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ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I guess this is more a question for sadists, although it equally applies to sadistic Masters / Mistresses / Doms / Dommes and Tops too.

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I am curious as to how you became comfortable with your own sadism and lost any residual feelings of guilt or apprehension about enjoying the pain of others?

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We are raised to believe that good partners are gentle and kind to each other, that they feel their loved one's pain or distress and act to end it.

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Knowing all of this, how do you smile when your submissive screams and enjoy the arousal it brings?

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How do revel in your sadism, rather than wondering where it will all end up?

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I remember in my early days as a submissive, I used to wonder where it would lead me; would I end up in a cold, dank cellar somewhere, chained to a wall and eating out of a dog bowl, hardly able to speak or think of myself as human?

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So, for the sadists, were you fearful of your own sadism in the beginning? And how did you lose that fear, or do you still have it?

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
Although I have owned that Bitchy part of me which is capable of sadistic action, I am not proud of it.

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ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12


So, for the sadists, were you fearful of your own sadism in the beginning? And how did you lose that fear, or do you still have it?

Thanks :-)

OD12

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ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

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ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12


So, for the sadists, were you fearful of your own sadism in the beginning? And how did you lose that fear, or do you still have it?

Thanks :-)

OD12

I am Primal, and carefully so. It takes time to learn where another's threshold is in regards to biting, hair pulling, scratching, gripping, take down, etc... I'd rather start off too gentle than too rough. It is so much better for her to urge me to be more viscous than have her recoil or withdraw from the "space/moment". Once I know where that level is, it is rooted in my subconscious and I will always ride the razors edge of too much, but not push past that. The drop from her sharp recoil/withdraw is not only harsh on her, it's pretty harsh on me.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I'm a spanker. I have a barrier pushing past the point of tears. I'm working on that.

I need the aftercare to reassure myself that I did not go too far.

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ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

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ORIGINAL: FieryOpal

Although I have owned that Bitchy part of me which is capable of sadistic action, I am not proud of it.

Strangely, although you don't identify as sadistic, I think this is very relevant to what I am asking. Do sadists ever feel ashamed of their sadism? I know so many sadists who become obviously, physically aroused when they see their submissive in pain, yet they hesitate to describe themselves as sadists or to revel in that arousal.

Of course, seeing unintentional, accidental, non-consensual pain (like the victim of the car crash that you described) is upsetting. How do sadists acknowledge their pleasure in seeing their loved one suffer, whilst switching off that response when seeing pain in the outside world?

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ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I guess this is more a question for sadists, although it equally applies to sadistic Masters / Mistresses / Doms / Dommes and Tops too.

I am curious as to how you became comfortable with your own sadism and lost any residual feelings of guilt or apprehension about enjoying the pain of others?

We are raised to believe that good partners are gentle and kind to each other, that they feel their loved one's pain or distress and act to end it.

Knowing all of this, how do you smile when your submissive screams and enjoy the arousal it brings? How do revel in your sadism, rather than wondering where it will all end up?

I remember in my early days as a submissive, I used to wonder where it would lead me; would I end up in a cold, dank cellar somewhere, chained to a wall and eating out of a dog bowl, hardly able to speak or think of myself as human?

Now, of course, I think it would be kind of fun even if that did happen ;-) But I know some beginner sadists feel the same unease; they wonder if they will turn into a bad person, if they will lose empathy for their loved one, if it is wrong to be aroused when their partner is screaming, with tears rolling down their face?

So, for the sadists, were you fearful of your own sadism in the beginning? And how did you lose that fear, or do you still have it?

Thanks :-)

OD12

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

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ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I guess this is more a question for sadists, although it equally applies to sadistic Masters / Mistresses / Doms / Dommes and Tops too.

I am curious as to how you became comfortable with your own sadism and lost any residual feelings of guilt or apprehension about enjoying the pain of others?

We are raised to believe that good partners are gentle and kind to each other, that they feel their loved one's pain or distress and act to end it.

Knowing all of this, how do you smile when your submissive screams and enjoy the arousal it brings? How do revel in your sadism, rather than wondering where it will all end up?

I remember in my early days as a submissive, I used to wonder where it would lead me; would I end up in a cold, dank cellar somewhere, chained to a wall and eating out of a dog bowl, hardly able to speak or think of myself as human?

Now, of course, I think it would be kind of fun even if that did happen ;-) But I know some beginner sadists feel the same unease; they wonder if they will turn into a bad person, if they will lose empathy for their loved one, if it is wrong to be aroused when their partner is screaming, with tears rolling down their face?

So, for the sadists, were you fearful of your own sadism in the beginning? And how did you lose that fear, or do you still have it?

Thanks :-)

OD12

This has been discussed before but it's one of those topics it's always good to see come back because there are always new viewpoints.

I've been at this for 15 years now. In the beginning, I had a hard time reconciling my growing desire to hurt and the arousal that came with it with my professional credo of "First...Do No Harm". One of the first things that helped was distinguishing the difference between "hurt" And "harm". Then came learning what "good hurt" constituted. Then finally, learning the difference between those of a masochistic nature...those who found the infliction of pain on themselves arousing...and those who either struggled to endure any sort of pain strictly for the Dominant and those who wore their pain as a sign of their victimhood. I wanted nothing to do with the last two types.

Time to begin. I had a sadistic individual who had already begun exploring his dominance...me. Seeking out submissives who enjoyed their masochism. I started slowly. I had fairly short, simple sessions with experienced masochists in which the desires for pain and arousal in both parties were satisfied. I began to learn what made me happy, what made different partners happy...similarities (spanking seeming to be the biggest one)...and differences (reaction to hair-pulling is an interesting study). I learned to
start slow and fairly mild (something I still do with a new partner, especially given my nature to include some aspect of my primal nature into play) and learned my limits. I learned new ways to hurt...some worked for me, some didn't. I began to explore the mental aspects of my sadism. I learned that a combination of dominance, mental play and physical play worked really well whether expressed in intricate ways or simple ways.

At first, there was fear. Fear I'd get so caught up that I'd harm somebody...Fear that I wouldn't go far enough to please someone...etc, etc. But I was always thinking...observing myself and my partner...communicating with other sadists and masochists...learning. I saw that as my experience and my ability to lease grew, so did my confidence and enjoyment. As My experience and confidence grew, my fear lessened. As my experiences proved to me the validity of others enjoying masochistic pleasure at my sadistic hands/mind, my negative feelings...what few there'd been...went away.

Now...to have a submissive masochist on her knees, face and shoulders to the bed, hands tied behind her, nipples clamped and pressed into an icebag, warming balm on her clit, me inside her while spanking her round, upturned ass...Ahhhhh.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

This has been discussed before but it's one of those topics it's always good to see come back because there are always new viewpoints.

I've been at this for 15 years now. In the beginning, I had a hard time reconciling my growing desire to hurt and the arousal that came with it with my professional credo of "First...Do No Harm". One of the first things that helped was distinguishing the difference between "hurt" And "harm". Then came learning what "good hurt" constituted. Then finally, learning the difference between those of a masochistic nature...those who found the infliction of pain on themselves arousing...and those who either struggled to endure any sort of pain strictly for the Dominant and those who wore their pain as a sign of their victimhood. I wanted nothing to do with the last two types.

Time to begin. I had a sadistic individual who had already begun exploring his dominance...me. Seeking out submissives who enjoyed their masochism. I started slowly. I had fairly short, simple sessions with experienced masochists in which the desires for pain and arousal in both parties were satisfied. I began to learn what made me happy, what made different partners happy...similarities (spanking seeming to be the biggest one)...and differences (reaction to hair-pulling is an interesting study). I learned to
start slow and fairly mild (something I still do with a new partner, especially given my nature to include some aspect of my primal nature into play) and learned my limits. I learned new ways to hurt...some worked for me, some didn't. I began to explore the mental aspects of my sadism. I learned that a combination of dominance, mental play and physical play worked really well whether expressed in intricate ways or simple ways.

At first, there was fear. Fear I'd get so caught up that I'd harm somebody...Fear that I wouldn't go far enough to please someone...etc, etc. But I was always thinking...observing myself and my partner...communicating with other sadists and masochists...learning. I saw that as my experience and my ability to lease grew, so did my confidence and enjoyment. As My experience and confidence grew, my fear lessened. As my experiences proved to me the validity of others enjoying masochistic pleasure at my sadistic hands/mind, my negative feelings...what few there'd been...went away.

Now...to have a submissive masochist on her knees, face and shoulders to the bed, hands tied behind her, nipples clamped and pressed into an icebag, warming balm on her clit, me inside her while spanking her round, upturned ass...Ahhhhh.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Brothers from a different mother, eh?

I did have one say she wouldn't play with me anymore if I "ever bring that motherfuckin' Serpent's Bite Cane near this ass again". Spoilsport.