RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kinky dating for you?

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[Poll]

What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kinky dating for you?

Writing the profile.

4% (3)

The first message.

4% (3)

Telling real from fake.

15% (11)

The first meeting.

9% (7)

Understanding protocol.

2% (2)

Safety concerns, sharing information.

9% (7)

The sheer numbers to sift through.

10% (8)

Communication.

9% (7)

The distance.

17% (13)

Other, please include in discussion.

16% (12)

Total Votes : 73

(last vote on : 4/13/2016 1:16:07 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/17/2015 6:34:47 AM

Kaliko

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I chose "Distance." (Of course.)

If not for a site like this, I would have never had the opportunity to fall like a brick for someone in so utterly inconvenient a location. I totally blame kinky dating sites for my unbridled happiness. ;)

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/17/2015 7:16:06 AM

JstAnotherSub

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Finding someone who digs fat redheads and aint batshit crazy is my only problem.

eta that geographically desirable thing is a bitch too.

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 1/17/2015 7:17:02 AM >

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/17/2015 7:19:36 AM

LiveSpark

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Finding someone who digs fat redheads and aint batshit crazy is my only problem.

eta that geographically desirable thing is a bitch too.

Only if they don't take the time to get to know you first - imo

If they don't you don't want them anyway. The geography thingy is a bitch though sadly.

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/17/2015 4:58:35 PM

sheisreeds

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The biggest nuisance for me when I was dating was folks who were not what they advertised. Not in the looks department, or even their vanilla interests, or social status, but rather in their actual interest in BDSM.

On CS, or as it was CM back then, finding edge players is like finding a diamond in the rough. F'ing impossible. Out of the 12 or so people I met from this site, all who claimed to be way into BDSM, 3 actually were. And those were 12 people I screened fairly carefully and made it pretty clear what I was into. Two others were reluctant and uncertain about their kinkiness, and bizarrely those were the only two with a questionable relationship status.

Thankfully back then I lived 2 blocks from a cafe that I was a part owner of, and was at all the time, so it wasn't a huge waste.

Being a young hot switch (at that time) I had an overload of mail, but that wasn't a huge annoyance since most of those were a single line of stupidity with a dick pick.

Also, I am not shy about messaging people, and put more energy into people I message.

And after all this strife with CM, the guy I messaged on OKCupid primarily to have someone to bitch to about how much divorce sucks, ended up being the one.

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/17/2015 5:03:08 PM

sheisreeds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

Finding someone who digs fat redheads and aint batshit crazy is my only problem.

eta that geographically desirable thing is a bitch too.

I'm now a fat redhead thanks to prednisone, and the discussion of me losing weight actually causes strife with my partner. He likes the fact that I have bigger tits and a bigger ass.

Also, there are a lot of sane BBW lovers in BDSM.

The issues are likely less about weight, and more about the fact that most people on CS (still feels weird typing that) are batshit crazy.

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/24/2015 12:10:34 AM

lovmuffin

Posts: 3759
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quote:

sheisreeds
And after all this strife with CM, the guy I messaged on OKCupid primarily to have someone to bitch to about how much divorce sucks, ended up being the one.

Not that I had a whole lot of strife on CS but I met my better half on OkCupid too. Though I think if she ever dumped me I would have a difficult time here because since we met I started posting a whole lot in the P&R forum. Any future prospects, before they got to know me would think I'm bat shit crazy right off the bat (pun intended). I think I would have to become a sock.

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/24/2015 12:26:57 AM

DaddySatyr

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I selected two. Even though one could have been worded a bit better ("Telling real from fake" I would have made it: "sorting out people who are who they claim to be on their profile"). Then, the "the shear numbers to sift through" which, to my mind, goes hand-in-hand with how I worded the first one.

Obviously, we're on the inter-webz so, there are any number of purposeful game-players and out-right scammers. I'm not really talking about them.

Conversely, there are so many people that may not even honestly be aware of who they really are. There's one I have been watching having a severe melt-down for months (Yes, I notified a moderator). Anyone just looking at the profile, on any given day would get one idea about this person but, watching all the permutations would give another view (The profile, literally, changes every week or so).

Then, you have people who may know who and what they are, but really don't honestly know what they want. They think they do, but after a while, what they thought they wanted doesn't seem quite so appealing. This might lead some of us to think that they lied, when in actuality, they're just confused.

Then, there's the people who are really appealing, but they're dealing with issues in their life (that may or may not be their own fault) that prevent them from being able to devote the time to building a relationship.

Of course, there's that "perfect" person ... who lives over 200 miles away ...

You get the point.

Michael

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/24/2015 3:38:47 AM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

I'm interested, what's the most difficult part of using CS and other sites to find your kinky match? You can choose multiple answers, and chood "other" and write your own.

*smiles*

There's one option missing, so I couldn't vote: "Nothing difficult or frustrating"

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RE: What is the most difficult/frustrating part of kink... - 1/25/2015 6:38:28 PM

usememistress775

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

There's one option missing, so I couldn't vote: "Nothing difficult or frustrating"

Of course you need to be able to have your profile seen....

For me it's distance and the fact that I'm attracted to older women who have age limit restrictions.

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