orgasmdenial12
Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
...making something popular doesn't un-kink it and make it vanilla.
It's not about popularity, it's about a kind of toning down, smoothing off the rough edges, repackaging it to eliminate the worrying, troublesome, scary bits. But in the process, eliminating the bits that make it really work, for some people.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
Why would what any other couple or couples think or do effect what my girl and I do and how we live in any way?
Just to be clear, I'm not asking about what people do, I'm asking what people think about what it is that we do, in a general way.
quote:
ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
I believe some kinks have become more mainstream while others are somewhat of a forgotten art if that makes sense.
Yes, it does make sense. And if this was an isolated conversation that's as far as my opinion would go. But having heard, recently, mutterings about the vanillarisation of kink, pieces started to click together in my mind and I wondered what other people thought of this subject and whether they had noticed shifting values in their own neck of the woods.
quote:
ORIGINAL: sheisreeds
...the stand and model folks as a rule don't use dungeon furniture >;) so the more of them there are at an event, the more we get to play >;)
Or the less dungeon furniture there is :-( I have been to one event recently where the 'dungeon' area was about 30 square metres, while the rest of the event was about 200 square metres x 4 floors! And the rules to use that little bit were really annoying and pathetic, as you mention in other parts of your post about needing to clear play with the DM. How can it be a play party if you need permission to play?!
quote:
ORIGINAL: sheisreeds
My point is things work themselves out in the end, while greater acceptance moves further and further along.
I think you made a very reasonable, well argued and experienced post and I thank you for it. I agreed with most posts you made and generally I like newcomers and the spread of BDSM. Perhaps I just feel, for the first time, on the wrong side of the majority, where it was my kink that was being slated. I hope that, as you say, it will all work out in the end.
quote:
ORIGINAL: seekingreality
If you do what's right for you, you shouldn't care what anyone else is doing.
I disagree. I, like many others, have long argued against s&m as a mental illness; to hear those views parroted out of the mouth of a so-called kinkster chilled me. It felt like abandonment from the in group. I think we have to be very careful about the portrayal of our scene, and when common kinks such as masochism or TPE are called abuse by kinksters, we need to sit up and take notice.
quote:
ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
The edgier aspects of kink should be discouraged for the casual player.
I hope that, by this, you mean the newbie player, rather than the casual player. One can be highly experienced and yet still casual. There have been times in my life when, due to relationships, work, moving and other preferences, that I did not wish to commit full-time to BDSM and simply engaged in it on an ad-hoc basis as and when I preferred; yet I still preferred the edgier aspects.
quote:
ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Your friend is being a Won Twoo Wayist
I did not say they were a friend. This person is a contributor on another discussion forum.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Bhruic
...the offshoot is that the lifestyle is slowly becoming more broadly accepted and understood, which seems like a good thing in the end.
Except, I don't think the lifestyle is becoming understood. Or, at least, not the aspects that make it exciting for many people. If acceptance only means a traditional relationship with a bit of teasy spanking thrown in then it is hardly radical. What needs to be accepted is exactly the edgy, difficult aspects. If we were waiting for the softer aspects to be understood, then we achieved that long ago. It's not fluffy handcuffs and silk scarves that needs understanding, there is no prejudice against that anyway - it's the harder aspects that still mark us as outside the norm, and so it's those aspects that need acceptance and understanding. To join the scene, yet reject those aspects, is no understanding at all; if anything it represents a deeper betrayal, a kind of hostile take-over of the entire concept of BDSM and its reason for being outside the mainstream.
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RE: The Vanillarisation of Kink? - 
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