quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I've played with going deeper than the submissive thought they could but...for the majority of the time...it's been after discussion of the new thing being introduced. I've found that in the majority of cases where something new was presented without discussion first...And no matter how much the submissive pleaded for me to just do it...there was resentment that was expressed sometime after the end of the session.

My first example of this was a submissive on Denver that I'd played with on several occasions. I knew her limits...where she'd gone, where she wanted to go, where she'd never been. She asked "Sir, I've gotten involved in Crimson Moons and I've met a Domme who said I could invite someone to her home dungeon and play. Please come. Sir". So, I went. I'd read about the Crimson Moon group and was curious. Got to the Domme's home and met her, her submissive and my young lady there. After an interesting and informative discussion, we headed downstairs. My lady for the evening and I sat down and watched the Domme "tear into" her female submissive. She moved quickly from using her hand to using a flogger to a belt to a paddle. She stayed longest with the paddle before moving to a birch branch. I'd heard of using these but had not seen it before. My girl kept clenching my arm and saying "oh Sir...please...I want to do that". I said I'd never done it and was unsure about it. "Please Sir". "We'll see.". Finally, they were done. I attached her to the cross and flogged her breasts for awhile as we'd discovered this was REALLY good foreplay for her, especially when I'd suck and bite on her nipples between strokes. When she was wet, I moved her over to the spanking bench, secured her and went to work. I went through my progression ...hand, flogger, belt, then a massage of her reddening ass cheeks. While I was massaging her, she began to plead for the birch branch. I asked her if she was sure and she said she wanted to see if she'd cum with it since she was "so close". I picked it up and, copying the Domme's technique, struck her quickly and lightly. Within 3 or 4 strikes to each cheek, her head was raised and she was loudly asking permission to cum while crying. I gave my permission and while she came, dished out several more light strokes which seemed to add to her pleasure...
I untied her, held her for awhile and then moved to the couch where we cuddled for awhile. The Domme brought me some lotion to apply to the lady's ass cheeks and as I did, she had a series of "after-gasms". I helped her dress, we went for coffee and she began to calm down out of "La-La land". She thanked me for a wonderful evening and I drove home (an hour and a half). Got home around midnight, went to bed, got up for work the next day. Picked up the phone at noon, expecting a patient on the other end and damn near got my ear taken off. Seems my partner had woken up with "bee sting" marks...which I subsequently learned are common with birch branches...And had to leave work because she could not sit. This...And her loss of wages...were, of course, MY fault.

So...I am extremely careful about venturing into what is virgin territory. For myself and ESPECIALLY for the submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

Thank you Aibo for clarity and LOL CD, sounds like an amazing and hilarious experience. Hopefully in hindsight you can both laugh about it. What is interesting is you gave in to her desires yet still accept responsibility for the aftershock. I suppose in part because you two were quite familiar and you didn't know enough about your tools of trade. This is a guess on my part. I have never had a sub really beg or request anything from me except for special allowances. My Domination style is relatively unpredictable. The whole experience sounds really hot though reality set in the next day LOL.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Well...acceptance of the responsibility was all I could do...I was the dominant and in charge.

But...it WAS really, really, really hot. Playing in front of just two people with the ability to allow her to cum (which you could not do at the BDSM club in Denver at that time), watching a FemDom tease her femsub to the brink over and over before finally allowing her to cum, the inspection of both submissives afterward. My girl damn near swallowed me whole on the way to the coffee shop! It was great!!
But...the next day? Not so much.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
..."*insert name here* isn't a masochist. But she reacted quite strongly to being forced to take four needles through her nipples while strapped into a gas mask, and wearing *insert name here*'s nipple stocks to make things extra sensitive. Submission can do wonderful things."

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

If the person in the quote had a positive response to being made to suffer, then she certainly was a masochist, whatever she may prefer to label herself.

It always amuses me when people start off sentences by saying "I'm not a masochist, but..." because you know that they're going to describe something that is textbook masochism, as in the case above.

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I had a fairly long reply typed out, then my browser crashed lol. Ugh.

Okay, as a bit of background: My Owner lives about three hours away so we are more a weekend thing than 24/7, lately he has been working 6 or 7 days a week so even weekends have been out. And I'm in a city where I still don't know many people so there is a fair amount of isolation in my life.

All of that has led me to want to explore the scene here, make friends I can talk about my Owner with because vanilla friends just don't get it and I have to censor so much. I'd love to be around people where I don't have to think twice about what I want to say.

And that is the very short version of my previous post!

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I had a fairly long reply typed out, then my browser crashed lol. Ugh.

Okay, as a bit of background: My Owner lives about three hours away so we are more a weekend thing than 24/7, lately he has been working 6 or 7 days a week so even weekends have been out. And I'm in a city where I still don't know many people so there is a fair amount of isolation in my life.

All of that has led me to want to explore the scene here, make friends I can talk about my Owner with because vanilla friends just don't get it and I have to censor so much. I'd love to be around people where I don't have to think twice about what I want to say.

And that is the very short version of my previous post!

You're pretty awesome, sweet, funny, likable and very approachable. I am not, not even in the vanilla context am I approachable. When people see me they would probably think "bimbo" as first thought. The women in my gym probably think I'm a shameless harlot trying to pick up on one of the young guys there and my mother takes all the credit for everything I do for my siblings, nor do I give a shit to clarify with my family what really goes on, this is my nature. I'm fine with others getting all the praise while I work on the sidelines doing my own thing. "Proving myself" has never been my raison d'etre.
There is difficulty in connecting my physical appearance to my personality and thought process. Trying to be understood by a room full of strangers in context to this lifestyle does not at all appeal to me. I already have the preconception that 9 times out of 10 they will chuck me out as a newbie and try to guide me with their way and chances are that is one of the few things that would elicit a "not good" response from me. It would be unpleasant for all parties involved. I'm better as being misunderstood by all but my submissive and the handful of other people I truly trust.

quote:

I'm shy, paralyzingly shy. Yet I love people lol. Twice now I've driven to the location of our closest Munch. Twice now I've just sat in the parking lot because actually walking in, actually finding the group and actually introducing myself freaks me out.

I've actually contemplated hiring some whacko stranger to walk in with me lol. I get all tangled up in 'what do I wear to present the PERFECT image? wtf is my image?? what if no one likes meeee or even worse what if they do and want to do stuff with me'. I worry because I have to cancel things often due to my health, I don't drink alcohol so bars are boring to me and I can't drive in an unfamiliar place at night because I can't see well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

Thank you so much for the kind words, the much needed words.

I'm shy, paralyzingly shy. Yet I love people lol. Twice now I've driven to the location of our closest Munch. Twice now I've just sat in the parking lot because actually walking in, actually finding the group and actually introducing myself freaks me out.

I've actually contemplated hiring some whacko stranger to walk in with me lol. I get all tangled up in 'what do I wear to present the PERFECT image? wtf is my image?? what if no one likes meeee or even worse what if they do and want to do stuff with me'. I worry because I have to cancel things often due to my health, I don't drink alcohol so bars are boring to me and I can't drive in an unfamiliar place at night because I can't see well.

All that stuff just gets bigger and bigger in my head until, well.. until I stay in my car in the parking lot.

Since I'm nearing 50 (wince), I don't think my physical appearance matters. At least I hope not. I'm drab and overweight.

And btw, you feel approachable to me. You notice things, you seem kind and intelligent. Not in the least off-putting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

Do you ever feel like you are limiting yourself in any way by not being explorative in the lifestyle or are you quite happy with keeping things fun and light?