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RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 8:11:58 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iCandy

Hi, I appreciate every single reply:

He has stated that he was tricked into putting on wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and then over taken.
He explained photo were taken of him and used to blackmail him for over a year, until she decided to move back to a dying mom.
To which I am thinking he might still be a slave to her if she did not break it off, and maybe he is used this as an excuse to explore his submissive side.

He did say that this happened at the age of 24 and is now in his 40s.
He has said that she taught him many things to ensure he was a better Dom to his slave.

I am having issues with understanding will he always have submissive tendencies?

Does anyone have anything similar to share, going from slave to dominant ?

I would have no issue with someone who had been a slave and then evolved into being a Dom. I would have a real issue with someone who made a bullshit story like this.

Trust is an absolutely vital part of D/s. A Dom is going to chain you up, be using whips on you, etc. You need to know that he knows what he's doing.

You're not talking with a Dom. You're talking with someone who's telling you his own fantasies. I imagine you've never met with him, and all this has been online. Anyone with three months of experience going to munches and parties and meeting people could make a more plausible story than he did.

Look, iCandy, you have a hidden profile and it looks like you're trying to play online. If you intend to continue online, then it really doesn't matter if he's sub, switch, or Dom if he can spin a good story. If you intend for it to move offline at some point, then unhide your profile and get out and meet people.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to iCandy)

Post #: 21

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 8:47:08 AM

sunshine11

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/9/2010
Status: offline

Sometimes I think the best way to train a slave is to learn how to be one first.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 22

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 9:23:53 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iCandy

Hi, I appreciate every single reply:

He has stated that he was tricked into putting on wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and then over taken.
He explained photo were taken of him and used to blackmail him for over a year, until she decided to move back to a dying mom.
To which I am thinking he might still be a slave to her if she did not break it off, and maybe he is used this as an excuse to explore his submissive side.

He did say that this happened at the age of 24 and is now in his 40s.
He has said that she taught him many things to ensure he was a better Dom to his slave.

I am having issues with understanding will he always have submissive tendencies?

Does anyone have anything similar to share, going from slave to dominant ?

Put me firmly on the side of smelling bullshit in this story.

This is simply beyond ridiculous. A guy gets blackmailed, for a year... and the blackmailer simply gave up one day and moved back to their dying mother and dropped the blackmail? Did the pictures magically disappear?

How in the world did he learn how to be a better dominant from being the victim of a crime? Being mugged makes you a better mugger? What the fuck makes him submissive from this experience? Victim? Yes. Submissive? Not so much.

I really think that you are asking the wrong questions here. If these are fantasies, great. If they are not, I would suggest you worry a bit more about who it is you are getting involved with rather than whether or not they might be submissive or dominant.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to iCandy)

Post #: 23

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 9:28:05 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshine11

Sometimes I think the best way to train a slave is to learn how to be one first.

The best way to train a dog is to be one first?

Understanding, self-education, self-discipline, empathy, and some basic sense make dominants and submissives better at who they are.

Edited because I am a bumbling idiot without sufficient coffee.

< Message edited by Gauge -- 1/29/2015 9:41:40 AM >

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to sunshine11)

Post #: 24

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 10:58:26 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

BS pure and simple. The easiest thing in the world would have been to visit a lawyer and threaten a civil suit for damages. It wouldn't even have needed involving a cop.

However, lots of male bottoms do have this blackmail fantasy. I'm betting if you continue to play online, it will soon switch over to him ordering you to top him. Ordering you to wear the latex domme outfit of his fantasies.

If you want to do this, great. If you want something that might be real, he isn't it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 25

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 12:36:34 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline

Yeah, he's a switch.

A lot of people who switch are a bit tetchy about the label and try to explain it away but the simple and most easily understandable fact is that he has enjoyed both roles at some point in his life, making him a switch.

(in reply to iCandy)

Post #: 26

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 2:22:33 PM

preytolife

Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iCandy

Hi, I appreciate every single reply:

He has stated that he was tricked into putting on wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and then over taken.
He explained photo were taken of him and used to blackmail him for over a year, until she decided to move back to a dying mom.
To which I am thinking he might still be a slave to her if she did not break it off, and maybe he is used this as an excuse to explore his submissive side.

He did say that this happened at the age of 24 and is now in his 40s.
He has said that she taught him many things to ensure he was a better Dom to his slave.

I am having issues with understanding will he always have submissive tendencies?

Does anyone have anything similar to share, going from slave to dominant ?

That sounds like BS. Probably a fetishist. That said, "switch" and all other labels are self determined. I might look at you and think that fit my definition of a switch but you are under no obligation to identify that way or agree with me. Lots of people involved in BDSM in practice might switch at times but they don't call themselves that and it's not uncommon for people to keep quiet if they do.

(in reply to iCandy)

Post #: 27

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 2:26:47 PM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

Most people I know have tried both sides to find out which they liked.... hell I still have video saved of an ex Dom crying and begging me to let him be my slave. And he was even one of those "I'd never sub" types. It's out likely that he tried being a slave and realized he didn't like it as much as he thought he would so he is seeing if Dom works better. I've been with people who were identified houses that required they be a slave first, and I followed the same path under them for a while until I realized domming is really boring and switched it up until I found what what I wanted.

< Message edited by DerangedUnit -- 1/29/2015 2:29:02 PM >

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)

Post #: 28

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 2:57:15 PM

iCandy

Posts: 5
Status: offline

Hello, I really appreciate the replies..

First neither of us are new to this site, but wanted to post anonymously.
I asked him if he would be okay if i posted those questions, to try to understand my confusion.

We did meet, first at a public spot, then a few days later he invited me to his place.

Where I stayed a few day learning him, his life, stories we shared. Trust takes time, experience and honesty. I appreciated him telling me his stories of his younger years.

I suppose it just took me by surprise to hear, a bit of doubt creeped in.. might call it a red flag, not sure yet.

It is why I am here, trying to get information on any other male subs that have reached a point where they are now dominant.

Has it been helpful to serve as a slave at one time?, did it make them a better master?
and will he always have submissive traits, needs, desires?

(in reply to DerangedUnit)

Post #: 29

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 3:17:14 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iCandy

Hello, I really appreciate the replies..

First neither of us are new to this site, but wanted to post anonymously.
I asked him if he would be okay if i posted those questions, to try to understand my confusion.

We did meet, first at a public spot, then a few days later he invited me to his place.

Where I stayed a few day learning him, his life, stories we shared. Trust takes time, experience and honesty. I appreciated him telling me his stories of his younger years.

I suppose it just took me by surprise to hear, a bit of doubt creeped in.. might call it a red flag, not sure yet.

It is why I am here, trying to get information on any other male subs that have reached a point where they are now dominant.

Has it been helpful to serve as a slave at one time?, did it make them a better master?
and will he always have submissive traits, needs, desires?

That is just too individual for anyone to say 'sure it will make him an UberDom!'. I'd be laughed out of the room if I attempted to dominate someone, and I'd likely be in tears because I'd feel terrible. My Owner has never sexually submitted to anyone and he is a marvelous Owner for me.

There is just no way anyone except him can reply to your last three questions. Maybe it made him a better Master, maybe not.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to iCandy)

Post #: 30

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 7:43:12 PM

sunnyDomme2000

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline

Lol, people change all the time. How old was this guy when he 'subbed'? I had a brief submissive phase before I figured out I was destined to be forever dominant. My short term as a sub proved to me that I would never go back, and was without a doubt a very strict dominant. Did this guy act submissive to you? Did he ask you to Dom him or something? Unless he acted submissive to you, I would assume that he is no longer submissive in any way. I fucked up really bad about 10 years ago. I met a guy that treated me like a princess. He made me feel so good. He made me think I was the most important thing in his life. I questioned it and figured I could still look for other slaves. I collared a female slave and kind of put this male slave on a back burner. He saw that I really didn't respect him. He had a good job, good friends, and a great attitude on life. He treated me with total respect. I fucked up. Sometimes as a dominant I think of anyone submissive has to be a worthless piece of property. If I could do it all over, I would hug him and tell him that he is the one for me.

I may have gotten off topic a bit, but if you find a guy that treats you with respect, don't piss him off. Hug him and give him your heart. If Jeff will take me back, I will give him the respect he deserves. You can send me a private message if you want.

Mistress Annie

(in reply to camille65)

Post #: 31

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 8:18:37 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iCandy

Hello, I really appreciate the replies..

First neither of us are new to this site, but wanted to post anonymously.
I asked him if he would be okay if i posted those questions, to try to understand my confusion.

We did meet, first at a public spot, then a few days later he invited me to his place.

Where I stayed a few day learning him, his life, stories we shared. Trust takes time, experience and honesty. I appreciated him telling me his stories of his younger years.

I suppose it just took me by surprise to hear, a bit of doubt creeped in.. might call it a red flag, not sure yet.

Red flag is what I would call it, but that is just me and my opinion.

quote:

It is why I am here, trying to get information on any other male subs that have reached a point where they are now dominant.

Has it been helpful to serve as a slave at one time?, did it make them a better master?
and will he always have submissive traits, needs, desires?

Each person's experiences will be drastically different, so asking others these questions may not provide you with the answers you really need.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to iCandy)

Post #: 32

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 9:01:01 PM

sunnyDomme2000

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline

I tried to search your profile after i replied to your message. It said you are not available. Another fake profile I guess. You are probably a guy trying to pretend to be a girl. You fucking guys need to stop thinking you can pretend to be girls just to get some reply that you can whack off to. Some guy sent me a message last year saying he was a good guy. Totally fucking fake since he never replied to my message a day later. Why do people even get on this site if they are not truly looking for a Dom or sub. It reminds me of some African guy telling me I just got 10 million or so in some account because he is some fucking prince of Africa or something. Has anyone ever actually gotten the 7 million they promised for some African prince......

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 33

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 9:11:19 PM

Moderator3

Posts: 3289
Status: offline

I am sorry that you had a bad experience, but please don't lash out at a member because you 'think' you know what is going on. You have just in a sense blacklisted another member and it has been here for hours before I found it. You are wrong.

By the way, your profile is doing the same thing.

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 1/29/2015 9:18:52 PM >

_____________________________

FAST REPLY

(in reply to sunnyDomme2000)

Post #: 34

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 9:31:27 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnyDomme2000

I tried to search your profile after i replied to your message. It said you are not available. Another fake profile I guess. You are probably a guy trying to pretend to be a girl. You fucking guys need to stop thinking you can pretend to be girls just to get some reply that you can whack off to. Some guy sent me a message last year saying he was a good guy. Totally fucking fake since he never replied to my message a day later. Why do people even get on this site if they are not truly looking for a Dom or sub. It reminds me of some African guy telling me I just got 10 million or so in some account because he is some fucking prince of Africa or something. Has anyone ever actually gotten the 7 million they promised for some African prince......

I did. The check is supposed to arrive any day now. I had to give them my bank account numbers and my Social Security number, but it was the only way I would get the money.

Was that bad?

Welcome to the forums... I think.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to sunnyDomme2000)

Post #: 35

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/29/2015 11:38:36 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iCandy
I suppose it just took me by surprise to hear, a bit of doubt creeped in.. might call it a red flag, not sure yet.

Trust that feeling. If it feels like a red flag, then it is a red flag *for you*. Stop, ask, challenge, explore. I don't think I've ever benefited from smoothing over a red flag, they always come back and bite you on the ass.

(in reply to iCandy)

Post #: 36

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/30/2015 5:57:05 AM

sunnyDomme2000

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline

I guess I am a bit new to posting on here. I feel bad that my last post was somehow aimed at the wrong person. My apologies to gauge.when I said I checked on a profile that seemed to be fake, it was the original author of this post icandy. Her profile is blocked or deleted or turned off. I have been burned in the past so I do get a little concerned when I see a blank profile or one that is not viewable. It's a red flag to me.

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)

Post #: 37

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/30/2015 6:56:57 AM

Moderator3

Posts: 3289
Status: offline

It doesn't matter what member you were talking about, you are accusing them of things that are not true and while I normally wouldn't do this, I feel I must because what you have said was off base, not allowed and had been up for hours with many members able to see it. Your own profile is the same as the one you said something about. Are you a scammer/fake from Africa? A man posing as a woman? A woman posing as a man? Multiple profiles? Playing games?

Please stop. I said that you were wrong and knew who you were talking about. I really didn't expect you to continue and this needs to end now.

_____________________________

FAST REPLY

(in reply to sunnyDomme2000)

Post #: 38

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/30/2015 7:30:20 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: iCandy

Hi, I appreciate every single reply:

He has stated that he was tricked into putting on wrist cuffs, ankle cuffs and then over taken.
He explained photo were taken of him and used to blackmail him for over a year, until she decided to move back to a dying mom.
To which I am thinking he might still be a slave to her if she did not break it off, and maybe he is used this as an excuse to explore his submissive side.

He did say that this happened at the age of 24 and is now in his 40s.
He has said that she taught him many things to ensure he was a better Dom to his slave.

I am having issues with understanding will he always have submissive tendencies?

Does anyone have anything similar to share, going from slave to dominant ?

I would have no issue with someone who had been a slave and then evolved into being a Dom. I would have a real issue with someone who made a bullshit story like this.

Trust is an absolutely vital part of D/s. A Dom is going to chain you up, be using whips on you, etc. You need to know that he knows what he's doing.

You're not talking with a Dom. You're talking with someone who's telling you his own fantasies. I imagine you've never met with him, and all this has been online. Anyone with three months of experience going to munches and parties and meeting people could make a more plausible story than he did.

Look, iCandy, you have a hidden profile and it looks like you're trying to play online. If you intend to continue online, then it really doesn't matter if he's sub, switch, or Dom if he can spin a good story. If you intend for it to move offline at some point, then unhide your profile and get out and meet people.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 39

RE: Slave turns Dominant? - 1/30/2015 7:36:21 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnyDomme2000

I tried to search your profile after i replied to your message. It said you are not available. Another fake profile I guess. You are probably a guy trying to pretend to be a girl. You fucking guys need to stop thinking you can pretend to be girls just to get some reply that you can whack off to. Some guy sent me a message last year saying he was a good guy. Totally fucking fake since he never replied to my message a day later. Why do people even get on this site if they are not truly looking for a Dom or sub. It reminds me of some African guy telling me I just got 10 million or so in some account because he is some fucking prince of Africa or something. Has anyone ever actually gotten the 7 million they promised for some African prince......

Oh isn't that cute. A poster with a hidden profile ragging on another poster for having a hidden profile. But I digress, you asked the wrong question. You asked "Has anyone ever actually gotten the 7 million they promised for some African prince......" when the better question would be "is anyone ever actually stupid enough to try and get the money?"

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to sunnyDomme2000)

Post #: 40

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