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NookieNotes -> RE: I Don't Understand About Women & Money (2/20/2015 2:18:40 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
quote:
ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
These days, if women want any sort of equality, they should expect to go dutch; not 'expect' the guy to pay for everything.
I kind of agree with this, but only when we're using the word "expect". I am not sure that I have ever let a lady pay for a date in the early stages. I may have, I, honestly, don't think so. If she comes in with an expectation ... that's another issue, altogether.
I think I've told this story, here, before but I think it is relevant, in this thread:
It was 1983 or '84. I was, therefore, 19 or 20 years old. This young lady was in my place of business. She started flirting with me. I would never have flirted with her because it wouldn't have been appropriate.
Eventually, she asked me if I wanted to go out on a date. I was making about $10,000 per year. She had already told me that she made $70,000.
I explained that there wasn't a whole lot of money in the coffers for dating but that I would welcome the opportunity to get to know here better in a place in which I didn't work. She said: "Well, where would you like to take me?" I didn't realize it, then, but when I think back on it, now, I'm sure she thought she was "shifting responsibility for the date" onto my shoulders.
I told her about a little Italian place that I knew that was quiet, the food was good, and we could dine, casually, during the week (I also knew that I could afford it without too much budget adjustment on my part).
She refused to ride on my motorcycle and I didn't own a cage so, she picked me up. She started driving in the wrong direction. I told her that and she said: "We're going somewhere else." I didn't realize that she meant for dinner . I thought she meant before dinner.
We pull up to this Mexican restaurant (I can't handle the spice. I've had ulcers, since I'm 17). So, I knew my choices were going to be limited.
She tried to insist that I eat what she wanted to me to eat. She droned on about how much money she made and (it seemed) how that made her a better person than so many others.
I got a plain burger. She had some kind of fancy-assed whatever. She insisted upon alcohol (Sangria). I abstained.
When the check came, it was one of those moments where people seem to be communicating telepathically. We looked at each other, looked at the check, looked at each other ... finally, she said: "You don't expect me to pay, do you?"
My response was: "God bless Gloria Steinhem."
A) I felt justified because I didn't ask her.
B) I felt justified because she took us to a place where I couldn't really eat anything that I enjoyed.
C) I felt justified because she made more money than I did.
D) I felt justified because by this point in time, men had been told, vehemently, that equality was the word of the day.
On a personal note: I probably would have paid, anyway (and taken a bit of a financial hit) had she not EXPECTED me to pay. That attitude of entitlement was the final straw.
Michael
Well, that is just a story of rudeness on her part. That's not courtship. Without communication, it's entitlement, nothing more.
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