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Domination - 7/14/2006 9:24:02 AM

CuteIrishM4F

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/19/2004
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Respectfully...
What is Your prefered method of Dominating a male sub?
althalus.

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RE: Domination - 7/14/2006 10:42:14 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
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From: Houston, TX
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What do you mean by method? Are you asking about favorite form of play or types of control?

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RE: Domination - 7/14/2006 12:38:02 PM

ArtimisBlack

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I was going to post something similar to this, so I'm just going to tack on to the OP's original question...what methods can be used to make someone (specifically a female) who is not physically intimidating seem more forceful (to a male) ? What are some good names you could call a male sub that they might find humiliating? It's odd, I don't have this problem interacting with female subs, but when it comes to males my mind just goes blank. I need to jump-start my creativity.

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RE: Domination - 7/14/2006 2:27:25 PM

Lashra

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Well I find grabbing him by the balls and threatening to cut them off with the knife in my hand to be very effective in Dominating him. Also nipple clamps tend to make him tend to make him jelly in my hands. I think alot of times its the tone of your voice and facial expression that can instill real fear into a person. My sub swears I have a killer stare that sends chills thru him and when we are scening and I turn that stare on him, he is putty in my hands.
Now as for names malebitch, slutboy, tinycock, missy, hebitch, slut, whore , cocksucker , boy, junior, Mister blackcockwannabe ( I have a black strapon

). Mine personally melts when I call him slut and grab a handful of his hair and force him onto his knees. We like to play rough and some people I know aren't into that.

~Lashra

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RE: Domination - 7/15/2006 1:47:13 AM

mons

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it is a hard question you have asked there are so many different ways
are you asking for yourself to learn or just want something out of it i have had
males ask me on im what do you do to your slave i know then they are just asking to get excited

but if you truly want yo know just read the fourm and you will find out how and why it takes wait to long to even answer that one

take care
mons

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RE: Domination - 7/15/2006 10:05:44 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
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The way I dominate greatly depends on the submissive. Some methods are not as effective as others for particular people. The best thing I can say is to get to know the person so you can get in their head. You will be able to figure out what pushes their buttons. Until then, you can hone your techniques by doing several different things. You should, however, have a lot of communication with the sub so you can have a starting point. As time goes on, you will be able to figure out what works and what does not.

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RE: Domination - 7/15/2006 2:47:35 PM

MistressTexas

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Artemis, I find that it is the manner in which you present yourself that makes you intimidating... I know some people that are terrifying if they yell, while I have been told by many people (subs and vanilla alike) that I am much scarier when I speak very quietly. Present yourself as a confident, well put together woman, and a lot of people will be scared by it. Heels always help, leather helps lol. Just experiment. If you feel comfortable and gorgeous in your clothes, you will be intimidating. Just walk around like you own the place. And hell if that doesnt work, carry a big stick... that seems to help.

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RE: Domination - 7/16/2006 5:14:57 PM

Controladora

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I think it varies according to the individual. What works for one may not work for another. You have to figure out what triggers and sets things off mentally for them.

As a female it is challenging to dominate a male physically, so its important for the slave to really know that you mean business and that comes with following through on your word.

Controladora

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RE: Domination - 7/17/2006 6:10:46 AM

MisPandora

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From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuteIrishM4F

Respectfully...
What is Your prefered method of Dominating a male sub?
althalus.

I guess it's just me that feels that this is baiting us into sharing wank-material?

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Domination - 7/17/2006 5:04:50 PM

CuteIrishM4F

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Dear all,
           Thank You so much for Your interesting posts. as a newbie to BDSM, therrar many things i am ignorant of and more still i have no experiance with. my curiosity gets the best of me sometimes, but i assure You all, that i mean it in honest spirits. i have no alternate purpose for asking any question, and i resent what Mistress Pandora said (re-typed below). Thank You Controladora and MsKat Heuston for Your insight. i agree that getting to know the person is very important to finding individual triggers within them. Also, it works the other way. Getting to know my Mistress (whoever She may yet be) will make the psycological play more fun.
           Regards,
                          althalus.

I think it varies according to the individual. What works for one may not work for another. You have to figure out what triggers and sets things off mentally for them.
- Controladora

The way I dominate greatly depends on the submissive. Some methods are not as effective as others for particular people. The best thing I can say is to get to know the person so you can get in their head.
- MsKatHouston

I guess it's just me that feels that this is baiting us into sharing wank-material?
- Pandora

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RE: Domination - 7/17/2006 6:25:23 PM

CapitalistBitch

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UGH just like a newbie to want to "talk" about it endlessly. Why dont you try real time chief?

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RE: Domination - 7/18/2006 10:30:29 AM

CuteIrishM4F

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What choice have i CapitalistBitch? i don't know a real-time Domme in my part of the world.

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RE: Domination - 7/18/2006 12:34:25 PM

iliv2servher

Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTexas

Artemis, I find that it is the manner in which you present yourself that makes you intimidating... I know some people that are terrifying if they yell, while I have been told by many people (subs and vanilla alike) that I am much scarier when I speak very quietly. Present yourself as a confident, well put together woman, and a lot of people will be scared by it. Heels always help, leather helps lol. Just experiment. If you feel comfortable and gorgeous in your clothes, you will be intimidating. Just walk around like you own the place. And hell if that doesnt work, carry a big stick... that seems to help.

I believe that we all have to find our own voice, both femdommes and subs alike. And by "voice" what I really mean is "style." One person's style might be to yell, while another person might project what I would like to call quiet penetration. Different styles for different folks. And each person's style works better when they are confident in their delivery.

Our particular strengths lie in believing in ourselves, as well as in the knowledge of how we project our dominance, submissiveness and sexuality to others.

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RE: Domination - 7/18/2006 12:38:03 PM

ArtimisBlack

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Thank you all for your helpful answers, I really appreciate all the input you've given me and plan on putting it to good use in the future.

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The pain is free. Do not pick the scab.

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RE: Domination - 7/18/2006 1:17:27 PM

MistressJan

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If you do not have a real time coach, you could try an online Mentor. You are not going to learn that much from reading the threads because they are only going to tell you what they want you to know.
I trained online in the beginning as a sub, and then they realized I was Dom. Then I found a real life Domme to teach me things such as flogging, edge play, etc.
I don't regret training this way at all. I learned a lot.

Respectfully,

Mistress_Jan
I am quite fond of erotic hair pull also. Nipple clamps, and oil of peppermint are handy gadgets as well. My favorite toy is my crop.

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RE: Domination - 7/18/2006 1:44:36 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
I guess it's just me that feels that this is baiting us into sharing wank-material?

No, it's not just you, but I wasn't going to comment on it.

Than I thought the OP simply needed a shared definition of domination, so here is my contribution:
Main Entry: dom·i·na·tion

Pronunciation: "dä-m&-'nA-sh&n
Function: noun
1 : supremacy or preeminence over another
2 : exercise of mastery or ruling power
3 : exercise of preponderant, governing, or controlling influence

On the other hand, how someone uses you or treats you as her submissive is entirely individually based, and you should be able to get some idea from her profile. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 7/18/2006 1:46:26 PM >

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RE: Domination - 7/18/2006 2:02:16 PM

Cloudz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CapitalistBitch

UGH just like a newbie to want to "talk" about it endlessly. Why dont you try real time chief?

Ugh, just like a newbie to the boards to come off like a right bitch. Your wisdom will not be welcomed for long - try treating the people you find her with a bit of kindness and respect.

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RE: Domination - 7/18/2006 11:37:12 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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Resent all you want. Those of us with years of experience have gone through this before.

What options do you have?

-- observe Behaviors, especially other submissives.
-- Post about expectations as a submissive on submissive boards to get a first-hand and EXPERIENCED reply from those who are actually involved. Responses from folks who are living in a cyber world and not yet practicing BDSM in RT themselves are not going to offer you proper perspective.
-- Buy books on SM topics. There are a ton on Amazon.com, an international company.
-- Read up on the subject material, both in print form and on the internet, beyond chat boards.
-- Get involved on [email protected]
-- Check http://www.bdsmireland.org/

You and I had exchanged a nice discourse back when you first started posting via email. Quite frankly, I was disappointed myself in seeing you now posting like this.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Domination - 7/19/2006 1:07:51 AM

CuteIrishM4F

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Mis Pandora,

No disrespect was meant. Quite frankly, i can't see how what i have written or what questions i have asked are wrong. i am yet to meet a real time Domme in my country and i have been giving some thought to finally accepting that there are none. As a result, i have begun to question the whole thing as many of the so called Dommes i have been in communication with are in this for money. It isn't a personal and deeply felt way of being for many of them (though admitedly not all as far as i can tell through this limited form of communication), as submission seems for me.

When i asked what was "the preferred method of dominating a male sub", i was infact trying to ascertain what pleasure a Dominant Female could get out of such a scenario. It had very little to do with my own pleasure, let me assure You. Alot of my perceptions of BDSM have been clouded by insincere people online and by my own unrealistic fantasies. i don't mean to insult anyone, but having had such an unpleasant and dissapointing experiance online thusfar, i was making an attempt at preventing my disillusionment from growing further. Offence is not intended and i hope not taken. i have met some very nice and seemingly honest people here. When i ask a question like this it is for my own insight and none need answer if they think it beneath them.

On another note, i will take up Your advice Mis Pandora as it seemeth sound to me. i have already taken some of these steps already, and intend to further my involvement with Nimhneach&bdsmireland too. i apologise if You have been put out with me.
Thank You for Your time.

a.

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RE: Domination - 7/19/2006 6:43:27 AM

MisPandora

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Thank you for your clarification.

You responded as though you'd disappointed me. I'm wondering how you felt when you read my post, and if my interpretation is correct. (There is a reason why I'm asking this.)

A lesson learned already for you boy, is that when you post a question, try to do it with as much clarity as possible. It makes a vast difference to me knowing the background of a question.

Example --
1) "What do you ladies like to do with your slaves?"
2) "I just encountered three women in a row online who said they wanted to shave me naked, dip me in crisco and deep fry me. I've not transitioned to RT because of my own community limitations, so my exposure has been limited to folks like this. What do you ladies like to do with your slaves? Is what they're asking the norm?"

Two entirely different connotations are taken from that phrase. It does help to know that you're posting out of a genuine frustration because you've only encountered fin-doms or scammers, and because you've not been able to make the transition to RT yet, for whatever reason.

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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