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How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 3:17:42 PM

newsubnokc1

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/18/2015
Status: offline

I met a man in 2008 at first we were not in a sub/dom relationship, He told me later he was a dom and that he had been trained under the house of Kim. I explored the lifestyle, but he was not a dominate. I worked he sat at the computer or took naps. For the past few years there was no intimacy at all. In April I caught him in a lie about finances and I broke up with him. I moved myself out of our bedroom, but continued to live there. trying to help him out as much as possible financially. The long story short I moved out of state, but I have seen where he has been making new profiles saying he was a trained master. He is only a master of lies ......should I try to warn his next victims before they lose as much as I have

Post #: 1

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 3:30:02 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubnokc1

I met a man in 2008 at first we were not in a sub/dom relationship, He told me later he was a dom and that he had been trained under the house of Kim. I explored the lifestyle, but he was not a dominate. I worked he sat at the computer or took naps. For the past few years there was no intimacy at all. In April I caught him in a lie about finances and I broke up with him. I moved myself out of our bedroom, but continued to live there. trying to help him out as much as possible financially. The long story short I moved out of state, but I have seen where he has been making new profiles saying he was a trained master. He is only a master of lies ......should I try to warn his next victims before they lose as much as I have

Okay, here's tha thang...

There are two sides to every story, what you are telling here and what he has to say. Somewhere in between those two points... usually leaning one way or the other strongly, is the truth.

The problem is:

1. You could be nuts.
2. He could be nuts.
3. You could be vindictive as hell.
4. He could be exactly what you say.
5. You could have a dozen people back up your story.
6. he could have a dozen people back up his story.
7. You could be insanely jealous that he moved on.
8. You may have saved yourself from a terrible fate.

This list can get pretty long, but if you were isolated with him then it comes down to professing he is horrible and him professing that your a nut job.

We do not black ball on this site for the reasons listed above and a zillion other reasons I didn't list.

Your best option, providing you were not isolated and there are lifestyle people that were privy to your dynamic, is to allow them to intervene in the local community.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 2

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 3:45:25 PM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubnokc1

I met a man in 2008 at first we were not in a sub/dom relationship, He told me later he was a dom and that he had been trained under the house of Kim. I explored the lifestyle, but he was not a dominate. I worked he sat at the computer or took naps. For the past few years there was no intimacy at all. In April I caught him in a lie about finances and I broke up with him. I moved myself out of our bedroom, but continued to live there. trying to help him out as much as possible financially. The long story short I moved out of state, but I have seen where he has been making new profiles saying he was a trained master. He is only a master of lies ......should I try to warn his next victims before they lose as much as I have

It is possible to email whoever you wish to tell them what you've told us. However you are prohibited from profiling his name for the above reasons stated by ET.

As for what he may do. It is now out of your hands and any others should exercise more caution than you did. You should have confirmed his finances long ago.

Yes, one should always up front about all relationship possibilities and others should be too but it is buyer beware so to speak.

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 3

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 4:04:57 PM

newsubnokc1

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/18/2015
Status: offline

He is not on here I checked, and yes it is the perviable he said she said bull crap and I am pretty sure I do look crazy for putting up with his shit. I do have friends in the lifestyle that knows what was done, but he is a great con man and will probably do the same thing to someone else. I guess pretty much just let him continue to do what he is going to do and not worry about it

(in reply to MrRodgers)

Post #: 4

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 4:16:54 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

I'm going to encourage you to have your friends in your former community to intercept any future victims. Again, as long as they are privy to your dynamic and have seen the truth of it for themselves.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 5

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 5:26:34 PM

petitespot

Posts: 288
Joined: 7/3/2006
From: Surfside Beach, SC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubnokc1

I met a man in 2008 at first we were not in a sub/dom relationship, He told me later he was a dom and that he had been trained under the house of Kim. I explored the lifestyle, but he was not a dominate. I worked he sat at the computer or took naps. For the past few years there was no intimacy at all. In April I caught him in a lie about finances and I broke up with him. I moved myself out of our bedroom, but continued to live there. trying to help him out as much as possible financially. The long story short I moved out of state, but I have seen where he has been making new profiles saying he was a trained master. He is only a master of lies ......should I try to warn his next victims before they lose as much as I have

You should mind your own business.

_____________________________

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 6

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 6:05:34 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

Turn the page, OP. Getting hung up on him to the point of warning others about him sucks you back into the same old crap you just got away from.

(in reply to petitespot)

Post #: 7

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 6:19:37 PM

Kittenluv954

Posts: 237
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubnokc1

I met a man in 2008 at first we were not in a sub/dom relationship, He told me later he was a dom and that he had been trained under the house of Kim. I explored the lifestyle, but he was not a dominate. I worked he sat at the computer or took naps. For the past few years there was no intimacy at all. In April I caught him in a lie about finances and I broke up with him. I moved myself out of our bedroom, but continued to live there. trying to help him out as much as possible financially. The long story short I moved out of state, but I have seen where he has been making new profiles saying he was a trained master. He is only a master of lies ......should I try to warn his next victims before they lose as much as I have

i have asshole exes who are nothing but a cyclone of ill will towards women. hurtful men who have EVERY intention of continuing to be hurtful and harmful. do i think the world of women should know about them? sure. but it wont happen, unfortunately thats just part of the game. they will always find someone who doesnt see them coming, and will claim victim #36402518. life and relationships suck that way, and many women will flip your warning on you anyway. you deserved it, was your fault, hes an angel and shes so special he would never do that to HER.... until he does, and then they get it. they almost never hear what you have to say and run away screaming as they should. best to just move on with your life and leave it all in the past

< Message edited by Kittenluv954 -- 2/18/2015 6:24:03 PM >

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 8

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 6:24:28 PM

newsubnokc1

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/18/2015
Status: offline

You are very correct ......I heard the warnings from his family, and I remember thinking yes he lies to his children but he hasnt like to me......as long as he tells me the truth I will be fine. Until he was caught in a lie and then I was so sucked in it took a while to get out of his vortex. I am glad I am out, and I will never be in this position again.

(in reply to Kittenluv954)

Post #: 9

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 6:33:50 PM

Kittenluv954

Posts: 237
Joined: 3/18/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubnokc1

You are very correct ......I heard the warnings from his family, and I remember thinking yes he lies to his children but he hasnt like to me......as long as he tells me the truth I will be fine. Until he was caught in a lie and then I was so sucked in it took a while to get out of his vortex. I am glad I am out, and I will never be in this position again.

hehe well now you see that behavior is a warning sign, and you wont ignore it next time. this is good!

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 10

RE: How do I handle this - 2/18/2015 6:47:01 PM

PandoraFoxxx

Posts: 182
Joined: 1/3/2011
From: San Mateo, CA
Status: offline

Your intentions are good, but think of it this way: you could possibly be driving another woman further into his little web of lies by acting like the spiteful ex. He is manipulative, and manipulative people know nothing better than how to turn the tables back into their favor. Warning others will probably result in you actually helping him get laid. Keep your mouth and fingers busy with your own affairs. Its not your job to take care of anyone but yourself. Don't help the assholes bed the naive. If they're smart enough, they can figure it out and if they're not well, stupid people live with stupid choices and rarely realize it because, well, they're stupid.

(in reply to Kittenluv954)

Post #: 11

RE: How do I handle this - 2/19/2015 1:57:57 PM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

He might be someone else's perfect match.

We are each responsible for our own lives and our own relationships. You may have to just realize that, in this case, you may have been a poor judge of character and move on... with, hopefully, a lesson learned.

_____________________________

pronounced "VROOick"

(in reply to PandoraFoxxx)

Post #: 12

RE: How do I handle this - 2/19/2015 3:27:58 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

If I heard someone claim they were trained under the "House of.." I would be savvy enough to think WHAT A LOAD.

MYOB

People like this are out there to teach us a lesson if we need it. Though it is difficult for me to believe that people are still falling for this crap.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 13

RE: How do I handle this - 2/19/2015 3:30:01 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

Honestly I don't think there's anything you can do. Imagine if you got involved with someone, and soon after their ex contacted you warning to stay away. Would you take that ex seriously? Or would you think she was just crazy/bitter/jealous/whatever?

You're basically asking how to put yourself in the position of that ex. It won't work.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 14

RE: How do I handle this - 2/19/2015 3:59:52 PM

GoddessManko

Posts: 2257
Joined: 3/6/2013
From: Dante's Inferno
Status: offline

Yeaaaaa, never try to save an ex or another girl from an ex though honestly he sounds like a class A douche. Good riddance. If anything you can inform girls of what to look for when it comes to "bad Doms". This girl on fet wrote an amazing journal entry about her first Dom and what a Nice Guy he was until she was in his clutches. There are signs, symptoms and commonalities.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 2/19/2015 4:00:33 PM >

_____________________________

Happy consent is the name of the game. You are my perfect Mistress. - my collared.

http://submissivemale.blogspot.com/

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame.

(in reply to RockaRolla)

Post #: 15

RE: How do I handle this - 2/20/2015 12:29:18 AM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline

Why did you stay with him for years?

Imo, once you realise a new relationship isn't working, you get out. Was there always no play or did it gradually just tail off?

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 16

RE: How do I handle this - 2/21/2015 9:23:09 AM

newsubnokc1

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/18/2015
Status: offline

I stayed with him because I was stupid, I have learned a great deal with this situation.

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)

Post #: 17

RE: How do I handle this - 2/21/2015 1:26:21 PM

tiggerspoohbear

Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubnokc1

I stayed with him because I was stupid, I have learned a great deal with this situation.

You weren't stupid. You have a big heart & you trust people to be as honest as you are. You learned a hard lesson, hopefully one you won't repeat. I'm 52 now, started dating when I was 17. I didn't meet Mister Man until I was 50. We've now been living together for almost 2 yrs. In all those years I refused to date for over 15. Then I repeated history & ended up with men who were bad for me. Another break, and finally the right one for me.

I wouldn't change a thing. It took that journey to get me to where I am today. Don't get me wrong, there were some good times, but they were few & far between. Follow your heart but guard it also. This may sound contradictory, it's not. Until you find that special someone, you look after number 1, *YOU*. Nothing is owed to a stranger you just met. Orders or commands are ridiculous, be very wary should someone demand anything. You are 2 people meeting, not a D/s or M/s couple.

Best of luck to you. May you find who you're looking for.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 18

RE: How do I handle this - 2/22/2015 6:17:57 AM

newsubnokc1

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/18/2015
Status: offline

Right now I am not looking, nor do I think I will be in the future. I am trying to find out who I am without anyone having any type of opinions of this. I was hurt beyond beleif and even after the break up I still hoped to see the man I fell in love with emerge and I think that is the hardest part of this all. I was guliable to give everything to a man that didnt derserve any of it

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

Post #: 19

RE: How do I handle this - 2/22/2015 6:53:04 AM

PrairieBlues

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/9/2011
Status: offline

I believe there is nothing you can do to protect anyone else except yourself. If you try to, you'll only wind up reminding yourself constantly of the bad situation which you have left. And it will cause more drama back and forth. I think it's better to leave all this negativity behind and move on.

(in reply to newsubnokc1)

Post #: 20

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