Staying in touch with your sub

Staying in touch with your sub (Full Version)

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Supernova606 -> Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 2:46:24 AM)
I know there's no one answer to this but I am looking for opinions and/or examples. As a Dom, how often you do establish contact with your online/long distance sub: every few days, every couple of weeks, or just whenever you're at a loose end and want to get your kink on? Do you have the opposite view, that the sub should do the running, show their interest, make the contacts etc.

Lucylastic -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 4:07:37 AM)
I talk to him every day, emails on the days we have other committments. or text messages, phone calls or video cam If I only contacted him when ever Im just at a loose end and wanted to get my kink on, it wouldnt have lasted six months, Now I realise that my position is not one that most people have or even want, thats fine with me...but I have no intention of locating to be with him, or him with me, we will never be....together "forever" But he has been my sub for 17 years in april, hes been part of my life every day, and we visit each other when schedules allow. If he or I were the only "one" to do the running, show interest, or make contact....again it wouldnt have lasted six months. It very much depends on your "definition" of being a good dominant. Oh and both your needs. if it becomes a chore...you are doing it wrong just my two cents generic you

PrairieBlues -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 4:48:19 AM)
My master had been contacting me every day at first, and it slowly declined to first one day of no contact. Then two... three... no explanation other than he is "busy". I do not suppose that he has been steadily getting busier and busier, or if he really is getting so busy that he can't talk to me for days, then I don't think he has enough time for a slave, or for any relationship. I am about to declare him Missing In Action and walk away from him because I don't feel wanted or valued.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 4:56:42 AM)
Were I to get involved in an online situation, I don't believe it should be all the different from real life. I expect her to show some interest/initiative, also. In the early stages, she'd have to show just about all of it since online is not something I'm looking for. To build on that: I wouldn't even get involved in an online "relationship" unless one of us were relocatable, at some point. In other words: If we're not moving toward real time, it's not happening. All of that said, I believe that desire to communicate should go both ways. If either party detects a lack of interest, why would they continue? For me, if I don't want to communicate with someone at least every couple of days, I would just tell them that my interest level is dwindling and end it. Michael

Lucylastic -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 4:56:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrairieBlues My master had been contacting me every day at first, and it slowly declined to first one day of no contact. Then two... three... no explanation other than he is "busy". I do not suppose that he has been steadily getting busier and busier, or if he really is getting so busy that he can't talk to me for days, then I don't think he has enough time for a slave, or for any relationship. I am about to declare him Missing In Action and walk away from him because I don't feel wanted or valued. I cant say I blame you, now he may well be busy, but if you are seriously considering walking away, tell him and why:) Then you can do it with a "clear conscience". If he cant make time for you and thats what you need, hanging around longer is only goin to hurt more. Resentment is not a good basis for any relationship Good luck

SinFix -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 5:56:19 AM)
Not a master but from the other side of this... I don't like sporadic contact, it feels too much like manipulation and a lack of care/interest.. The usual rule is when someone is interested in you, they make the effort/time in you. So, if my tyrant was to just not get back to me, then I would start to lose interest quickly.. I find these kind of games childish, pointless and just not my cup of tea... Edited to add: If I am always the one to do all the "talking" again, to me that shows a lack of interest or pandering to me on their part and I will just walk away...

Kittenluv954 -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 6:01:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrairieBlues My master had been contacting me every day at first, and it slowly declined to first one day of no contact. Then two... three... no explanation other than he is "busy". I do not suppose that he has been steadily getting busier and busier, or if he really is getting so busy that he can't talk to me for days, then I don't think he has enough time for a slave, or for any relationship. I am about to declare him Missing In Action and walk away from him because I don't feel wanted or valued. sounds like a married man, or he moved on to other pursuits. these would be my first two inclinations.

DarkSteven -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 6:03:26 AM)
When I had online relationships, my rule was three contacts a week. Email, phone, chat windows, texting, whatever. Could I as a Dom initiate? Of course! Why would a Dom condemn himself to passivity because he thinks it should be a Dom's role?

SinFix -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 6:04:29 AM)
DS, Can I ask why only 3 contacts per week?

Greta75 -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 6:18:39 AM)
Questions like this is soo strange! If two people really like each other, they'll probably stay in contact everyday. It would be automatic and natural.

InHisHeart -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 6:24:27 AM)
We started out long distance and I travel often so there are times we are still apart for weeks (sometimes longer). When we're apart, we talk by phone every evening, we text a few times throughout the day, every day. I don't consider it 'putting forth the effort' because to me, it shouldn't be an effort if both people are interested, fully into the relationship and want it to work. When we were long distance, I was the one that did most of the traveling to see him because I was the one who had the unlimited time to travel and could stay for extended periods of time. If he did the traveling, it would only be for a week here and there.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 6:28:40 AM)
I'm in constant contact with My girl. We use every medium we have to maintain contact. She always contacts me first in the morning, due to her schedule, once her morning is settled and she has time to contact me, I get a "good morning" text from her that starts my day in happy mode. I'm not sure what direction or depth you're trying to take your dynamic, but ours is going to be 24/7 live in dynamic once our lives reach the point we can close the distance and she comes home. LDR is really hard, but all the effort is worth it, because if you are moving towards a 24/7 live in situation, you are already in flux with each other, and can settle into living together more fluidly. Jus sayin

SinFix -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 6:49:43 AM)
Or I text at 5 am his time to wake him up to say good morning.. Cause I'm considerate like that on a sunday morning, though I think he appreciates that I at least wait for a bit and not send it when I wake up...

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 6:52:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix Or I text at 5 am his time to wake him up to say good morning.. Cause I'm considerate like that on a sunday morning, though I think he appreciates that I at least wait for a bit and not send it when I wake up... If you slept it would be different [sm=couple.gif]

SinFix -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 7:23:37 AM)
[sm=whoa.gif]WHAAAAA!!! there is a thing called sleep... now my tyrant tells me..

DaddySatyr -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 7:28:42 AM)
Sleep is for mere mortals. Ya feel me? Michael

SinFix -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 7:33:32 AM)
[sm=whoa.gif] WHAAAA!!! I'm not a mere mortal either.. it's a D conspiracy..

InHisHeart -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 7:40:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix [sm=whoa.gif]WHAAAAA!!! there is a thing called sleep... now my tyrant tells me.. I'm thinking sleep must be a Dom thing. The boss is always telling me I need to sleep but I haven't figured out what this thing called sleep is.

SinFix -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 7:45:13 AM)
I concur.. I think we s types need to confer more on this and see what is exactly up with this "sleep" and why it has been taken away from us...

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Staying in touch with your sub (2/22/2015 7:57:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix I concur.. I think we s types need to confer more on this and see what is exactly up with this "sleep" and why it has been taken away from us... There shall be no conspiracies perpetrated by the /s types. That is all (notice my use of the "that is all" because it burns right through everyone... shit, it may cause an uprising)

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