vivaciousgrace
Posts: 45
Joined: 12/13/2014
Status: offline
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An ex partner had some serious conflict between what he enjoyed in the bedroom and what he felt he *should* enjoy.
We went into that relationship with BDSM involved.
But he would go through phases of not wanting that because its "not normal" and his friends openly refered to "BDSM freaks" in conversation and then wanting it again, and then not wanting it...
I couldn't keep up with his desires much less decide on where I wanted to be in relation to them!!
I decided I wanted to be with someone who could make his own mind up and didn't need validation from a bunch of lads at the pub!
Honestly I prefer to have BDSM in my relationships, I find the sex life doesn't satisfy me without it, so i would be literally providing a service to the other person. I couldn't be in a relationship that does not meet my needs. For this reason I have very little experience of vanilla. However the BDSM practices themselves and how far we go with that depend on each partner and some who started out with very mild play have changed their minds over time, and vice versa, and I am happy to accommodate that.
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RE: (In)compatibility between partners - 
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