quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

I've heard this same general concept from a multitude of Dominants and I just don't get it. I guess I have too much of a black & white concept of good & bad, being nice or mean, love & hate, etc. To me, love & hate and nice & mean are such polar opposites that I see that there are very distinct ways to demonstrate each of these emotions and it would be very difficult for anyone to confuse one for the other.

Yes...there are "pain sluts" and to someone who doesn't like pain, the idea of receiving ANY type of pain goes against their accepted definition of love. Even though for the pain slut it IS love.

I can understand the physical concept of these things....even if that's not the way I am. I know that there are masochists out there who actually ENJOY physical pain, and that's great for them and I don't question that.

What I don't understand are some of the more mental/emotional things. For instance, someone I was talking to recently has the following on his profile:


"I practice the principle of HARD: honor, accountability, responsibility and duty."

"I seek a female that chooses to be a lesser vessel; to be loved, cared for and led by a man. I believe that men should function as the Head of Household (HOH) and that women are to be taken in hand and led as such."

Yet in conversation with him he also told me that the slave he takes needs to understand and accept that she will (status wise) be nothing more than a "3-way cum receptacle". That way, if she can maintain that state of mind and mental status, she will have a greater appreciation for the times when she is not treated as such.

But for me, I can't see the concept of "3-way cum receptacle" being the PRIMARY tone of the relationship while at the same time there is "honor, accountability, responsibility and duty" and being "loved and cared for" by the same person who sees my as that receptacle.

I think I don't have problem understanding and accepting the idea of a Master loving and caring for his masochist slave because physical pain for the slave isn't the primary tone of the relationship on a daily basis. Sure, the slave may be given *some* type of physical pain every day, but is it the main way the Master sees his slave....just as something to beat, pinch, stab or cut?

How does a Master love and care for something he sees as no more than a 3-way cum receptacle?

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

To me they are not seeing the person as two different things, they are seeing one person and loving them two separate ways..

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

How does a Master love and care for something he sees as no more than a 3-way cum receptacle?

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ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant



Is any part of this something you are trying to assimilate into your dynamic?

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ORIGINAL: SinFix

To me they are not seeing the person as two different things, they are seeing one person and loving them two separate ways..

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I can see saying it the other way. That his partner will be loved and cared for except during play when all he wants is a cum receptacle.

But presenting it as she's always valueless except for those rare occasions when there will be role play treating her as important makes me raise an eyebrow.

Because if the vast majority of the time she is valueless than all his pretty words about honor and love and care is bullshit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I can see pain, sexual objectification and female subjugation as part of a loving, respectful, honourable relationship **if those kinks are part of the submissive's fetishes** and they are carried out in a safe, sane and consensual way.

If they are not her kinks, and if the submissive cannot grow to accept them, they are likely to be seen as unwanted, unpleasant, degrading and demoralising. It's a question of compatibility.

There is also the issue that some Doms are full of shit. So, yanno, pick whichever explanation seems most appropriate lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

HisDarlingDoll I have been reading a lot of your responses and you are just rocking the forum! Welcome and enjoy the boards!

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: orgasmdenial12

I can see pain, sexual objectification and female subjugation as part of a loving, respectful, honourable relationship **if those kinks are part of the submissive's fetishes** and they are carried out in a safe, sane and consensual way.

If they are not her kinks, and if the submissive cannot grow to accept them, they are likely to be seen as unwanted, unpleasant, degrading and demoralising. It's a question of compatibility.

There is also the issue that some Doms are full of shit. So, yanno, pick whichever explanation seems most appropriate lol.

I can see those things as part of loving, respectful, honorable relationship too. But I don't know if I can see them as the ONLY part or even PRIMARY part.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisDarlingDoll

this resonates with me, highly.

i think someone above made a great point---if being a 3 way cum receptacle is what the submissive/slave needs/desires, then absolutely, it's showing love in 2 separate ways.

for instance, i crave being used. straight up, used. 3 way cum receptacle would certainly be quite an accurate description of my cravings--and i'm a pain slut. so, yes, Master shows me love when i'm used in those ways. i also crave safety, protection and sweet, sweet affection...and that is very challenging for me to admit, i might add, and He knows it. i think this is when it's most beneficial for a Master to TRULY be in tuned with His slave, to truly know her inside and out, to give her what treatment she NEEDS at any given time, even if it's not what she "wants." at that time.

so my answer is yes, it is possible, and probably quite desired for said slave to be both a useless cum slut, as well as a respected and well-loved slave.