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D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 4:38:06 PM   
subdelicious


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		i've enjoyed reading the posts and learning from all of you.  i do see a many posts, though, that mention D/s relationships and painful acts. (ex. "needles through nipples")

my question, if you will:

Can a D/s relationship be successful without the painful play?

Maybe i just have a lot to learn yet.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 4:42:14 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:



my question, if you will:

Can a D/s relationship be successful without the painful play?



Absolutely. S/m and D/s are mutually exclusive though they can hold hands very well for those that wish to join them together.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to subdelicious)
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RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 4:44:09 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subdelicious

Can a D/s relationship be successful without the painful play?

Maybe i just have a lot to learn yet.


Yes.......

and we all do!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to subdelicious)
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RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 4:48:52 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:



my question, if you will:

Can a D/s relationship be successful without the painful play?



Absolutely. S/m and D/s are mutually exclusive though they can hold hands very well for those that wish to join them together.

Celeste
Couldn't have put it better myself.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 4:50:40 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subdelicious

i've enjoyed reading the posts and learning from all of you.  i do see a many posts, though, that mention D/s relationships and painful acts. (ex. "needles through nipples")

my question, if you will:

Can a D/s relationship be successful without the painful play?

Maybe i just have a lot to learn yet.


Pain has almost no place in the way we do D/s. We have occasional individuals whom we reward with some form of pain-play, but it is not in the context of the type of D/s that we do... it is more an individual reward, like some are rewarded with chocolate, others with access to our library. Likewise, though there are incidents of humiliation and other types of activities that are oriented towards sensation of mind or body, most of what we deal with is much more... etherial, I'd say -- it is about the yielding of the spirit and the offering up of the person, rather than individual acts.

We are service oriented, and strive for the expansion of the person through deep yielding to the process of submission. For us, the service is primary, and everything else is strictly individual. In direct answer to the OP's question -- yes, for us, D/s can survive perfectly well without pain play, though only for individuals who share our idea of what D/s success means.

ZWD

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to subdelicious)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 5:00:57 PM   
ravn


Posts: 328
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		pain is a personal preference.
D/s is about a power dynamic, ::power:: and not ::pain::
D/s and S&M go well together, it's true, but yeah, it's nice to have some nights where i'm merely curled up at Master's feet.


_____________________________

Masochism is a valuable job skill.
Chuck Palahniuk
Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.
~Proverb ( bring on the tyranny!)

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
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RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 7:11:04 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		D/s is whatever the two decide it is, in THEIR particular relationship...Tempting

(in reply to ravn)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 7:25:12 PM   
Sasy


Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I agree D/s and S/M Dont have to  go  hand in hand

(in reply to subdelicious)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 8:41:20 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subdelicious

i've enjoyed reading the posts and learning from all of you.  i do see a many posts, though, that mention D/s relationships and painful acts. (ex. "needles through nipples")

my question, if you will:

Can a D/s relationship be successful without the painful play?

Maybe i just have a lot to learn yet.


Yes, a D/s relationship can be successful without pain.  It can be successful without BDSM at all, if the people involved so choose.  It's what fits you best.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to subdelicious)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 9:44:18 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subdelicious

my question, if you will:

Can a D/s relationship be successful without the painful play?


Ofcourse it can work. It just wouldn't be as much fun for me. However, in just D/s, decisions and using the word "No" can be painful at times and may cause the submissive to pout. 

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 11:25:55 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Its a menu, order only what you want.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/14/2006 11:38:02 PM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		You can have your Shirley Temple with or without extra sugar... any way you want, it's your's. 


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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: D/s = Pain? - 7/15/2006 12:46:47 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subdelicious

Can a D/s relationship be successful without the painful play?

Maybe i just have a lot to learn yet.


Sure it can.

But then again, I'm a sadist.  What would be the point?

*WEG*
YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to subdelicious)
Profile   Post #: 13
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