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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/6/2015 1:36:07 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

i think sales is a pretty D type profession. it takes a lot of resources to keep it "turned on" enough to deal with people all day. overcoming objections, pushing that motivational envelope, leading sales teams, projecting markets, staying self disciplined enough to keep at that grindstone every day.... it takes a lot.

That's all true but in sales you are always at the mercy of the buyers final decision. In sales you are always someones servant.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/6/2015 5:19:35 AM

AlabamaPrincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It's almost axiomatic that the more responsibility a person has in daily life, the more they need to have a vacation from that at home. I've known several CEOs and other very high executives and a couple of heads of state. Almost all of them didn't want to have to make decisions at home. They wanted their tastes catered to, but otherwise were fine if their spouse decided which restaurant to go to or who to invite to dinner, what color to redecorate, etc.

Yep, that's how things work around here. His job is constant decisions, constant pressure, etc. When He comes home, I'm the one who makes the call. Dinner, TV, weekend activities, etc. He has no worries when it comes to things around here and that means more US time, and more fun! lol

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/6/2015 5:22:40 AM

Kittenluv954

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

i think sales is a pretty D type profession. it takes a lot of resources to keep it "turned on" enough to deal with people all day. overcoming objections, pushing that motivational envelope, leading sales teams, projecting markets, staying self disciplined enough to keep at that grindstone every day.... it takes a lot.

That's all true but in sales you are always at the mercy of the buyers final decision. In sales you are always someones servant.

technically though, thats ANY job. unless someone found a product or service that doesnt rely on people to buy it...

< Message edited by Kittenluv954 -- 3/6/2015 5:23:14 AM >

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/6/2015 9:17:33 AM

kdsub

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Like me... you top from the bottom... there is no such thing as submission in reality of true BDSM. How are you submitting when your Dom is doing exactly what you want and demand they do to remain in a relationship?

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/6/2015 12:20:21 PM

orgasmdenial12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Like me... you top from the bottom... there is no such thing as submission in reality of true BDSM. How are you submitting when your Dom is doing exactly what you want and demand they do to remain in a relationship?

Butch

Simple, I make sure I do the things he wants me to do, that I dislike. The more I hate it, the more gleeful he looks, the more I know who exactly is getting pleased in this relationship :-)

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/6/2015 2:56:06 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Like me... you top from the bottom... there is no such thing as submission in reality of true BDSM. How are you submitting when your Dom is doing exactly what you want and demand they do to remain in a relationship?

Butch

Or you pick someone who likes the same things you do, which means you both get your needs met without trying to manipulate each other.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/7/2015 1:20:59 AM

eulero83

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

i think sales is a pretty D type profession. it takes a lot of resources to keep it "turned on" enough to deal with people all day. overcoming objections, pushing that motivational envelope, leading sales teams, projecting markets, staying self disciplined enough to keep at that grindstone every day.... it takes a lot.

That's all true but in sales you are always at the mercy of the buyers final decision. In sales you are always someones servant.

I reply to MariaB because she introduced the point I was going to do but this is a fast reply

I think life is more complicated than a D/s relationship and you simply can't label people so strichtly they are more complicated than their bdsm roles. MariaB made the example for Kittenluv954's case but in the end everyone has someone on top of him, power is not a linear structure outside the military, even Obama has to lick his financier's assholes from time to time.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/7/2015 1:24:35 AM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Like me... you top from the bottom... there is no such thing as submission in reality of true BDSM. How are you submitting when your Dom is doing exactly what you want and demand they do to remain in a relationship?

Butch

Oh. Wow. No. Just no.

If by saying "doing exactly what you want," you mean, "creating a better relationship and lifestyle for you on a daily, ongoing basis, which will also include things that you do not want to do, but that you know will improve you and your life (either for you or with your Dom) over time," then, sure, I'll agree with you.

If you really mean topping from the bottom, then it seems to me you do not submit or choose partners that can inspire that in you.

And that's OK.

Just don't suggest that's how everyone behaves/thinks.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/7/2015 1:33:32 AM

DerangedUnit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

i think sales is a pretty D type profession. it takes a lot of resources to keep it "turned on" enough to deal with people all day. overcoming objections, pushing that motivational envelope, leading sales teams, projecting markets, staying self disciplined enough to keep at that grindstone every day.... it takes a lot.

That's all true but in sales you are always at the mercy of the buyers final decision. In sales you are always someones servant.

I think most people with a sales background learn to 'choose their targets' I could easily tell which customers I could could make could make a sale with.... which would make it easy, which would want talk and get their social contact for the day, which would know the game... and which people just wanted to be assholes because they thought you had to deal with it. Needless to say sales is a lot like dating... there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you don't like what you have to do to make a sale.... you don't do it. It it's very exhausting being the source of energy constantly though.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/7/2015 6:39:08 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

I had a discussion with someone which kind of led me to wonder - how do powerful people (in real life, say professionally) cope with their wishes to be submissive? I understand some might say its a bedroom only thing, but then again there are people who want to live this life 24x7 as a TPE, yet they are caught up in high positions of responsibility and regard at well-known organizations. Putting aside the obvious fears of exposure and shame, how would someone like that live their lives? Would he / she have to sacrifice one for the other?

It's not at all easy.

In my case I'm known exceptionally well regionally, somewhat well internationally and less than moderately globally.

In most cases, I simply don't expose myself in any way publicly and sadly, date very little, for fear of the obvious.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 11:12:58 AM

DesFIP

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Lookie, you said that women known to be sub are considered sexy. But that's not what you want to be thought of at work. Sub women are viewed as easy. They aren't viewed as powerful people who can close a deal or be trusted with control of a project.

Nobody should be viewed on the job through the lens of their sexuality. Everybody loses.

As far as you being unable to date because being seen holding her chair for her would make you be seen as a wimp? I call bs. Unless you're a NFL player or a boxer. that's not the case.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 12:46:23 PM

DerangedUnit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Lookie, you said that women known to be sub are considered sexy. But that's not what you want to be thought of at work. Sub women are viewed as easy. They aren't viewed as powerful people who can close a deal or be trusted with control of a project.

That may be the case in a corporate office setting (my mother was a ceo who got fired for getting pregnant) but I don't think it translates in all professions....in sales environments it's often seen of as beneficial.... at least in my jobs. My softer side is very obvious, most of my bosses naturally start calling me girl, immediately step in if a customer is rude, open doors... but they also give me the most responsibility, include me in meetings only for management, look to me for assistance when a task comes up outside of my job description. And that was never from asking for more responsibility or telling someone I was more competent than they treated me. They simply noticed that things got done when I was around. You can be seen as both submissive and the best worker.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 1:08:51 PM

Nitewing0001

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First off being submissive does not mean you are necessarily submissive to everyone. Too many people associate being submissive with being weak or shy. There are many Alpha type submissives out there.

Many submissives choose to only be submissive to one person. But to everyone else they can be very Dominant. This is not uncommon and you actually hear it in the news a lot with high profile politicians/lawyers etc.

This is how I am. I am extremely dominant at work and play. But to that one special person I will willingly give up that control :)

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 1:16:02 PM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitewing0001

First off being submissive does not mean you are necessarily submissive to everyone. Too many people associate being submissive with being weak or shy. There are many Alpha type submissives out there.

Many submissives choose to only be submissive to one person. But to everyone else they can be very Dominant. This is not uncommon and you actually hear it in the news a lot with high profile politicians/lawyers etc.

This is how I am. I am extremely dominant at work and play. But to that one special person I will willingly give up that control :)

Precisely, with applied thought one can see the sabotage in such an approach anyway.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 2:59:33 PM

DesFIP

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Deranged: letting your softer side out is one thing. Telling people you like to be tied and spanked is something else. Or are you saying you've made your sexual orientation and preferred play style perfectly clear to your bosses?

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 4:48:55 PM

DerangedUnit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Deranged: letting your softer side out is one thing. Telling people you like to be tied and spanked is something else. Or are you saying you've made your sexual orientation and preferred play style perfectly clear to your bosses?

No I dont tell people im into bdsm, though I often have worn collars to work. But play isnt different from my normal personality, I am the same whether im trying to convince a guy his wife wants that $100 perfume or getting a spanking, whether im taking the timing chain out of a jeep or playing arm candy. I dont turn it on or off, im always just me.... I dont think ive ever told anyone I like to be tied and spanked... but doms still come up and talk to me when im out at the store, or taking a walk...

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 9:36:50 PM

DesFIP

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I don't know how you knew they were dominant in their interpersonal relationships. Not being a mind reader, the most I can say is that someone has energy which feels dominant to me but that doesn't mean he has negotiated being in charge with his gf.

And the fact that you are the same, being your authentic self in all of your endeavors, is not the same as telling people that your partner gets to punish you if you don't shave completely or forget to give him his morning bj. Personally I disapprove of sharing info at work that will upset others. And in most workplaces if your coworker really doesn't want to listen to your scene reports, you will be in hot water with HR for creating a hostile work environment.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 10:03:52 PM

seekingreality

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

i think sales is a pretty D type profession. it takes a lot of resources to keep it "turned on" enough to deal with people all day. overcoming objections, pushing that motivational envelope, leading sales teams, projecting markets, staying self disciplined enough to keep at that grindstone every day.... it takes a lot.

That's all true but in sales you are always at the mercy of the buyers final decision. In sales you are always someones servant.

Not really. In a healthy relationship, sales is about providing what someone needs -- it's not servant/master -- is about two sides helping each other. And sometimes the seller turns the buyer down.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/8/2015 10:07:50 PM

DerangedUnit

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? I don't understand why you are assuming the determination factor in a relationship is what type of play they partake in. I don't think anyone talks about sex with their partner at work whether or not they are involved in bdsm, I worked for porn sites (not as talent) and the people that worked there never talked about their personal see lives.... so the association makes no sense. One can still have a behavior that leans towards dominance/submission that other people see... it is a personality trait not what you do in the bedroom. For instance, a man gave me a 20 dollar tip after I finished his transaction and asked if I needed a sponsor with a wink, another told me he was a dog trainer and after we talked about dogs for a bit he made a joke about training people. In neither case was sex ever discussed, but they were trying to hint at knowing what I was. People who are gay don't go into work and say "I take it up the butt" you can usually still tell who is gay. Jeez people telling their bosses when they give head lol that wouldn't just get you fired that would get you assulted.

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RE: Submission for powerful people - 3/9/2015 5:39:46 AM

AlabamaPrincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nitewing0001

First off being submissive does not mean you are necessarily submissive to everyone. Too many people associate being submissive with being weak or shy. There are many Alpha type submissives out there.

Many submissives choose to only be submissive to one person. But to everyone else they can be very Dominant. This is not uncommon and you actually hear it in the news a lot with high profile politicians/lawyers etc.

This is how I am. I am extremely dominant at work and play. But to that one special person I will willingly give up that control :)

Well said. I'm very Alpha to everyone except Him. Nobody gets to see that side, even though my friends know it's there. In jobs I've had in the past, if someone asked about my collar (Why do you wear that all the time?) then I'll explain it gently. But, I don't go around talking about my home life to folks. I'm like Deranged, typically I can tell if someone is naturally Dom or sub, but that doesn't mean they act on it in their relationships and unless they bring it up to me, I leave it alone.

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