ResidentSadist
Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
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ORIGINAL: Marini
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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Unfortunately, no. . .
Great post as usual RS.
After reading this, many people should be "glad" that the person they were supposed to meet did not show.
I would venture to guess that many "no shows", are not anyone that they would want to meet anyway.
If you are that "put off", frightened, unsure, or whatever, who wants to meet you anyway?
I am often glad when people disappear, run-away, or flake off early, so that I wasted less time dealing with them.
I suspect a lot of no shows are because they are just harboring a passing sexual fantasy, not a real desire. When faced with the reality of face to face meeting, they just can't do it. I'm reaching a bit with this example but . . . a Domme friend got tired of all the castration fantasies she was getting from some Yahoo group. So she would says yes. Then tell them that she has a sadistic friend (me) that would be glad to do it while she supervises and stuck them on the phone with me. I would ask them if they wanted to be iced down, anesthetized on go cold turkey so they could sacrifice their balls and their to their Mistress as a gift. I would ask about what kind of closures they wanted and if they thought they could properly maintain the aftercare of surgical staples . . . yup, faced with the reality of a guy they believed would really cut their balls off shut them up in a hurry. I think I ruined about 3 or 4 guys wet dreams.
So when fantasies meet reality, those without a true desire and are just harboring a passing sexual whim, they go running for the hills.
I don't think this is just about this particular lifestyle, per se.
I haven't experienced a no-show in quite a while until recently, but I think it's a matter of time invested, before a meeting is set up. For me, I insist upon some kind of vocal communication. This isn't for "verification". This is because I find I get a better feel for someone (if they're really on-board, if they may not be entirely honest, etc.), if I can hear their voice. There is too much possibility of deception, when using a text medium. Also, there are so many nuances of vocal communication that add more information to the mix (is the person sarcastic? Very quite?).
On rare occasions, when I can be persuaded to do so, I will not set aside more than 30 minutes (including driving time) to meet with someone with whom I haven't spoken. This has worked out very well for me.
As for all the people that treat voice communication as "the holiest of holies"? Two thoughts that I have found to be true:
A) They are "time wasters" (I think it could be chalked up to fear or, as RS stated; the reality smacking them in the face)
2) If they value their voice, that much where they're going to make me jump through hoops to hear it, they're probably not a very good match for me (because that's the first of many hoops through which they'll be expecting me to jump).
Michael
I agree. Investing a little time in a couple of calls is always a good bet. I don't want to meet someone I know nothing about. I have to talk to them and the chemistry has be what makes me want to meet them in person. The nuances in someones voice are very telling and can either turn me on or put me off. I don't want to drag out weeks or months worth of chatting. But, I like to have a few phone calls and ask "20 questions". If there is chemistry and 20 questions shows common interests, goals and no red flags, then we meet.
I have noticed in the 20 questions that if who they say they are doesn't line up with what they have done or where they want to go, they are probably just chasing a fantasy. It's not something that has been or is currently part of their life. The newbee with light slap and tickle BDSM experience and a few months D/s who now wants to be a "true" slave 24/7 with extreme S&M tortures from a sadistic Master is probably a bad bet. Who knows what they will want to be next month... a fireman, an astronaut or a vanilla housewife? If they have no self awareness, they usually don't have the prowess to be aware of you needs too.
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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.
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RE: Time Wasters - 
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