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m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 1:30:47 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

Also people need to stop comparing male subs to female subs, it is a totally, totally different ballgame here. I wouldn't know where to begin.

I thought this was a rather strange claim, thoughts?

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 3:22:09 AM

NookieNotes

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Well, in some cases, that may be so. In others, I find humans in general to be refreshingly similar, deep down. Mammals, even.

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 5:47:27 AM

shiftyw

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I don't know. I suppose they have differences- but I feel each person I'm with is very different despite common themes.
I've never found the "one size fits all" something that applies.

However I think the two genders can be very similar- but to me, each person is a different ball game...

But I'm not a domme?

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 6:02:59 AM

Miyani

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I mean, CBT is a lot more difficult on the ladies?

Otherwise, people are people regardless of their genital arrangement, in my experience. As Shifty so brilliantly put it, it's the PERSON who is the different ball game, not their gender.

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 8:38:53 AM

GoddessManko

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I vouch for not starting threads based on my quotes anymore but seriously feel free. I'm sure you have gathered by now that I trust my judgement before anyone else's, LOL.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/12/2015 8:39:59 AM >

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 9:20:09 AM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

Also people need to stop comparing male subs to female subs, it is a totally, totally different ballgame here. I wouldn't know where to begin.

I thought this was a rather strange claim, thoughts?

The only difference I have ever seen that stands between the genders is their numbers. There has always been a horny hetro male sub stereotype with a larger presence on the scene than their horny female counterparts. Hence the presence of more pro pay for play Femdommes than pro male Doms. On the gay scene, not so much difference. So a young hetro horny toad seeking no strings encounters for free will have a harder time finding a partner than a young horny hetro female.

But I fail to see how that would be grounds for comparison between the "ballgame" for submissives of any gender or sexual preference... unless the "ballgame" means the act of getting in the game by the dating pool availability. But even then, a good s-type of either gender with a sincere passion for leather never goes for too long without a partner if they make themselves available to the community.

If the "ballgame" isn't just about who has a harder time getting laid, but it's about BDSM, leather and the s-type's role . . . their interactions, protocols, duties, responsibilities, scope and depth of service in the wide variety of encounter and relationship options, well then there is no difference. I been doin' this shit since 1971 . . . and when I was younger I had both male and female slaves. In fact, the crowd I hung with felt that if you couldn't accept service from a slave of either gender, it was because you weren't really into leather, you were into sex. They felt if your sexual preferences outweighed your ability to accept service in your role as Master, you were sex-centric not leather-centric. To them a good slave was a good slave, gender irrelevant.

Whether it's the horny male stereotype seeking a cruel Mistress or Gay Master for purely physical kink-centric BDSM encounters or a male sub seeking a romantic and protocol rich D/s relationship partner, there is an identical female stereotype like the horny housewife looking for a cruel sadistic Master, the dungeon bunny seeking a wicked Top or the subby looking for The One to share a leather love life.

It's always been exactly the same "ballgame", male, female, gay or straight once you're in the game . . . just different genitalia. Whomever said otherwise seems to have a self inflated chauvinistic gender bias.

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 9:21:54 AM

GoddessManko

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Also to point out the sheer hypocrisy and dishonesty of this thread. How many "Submission 101" classes and books are out there pandering to female subs. Or male ProDoms and FinDoms? YAWN! cbt, cuckolding, foot worship and queening are definitely the same ball game. *Eye rollsssssssss* LMAO!

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/12/2015 9:30:34 AM >

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 9:31:36 AM

shiftyw

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I mean as a bi sub, I can tell you- queening is still a part of it. I know plenty of cuck queens.

I mean CBT is akin to pussy torture is it not?

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 9:34:48 AM

GoddessManko

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How sweet shifty and then there's all these events to also teach you "how to sub" or you'd be perfectly lost right? Sure, sure, lmfao!

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 9:42:37 AM

ResidentSadist

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I have only had 1 cup of coffee so far today, but I did just notice you have a talking pussy for an avatar and it tells stories. Somehow this doesn't surprise me and I can only imagine what stories it would tell! I say this with all respect and love for your . . . um . . . well . . . someone take my shovel away before I dig this hole any deeper!

Love ya'

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 9:49:28 AM

GoddessManko

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LOL RS!!!! Ya know I love ya too babe.

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 10:06:10 AM

shiftyw

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I don't want to argue, and I don't really care. I also don't think I remember the context of this quote and didn't realize it was going to open a shitstorm by responding to this thread, because I didn't realize this quote was you.

I have 0 idea what you are talking about as far as educational events are concerned...

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 10:20:22 AM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I have 0 idea what you are talking about as far as educational events are concerned...

Good point doll, and no argument from me.

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 10:54:47 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Also to point out the sheer hypocrisy and dishonesty of this thread.

How so? If someone says not to do something I tend to want to know why, how is that dishonest?

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
How many "Submission 101" classes and books are out there pandering to female subs. Or male ProDoms and FinDoms? YAWN! cbt, cuckolding, foot worship and queening are definitely the same ball game. *Eye rollsssssssss* LMAO!

I don't think some of that, especially the anatomical stuff even came up in the other discussion. You were critical of comparisons being made and didn't really justify why. Certainly the people making those comparisons considered them to be valid, when you demand that we stop I think it reasonable to expect more than simply your fiat be given as justification.

So can you take a minute, organize your thoughts and come up with an argument that does not rely upon name calling or emotional coercion to prop it up?

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 11:18:39 AM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Also to point out the sheer hypocrisy and dishonesty of this thread.

How so? If someone says not to do something I tend to want to know why, how is that dishonest?

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
How many "Submission 101" classes and books are out there pandering to female subs. Or male ProDoms and FinDoms? YAWN! cbt, cuckolding, foot worship and queening are definitely the same ball game. *Eye rollsssssssss* LMAO!

I don't think some of that, especially the anatomical stuff even came up in the other discussion. You were critical of comparisons being made and didn't really justify why. Certainly the people making those comparisons considered them to be valid, when you demand that we stop I think it reasonable to expect more than simply your fiat be given as justification.

So can you take a minute, organize your thoughts and come up with an argument that does not rely upon name calling or emotional coercion to prop it up?

Really, you don't get why you trying to ask "why is it male and female subs are different" even though there are Submission 101 classes for one side of the gender and not the other? Even though there is a difference in approach by female Dominants statistically vs Male Doms? Even though there is a difference in fetish preferences eg cucking? Really? LOL, and you actually think this is capable of eliciting emotion from me? I'm only wasting time here since I'm ready rather early for my appointment, lmao. Some of us live for things outside this forum hon.
Honestly these sad and sordid attempts to try to "discredit someone" look really futile and desperate at this point. By the way, after my "Domination 101" class today is my "How to pour milk into a bowl of cereal" class, in case anyone was wondering.

< Message edited by GoddessManko -- 3/12/2015 11:21:36 AM >

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 11:21:59 AM

littleladybug

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My thoughts on this is that it's an idea that I've been trying to figure out since I signed on here. Prior to coming here, I had not been aware that this even was an issue. As I've seen this issue crop up, I've tried to understand it, as best I can from my own perspective.

Taking sheer numbers out of it, I'm having trouble understanding how there is such a diametric difference in a male sub and a female sub looking for a long term relationship.

Starting by taking the myriad threads regarding "how to find a Mistress".

What is the first suggestion usually given? Treat her as a person first, and not as a fetish-delivery system.

I certainly cannot speak for all fem subs, but yeah, this fem sub can fully agree with that sentiment. And, if a thread came up regarding how to find a "fem sub", I would certainly give that same advice.

Now comes the next step regarding compatibility. Is this where the difference comes between male and female subs? I'm not asking this flippantly, I'm seriously interested.

Again, not speaking for all fem subs, but this fem sub finds this portion of the "getting to know you" process as extremely individual between the parties involved. I have found that it is up to me and my potential partner to decide the parameters of our relationship-- both "kinky" and otherwise. Sure, there are books that have been written and scads of people simply thinking that they *know* how this process "should go", but I have yet to see a definitive manual for M/f relationships. Is there one for F/m relationships? (Again, not flippant, seriously interested in the answer to this.)

Is this where the distinction lies between the genders? Is there something that male subs *should be* doing in this process that is not the same for their female counterparts?

I'm honestly interested in this, just from an understanding standpoint.

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 11:28:48 AM

shiftyw

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Can I ask to be directed to the original post quoted?

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 11:33:39 AM

GoddessManko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

My thoughts on this is that it's an idea that I've been trying to figure out since I signed on here. Prior to coming here, I had not been aware that this even was an issue. As I've seen this issue crop up, I've tried to understand it, as best I can from my own perspective.

Taking sheer numbers out of it, I'm having trouble understanding how there is such a diametric difference in a male sub and a female sub looking for a long term relationship.

Starting by taking the myriad threads regarding "how to find a Mistress".

What is the first suggestion usually given? Treat her as a person first, and not as a fetish-delivery system.

I certainly cannot speak for all fem subs, but yeah, this fem sub can fully agree with that sentiment. And, if a thread came up regarding how to find a "fem sub", I would certainly give that same advice.

Now comes the next step regarding compatibility. Is this where the difference comes between male and female subs? I'm not asking this flippantly, I'm seriously interested.

Again, not speaking for all fem subs, but this fem sub finds this portion of the "getting to know you" process as extremely individual between the parties involved. I have found that it is up to me and my potential partner to decide the parameters of our relationship-- both "kinky" and otherwise. Sure, there are books that have been written and scads of people simply thinking that they *know* how this process "should go", but I have yet to see a definitive manual for M/f relationships. Is there one for F/m relationships? (Again, not flippant, seriously interested in the answer to this.)

Is this where the distinction lies between the genders? Is there something that male subs *should be* doing in this process that is not the same for their female counterparts?

I'm honestly interested in this, just from an understanding standpoint.

To be quite frank, it's like you said. A lot of these things are common sense but if we say that we remove the profitability from the whole "secret formula" aspect of things. Male subs are indoctrinated with this idea that they need to "prepare for submission" or do "xy and z" to submit or wait for the magical fairy Domme to come along while the whole time it's a matter of deciding "this is what will make me happy, this is what will make my Mistress happy and therefore this is why I serve." That's all there is to it. There's no list of kinks or bells and whistles, it's just making a decision to commit. But then again that's tongue in cheek to point out because again, the profitability on one side vs the other. Really didn't wanna go there but oh well!

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 11:53:48 AM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
There's no list of kinks or bells and whistles, it's just making a decision to commit.

Sure sounds like my view of things.

And, well, shit, the "profitability" thing. Ever read profiles or posts from fem subs asking about "training"? From reading these, it sure seems to me that there is a belief out there that a fem sub needs to be "X, Y or Z" in order to be a "good sub". Or, she needs to be "trained" in order to "be prepared to be a good sub" for someone.

As long as there is profit in it, whether monetarily or otherwise, there will be people to exploit it.

I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it again. I was "indoctrinated" to believe that a sub must be a masochist, or at least tolerate pain if it made her partner happy. I consider myself a relatively intelligent person, but it did take me quite a long time to understand that this is BS. This wasn't a "submission 101" class, it just came from being around people who, at the end of the day, simply thought differently than I did.

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RE: m f comparisions - 3/12/2015 12:06:42 PM

DesFIP

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How many women announce they are lowly worms? Or insist all their partners wear one item of clothing all the time, no matter how impractical?
The men are much more likely to be a true fetishist, meaning requiring some object that could be wielded or worn by any female in order to be aroused.

There's a lot of similarities and a lot of differences, As always, the devil is in the detail.

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