quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

I've been known to turn away guys two or more counties away. Then I got a message from a guy (on this site!) who lived on another continent, but I gave him a chance. I had a good feeling about him, and he turned out to be a great guy. It didn't work out in the long term, but it was still a good experience.

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ORIGINAL: Awareness


Well, it depends what you're talking about. If you're talking about how women can maximise their chances on dating sites, then it goes something like this:

Men want to fuck. If you just want to fuck, then put up your sexiest shot and wait for the corresponding dudes to roll in.

If you're looking for something a little more meaningful then....

... this is where the unadulterated truth comes in.

Men. We are hellishly into looks. In a big way. You've got to have something about you physically which yanks our crank.

The simplest answer to reeling men in is to have a cute face and a hot body. That will get you a large sample to sift through.

Thing is, a woman with a sparkling personality can often win men over in spite of her less than perfect body if she's interacting in person. Trouble is, dating sites don't really let women display that personality in ways meaningful to men. Frankly most men are less sharp at perceiving personality online.

You also have to understand that most men see women in one of three fundamental ways.

The lowest level is the women you'll let blow you, but whom you don't want to fuck because she's probably diseased. Now there's a fair amount of men who don't have this level because they either don't have the option or because they're just not into interacting sexually with women they don't care for.

The next level is the woman you'll fuck. This woman has to be sexy in some way, although it doesn't have to be conventionally sexy. Just something which turns our crank. This can include women we don't want to be seen with in public. If a guy won't be seen with you, then you're on this level.

The top tier is the women we're happy to be seen with publicly. And if we're really into them, we'll introduce them to our mother at some point. This is the creme de la creme of the available woman. Not only is she attractive and charming, she's sane, balanced and has a good attitude. And something about her makes us utterly adore her in some way. These women - and ONLY these women - are relationship material.

To be in the top tier, you have to be attractive enough for us to see ourselves with you. If we think we're more attractive than you, you're NOT going to make it into this tier. You'll be the chick we fuck in secret when we're horny.

So if you're looking for relationship potential on dating sites, you have to be in the top tier for the kind of men you like.

To maximise your potential on dating sites - especially if you're a female sub looking for a Dom - you must be as attractive - and above all - as FEMININE as you possibly can be. Dominant men are looking for feminine women because sexual polarity drives attraction. The more different a woman is to ourselves, the more attractive we find her.

If you're an androgynous woman, you'll attract androgynous dudes and together you'll have a relationship which is more like a friendship. The greater the gender difference between two people, the greater the passion. If you want a masculine man, you MUST be a feminine woman. Period. This is not negotiable. If you meet a masculine guy who's into women with boyish haircuts, then congratulations - you've found yourself a bisexual dude.

What does that mean? It means hair, it means makeup, it means taking excellent care of your body. It means being awesome by being feminine and enjoying it.

Being an attractive feminine woman is exactly the same thing as being a socially dominant, successful man. Men look for femininity and physical attractiveness. Women look for masculinity and career success (or to put it another way - power).

So. Be awesome. Be feminine. Enjoy the softness that is being a woman. The more feminine you are, the more masculine the men you'll attract.

Now if we presume you manage to attract the right kind of guy, we can safely presume you're attracting a whole boatload of the wrong guys. So how do you tell the difference? This is where the primary challenge arises for women. It's not quantity that's the issue, it's quality.

The difference is, the guy who's genuinely interested in more than the contents of your underwear will be intrigued by WHO you are, not just what you look like. The men who just want to fuck you will focus on physical attributes and the possibility of sex. The guy who's genuinely interested in you, will dance with you. Tease you in conversation. Intrigue you. He'll want to see what kind of woman you are.

And IF he approaches you, he'll be low key. He'll comment on something in your profile because he's actually read it and he's curious about the woman behind it. He may make a joke, he may be bemused by something you've said - he'll engage in a way which isn't immediately sexual. Because HE has standards and if you turn out to be ditzy headcase, HE's not going to be interested. He really won't be all that invested in one woman, because he knows he can attract many women. He may even tell you to get your shit together and Skype with him or fuck off.

The guys with options are prepared to walk away. The guys without options are clingy as fuck. Keep that in mind.

Also, as a general rule, keep a watch out for the traits described in this document. It's required reading for anyone who dates online: http://tinyurl.com/ys9s7p

So basically, reel us in with your attractive femininity and keep us there with your stunning personality. The same rule applies to women. Be awesome. Aim to be the most attractive, feminine, witty, sparkling woman you can. Because even if you don't succeed, by aiming high you'll stand out amongst the sea of average.

Oh, and never have pics of your cunt on your profile. There's really no coming back from that.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I guess I have to tell The Man that he's not top tier. Despite his Wharton MBA, his own business, etc etc. Because if he was he wouldn't be with a woman his own age whom he loves and respects. Instead he'd be bored stiffed with a 21 year old just out of a hospital for eating disorders. Because that's an idiot's idea of a top tier female.

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ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

It's true. Women love a man with his own poultry farm.

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ORIGINAL: Alpha4U007

But I do have a question for the women who don't read any of their emails (deleted unread) because she believes ALL MEN who write emails are all creeps and pervs. She claims she is able to read the first two lines without opening the email.

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But for those women who are hoping to meet someone and accepting emails..... Why, if you believe all men are creeps and pervs and delete everything you read?

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ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I believe we have to have a profile on the other side to engage on the forums. Not certain but I think so.

I don't think anyone here said they believe ALL men are "creeps and pervs". But any woman who has spent a bit of time reading messages from and profiles of men on the other side will know that maybe 99.99% of those men are just horrifying. Creeps and pervs would be putting it kindly. We stay on the site because of the hope that there are hidden gems in that steaming pile over there, a hope fueled by stories like ResidentSadist and Samdarella, and Awareness and Kaliko, of very happy pairings found here.

edit typo

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ORIGINAL: dreamlady

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ORIGINAL: Alpha4U007

But I do have a question for the women who don't read any of their emails (deleted unread) because she believes ALL MEN who write emails are all creeps and pervs. She claims she is able to read the first two lines without opening the email.

Honestly, I don't believe women seeking a suitable match on this or other sites, including vanilla dating sites, are automatically deleting messages en masse unless they are going into their Bulk mail folders. Even then, I scan over messages which have been filtered (age, location, blank profile; some filter out gender, orientation, no profile pic), in the off-chance they are just marginally undesirable. This site doesn't do this, but there are sites where once you respond to a pre-filtered message, that user now has access to your Inbox and can bypass the filtered mail. One one site in particular (on one of those very rare occasions where I send site suggestions to technical support to fix what I consider to be a glitch), responding to a message will permanently place this user on your undeletable Contacts list so you have to see every single time this user is on line the same time you are. It effectively discourages not-interested message responses. (That site also doesn't allow you to hide their thumbnails and profiles from appearing either.)

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But for those women who are hoping to meet someone and accepting emails..... Why, if you believe all men are creeps and pervs and delete everything you read?

OP hasn't clarified his initial assertions, and it's possible that his female friends aren't telling him the whole story. They may not want to say that they're not interested in short guys, or men much older than they are, or not their preferred ethnicity, or a wannabe biker with Harley in his user name, or have to justify to OP why a man appears way too goofy-looking to consider.

I'll raise another point which is germane on just about any site. Men don't realize (or women, but that's beyond the scope of your question) how choosing an off-putting user name can count against them. This can range from complete turn-off, objectionable, to striking someone as cheesy, to ambivalence, to invoking no response, to an initially pleasant impression.

I had somebody recently claim that his screen name meant nothing. He had numbers attached to it which gave the impression they were his age and/or birth year. Then he admitted what those numbers meant to him, wherein he contradicted himself, because there was symbolic meaning to the screen name he had chosen. [8|]

Alpha, in your case as a Dominant, I can overlook your inclusion of a term which ordinarily does not appeal to me, and not count that as a minus. But then I see your age is far below my age range, and that your location is a big minus. At this point, I would see no reason to view your profile or to engage with you. If your message appeared to have had some thoughtful effort put into it, instead of just the substandard "Hi", "How are you?", "Hi, beautiful" (because this tells me you're just cruising photos), or "Can we chat?", then I personally would reply and wish you luck in your search for an age-appropriate match nearby. But not if I were on a site which would automatically unfilter you from Bulk.

To whoever might have the answer to this - not on CS, but elsewhere - what is it with these guys adding "InaBox", "-asaurus", "taco", and "O-matic" to their screen names? What's with that? This isn't an automatic turn-off, but along with an immaturish/substandard quality contact message, these guys don't stand a chance.

DreamLady

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ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I believe we have to have a profile on the other side to engage on the forums. Not certain but I think so.

I don't think anyone here said they believe ALL men are "creeps and pervs". But any woman who has spent a bit of time reading messages from and profiles of men on the other side will know that maybe 99.99% of those men are just horrifying. Creeps and pervs would be putting it kindly. We stay on the site because of the hope that there are hidden gems in that steaming pile over there, a hope fueled by stories like ResidentSadist and Samdarella, and Awareness and Kaliko, of very happy pairings found here.

edit typo

Agree with all except that "we", since there is no "we" among all women. I do not stay on the site due to the happy pairings found here. There are some couples where I cringe from their described dynamic and others who I adore reading about. I certainly would never want any new people to model their behavior on certain posters beliefs.

i stay on this site and others with a very healthy dose of low expectations and being non-delusional. I have met all of my men offline.

This is really just entertainment, when not polluted by boring, nonsensical threads that last way too long.

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ORIGINAL: kinkygymfreak

yes i used to believe women were more refined people than men, until i built big muscles. women stare at my pecs all the time which is ok, , i have had married women try it on. women can be as bad as men! if they see something they like.

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ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I guess I have to tell The Man that he's not top tier. Despite his Wharton MBA, his own business, etc etc. Because if he was he wouldn't be with a woman his own age whom he loves and respects. Instead he'd be bored stiffed with a 21 year old just out of a hospital for eating disorders. Because that's an idiot's idea of a top tier female.

Thanks for clarifying.

If THAT's what all that blather said....he could have said it vastly simpler.

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ORIGINAL: crazyml

Nonsense.

While it may be fair to say "most men" or even "the vast majority", it is not true that all men judge women based upon their promiscuity.

I certainly don't.

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ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie
(Gawwwwwd that was fucking long!)

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ORIGINAL: Awareness

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ORIGINAL: crazyml

Nonsense.

While it may be fair to say "most men" or even "the vast majority", it is not true that all men judge women based upon their promiscuity.

I certainly don't.

There's a bunch of qualifications around it which I really don't want to get into, but as a general rule it suffices. Likewise, not all women will be attracted to a given type of individual, but as a general rule there are a number of things which most of them are attracted to.

People are free to live their lives hoping to attract the outliers but it's not a smart way to play the game.