okay....serious.....

okay....serious..... (Full Version)

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LookieNoNookie -> okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 6:20:40 PM)
Good guys are out there.....bad guys fuck it up. Give the good guys some advice ladies. Skip all the "quit putting your dick picks in your responses"....most of us know that.... You're all just as afraid of making a bad mistake (granted....you're pursued...we pursue and occasionally, dangerously so) as we are...us having been told by so many...."money/gifts/blah blah blah......."....which turns most of us off as much as you being badgered. Some of us are as (quite) real as you are and I DO know....some of you are extraordinarily real....wanting just as much as we do. How do we (men) get past that awful blockage? Is it even possible? Are you so jaded by all the pricks out there that we have to run faster than Usain Bolt in a 20K to get any kind of audience? What's the ticket? How do we get to "you"? Jump in guys...you know you've wanted to ask this question for years.....get in.

RockaRolla -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 6:26:52 PM)
Start by approaching the woman as that specific woman, as as individual you would like to interact with. Not as the latest entry in a long list of females that caught your interest.

DerangedUnit -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 6:38:57 PM)
For me it's always been "you get what you give" if all you say is hi.... all you get is hi. If you try to be a superior prick ill be a superior prick, if youwant to talk to a piece of meat ill treat you like a piece of meat... I think to generalize that to be applicable to more than just me id say dont expect the opposite of what you give. Dont approach someone in a bad mood and expect kindness in return.

SMgirl66 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 6:47:07 PM)
talking and wanting to know whats inside a person, instead of being more what a person looks like, or wanting to rush and meet after 3 messages and then run off when i say i need more time that would work

LookieNoNookie -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:06:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SMgirl66 talking and wanting to know whats inside a person, instead of being more what a person looks like, or wanting to rush and meet after 3 messages and then run off when i say i need more time that would work GAWWWWD.....actually giving a shit? (That seems a bit over the top).

DaddySatyr -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:21:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SMgirl66 talking and wanting to know whats inside a person, instead of being more what a person looks like, or wanting to rush and meet after 3 messages and then run off when i say i need more time that would work I think this might be a matter of perspective and each particular situation. I know you used the phrase: " ... after 3 messages ...". I'm hoping that was an exaggeration. Certainly, only three would be a bit quick. I'm going to expand upon that, a little bit. When a lady contacts me and seems "gung-ho", I will suggest a phone/Skype conversation fairly quickly (an hour or two of chatting. I DESPISE carrying on a conversation through text. There's too many chances for misunderstanding). I've now, invested two hours (or so) of my time, doing something I hate to do because I understand that the other person has their own time table. If the lady balks at the idea of actually speaking, but still seems "gung-ho" in other ways, it's a "yellow flag" for me. So, when I start chatting with her, again (on a different day, we happen to both be online) and I spend another hour or two with her, still seeming to be interested and we can't move on, a little bit, I will, probably figure that we just aren't going to mesh. I don't "run off", but I certainly don't invest a whole lot more time. Also, I don't slam the door. I've met a couple of young ladies from this very website that have messaged me, months later saying: "Okay. I think I'm ready to meet you, now" (Of course, on one occasion, I found out there was a relationship with someone else, in the interim). Again, I think it's about perspective. I've actually chatted with a couple of ladies that have profiles that read something along the lines of: "I don't want to waste a whole lot of time, typing. You need to be willing to talk on the phone/meet for coffee within ______________(X amount of time)" Different people have different time tables. if our time tables don't mesh, neither is running off; they've just re-evaluated. Michael

DerangedUnit -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:23:07 PM)
Id rather meet after three messages I dont like talking to people online, dont consider people to be human until I can see their face, feel their emotions, read them. Most guys are too scared to show up and id rather not waste time messaging when you can know in a minute of face time if their energy can keep up with yours. I will not talk on the phone to people I haven't met though... phones scare the bajeebus out of me, something about hearing a voice without seeing expression just sends shivers down my spine, plus I cant hear over a phone for some reason so when I try it's mostly just me saying "what?" A lot.

DaddySatyr -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:28:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit Id rather meet after three messages I dont like talking to people online, dont consider people to be human until I can see their face, feel their emotions, read them. Most guys are too scared to show up and id rather not waste time messaging when you can know in a minute of face time if their energy can keep up with yours. And that speaks directly to something I typed, also. It's about individuals. Most of the posts I've seen from ladies, here seem to indicate that they're not even getting on a phone for a couple of weeks. I prefer "no nonsense", myself. Pick a spot, geographically between the two of you (I don't care if it's a damned supermarket/WallyWorld) and meet up! Kudos to you! Michael

Kittenluv954 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:39:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit Id rather meet after three messages I dont like talking to people online, dont consider people to be human until I can see their face, feel their emotions, read them. Most guys are too scared to show up and id rather not waste time messaging when you can know in a minute of face time if their energy can keep up with yours. I work just the opposite way hehe, I won't waste the time turning over the ignition of my car unless I have talked to him in messages for a few days at least. I can and do form connections somewhat online, it usually translates (for me) to being excited to meet him. But usually it doesn't work that way. They want my phone number within a message or two, they want to meet THAT DAY (fuck all if I have plans with family, class that night, or even just began talking to them at 8pm already...) and just like SMgirl66 said, they pretend to be understanding (usually) and disappear. Because a woman who isn't comfortable with meeting random online strangers who she feels nothing more than vague interest for, isn't worth getting to know at all. They say they want a relationship, but are unwilling to cultivate a fucking comfort zone let alone anything else. But ya know, there's always the "next best thing" right around the corner. Why have a shred of patience amirite?

SMgirl66 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:42:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit Id rather meet after three messages I dont like talking to people online, dont consider people to be human until I can see their face, feel their emotions, read them. Most guys are too scared to show up and id rather not waste time messaging when you can know in a minute of face time if their energy can keep up with yours. I will not talk on the phone to people I haven't met though... phones scare the bajeebus out of me, something about hearing a voice without seeing expression just sends shivers down my spine, plus I cant hear over a phone for some reason so when I try it's mostly just me saying "what?" A lot. loll no i am pretty shy with face to face but have no problem talking on the phone, not sure why it's just easier for me

SMgirl66 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:45:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit Id rather meet after three messages I dont like talking to people online, dont consider people to be human until I can see their face, feel their emotions, read them. Most guys are too scared to show up and id rather not waste time messaging when you can know in a minute of face time if their energy can keep up with yours. And that speaks directly to something I typed, also. It's about individuals. Most of the posts I've seen from ladies, here seem to indicate that they're not even getting on a phone for a couple of weeks. I prefer "no nonsense", myself. Pick a spot, geographically between the two of you (I don't care if it's a damned supermarket/WallyWorld) and meet up! Kudos to you! Michael hey Michael nope that 3 messages is not an exaggeration, i have a lot of guys go hi like your profile, then 2 messages in want to meet...i prefer messaging for a day loll then talking on the phone for a while then meeting because i am shy and face to face gives me panic attacks if i am not comfortable. its not months i am wanting in time its maybe a week or two with conversation in those weeks lol

SMgirl66 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:48:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954 quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit Id rather meet after three messages I dont like talking to people online, dont consider people to be human until I can see their face, feel their emotions, read them. Most guys are too scared to show up and id rather not waste time messaging when you can know in a minute of face time if their energy can keep up with yours. I work just the opposite way hehe, I won't waste the time turning over the ignition of my car unless I have talked to him in messages for a few days at least. I can and do form connections somewhat online, it usually translates (for me) to being excited to meet him. But usually it doesn't work that way. They want my phone number within a message or two, they want to meet THAT DAY (fuck all if I have plans with family, class that night, or even just began talking to them at 8pm already...) and just like SMgirl66 said, they pretend to be understanding (usually) and disappear. Because a woman who isn't comfortable with meeting random online strangers who she feels nothing more than vague interest for, isn't worth getting to know at all. They say they want a relationship, but are unwilling to cultivate a fucking comfort zone let alone anything else. But ya know, there's always the "next best thing" right around the corner. Why have a shred of patience amirite? yep yep your very right why the rush i always say, as long as you can prove your a female (which i understand) why do we have to rush into a meeting that in my experience translates to a meeting and then bed loll

DerangedUnit -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:50:46 PM)
I suppose it's because I dont drive to meet them, I schedule people to meet the same place I'll already be... if they dont show up they are a permanent out. I usually travel between states enough that I can be a broad range of locations, once im around they decide if they want to make the trip. But I dont go out if my way to meet people most online dont show up and ill get hit on enough times while waiting for someone if I wanted a date for the night id have it anyways..... one time I had a guy pretend he was who I was waiting for I didnt find out for an hour he wasnt. The downfalls of not remembering names well ;)

Kittenluv954 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 7:56:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SMgirl66 quote: ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954 quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit Id rather meet after three messages I dont like talking to people online, dont consider people to be human until I can see their face, feel their emotions, read them. Most guys are too scared to show up and id rather not waste time messaging when you can know in a minute of face time if their energy can keep up with yours. I work just the opposite way hehe, I won't waste the time turning over the ignition of my car unless I have talked to him in messages for a few days at least. I can and do form connections somewhat online, it usually translates (for me) to being excited to meet him. But usually it doesn't work that way. They want my phone number within a message or two, they want to meet THAT DAY (fuck all if I have plans with family, class that night, or even just began talking to them at 8pm already...) and just like SMgirl66 said, they pretend to be understanding (usually) and disappear. Because a woman who isn't comfortable with meeting random online strangers who she feels nothing more than vague interest for, isn't worth getting to know at all. They say they want a relationship, but are unwilling to cultivate a fucking comfort zone let alone anything else. But ya know, there's always the "next best thing" right around the corner. Why have a shred of patience amirite? yep yep your very right why the rush i always say, as long as you can prove your a female (which i understand) why do we have to rush into a meeting that in my experience translates to a meeting and then bed loll well yeah, putting out is expected, that's what all the modern girls are doing dontcha know! Why wait to discover YOUR worth when Suzy Sleepover (who never sleeps over) is gonna make things so much easier. Again... the next best thing is ready if you aren't so, yeah.

Kittenluv954 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 8:09:13 PM)
that is a good idea, deranged. but what do you do if more than one shows up lol, introduce them to each other and go on to explain how you never thought in a million years either one of them was going to show up lol... the picture of this happening at starbucks makes me giggle a bit, I won't lie hehe

DaddySatyr -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 8:11:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit I suppose it's because I dont drive to meet them, I schedule people to meet the same place I'll already be... [/snip] This is something I always advise against ... meeting in a place that's "yours". I once broke that rule because the young lady didn't know me, very well and I am not very active at play parties and such (I've been to two of them {Not counting when I worked at a dungeon} in two decades or so). Well, I agreed to meet her at a place that was my "Tuesday Night Spot" so that she could meet some of the 'nilla people that knew me (It was a karaoke joint). Needless to say, the meeting didn't go very well but didn't that become *her* Tuesday night spot for a month or six weeks. Awkward! LOL Michael

DaddySatyr -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 8:16:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SMgirl66 hey Michael nope that 3 messages is not an exaggeration, i have a lot of guys go hi like your profile, then 2 messages in want to meet...i prefer messaging for a day loll then talking on the phone for a while then meeting because i am shy and face to face gives me panic attacks if i am not comfortable. its not months i am wanting in time its maybe a week or two with conversation in those weeks lol Well, three messages is a bit unreasonable, obviously. I'm a guy and I used to be well armed and I *still* don't think I would have met with anyone *that* quickly. Yeah, face-to-face or phone? Who cares. The point is: you're willing to expend a little energy. That's where the rubber meets the road; willingness. You don't like face-to-face until you're *really* comfortable. Fair dues. You also don't demand months of typing. Spot-on. Michael

DerangedUnit -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 9:00:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954 that is a good idea, deranged. but what do you do if more than one shows up lol, introduce them to each other and go on to explain how you never thought in a million years either one of them was going to show up lol... the picture of this happening at starbucks makes me giggle a bit, I won't lie hehe More than one has only showed up a couple times lol only once did it go bad for me (they decided to work together douh) the other 2 times a clear pecking order established quickly but everyone still managed to have fun and I was friends with a couple of them for a while. 2 times were at a park, the other was indoors a diner I think but it was a while ago so I dont remember. I like exciting so getting into troublesome situations is kinda my cup of tea :P

DerangedUnit -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 9:04:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit I suppose it's because I dont drive to meet them, I schedule people to meet the same place I'll already be... [/snip] This is something I always advise against ... meeting in a place that's "yours". I once broke that rule because the young lady didn't know me, very well and I am not very active at play parties and such (I've been to two of them {Not counting when I worked at a dungeon} in two decades or so). Well, I agreed to meet her at a place that was my "Tuesday Night Spot" so that she could meet some of the 'nilla people that knew me (It was a karaoke joint). Needless to say, the meeting didn't go very well but didn't that become *her* Tuesday night spot for a month or six weeks. Awkward! LOL Michael I like awkward ;) it makes for good stories

igor2003 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/16/2015 9:44:55 PM)
--FR-- Personally, I've always found that the sooner you actually meet, the better...within reason. Here's why: When you make contact, and things seem very promising, you start to envision the person you are talking to as falling into the mold of what you find ideal. You can exchange written messages, chat via Skype or Messenger, talk on the phone, etc. And for some, the "words" all seem very right and promising, so in your mind this starts to look like the perfect person for you. You start imagining things outside of what you have actually talked about. Your mental picture of this person gets better and better. Finally...FINALLY...you decide to actually meet this person that you have imagined to be so perfect. . .only to now find out that, in person, the "spark" isn't really there. Oh my God...this person actually has FLAWS! You are disappointed. And so you decide not to see that person again. Days, weeks, or even months have been wasted building false expectations. But, if you go ahead and meet this person...IN person...relatively early on, you build their flaws into the picture you have of them. And we know that EVERYONE has flaws. You don't have to actually start dating or having frequent meetings of any kind. You can let them know that you want to move slowly. If they can't handle that, then you already know they aren't the person for you. But at least while you are getting to know them, you are getting to know the real person...not some idealized picture you have of them based only on your imaginings. Also, if a person starts taking too long to at least meet, then I start to think that they must not have as much interest as I do, and if their interest isn't there, I'll move on. I know this kind of situation isn't for everyone. But for me, this has been what works the best.

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