Age gaps - the other way round (Full Version)

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IcarusBurning -> Age gaps - the other way round (3/16/2015 8:20:45 PM)

Hello All

I know its not uncommon for sizeable age gaps where the man is older than the woman. But have you been in relationships where its the other way around? By sizeable I mean a gap of more than 5 years, and in this case the woman being older than the man.

I dont mean to be narrow minded. Personally, the dynamic works better for me with someone younger, upto maybe a little older. Just wanted to have a perspective of what people feel about the situation in general. For example, I have read of women saying that they would really prefer someone older to submit to. On the other hand, once or twice I do chance upon someone who wants a younger dominant.

My best guess is that it has to do with the level of maturity, and a certain stability and establishment of the dominant concerned. Usually it comes with years, but I suppose exceptions always exist. What do you think?



Kittenluv954 -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/16/2015 8:32:11 PM)

I don't like to be the older one. Not at all. I get young men in their 20s messaging me pretty often, mainly because I play WoW, and so do they lol. But for me it often feels like I'm assuming a mommy type role or something, and it's just an instant turn off. I also have some issues with getting older, and I don't like my age highlighted. I think it's a huge highlight if my date could be my son. A friend of mine is married to a guy who is 17 years younger than her, she loves it. But she has stories of times she's gone to the doctor with him, or various other instances and was confused for his mother... I would just die. no, just NO. I like men a good 7-10 years older than me, I find comfort in a Dom having "been there, done that"



MissToYouRedux -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/16/2015 8:33:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

Hello All

I know its not uncommon for sizeable age gaps where the man is older than the woman. But have you been in relationships where its the other way around? By sizeable I mean a gap of more than 5 years, and in this case the woman being older than the man.

...


Significantly more than 5 years older in relationships that lasted many years, but then I'm the dominant so your same rationale applies, no?



DerangedUnit -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/16/2015 8:38:42 PM)

All the women in my family go younger as they get older... I think they just give up and and go for pretty boy of the month to carry their bags. I wouldnt rule it out but ive only liked one guy my age and that was my best friend. I like my guys to be widowed and divorced at least once a piece so they have some notes to compare to.... these younguns are too emotional



DaddySatyr -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/16/2015 8:43:50 PM)


I've spoken about this, before. I'm the very tail end of a very "significant" generation in this country (The Baby Boomers).

Because I'm all the way at the end of it (1946-1964 and I was born in '64), I tend to get along better with ladies that were raised in a similar fashion to the one in which I was raised. Now, this isn't to say that age alone is going to be the "key" but, the chances are better that I am going to meet an older lady who meshes well with me.

I've only ever had seven really significant relationships in my life. Of those seven, the longest was my marriage (but it shouldn't have been. I stayed because of "Catholic Guilt/Shame). She was three years younger than I.

The next three longest relationships with with ladies 20, 17, and 12 years older than I.

I will say that I have met some incredible ladies that are, indeed, younger than I but I find them to be more few and far-between than the incredible ladies my age or older.



Michael



RemoteUser -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/16/2015 11:30:22 PM)

I have done the age gap thing myself, and it doesn't matter how wide that gap is, as the prevailing attitude of both parties. A guy could be totally immature and not take things as seriously. A woman could be emotionally charged and incompatible. And both cases could be true regardless of gender.

If I had a potential partner that wanted the same things I did, respected my needs (and held me accountable for the same in return) then that would matter a whole lot more than how much younger she was. By the same token, attitude should prevail over looks. Sadly, in most cases, it does not...



petitespot -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/17/2015 1:17:41 AM)

My ex husband was six years older than me. We had a nice run of eighteen years.
My last serious relationship since my divorce was that guy I met here on the boards. 8)
He was 2 years older.

Now that I've finally been dating again I've only considered younger.
I am most definitely NOT looking or wanting anything serious so younger is the way to go.
I've been dating a guy since August who's 12 years younger than me and let me tell you....he is a hell of a lot of fun.
Plus there ain't none of those erection issues that you old guys get. Nope. None of that at all.

He can do it. And do it. And do it. And then sleep a little bit. And then do it again.
Yeehaw!

Edited to add...so I've been pondering this a little.
If I was looking for a serious relationship, I would still consider someone younger. I like the appeal of that idea.
I really don't find men more than fivish years older than me to be sexually attractive.
And I have to be sexually attractive to someone initially in order to want to explore a relationship with them.
Yeah I know. I'm shallow.



DesFIP -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/17/2015 8:38:30 AM)

There's a guy on fet married to a woman almost 20 years older. He's the dominant. But he was in his late 30s when they married.

Me? Like Michael I need someone who understands where I come from. But I prefer someone within five years of me. Someone in the same life stage, someone who has the same important events in his history. If you can't remember the assassination of JFK and the effect it had on the nation, then you're not compatible.



UnholyBear -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/17/2015 9:42:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

But have you been in relationships where its the other way around? By sizeable I mean a gap of more than 5 years, and in this case the woman being older than the man.




About 90% of the time, yes and the age difference has ranged between 7 and 26 years between us.



RockaRolla -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/17/2015 1:46:32 PM)

I think at my age going for a younger guy would be a bad idea. I've no interest in teenage boys.

I'll revisit my position in 20 years or so.



vivaciousgrace -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/19/2015 3:58:29 PM)

I have been the older woman more than once.

As long as the gentleman in question is intelligent, mature and respectful it makes no difference. However there is certainly a 'lad culture' associated with many younger men that i do not find attractive or interesting in the slightest.

My younger gentlemen were rather more independent and successful in life than many their age.

I didn't give much thought to the years between us, only to how well i could get on with the person in front of me. That said, i have in the past fallen very hard for a man young enough to still be playing the "I am not ready for a relationship" card... and this was not good!



ResidentSadist -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/19/2015 9:56:16 PM)

For me it is a matter of IQ and depth of passion, not age.

My slave is 10 years younger than me. My ex is 14 years older than me. My ex had just turned 70 and my slave was in her late 40s when I took them both to Savannah on vacation. We were so full of good spirit and having so much fun, we were like little kids and no one could tell how old any of us were.

As far as being able to handle age differences in either direction, for me it is more a matter of the person's character and how smart they are. I had a poly with s-types that were 30 years younger than me, but they were really smart girls and we had a lot in common. When I was 52, my partner was 18. When I was 38, my partner was 52. When I was 14, she was 30. Age don't mean much in a word ruled by passion and intellect.

Gimme some smart sexy bitch of any age or any size that can bring some heat and put fuel on the fires of passion and I am a happy man.






Missokyst -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/20/2015 10:45:25 AM)

With the exception of only 2 men in my entire dating history (and that is a long time!), all others have been younger than I by a minimum of 5 yrs. As I have gotten older I have only been approached by men who are 10 yrs to 20 yrs younger than I am. I figure that is my lot in life so I got used to it pretty early. No part of me assumes that older men are more capable, wiser, or more experienced. For me that thinking is a crock. While I am submissive, I don't buy into the belief that my dominant is inherently wiser than I. Younger or older matters not, for me it is all about whether my mate has sense, and that can come at any age.



sexyred1 -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/20/2015 11:37:18 PM)

My last guy was 15 years younger than me.

Most of my relationships were slightly younger or just one or two years older.

I wouldn't want someone much older than me, I am compatible with older, but I never feel chemistry with most.



MsDDom -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/24/2015 10:09:28 AM)

As the OP stated, it is acceptable for men to be older than the reverse. My age gap currently is 22 yrs; my slave is younger.

There has to be compatibility for a dynamic to work with a significantly large age gap.



SweetlySadistic1 -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/24/2015 2:40:23 PM)

My submissive is 13 years younger than myself, I'm 57 & he's 44, and he's a sweetheart. Except for one relationship, any others I've been in I've been the younger. I find it makes no difference to me. Of course, I'm not going for a 30 year old, that will never happen. My kids are 34 and 36 and it would just feel pervy(and not in a good way).

SweetlySadistic1



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/24/2015 6:09:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IcarusBurning

Hello All

I know its not uncommon for sizeable age gaps where the man is older than the woman. But have you been in relationships where its the other way around? By sizeable I mean a gap of more than 5 years, and in this case the woman being older than the man.

I dont mean to be narrow minded. Personally, the dynamic works better for me with someone younger, upto maybe a little older. Just wanted to have a perspective of what people feel about the situation in general. For example, I have read of women saying that they would really prefer someone older to submit to. On the other hand, once or twice I do chance upon someone who wants a younger dominant.

My best guess is that it has to do with the level of maturity, and a certain stability and establishment of the dominant concerned. Usually it comes with years, but I suppose exceptions always exist. What do you think?


There's a woman in Vegas (she doesn't hang out here) who's about 5 years older than I am....we're very good friends....and she knows....if she ever showed up at my door, she'd have a key in 4 minutes.



datapicnik -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/25/2015 5:14:40 PM)

I've been involved with a woman 30 years younger recently and a woman 15 years older when I was in my mid 30's. I really could care less about age, personally.



CougarRick -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (3/26/2015 5:30:42 AM)

I'm the younger one in the relationship. She was a bit uncomfortable with this at first as she had never been with a much younger guy, so we went very slow at first but after awhile it really just came down to compatibility. We love spending time together and now it's just not an issue.



RazorLust -> RE: Age gaps - the other way round (4/4/2015 2:13:51 PM)

This is an interesting topic to me.
At around age 18 I was in a relationship with a woman a year older than my mother.
I was Dominant then (much like now) but hadn't discovered the fetish community yet, so wasn't as focused or conscious of my direction. That learning took a lot of years. lol
Looking back now I'm older, it was one of the most defining relationships of my life, and I learned a lot in that time. I'm grateful for the relationship, but am equally grateful she broke it off. There's a lot of paths I probably wouldn't have walked if she hadn't made that (difficult for both of us at the time) decision. She already had three kids when we met, and was done. A half dozen or so years later I bumped into her and was able to introduce her to my own daughter, which wouldn't likely have happened had we stayed in that relationship.

That said, though I have come to prefer women within a decade of my age (either up or down, it doesn't matter) there are still comparisons to her in my mind. The relationship with my mother was always distant, but not particularly horrible or traumatic, so I don't think there were "mommy issues" involved. Just two people on the same train for a while, each convincing themselves the trip was going to last forever.
If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Yes, we were called mother and son a few times, but I admit I enjoyed messing with people by sliding a hand up a skirt, or a vastly inappropriate kiss. Just to enjoy the expressions on people's faces. (Actually, different dynamics, but that enjoyment of shock value hasn't changed over the years)

In my late 30's I dated a woman half my age, and put some of those lessons I learned to gentler use. I saw on facebook a few days ago that she has a child now, so in a strange way I feel like I've gone full circle in that regard, and learned more from that side of things. Was an awesome perspective, and proved what I thought when I was a kid; It's not about linear age; it's about the people in it.
Every relationship requires work and sacrifice. Sometimes those things are a little different than expected, but if someone wants to make those choices; awesome.
Those same perspectives on my life have led me to the point where I a common time frame feels more comfortable to me, and those more predicable and standard considerations. Sadly, it's also the toughest age bracket to find a suitable third. At least it feels that way to me. It seems to be a lot easier to find a sub 20 years younger now I'm looking for someone older. lol



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