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What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'?


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What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/21/2015 8:25:24 AM   
helpindeed


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What defines the so called 'lifestyle' and terms such as 'vanilla' 'alternative' 'conventional' 'old guard'?

Which person are social group originated the modern day terminology and various activities within the so called 'lifestyle'?
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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/21/2015 8:28:38 AM   
thishereboi


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As far as I know there is no one person, but I am guessing you already knew that. So how about you stop creating more threads on the same subject and just say what you came here to say. I haven't had enough coffee to play childrens games on an adult site.

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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/21/2015 8:36:34 AM   
DaddySatyr


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In this arena, that's a loaded question, actually.

I think the safest answer is that "lifestyle" refers to people who engage in a power exchange relationship all the time; they LIVE it, as opposed to those who only engage in some things at certain times (like in the bedroom).

One other thing I can help with: People who don't engage in what it is we do used to be referred to as 'nilla; not vanilla. It comes from those plain, rather bland cookies? Vanilla actually has a flavor.



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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/21/2015 8:50:04 AM   
Gauge


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quote:

ORIGINAL: helpindeed

What defines the so called 'lifestyle' and terms such as 'vanilla' 'alternative' 'conventional' 'old guard'?



Depends on who defines them. Some people have varying definitions for terms. Google here in this case is your friend. I saved you some work and found several sites in mere seconds... and I barely looked.

http://www.bdsmterms.com/

http://www.differentequals.com/glossary.html

https://www.xeromag.com/fvbdglossary.html

http://www.bdsmstore.com/glossary.html

http://www.bdsm-education.com/dictionary.html

Edited to add: There are terms that are a little amorphous and ambiguous and mean different things to different people. Find what works for you.

quote:

Which person are social group originated the modern day terminology and various activities within the so called 'lifestyle'?


Is this an actual question that you expect an answer to? The answer that your question requires would need a good deal of research and not just a Google search either. The terms evolved over time, the activities evolved over time. Caveman Grug tied Cavewoman Ugg to a tree with vines... we now use cotton based rope. Grug and Ugg used dinosaur bones for paddles, we now use synthetic plastic or wood. Grug and Ugg didn't have a lot of things we do today. Time evolved these things. Final answer.

< Message edited by Gauge -- 3/21/2015 8:52:17 AM >


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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/21/2015 9:31:53 AM   
sexyred1


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Lifestyle as used here usually means people who like to feel that there private activities are part of a larger, special group.

For myself, what I do, is part of my sex life. My lifestyle is everything else that makes up my life.

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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/21/2015 12:02:28 PM   
Apocalypso


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It's generally a term used to mean "people involved in the BDSM subculture". I'm using "subculture" in the sociological sense there.

Or, more specifically, the BDSM "lifestyle" can be seen as a number of overlapping and interlinked subcultures.

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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/21/2015 4:06:49 PM   
DesFIP


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Don't know the derivation but Old Guard refers to post WWII gay leathermen. The protocols of that group, which admittedly were different in NY than San Francisco, or Chicago or wherever, came about in order to protect themselves for arrest for the crime of practicing homosexuality. It used to be an easy bust for a cop, go to a gay bar, flirt and entrap and you filled your quota. The start as subs came about because no cop would do that.

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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/21/2015 4:17:36 PM   
crazyml


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Lifestyle as used here usually means people who like to feel that there private activities are part of a larger, special group.

For myself, what I do, is part of my sex life. My lifestyle is everything else that makes up my life.


QFT.

And to add....

The "lifestyle" and some of the other terms you mentioned have different meanings to different people. There's a long established Leather Movement, which has history, culture and customs. For many people who are active in the leather community, it would be fair to say that they're part of the "lifestyle".

"Lifestyle" is sometimes used in a slightly defensive way.... Someone might look down on someone else because they're not judged to be "lifestylers".

I'm with the fabulous sexyred... I would never in a million years identify as a "lifestyle bdsm'er" - that isn't to say that I judge people that do, it's just that my "lifestyle" is made up of many many things... I like good food, I love sailing, I love the outdoors, I love museums, theatre, and yes I love kinky sex and relationships that entail power exchange.

All of those things are important to me, and are intrinsic to my "lifestyle".


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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/22/2015 10:41:05 PM   
GoddessManko


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I only use "Lifestyle" in the context that I never take the gloves off and I live with BDSM as a part of my life 24/7.

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RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? - 3/23/2015 2:13:10 AM   
ResidentSadist


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I believe it was a 60s thing during the swing lifestyle heyday. The history of the term's origination as I saw it was from the swingers who were living the swing "lifestyle". When BDSM first hit the print media, it was a small subsection in the swinger's publications. Many of the publications titles were like Swingers Life, Swing Life <enter your city here> and Swingers Magazine slogan "Swinging is a lifestyle for swinger couples and swinging singles".

By the time I entered the scene in 1971, the leather crowd had adopted the popular print media term "lifestyle" to denote their participation in BDSM. Since then, our subculture has grown to include many other branches of kink under the alt/sex umbrella and now we have the broad term "lifestyle" which refers to BDSM and many other kinks rooted in 60s and 70s pan-sexual expansion of our community. We also have the term "leather lifestyle" referring to the older BDSM traditions and styles with gay roots from the 40s and 50s. Meanwhile, in other alt/sex/kink circles, "lifestyle" still means swinging.

Being "in the lifestyle" is NOT a measurement of your degree of participation. For example, if a swinger only goes to the annual swinger's resort to participate, they are a still a swinger. The same is true with BDSM. You can be a newbee weekend warrior who is bedroom only . . . and you are in the lifestyle because you share the common sexual practices of BDSM and kinksters.

By Webster's definition: Noun - the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group.

I think where people get the measurement perspective is from the "mode of living" aspect. You don't have to have BDSM or kink as your daily mode of living to be in the lifestyle. The term lifestyle doesn't mean you have to be into power exchange, live 24/7 as Master/slave or practice daily BDSM . . . it is your sexual practices that define your mode of living, not the frequency of them. If your style of sexual practices include things under the BDSM umbrella, you are in the "lifestyle". If your style of sexual or relationship practices are rooted in the traditional rank and military flavored themes of the 40s and 50s, you are in the "leather lifestyle".

. . . at least that is my narrow understanding of the terms and their origins from an American perspective. In the past, our forum members from Europe have often pointed out that their military didn't sell off Harley-Davidson motorcycles at a discount to enlisted men who bought leather riding jackets. In turn those leather jacketed motorcyclists who first experienced gay sex while serving in the military, then introduced "leather" and military "discipline" when seeking out the gay BDSM subculture here in the states. These are our "old guard". But the European origins of BDSM, their "lifestyle" and its' terminologies often have quite a difference from ours. I hope you will correct any of my errant domestic observations and invite you to further define it from a worldly perspective.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 3/23/2015 2:25:12 AM >


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