RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=-

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ExiledTyrant -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 11:41:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JuicerSales Buy my juicers!!!!!!!!!! Of course it's a real fetish just like selling juicers! Buy my juicers!!!!!!!!!! This isn't spam advertising because it's my really real fetish!!!!!!!!!! Buy my juicers!!!!!!!!!! Until I see delicate parts of your anatomy being juiced in it, it is not a fetish. Jus sayin

MissKatya -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 11:51:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist However, there is no such fetish, no paraphilia that defines money pigs, financial domination or a FinDom. So for me, I have to ask myself if it's a real life fetish? The answer I came up with was no. Totally fast responding to this because I'm cooking (and yes, I am a fantastic cook). I figured that financial domination would fall under the clinical paraphillia of fetishism as it's a non-sexual action (taking/giving money) but the end result brings sexual excitement. Masochism as well-the desire to be humiliated and suffer. Also, I could totally use a juicer right about now ;)

markyugen -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 12:09:36 PM)
Money is a fetish, -- perhaps even the ultimate fetish in our capitalist society, -- so why can’t moneylessness be a fetish, whether it be making somebody moneyless or being made moneyless oneself? Whether it’s a fetish you personally approve of or not is a completely different story. A fetish is all about what gets us aroused, reaching into some dark place in the libido and stirring our deepest, most mysterious desires, which suggests that the list of fetishes is innumerable and should be unbeheld by any traditional standards of morality, psychology or social taboo.

ResidentSadist -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 1:20:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB Really interesting bit of psychology their RS We do have a guy who turns up at Fem Domme clubs in London. He always brings along a bunch of envelopes stuffed with money and hands them out to Dommes without ever expecting an interaction. Someone once told me that he works hard but lives like a pauper because he gives all his salary away, not just to one Domme but to many. When I first met him I tried to interact with him but he backed off. All he wanted to do was give me the envelope and walk away. I gave him the opened envelope back because shit like that makes me feel very uncomfortable. I didn't think he was a loser as McCullen suggests but someone who desperately needed mental health professionals....I guess he's the nearest thing I will ever meet in the flesh to a 'pay pig'. Saying that, I don't think all PP's are gullible or in need of psychiatric help. Many fin Dommes do entertain their pay pigs even if it is only online. Whilst a run of the mill guy may sometimes get off or even addicted to personal porn interactions for which they pay good money for, some submissive men will get the same thrill and sense of belonging from online domination even if it does come at a price. Whilst it may not appear to be sexual, its a bit like chastity and I firmly believe that chastity is a very sexual to the person being put in it. Now that is awesome, a real live pay piggy in the flesh. Thank you for sharing this very unusual story. Do you remember how much was in the Penelope? For me, tangibility just gained a membership of 1. I agree that all PPs probably don't need psychiatric help. In fact, I would venture to guess that somewhere in the mass of online FinDoms, a few of them actually are spread eagle in front of the cam whilst their slave is frantically having a jerk-fest. But a few newly indoctrinated teenage sex workers spread eagle in the guise of FinDommery for some horny toads don't set the bar to meter a fetish. We already know what voyeurism looks like and that is not the heart of the claims that financial domination is a fetish. quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy I thought you hated this subject! You can sweep anything under the umbrella of "TPE." For instance cleaning a floor is not a fetish..... Yes, and when a dictator subjugates the people of a country, it isn't BDSM because he is exerting "domination". Same reason I feel financial "domination" isn't BDSM. quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance You're an intelligent man, RS and I get where you are cming from. One thing though. I don't consider anything we do, that falls under a BDSM - D/s - M/s umbrella to BE any form of paraphilia "unless those activities quote: *cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functing."* *ion* Keeping that in mind, a money-pig who can't pay his/her bills because of a need to send his/her income to a fin domme falls more into the category of a paraphillia than someone who likes to get their freak on, but in a way that doesn't harm/impact their every day life. As I understand it engaging in sado/maochistic practices, is not in and of itself diagnosable as being sexually dysfunctional. The reference in the DSM is about Paraphilia being diagnosed if it causes problems in the every day aspects of your life. If you have impaired functioning day to day, because of your sado/masochism, then it might be diagnosable as a paraphilia. The actual criteria for a diagnosisis is if one acts on their obsessions with a 'non consenting invidual' (sadism) or The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (masochism). And of course, that these problems have occured over a period of more than 6 months. I am NOT advocating FOR money-pigs or findommes - I haven't met one in real life either. Hell, for that matter, I haven't dealt with any online either as it isn't my thing. I just felt compelled to point out that I don't know if what you are doing is diagnosable as a paraphilia or not but defining what we do AS a paraphilia does not sit well with me. Much love, and respect and apologies for disagreeing with you WinD Much love back to you too. I miss your good conversation and hope is all well for you. I am sorry my view point about paraphilias being a guiding light of sorts and defining what we do as paraphilias doesn't sit well with you. That being said, I was always under the impression that being a perverted fetishist was considered a "social impairment." Albeit the lighter side of the diagnosis for impairment because we have our own social clubs nowadays. Kind of like the bikers are outcasts of society argument. The Hell's Angels probably, the Free Riders not so much. Being a sexual sadist has hurt my life by other people's measure. I have passed up many wonderful partners that would have made good wives and bore children if I weren't honest with myself about my perversion and needs in a partner. I don't have a passel of kids and have no legacy because I filtered my potential partners to just "someone who likes to get their freak on" in a slave-like bisexual poly masochistic way. I feel I am better off. Currently paired with an ideal mate, we are living in bliss. Alternatively I could have had a wife long ago, maybe one that wasn't poly, or not masochistic, or not bisexual or not slave-like . . . or worse, not any of those things. I would be living a lie. I would be dishonest with myself. Does the vanilla world think I am better off? Does my family think my personal integrity and happiness outweighs failing to produce progeny . . . I think not. I think they would say I have been "impaired" by my kink, and that fetishism seriously hurt my life at the core of its purpose and family values. But with personal integrity intact and in my kinky bliss I would disagree with them and maybe try to tell them I am someone who just likes to get their freak on. I have always felt privileged that we talked as much as we have in the past. You are a beautiful soul with shining intellect and I truly respect what you say. I hope my explanation shows you that our paradigms are but inches apart, looking at the same coin but you see it as heads and I see it as tails when the indisputable truth is that we are both looking at the same coin. I will continue to sell it to the harsh side. If you practice a fetish, defined by the definitions of a paraphilia, you are a pervert. If you are a pervert, you are socially impaired . . . welcome to our perverted club called the BDSM community. I acknowledge your point of view as valid for you and do not disagree with your selling it to the lighter side and seeing it as "someone who likes to get their freak on." Wave your freak flag high (so all us dirty social impaired perverts can find you).

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 1:20:26 PM)
I'd buy that (no pun intended) if both sides derived their sexual gratification from the transaction. I don't believe the fin dommes do. Of course I could be wrong.

ThePrincessKali -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 7:12:41 PM)
Another rant against Findom!!?? This only happens...oh I don't know, every time the wind changes direction. To me it's the same argument many use against gay marriage or argue that's it's "ruining the sanctity or marriage." Just because it's something you don't enjoy doesn't mean it's invalid or not a "real" fetish just because some psychologist said so. People and ideas are constantly evolving. If it bothers you, don't partake. Simple as that.

ResidentSadist -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 7:39:58 PM)
Coming here and complaining about something I didn’t say won't change the reality of the question I asked. I specifically said exchanging money doesn’t bother me and cited how proDommes receive money for a service definable as a fetish by the DSM. I am sincere in exploring the validity of the fetish aspect for this growing phenomenon, I am not bashing pay piggies or FinDommes, I am saying that it isn’t BDSM. I am asking for someone with the capacity to explain it in valid terms like all other fetishes are. I love that MariaB told a story about some submissive guy giving away envelopes of money to unfamiliar Dommes in real life. That is tangible. But I do beg your forgiveness for my own err. It has occurred to me while rereading my posts I used the term "Finnies". I have never heard a pay piggy or FinDomme use that reference, so that was rude and disrespectful. My bad and my apologies. It biased the ambiance of my post and did not hold to my high minded intent. Upon further reading it also occurred to me I have been misspelling. I think it should be: FinDommery as feminine FinDomry as masculine I thank you all for being so civil in this potentially volatile thread and gracing us with your replies, treating this topic with respect and sincerity. And I politely ask, if fetishes aren't to be defined by psychologists, who then determines what a fetish is, a plumber?

ExiledTyrant -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 7:41:43 PM)
Before psychologists it was medicine men.

JVoV -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 7:54:51 PM)
FR Power exchanges drive the BDSM lifestyle/culture. I would venture to say that anything seen as power can be turned into a kink, in either the giving or receiving of that power/control. Plus $20 is $20.

ThePrincessKali -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 8:33:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist Coming here and complaining about something I didn’t say won't change the reality of the question I asked. I specifically said exchanging money doesn’t bother me and cited how proDommes receive money for a service definable as a fetish by the DSM. I am sincere in exploring the validity of the fetish aspect for this growing phenomenon, I am not bashing pay piggies or FinDommes, I am saying that it isn’t BDSM. I am asking for someone with the capacity to explain it in valid terms like all other fetishes are. I love that MariaB told a story about some submissive guy giving away envelopes of money to unfamiliar Dommes in real life. That is tangible. But I do beg your forgiveness for my own err. It has occurred to me while rereading my posts I used the term "Finnies". I have never heard a pay piggy or FinDomme use that reference, so that was rude and disrespectful. My bad and my apologies. It biased the ambiance of my post and did not hold to my high minded intent. Upon further reading it also occurred to me I have been misspelling. I think it should be: FinDommery as feminine FinDomry as masculine I thank you all for being so civil in this potentially volatile thread and gracing us with your replies, treating this topic with respect and sincerity. And I politely ask, if fetishes aren't to be defined by psychologists, who then determines what a fetish is, a plumber? Why do you feel it has to be defined? That's like asking someone to define love. It has a different meaning for everyone. Some might disagree that men can't love other men. Or that love should mean monogamy so poly relationships can't be based on love. I don't believe either of those to be true but everyone has a different definition of love and what it means to be in love. So why do we need some professional to define it? I feel the same about fetishes. There are also a lot of fetishes that are predominately male driven. So say a man has a fetish, his girlfriend/wife/play partner/etc indulges in it. She may not be sexually aroused by it but she does it because making him happy makes her happy or vice versa. Both peopl are satisfied. I can say with honesty that I don't think about someone buying my shoes while I'm having sex nor do I get sexually aroused when I recieve a package but I do get happy and excited. I enjoy power and being in power is something that I find to be sexually exciting. So I suppose the overall power exchange is the fetish. But getting gifts makes me happy. And going back to my earlier statement, there are men who are extremely sexually aroused by giving money to women. So for them it's a fetish. And if getting money or gifts makes that woman happy then so be it. Just because it's a male driven fetish for the most part doesn't make it invalid. And again both parties are satisfied. So that's why I feel it is a real fetish.

ResidentSadist -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 8:54:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Before psychologists it was medicine men. Let me get this straight... are you telling me we should go ask this half naked guy in feathers, beads and face-paint about the psychology of financial domination? I know you lean to the primal side and I bet his answer would be awesome, from a down to earth human nature perspective and probably enlightening . . . but, I don't think there is an ATM anywhere near that guy. But that was probably your point wasn't it? [image]http://www.consumerwarningnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/australia-medicine-man.jpg[/image] I had trouble understanding why adult babies got under the BDSM umbrella because they have nothing to do with leather or BDSM. I seriously explored it and it only made sense to me after I adjusted my perspective of our BDSM umbrella to include other sister fetishes, leather or not. The BDSM community is adopting a broader kinkster umbrella lately. The pay pig (PP) and their financial domination (FD) phenomena may eventually end up adopted by our BDSM community in the same way. I would dislike it if it were shoved on us in under a false pretense, the same way the misused and abused SSC credo was. I say misused because the guy who wrote it said it was taken out of context and misused by the community for a different intent than it was written. He apologized for writing it and wished he never had. CollarMe had 75,000 unique visits and 1,900,000 page views daily. CollarChat has 25% of that traffic with over 190,000 pages indexed by search engines providing BDSM information to visitors. That is the equivalent attendance of a dozen leather conventions daily. People attend these forums to learn, all those silent people in the rafters of which there are 2,526 surfing this web right now. We are one of the biggest BDSM voices on the internet and just like the keynote speakers and the workshop teachers at a leather convention, we are teaching our audience about BDSM. So we should speak truthfully, say what we mean and mean what we say. All this bullshit about how nothing has any true meaning except that which you attach to it personally, doesn't help our audience or meet the scientific criteria of an answer. So letting plumbers, pay pigs or FinDommes define what is or isn't a fetish based on opinion instead of psychological facts is an injustice to our very large forum audience. We could probably do far worse than letting your medicine man have a shot at the answer... but nonetheless, I would love hear from someone that understands what a fetish is and have them shed some light.

Gauge -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/12/2015 8:56:50 PM)
This is a fast reply. I remember at one time a really, really bad volley ball game for the Sega game system that featured barely bikini clad, computer generated, suntanned, big breasted young women that played volley ball. I remember seeing the game and wondering about the people who would buy such a game, when the game mechanics and gameplay were so horrid, yet the scenery was sexually enticing... the game sold well enough for them to make several terrible sequels. For my money, I would have rather seen pictures of real women in bikinis, or gotten a porn magazine, but that is just me. What the hell does that have to do with anything? Well, obviously the market supported sales of the video game, and the target audience was certainly the raging hormone brigade of pimply teenagers everywhere, and the other semi-reclusive/lonely/shy guys that wanted a vicarious thrill. I see financial domination in much the same light; the goal and the target audience are nearly the same save for a few, obvious details. If there were not a market for it, it would not exist. Is it a kink? How the hell should I know? This is why I am kind of neutral on the subject. As far as financial domination's advent on the Internet is concerned, lots of things didn't exist before the reality of an accessible Internet. Maybe it is a new kink birthed out of the tender loins of the Internet... or maybe it is a way for other people to get money from guys that just want to beat off, either way it falls I remain neutral to it. Certainly the Internet has opened the door to interactions that were not previously possible before, so maybe the Internet facilitates access to those certain people that hold this as a kink, or maybe it isn't. What comes after this is my own speculation and is not indicative of a bias or judgment. The way I see it, I have a difficult time defining this as a kink in a similar way that I could clearly define rope bondage or breath play or watersports. This arena (financial domination) lends itself toward the easy access to kink, kind of like a fast food drive through for those that harbor kinky tendencies but have limited access or time to pursue a more substantial relationship. Going to see a professional dominant takes a commitment of time and energy, whereas a quick $50 or whatever would provide someone with a fast email laden with empty and fluffy kinky calories and allow them to be satisfied and still provide a level of potentially desired anonymity. Again, I reiterate, this is not a judgment. What I would really like to hear is the other side of things, the financial submissive... the one party that is the least heard from on these forums. It seems that the majority of folks that pipe up about this particular tempestuous topic are those that receive the money, and there is very little, if any, from the other side of the... wallet. So how about it? Any financial submissives out there willing to jump into the fray? Edited for a bit of clarity.

MariaB -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/13/2015 3:43:58 AM)
RS...The PP I was talking about puts £10 in an envelope but keep in mind, there are probably over two hundred Dommes in that club and he has a sack full of envelopes. The main similarity between a pro and a fin is, they both get material gain from doing what they do. The fin Domme has to work a lot harder in the office and the pro Domme has to work harder in the shop. The fin Domme has to get used to constant rejection, the pro Domme has to wait for the contacts to fall into her lap. The pro Domme tends to look at her set up as business, a fin Domme (at least they tell us this) do it purely for their own pleasure. Now its the pleasure bit I don’t get because if I had to copy and paste hundreds of introductory letters into a potentially uninterested mail list, (the only qualifying criteria is they are male submissives) then I would expect, at best, a 1% return but I would also expect a fairly large amount of hate mail back in my in box. Why would I put myself through tedious and possibly depressing task if I really felt I was a Goddess who deserved to be worshipped? I’m sure that amongst the thousands of fin Dommes we have on the internet, a number of them really do have this as a fetish/kink but I believe its only a small number and that most have just jumped on the money making band wagon. The fin Dommes who bother to invest in an all singing all dancing website and who gives a submissive male genuine attention in return for that money/gift, are the genuine fin Dommes amongst us and because submissive men find them rather than the other way round, their worth/value remains intact and can therefore be a turn on.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/13/2015 4:13:24 AM)
How do you feel about: Strippers Cam girls Peep shows Sex shows Porn I don't feel that any of them, Fin/pig as well, has anything to do with BDSM, but were you have deviant minds you'll have deviants. That'll be $20.00, please and thank you.

NookieNotes -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/13/2015 6:14:20 AM)
I guess I don't see why it matters. If people want to do it, then they should be allowed to do it. Not necessarily on this site, if the rules are against it, but I don't see a point in railing against it. What others do in their personal lives and their decisions are not my concern. That they are free to make those decisions (however harmful they may be) is.

MariaB -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/13/2015 7:45:20 AM)
This is an interesting read. A third of the way down it says: Even in the world of online BDSM, where pretty much anything goes as long as it’s safe and consensual — enforced chastity, cock-and-ball torture, even fart fetishes — there’s an element of financial domination that strikes many as unsavoury or taboo. “No one talks about it, and no one really wants to talk about it,” I think we do try to talk about it but its such a dodgy subject because 'we' the BDSM/fetish crowd are supposed to be so tolerant.

ThePrincessKali -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/13/2015 7:52:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB RS...The PP I was talking about puts £10 in an envelope but keep in mind, there are probably over two hundred Dommes in that club and he has a sack full of envelopes. The main similarity between a pro and a fin is, they both get material gain from doing what they do. The fin Domme has to work a lot harder in the office and the pro Domme has to work harder in the shop. The fin Domme has to get used to constant rejection, the pro Domme has to wait for the contacts to fall into her lap. The pro Domme tends to look at her set up as business, a fin Domme (at least they tell us this) do it purely for their own pleasure. Now its the pleasure bit I don’t get because if I had to copy and paste hundreds of introductory letters into a potentially uninterested mail list, (the only qualifying criteria is they are male submissives) then I would expect, at best, a 1% return but I would also expect a fairly large amount of hate mail back in my in box. Why would I put myself through tedious and possibly depressing task if I really felt I was a Goddess who deserved to be worshipped? I’m sure that amongst the thousands of fin Dommes we have on the internet, a number of them really do have this as a fetish/kink but I believe its only a small number and that most have just jumped on the money making band wagon. The fin Dommes who bother to invest in an all singing all dancing website and who gives a submissive male genuine attention in return for that money/gift, are the genuine fin Dommes amongst us and because submissive men find them rather than the other way round, their worth/value remains intact and can therefore be a turn on. I'm a Fin Domme and I've been on this site for a few years now. I almost never send out the first message to potential submissives. I've maybe done it a dozen or so times since I've been on here and it was because their profile very specifically said they were seeking the same thing as me. I wrote an individual letter to them, not a copy and paste one. But 99.9% of the time they come to us. Maybe there are girls sending out thousands of copy/paste letters to every single submissibe man on this site but If they are its news to me. I've talked to many other Fin Dommes who have said the same. I do, however, get hundreds of copy/paste messages from men asking me if I'll look at their embarrassing photos or something. So I suppose it goes both ways.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/13/2015 7:57:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThePrincessKali quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB RS...The PP I was talking about puts £10 in an envelope but keep in mind, there are probably over two hundred Dommes in that club and he has a sack full of envelopes. The main similarity between a pro and a fin is, they both get material gain from doing what they do. The fin Domme has to work a lot harder in the office and the pro Domme has to work harder in the shop. The fin Domme has to get used to constant rejection, the pro Domme has to wait for the contacts to fall into her lap. The pro Domme tends to look at her set up as business, a fin Domme (at least they tell us this) do it purely for their own pleasure. Now its the pleasure bit I don’t get because if I had to copy and paste hundreds of introductory letters into a potentially uninterested mail list, (the only qualifying criteria is they are male submissives) then I would expect, at best, a 1% return but I would also expect a fairly large amount of hate mail back in my in box. Why would I put myself through tedious and possibly depressing task if I really felt I was a Goddess who deserved to be worshipped? I’m sure that amongst the thousands of fin Dommes we have on the internet, a number of them really do have this as a fetish/kink but I believe its only a small number and that most have just jumped on the money making band wagon. The fin Dommes who bother to invest in an all singing all dancing website and who gives a submissive male genuine attention in return for that money/gift, are the genuine fin Dommes amongst us and because submissive men find them rather than the other way round, their worth/value remains intact and can therefore be a turn on. I'm a Fin Domme and I've been on this site for a few years now. I almost never send out the first message to potential submissives. I've maybe done it a dozen or so times since I've been on here and it was because their profile very specifically said they were seeking the same thing as me. I wrote an individual letter to them, not a copy and paste one. But 99.9% of the time they come to us. Maybe there are girls sending out thousands of copy/paste letters to every single submissibe man on this site but If they are its news to me. I've talked to many other Fin Dommes who have said the same. I do, however, get hundreds of copy/paste messages from men asking me if I'll look at their embarrassing photos or something. So I suppose it goes both ways. Kali, it is not necessary for you to defend yourself. I have no issue with wot you do and anyone taking issue with wot you do should not be your concern either. You do not have victims, you have volunteers... that's good enuff for me.

ResidentSadist -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/13/2015 8:04:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NookieNotes I guess I don't see why it matters. If people want to do it, then they should be allowed to do it. Not necessarily on this site, if the rules are against it, but I don't see a point in railing against it. What others do in their personal lives and their decisions are not my concern. That they are free to make those decisions (however harmful they may be) is. Hi ya, I am not actually railing against it. I see this becoming more and more prevalent and it is flying the under the BDSM banner. So I ask, like I would any visitor to my house, who are you? I looked to find their fetish, how it works and how they fit into our BDSM community but found no references other than their own. I just want to see how this is part of BDSM . . . asking why they are here not elsewhere. I don't care that they do what they do. I care that we call a spade a spade. I don't even think it is a harmful practice, except to those who are mentally unbalanced and can't budget their pleasures accordingly. Giving money to girls is an age old practice. Financial domination seems much more innocuous than practices like drug use, predation or prostitution which I feel is mostly harmless. Those all hid in our community under false pretense at one time until exposed. At one time drug use, prostitution and predation were so rampant David Stein wrote a safe practices speech and coined the term SSC. I see the practice of financial domination adopting our BDSM banner and simply ask how it is a BDSM fetish before we let this one in the door because it seems it isn't defined as a fetish by any of the sources we normally use to define fetishes. That may change in the future. The more I look at this and read about the extreme cases of addictive personalities that had problems with it, it seems their problems were rooted in self esteem and they were drawn in by the humiliation. So if humiliation is the root of it for most FD participants, I would understand it as a fetish. Just like a proDomme, they are providing a humiliation service. So far we have had glimmer of insight about the power exchange aspect (thank you for your reply): "I don't think about someone buying my shoes while I'm having sex nor do I get sexually aroused when I recieve a package but I do get happy and excited. I enjoy power and being in power is something that I find to be sexually exciting. So I suppose the overall power exchange is the fetish." Like Guage, I await the voices of more participants who have an understanding of what a fetish is so they can articulate it further for us. The biggest obstacle I see is that like the proDomme arena, you also have several business women who only got involved because they are motivated by earning money. Pretending to be a Domme to earn cash is worlds apart from a Domme that makes money doing what she loves and is already motivated by the BDSM aspects of it. Unfortunately financial domination is cash-centric, doesn't require intimate personal contact and that makes it more appealing and easier for those only motivated by the business opportunity. Their presence makes it even harder to weed through and find the fetish aspect because for them, there is no fetish, it's strictly a business.

littleladybug -> RE: -=Money Pigs/FinDomery - real fetish or fake? (soapbox)=- (4/13/2015 8:18:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NookieNotes I guess I don't see why it matters. If people want to do it, then they should be allowed to do it. Not necessarily on this site, if the rules are against it, but I don't see a point in railing against it. What others do in their personal lives and their decisions are not my concern. This is pretty much my view on it. --- Is something like this not "real" or "acceptable" because it's pretty much relegated to online? Where would the line be drawn then? Is something really not a kink because one cannot see a demo of it in real time, or if it's done without the parties being in the same room? I don't profess to be an expert on the subject, but it's my understanding that the DSM is not necessarily the "be all, end all" on this subject. shrug At the end of the day, whatever someone chooses to do is not my business. Certainly, I'm not the judge and jury as to what constitutes a "valid fetish". And I'm not sure that anyone else is either.

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