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ORIGINAL: Anchises
So, it's not like you're a switch all the time - you're actually either one or the other - so how do you write a profile that is both effectively?

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Plus, from the other side, it seems there are those looking for submissives who aren't looking for switches.
Likewise, those searching for dominants may not be entering switch in their search engine.

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So, logistically, it seems being one or the other is better statistically, for finding a potential partner. But, I contrast writing a submissive-only profile versus a switch profile for sheer truthfulness reasons.

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How do you manage the dilemma?

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ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
I am dominant in my relationships, and I switch at activities. That never changes.

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ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
Because some people don't want switches. Why would you then try to hide it?

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That's why I'm asking.
It's not something to hide, but it complicates a profile.
In essence, a truthful profile would, by necessity, require two wholly different profiles in one.
That's hard to write, and, I dare say, even harder for someone else to comprehend.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

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ORIGINAL: Anchises
That's why I'm asking.
It's not something to hide, but it complicates a profile.
In essence, a truthful profile would, by necessity, require two wholly different profiles in one.
That's hard to write, and, I dare say, even harder for someone else to comprehend.

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ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

I don't find anything complicated about switches, any more than I find anything complicated about bisexuals.
(But I may be biased.)

It sounds like you're too worried about making yourself look better to people who aren't potentially interested in what you have to offer. Stop that. They're not your target audience.

Not only that, but for any man on line approaching a woman, you don't ever want to appear as if you are trying to be deceptive. If we sense you're hiding something, that you're married and just looking to fool around, more women than not will immediately become suspicious of you. Giving more justification for us to doubt your sincerity will get you deep-sixed in a heartbeat.

Now, if you (plural) actually are a married cheater or a playa, and/or you actually are playing the field and hedging your bets trying to get A woman, ANY woman interested in you for an NSA rendezvous, then play your little wannabe Dom-switch-sub games to alert us to the shallowness of your intentions.

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ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

. . . You look like yet another dudebro trying to get his rocks off any way possible.

I recommend keeping one profile, making your switch tendencies known, and going from there.

So you won't get the people who aren't looking for switches. That's because these people aren't interested in switches. Making two profiles hides your switch tendencies and you're being dishonest with your partner from the start. If she's not interested in a switch, she has a right to be, and you should respect that preference.

When I had a Domme profile, it bothered me when men approached me with both profiles, or when a switch who came up on my viewing list suddenly became a sub with his intro message, touting the subbliness of his "x" no. of years experiences. I could often connect the dots, and if I had to inquire about both profiles before someone disclosed this in advance, then that was already a strike against him.

I will admit there was a time when I wouldn't have considered a switch for all the tea in China. This was because at least 40% of them were bisexual and/or poly, and that wasn't what I wanted; the rest were suspect. Why? They wanted "forced" bi or were primarily interested in getting pegged and being some Dominant woman's bitch (their terminology at first, not mine). In other words, they weren't much different than the male Doms who occasionally contacted me because they wanted to get Topped and had no intention of forming an enduring relationship of any kind -- other than that of BDSM bottom play partner on the side.

Then I made friends with a few switches who weren't like that, and I discovered that there are many different kinds of switches. I also made friends with a few male Doms who weren't sadistic and learned they did not enjoy acting the part of a service Top, but didn't want to get lumped into the male switch category. So while I don't want a male Dom, I came to see that some of them have switch tendencies and aren't seeking a one-sided D/s, or tried it out and found out that this wasn't what they actually wanted. (Then there are those who think that calling themselves a Dom will get them instant nookie and bj's on demand, but that's beside the point.)

I wholeheartedly identify with tj444 in a post she made recently (except I can't recall on which thread, and to paraphrase) that she's Dominant in her intimate relationships but not hard core into BDSM, so she calls herself a switch. I couldn't find what I was looking for as a Domme, and both times I found compatible subs (who weren't hiding shit from me that would make us an unsuitable match) were on vanilla dating sites. Like tj, I don't actually switch my D/s orientation to being submissive or have any desire to be dominated -- hell no. It has taken well over a year of soul-searching for me to finally come to terms with giving myself the latitude to just. be. me. Personally, I haven't completed transitioned away from noting in much older profile(s) that I seek a long-term FLR and only just took out my D/s references on a couple of other dating sites, because I still do want my man to have submissive characteristics.

The problem I've run into with having a switch profile here is that my Interests list can be misconstrued, and having to clear that up causes communications to become overly sexual in content. That's one big drawback which is nearly unavoidable.
Dunno if that helps you any, OP.

DreamLady

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ORIGINAL: Anchises

But, it's hard to make a truthful single profile, since, it seems, the two personalities don't exist at the same time.
It's either one, or the other - depending on mood and circumstance.

So, it's not like you're a switch all the time - you're actually either one or the other - so how do you write a profile that is both effectively?

quote:

Plus, from the other side, it seems there are those looking for submissives who aren't looking for switches.
Likewise, those searching for dominants may not be entering switch in their search engine.

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ORIGINAL: Anchises

To those of you who switch, do you find it better overall to maintain a single switch profile, or do you find it best to manage a duality, one as a switch, while the other as a submissive?

The advantage of one profile, of course, is that's it's easier to maintain and respond.
But, it's hard to make a truthful single profile, since, it seems, the two personalities don't exist at the same time.
It's either one, or the other - depending on mood and circumstance.

So, it's not like you're a switch all the time - you're actually either one or the other - so how do you write a profile that is both effectively?

Plus, from the other side, it seems there are those looking for submissives who aren't looking for switches.
Likewise, those searching for dominants may not be entering switch in their search engine.

Then there are the pure logistics of a male seeking a female.
A rough test search shows vastly more women searching for either dominants or submissives, than those searching for switches.

So, logistically, it seems being one or the other is better statistically, for finding a potential partner. But, I contrast writing a submissive-only profile versus a switch profile for sheer truthfulness reasons.

How do you manage the dilemma?

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ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
A) Peanut butter first.
B) Jelly first.

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ORIGINAL: Anchises

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ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
A) Peanut butter first.
B) Jelly first.

Most of the time I put the peanut button on first, and, then, with the same butter knife (yes, I know), I lavishly spread on the jelly on top of the peanut butter, and then slam the gooey mess shut with a clean slice of bread.

However, sometimes I pop the peanut butter onto one slice, and put mountains of jelly on the other slice using two different butter knives, which is mostly when I'm having multiple sandwiches. Again, I pop them together, and eat the gooey mess but now the knives are ready for a second sandwich.

I had never before thought about which goes first in the latter case, and, truth be told, I think it's random which slice of bread gets the jelly first versus which slice of bread gets the peanut butter.

However, in the case of jelly on top of the peanut butter in the former case, it's always peanut butter first.

Did I pass, or fail?

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ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

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ORIGINAL: Anchises

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ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant
A) Peanut butter first.
B) Jelly first.

Most of the time I put the peanut button on first, and, then, with the same butter knife (yes, I know), I lavishly spread on the jelly on top of the peanut butter, and then slam the gooey mess shut with a clean slice of bread.

However, sometimes I pop the peanut butter onto one slice, and put mountains of jelly on the other slice using two different butter knives, which is mostly when I'm having multiple sandwiches. Again, I pop them together, and eat the gooey mess but now the knives are ready for a second sandwich.

I had never before thought about which goes first in the latter case, and, truth be told, I think it's random which slice of bread gets the jelly first versus which slice of bread gets the peanut butter.

However, in the case of jelly on top of the peanut butter in the former case, it's always peanut butter first.

Did I pass, or fail?

We all can guess the answer :)