Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/3/2015 8:33:17 AM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline 		Wife, porn or mistress/hooker?

You categorize women in a very interesting manner, for which I was speaking about earlier in this thread. Some of us don't wish to be placed in the wife category anymore than we would want the other choices. Is one of those supposed to be better? Are women to be placed in little categories by males and the poor behavior of some in society, keeping a woman in her place by telling her which is better and what her choices are?

Not anymore sweetheart. Many females play and cater to the lowest element because in my opinion, they are lazy and really don't think much about themselves. Not all women will allow anyone to put them in a category and will stand and work our way to our own goals and comfort zone. As a dominant woman, I decide what will happen in my life and I don't fit into those good girl, bad girl slots some have tried to continue to place females in.

You just gave an example of the fact that you know little about dominant women and and the kneeling or submissive position means little. Its a game. A kinky game that a woman might volunteer for, but few dominant women would accept. Even if I am reading what you said off kilter, just reading those words pertaining to a category is disturbing to see in a male. What woman is solely one dimensional?

Mia

< Message edited by MiaCastle -- 6/3/2015 8:53:49 AM >

(in reply to subinsilicon)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/3/2015 11:11:14 PM   
dreamlady


Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle

Wife, porn or mistress/hooker?
---
You categorize women in a very interesting manner, for which I was speaking about earlier in this thread. . . .

As a dominant woman, I decide what will happen in my life and I don't fit into those good girl, bad girl slots some have tried to continue to place females in.

It's the age-old Madonna/Whore complex reinvented, over and over again.

I'm also starting to think of this whole chastity/Keyholder business as a fetish expression of these sexual hang-ups, and many males both young and older seem to gravitate towards this practice as a lifestyle in itself. There seems to be just as much a compulsion for it with young newbie subs as there is with middle-aged subs, some seniors who were conditioned to be more of a service slave (non-primary, sub on the side) whose sexual services weren't wanted.

I have heard of being put in chastity as a form of bondage. I won't argue that point.

Back to archaically convoluted concepts of female sexuality, there seems to be a high percentage of male subs who have internalized the "slut" moniker for themselves, who want to act out and be treated like a slut, or else have their "slutty" urges governed over via chastity confinement. This is one of the first red flags for me to avoid this kind of "sub." Ime, the common denominator is that deep-down they regard not just themselves, but all women who are not chaste in their eyes, as being sluts along with them. Rather than respecting Dominant women, they have no real submission to give unless it is "forced" out of them. In other words, they are bitches with a small "b" and expect every Domme to act like a Bitch with a large "B." That's what gets their rocks off in both of their heads.

DreamLady

(in reply to MiaCastle)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/4/2015 1:44:37 AM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline 		I call bull. Sounds like he just wants wank material.

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/4/2015 8:36:16 PM   
FriendlyMuppet


Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline 		This is why, when dating, I generally only date women who are both dominant and into bdsm. I know it's very much a part of me, and even though I could turn it off to support a vanilla relationship, I've just never seen the advantage of doing that. Strangely enough, in the past when I DID try to pursue a relationship that wasn't involving bdsm, it somehow turned into a bdsm one once my "past" was discovered and the person I was seeing became intrigued by the idea. So I guess I've always attracted the type of woman who would be into that sort of thing, even if she wasn't announcing she was into it when we first started seeing each other. But these days, I don't even pursue anything if I see she's completely against anything bdsm related. It's almost like being religious and finding out the person you're dating is completely against your religion and adamant about you ever practicing it again.

_____________________________

My Novels:
The Cell's Door: http://amzn.to/19I6VA1
Forced to Serve: http://amzn.to/108DByv

(in reply to subinsilicon)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 5:57:25 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Ok, I get it now. I wasn't speaking about the entire spectrum of chastity practices, but without getting into a male vs. female gender debate, or how F/m differs from M/f, I'll keep to the salient points below.
Btw, a cockcage is not a bondage prop.

By all means, explain how that's not exactly what it is.


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
There is a huge difference between male chastity and female chastity.

There does seem to be an innie vs outie thing going on


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Unless a Mistress has multiple male subs, she isn't going to be able to always get coital sex whenever she wants it (since there are anatomical hindrances and ejaculatory recovery time), nor do I know of a single Domme who wants penile penetration from every one of her male subs.

If ejaculatory recovery time's getting in the way of coital sex whenever she wants, my first question is why is she letting him cum at time's that are inconvenient for her?


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
There could be an exception here and there, but for the most part this is reserved for her primary partner or as part of a Cuckoldress arrangement. In other words, a Domme isn't ordinarily keeping her subs in chastity for the express purpose of copulating with them on demand. It doesn't work that way.

There's nothing about chastity that requires poly or cuckholding. The chastity fetish does exist in monogamous relationships.


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
In fact, the longtime male chastity slaves I've spoken with have lost their ability to perform sexually with being able to get and maintain a usable erection. (They don't act like it matters much because they'd rather be an oral slave and/or perform foot worship.)

Are we talking real people or internet wank profiles?


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Theoretically, a woman is capable of having sex non-stop until she is too sore to do so, because there is no physiological readiness barrier to that possibility.

Yes men experience a refractory period after orgasm, which as I understand it is a big part of the appeal of orgasm control from your side of things.


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Women in chastity do not require milkings either.

As I understand it that's a separate fetish and isn't required for chastity.


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
A male Dom will not normally keep his female sub in chastity in order to prevent having sex with her, but this is not uncommon with a male sub where his service to a Domme prohibits varying degrees of sexual contact (other than the physical contact necessary for him to get milked on a regular basis, if applicable).

Tease and denial don't only exist on your side of things.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
It could be part of the arrangement a female non-sexual service sub has with her Master to be kept in chastity, but I personally haven't heard of it. She could want to be denied or prohibited from masturbating, but orgasm control via mental domination, without the implementation of a chastity belt.

There may be a similar motivation, the sub's desire to feel controlled, monitored and regulated, but my personal opinion is that when it comes to male orgasm control with one's primary sexual partner, using a chastity device is an inferior method of conducting D/s. Inferior, in that it relies upon an external mechanism, rather than a strictly internally driven mindset due to having a compliant, submissive disposition. By the same token, I consider maintenance beatings and having a punishment dynamic to be an inferior method of practicing M/s. Most Dominant women I know do not want to have to play prison warden 24/7 over their charge like a ball & chain, and definitely not over their mate.

And now we're back to the handcuff analogy, you've engaged in bondage so your relationship's inferior right?

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
I don't know about female chastity slaves, but males are notorious for cheating and finding ways to get off. Many have a que sera sera attitude about cheating and then confessing, figuring that they'll simply take whatever punishment their Mistress decides to dole out. Why would I want a sub who basically needs to be constantly disciplined because he lacks enough self-control to comply with my wishes? I believe that this practice with males breeds disobedience and sneakiness, rather than reinforcing obedience to his Mistress.

You can do that with anything, take the worst examples, misapply to all instances and anything would sound terrible.

Cars are notorious for crashes, so why would anyone want to use a death trap.


(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 6:08:06 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subinsilicon
I think chastity could be considered ncompatible with the definition of being male.


While living in a glass house should you really be throwing stones?

(in reply to subinsilicon)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 9:10:06 AM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline 		Look how what a woman says about how she views things and what she wants and check out those that oppose her. Rather interesting.

Now before some of you think I'm a woman that is stuck on how women have been victimized, let me tell you that I have rarely been in this capacity. As I look back, I can see many times when men tried to personally involve me in their ever so manly ways of putting a woman in her place and I took my personal power and dealt with them, each and every time. No one makes me feel anything, much less do anything that I don't want to do and I do not have to justify why this is. It is because I want it to be.

I like to get some. I like to get some all the time. This makes me incompatible with a chastity seeker. A man that claims to be great at oral is common. Very common, too common and what I have found is that most of them are all talk. They are good with the tongue if they engage their brain, but if it was engaged, they wouldn't go around claiming they are good at oral as if that is the end all of all great things. After oral, they better be able to give me some without a pause, I want it now! I like it morning, noon and night, but once a day is the minimum unless someone is sick, overworked and life gets in the way. Oral, I can nearly live without. Why tongue when you can have that wonderful male sword piercing into you? Deny myself because he wants to play denial games and focus on his dick, while his wants and body parts dictate what I get?

No. Absolutely not. I am not frigid as many used to claim if a woman didn't put out. It couldn't have been that he was an ape, but the fault had to be her's. Many mama's on wedding days told their daughters to 'make him happy'. This mama told her offspring to make sex a joyful part of their relationships and to the boys, if you don't make her happy, you know I will be standing there and to the girls, I told them that they have just as much right to enjoy sex and to go make themselves happy. To both I built it all through the years. It takes two to make a relationship and one can break it. Don't be the one. Be fair, be honest, don't keep score and have as much sex as you can. Make it so you don't want to keep your hands off of one another and that takes substance throughout life. If someone doesn't want to do it, something may be wrong and needs some attention.

These are my personal opinions. I haven't yet found many men that like to challenge that more than once, but I am sure someone around here will. You have no right to tell me how I feel or how I should. You can try, but you would be wrong. My opinions work for me and my partners and if they ever don't, we do what we need to do. I don't expect my men to give up anything to be with me. I want them to flourish and be enhanced by our relationship and by me. What works for us, is ours and if someone doesn't like it, that is fine, just don't try to tell me I'm wrong about my own sex life and how I want it to be or tell me I am somehow out of line. Your opinion at that point has no power, no place other than with you or anyone that agrees with you. You won't change my mind and I don't care what you have to say.

Submissive men can be strong men. In fact, in many ways I can find them stronger men than others. Disrespect a submissive man in front of me and you will hear about it. That's in person. On a message board it depends on how I feel in the moment. If I take this stance, then I couldn't go for a worm or a man that wants me to do what he likes in downgrading him, humiliating him and all those things that many others enjoy. They may enjoy them all they want, they just won't be enjoying them with me. That should be fine.

If I see a red flag, it's nobody's business to call me to task about it. It is my red flag. No use fighting me over it. I won't. It's mine, go find something else to do. I see many seekers of a focus on their cocks and desires, often called chastity, that offer me this as if it is a gift they provide when actually it is work I am set up to do if I accept. I won't. I don't want that and nobody has a thing to say about it. As long as I am not hurting anyone and it is my life after all, I will do what I want and anything you think you can say about how I view things or am out of line, you might as well keep it to yourself unless you just like spouting off to spout.

I may be someone's red flag. That's fine. Don't mess with mine and chastity seekers are red flags to me because of the self focus. They don't make good partners for women like me, for many reasons, but we shouldn't have to validate our reasons. They are valid because they are ours.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 10:37:54 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle
Deny myself because he wants to play denial games and focus on his dick, while his wants and body parts dictate what I get?


A healthy D/s relationship involving chastity should NOT work like that.



(in reply to MiaCastle)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 10:44:18 AM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle
Deny myself because he wants to play denial games and focus on his dick, while his wants and body parts dictate what I get?


A healthy D/s relationship involving chastity should NOT work like that.






You are good at finding what you consider fault or how it shouldn't be. Why don't you try sharing with us, how it works in your view? Just finding fault with how others do things isn't conversation, so share your brilliance. Putting women on the defensive seems to be your particular talent. I won't rise to it too much, but am willing to point out that you haven't shared how things can actually work, just rebuttal or challenge to some women.

Share or stop being a thread pest.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 1:02:38 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle
You are good at finding what you consider fault or how it shouldn't be. Why don't you try sharing with us, how it works in your view? Just finding fault with how others do things isn't conversation, so share your brilliance. Putting women on the defensive seems to be your particular talent. I won't rise to it too much, but am willing to point out that you haven't shared how things can actually work, just rebuttal or challenge to some women.

Share or stop being a thread pest.


1. I know not everybody reads every post but I've been explaining the dynamic in a healthy relationship and it's not like this is a long thread. You really should look what I'm saying over before claiming it doesn't exist.

2. My actions aren't because you're a women (way to take the high road by the way). They're because you're trashtalking my lifestyle.

I mean if someone started talking bullshit about your lifestyle based on bad internet stereotypes would you keep quiet or speak up?

3. The whole it being all about them fixation that you're complaining about isn't a gender thing, it's a newb subfrenzy thing. You can read about the same stuff happening with female subs over at beltedgirls. Here for instance is a lady realizing that she's fucking up by doing the stuff you're complaing about:


quote:

ORIGINAL: http://www.beltedgirls.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=158
I can't do this alone anymore. "Alone" means in my really REAL physical life, in my touching space, my eye-to-eye personal energy spaces with people I can touch, see, smell, read their body language and snuggle against his strong chest. That kind of real is not present with this chastity stuff. Instead, I have fake internet ersatz un-real pixelated parodies of life and emotional well-being. In the banquet of LIFE, internet stuff is just a picture of food on a napkin, not even a morsel! I'm ravenous for the meal and I do not want to wait any longer.

I want a relationship with a real man in real life. I love wearing a chastity belt, but I want a real relationship more than a belt.

I just feel too stupid doing this. I've met a man who thinks I'm a retard for doing this when we could be having wonderful sex IN REAL LIFE. Gratifying, emotionally connective and relationship building intimacy. Instead, I'm fuckin' around with a chastity belt. what am I doing other than being an idiot???

So what am I doing with this chastity thing? More to point, WHO AM I DOING IT FOR??? My boyfriend has no interest in it and he made me feel like a #1 idiot last night with the dressing down talking to I got. He asked me pointed questions that I positively did not have good answers for. He shamed me and put me to silence over this. I hate that. I seriously hate that.

Yes, I've shown I can wear a belt. But...so what? For whom? For me? that is super stupid. For some people on the internet? even MORE stupid! For my boyfriend? um NO! he does not want this. It pisses him off even more than he is not holding the key to it (he is a traditional man with old values and attitudes very dominant and feels shorted, cannot blame him)

Chastity does not work alone, and does not work in relationship where the man does not want it. I cannot see two ways about it.

This makes me very sad, but that is just the way things are, I guess. There is no winner in this game and I do not get to set the rules.

I need a break from this and clear my head and decide what is most important to me. Perhaps this is why not many women are into chastity belts...


(in reply to MiaCastle)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 1:16:58 PM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline 		Whew whooo whooo! I will need to get back to you on that one. I didn't say it didn't exist. You talk of healthy relationships a few times but you don't say how they work, day to day type of thing.

We gave our opinions and you have your own. The chastity seekers we have experienced as dominant women are what we base our opinions on. If you have a different opinion, you are welcome to it. You still haven't said how it is different for you in your lifestyle, just came after women for their opinions and experiences.

I need to do a report for my partner, but will be back.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 3:59:42 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle
Whew whooo whooo! I will need to get back to you on that one. I didn't say it didn't exist. You talk of healthy relationships a few times but you don't say how they work, day to day type of thing.

Well there isn't just one way, I've given the cliff notes version of my relationship and I'm trying to track down where prya talks about getting back into chastity with her boyfriend now fiance. In the meantime here's the cliff notes version of Kelly's journey to tide you over: http://www.beltedgirls.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=311


quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle
We gave our opinions and you have your own. The chastity seekers we have experienced as dominant women are what we base our opinions on. If you have a different opinion, you are welcome to it. You still haven't said how it is different for you in your lifestyle, just came after women for their opinions and experiences.

I need to do a report for my partner, but will be back.


1. What experience? I mean I've "experienced" Nigerian pay princesses bullshiting on this site so can I legitimately trashtalk the femdom lifestyle based on that?

2. I don't get what this "coming after women" thing of yours is. Personally I'm equal opportunity when it comes to sticking up for my lifestyle to people who are trashing it.

(in reply to MiaCastle)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/5/2015 7:00:32 PM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline 		GotSteel,

You are a male dom coming to scold female doms on how things go and use your own relationship as proof of something?

First of all, you linked to a website about women in chastity and state that the same things apply for male submissives and femdoms. Its the same right? How many submissive males have approached you, or that you have known and had a relationship with? Men and women in similar situations will do the same things? Then you call what happens sub frenzy? ROFL

How long does sub frenzy supposedly last? More than a couple of months, I call poor behavior and focused on self rather than the relationship and what is good for it and then of course the other person. Somebody in a relationship with someone in sub frenzy? How about being smarter than that and just not enter while the frenzy is going on?

Or are we femdoms to be knights in armor saving all the damsels or dudsels from themselves, holding their hand until they are in their right mind, while they are in a frenzy that overrides emotional balance and their knight? Shall we start relationships with people not in their right mind or in a sound place emotionally?

“Oh, you're excused honey bunny, I know it is all new to you and you are so excited about this fetish you want, the desires and it all runs all the blood from your brain. Stick with me honey bunny, I can save you.” As the knight tweaks a nipple and winks. “I'll be dom to your sub frenzy and understanding daddy/mommy, while you can only think of your pussy/dick, until you feel so accepted by me that you will overcome your frenzy and finally see me beyond your fetish.”

Why would I want to do that? My tune would sound more like this: “When you pass through that maze of sub frenzy, you might find a dominant of worth, but until then, this dominant of worth is passing. Good luck to you.”

You claim that we have trashed mouthed your lifestyle. That is untrue. We have bashed people in sub frenzy as you call it or that live there, that expect us to cater to their kink that is placed above us. Then you tell us that isn't the way of it in a few ways. You are coming from a male perspective and telling women how it can work, it really really can and you are living proof of it and that proof is in the form of a male dom and a female submissive. God, you are a funny man, unfortunately all I can think of at the moment is how to gag you.

You have assumed a number of things, accused a few and have decided that you can compare our situations and negate our opinions based on your experiences. Your claims of our basing our opinions and experiences on online situations is faulty or your crystal ball is broken. How do you know that?

You became sensitive and decided to show us what was and of course you are so fair minded. We bashed a kink, your kink and lifestyle. What we really did was bashed poor behavior from men that have done stupid things, have super long frenzies and you say we are wrong because we found it all distasteful and not in line with what we wanted. What we have done is stated what we wanted and you bash us for it.

I want sex my way, not the way you want it. You cannot compare the two. There may be a lot of sex in your relationship and you are happy. All good. I want that dick doing what I want it to do and you have nothing to say about it on whether that is good enough or not. You cannot compare your girl to my boy or you and I for that matter. Go be happy, but stop trying to justify and prove us wrong when we have every right to do as we please, think as we want and do it our way based on our experiences and feelings.

Male and female chastity seekers the same! Now that is some funny shit.


(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/6/2015 8:23:42 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle
Why would I want to do that?


Fucked if I know, that stuffs all the product of your head, no one in the thread has asked you to do any of it.

I just want people not to violate the terms of service.

(in reply to MiaCastle)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/7/2015 2:48:37 AM   
dreamlady


Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
---
Btw, a cockcage is not a bondage prop.

By all means, explain how that's not exactly what it is.

You're the one who introduced this term into the discussion, not me. Therefore, you should define what you mean by "prop."
Are you saying that the chastity belt your girl wears is just a "prop" to you?

Nobody wears a prop 'round the clock.
Not even a prisoner would wear handcuffs all day and night, or remain shackled (in most countries). Ask one of them whether this is a "prop" to them.

A collar or any other symbol or depiction of ownership is not a "prop" either.
Is wearing a wedding ring that doesn't get taken off most of the time, just a marital/premarital "prop"? Hardly.
Would you at least agree that a chastity device denotes ownership by another in most cases? Or else the fantasy of being owned by another, that one's genitalia is not one's own entirely, to do with as she or he pleases?

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
If ejaculatory recovery time's getting in the way of coital sex whenever she wants, my first question is why is she letting him cum at time's that are inconvenient for her?

This was a general observation to be taken hypothetically, not as being applicable to every individual circumstance.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
There's nothing about chastity that requires poly or cuckholding. The chastity fetish does exist in monogamous relationships.

I never said it did. What I stated about the full spectrum of sexual relations was: 'There could be an exception here and there, but for the most part this is reserved for her primary partner or as part of a Cuckoldress arrangement.' Please try to stay on point, s'il vous plaît, instead of twisting my words to suit yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
In fact, the longtime male chastity slaves I've spoken with have lost their ability to perform sexually with being able to get and maintain a usable erection. (They don't act like it matters much because they'd rather be an oral slave and/or perform foot worship.)

Are we talking real people or internet wank profiles?

Both and neither. Real life contact and on-line contact, after I've pre-screened out the dedicated wankers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Women in chastity do not require milkings either.

As I understand it that's a separate fetish and isn't required for chastity.

I didn't say it was. It is an aspect of male chastity which can be engaged in with an F/m (or possibly M/m) dynamic, but without an M/f (or F/f) equivalent. As such, there is no "milking" necessary with a non-sexual arrangement because female chastity doesn't usually require abstinence from her owner in being denied sexual/orgasmic release, does it? Different objectives, different methodologies, different motivations, including different kinds of fetishes, come into play.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
Tease and denial don't only exist on your side of things.

I never said they did. I was making a distinction between outright denial and delayed gratification. There are male chastity slaves who want prolonged and/or outright denial. Is that common with female chastity slaves?

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel
Cars are notorious for crashes, so why would anyone want to use a death trap.

Automobiles don't crash themselves. LOL

I haven't even touched upon safety or the risk of doing harm to one's body, nor do I intend to go there.

The fetishes I highlighted in addition to male chastity were those that were contained within OP's posts and profile. I didn't zero in on irrelevant fetishes.

The biggest perspective you haven't grasped is the self-centered (submissive) Svengali-esque approach which is objectionable, not whether somebody is undergoing sub fever as a form of temporary judgment lapse, or whether chastity in itself doesn't work with a segment of the population when both partners in a couple desire to conduct having a chastity lifestyle.

DreamLady

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/7/2015 7:17:55 PM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle
Why would I want to do that?


Fucked if I know, that stuffs all the product of your head, no one in the thread has asked you to do any of it.

I just want people not to violate the terms of service.


I don't care to violate terms of service, but speaking of our thoughts, feelings and opinions doesn't seem like it would violate anything. You may view what has been said as a violation of some sort, but I see it as expressing how we feel about what people have done in our experience and how we feel. I enjoy some chastity play and have used it at times with my guys. It isn't the kink that I have issue with. It is how some men put more value in the act than they do the relationship or person. I am not a selfish person and I sure don't want to have a relationship with anyone that expects me to play in ways I find objectionable, which would be the attitude, not the act.

Perhaps the problem here is that you misconstrue what is being said or at least, I am not making it clear. It is not the fetish, kink or act that I find offensive, but the attitude that I would be so dick centered that I would find things interesting or appealing, that I don't care so much about. Do I like the dick? I like the dick just fine unless the man is being a dick. Chastity for many men is all about them and seeking a woman that will do it to them, always, do it to them, for them and the need to find a woman that will quickly get to it.

Before I have ever spoken to some men, they send a one line email asking if I am into locking them up. That would be a quick no. I don't know them. I don't care about them and that is the first thing they want to say to me. That is seeking a woman that will respond in a positive. Sure I want to lock your dick up or I love locking dicks up. Then they would rush in to see how quickly that could happen. No thank you.

If I wish to make comment about it when I see a thread started on how a man can convince his wife to do something as a dominate to him and it is dick centered, I think that doesn't violate anything to respond to it in any way I wish. A much better way would be to honestly ask her what she might like to do and not turn her off to the whole idea. Instead, some men think of how they can convince a woman to do certain things to them, even if they don't like it or their presentation of it. A woman taking part and getting something out of it might enjoy more exploration.

Making one thing a focus and it is a man, tends to upset the flow of things for many women as we don't care to be the forceful play toy acting out a fantasy with no real tending to our own desires. Trying to convince a woman in such a way could suggest that she is only supplying for a want and someone doesn't care enough to consider her and will manipulate or talk about her to find a way to get her to perform.

Funny you can't see that aspect while you are trying to claim we are acting improperly. Kind of like the man that started the thread.

< Message edited by MiaCastle -- 6/7/2015 7:22:51 PM >

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/7/2015 7:29:59 PM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline 		Dreamlady, that Madonna/whore thing that never dies, is something I can agree with you on. Too bad some men don't realize they could open Pandora's box with that nonsense.

Mia

(in reply to MiaCastle)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/7/2015 7:39:13 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MiaCastle
It is not the fetish, kink or act that I find offensive, but the attitude that I would be so dick centered that I would find things interesting or appealing, that I don't care so much about. Do I like the dick? I like the dick just fine unless the man is being a dick.


This is the point I've been trying to make.

(in reply to MiaCastle)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/8/2015 6:57:51 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ccarpendar

The thought of having me locked up in chastity is not a turn on for my wife. I have been playing with chastity for two years know and she is very aware of it. She recommends that I do not wear the chastity device as it does nothing for her. I tried playing with chastity as it was interesting to me and I have recently found that the desire to be controlled and locked up is not going away. She played along at first but very quickly turned away from it. She knows that I am a very kinky individual and I have many "odd" desires as she puts it. She lets me go on about my own business but she does not participate in my adventures. I am looking for some real advice as to how to get her interested in being my full time keyholder. I want to talk to someone who was not really into it at first and maybe even blew it off but is not into it. I need to know the best ways show her what male chastity will do for her in our relationship and how enjoyable control over sex can be. I am willing to give it all up to her. I have told her this before but she has shown no interests. How can I get her to understand the benefits of chastity without her just disregarding it off the bat and to give it a real shot.


Bud....she doesn't want it. Game over.

(in reply to ccarpendar)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder - 6/14/2015 3:22:12 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
What does you wife like? If she likes things hot and passionate - both in person and when you are away from each other -- chastity can do that. It's not so much about denial as it is about setting the table.

Dan Savage thinks its important for sexual partners to be game, and I agree.

(in reply to ccarpendar)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Transform Wife to Keyholder Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109