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UllrsIshtar -> RE: Attraction issues???? Please help!!! (6/30/2015 9:27:57 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BrentsSugar
My Dom pretty much told me when I become skinny is when he becomes more attracted to you.
Yes, people are attracted to things. If they're attracted to things, the more you are of that thing, the more they are attracted to you.
These things may be physical things such as hair color, height, weight, race, muscular level, fitness level. Or they may be character traits such as humor, mental stability, emotional range, self-confidence. Or they may be attributes such as financial wealth, social status, academic status.
If you are lacking in some of the things your Dom is attracted to, he will be less attracted to you as a human being. Especially sexually.
If you become more of the things he's attracted to, he will become more sexually attracted to you.
That... is merely how we are all biologically programmed to react. He is not a villain because of what he happens to be sexually attracted to, just like you aren't either because of the things that sexually attract you in him.
Now the fact that he happens to be hung up on your weigh tends to be a social construct and telling off the times we live in. Just like in Mauritania heavy women are considered more attractive because they show off wealth, and so women there force-feeed themselves (or are force-fed by their mothers) to become as heavy as possible. But that still doesn't make him a bad person just because he likes what he likes, especially if he's been clear to you from the beginning that he'd like you to loose weight. Having sexually preferences is just a normal part of being human.
quote:
ORIGINAL: BrentsSugar
I can see now that no one will accept me for the person I am right now and that's hurts me deeply.
Now this is pertinently not true.
First of all, just because a person -any person- isn't sexually attracted to you doesn't mean that they do not accept your for the person you are.
There's hundreds of people of either gender I'm not sexually attracted to and whom I still know well enough to fully accept them for the beautiful people they are.
Secondly, it's not true that just because your current Dom isn't optimally sexually attracted to you because you lack things that stimulate him that this means that all men would feel the same. Like I said, in Mauritania men prefer their women even heavier than you are now.
In the local club where I play a lot there's a Dom who doesn't play with women unless they are at least your weight or over. He wouldn't look twice at a chick like me because I don't ring his bell.
Likewise there are men out there who don't have "weight" as part of the thing that sexually stimulates them at all. Those men are not going to care whether you're skinny or heavier, because the thing that attracts them is something else. Although, even with those men, there is going to be some thing that attracts them, so likewise if you don't have enough of that, they won't be into you either, even though they don't care about your weight.
If it's important to you to be with somebody who is sexually attracted to you as you are today, you need to leave the guy you're with.
Then, sit down and make a list of the things you feel the need to be sexually attractive for, or despite of, or regardless of. There's a difference between being with a guy who doesn't care about your weight, and one who wants you because of it (whether it's because you're big or small in his eyes). Figure out what you need to be liked for, and find somebody who likes you for those things.
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