RE: Tactful response? (Full Version)

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Greta75 -> RE: Tactful response? (9/15/2015 6:13:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Edited to add: this could be a very good way of sifting through the lunatics. Whether or not you're attracted to them, reply with a 'no thanks'. If you get a reply full of insults from someone you're attracted to then you know he's bordering on the wrong side of sanity. If you get a reply saying: "no bother, enjoy!" then you know that it's a fairly reasonable person you're dealing with. Then you can reply back and explain you do find them attractive but wanted to test the water based on past experience!



I usually disagree with 99% of what this person says, but for once, his giving a good suggestion that I may use myself. Thanks!



LuminousFire -> RE: Tactful response? (10/22/2015 9:11:01 AM)

If I said to any women I find you not attractive her mind processes it like he thinks I am so hideous I make his tummy empty its contents (mines are always full of muffin and cheap, surprisingly tasty Chardonnay for such a keen price) onto his very lap, and a full set of dry heaves lasting many hours and my image has scarred.scared his very being to the point he throws himself into the nearest volcano so her hideous wretched features will haunt him no more. That’s what minds think subconsciously with many variant translations.

Now, if all I cared about was looks I would start my profile and all conversations thusly:
All I care about is; firstly about looks and only looks and ideally seeking a demi goddess who bathes in streams and waterfalls.

I won’t even talk to anyone indepth, no matter the site, past mail 3 less they cough up pictures and a credible reality.

Have you considered asking them for a few pictures before mail 10-1000? Most people care about looks firstly so I accept that I do not pretend to understand it ever.



sweetieDA -> RE: Tactful response? (10/22/2015 9:26:45 AM)

Swap pictures early on. No point getting attached to someone before you know if you're attracted.



Kirata -> RE: Tactful response? (10/22/2015 9:35:38 AM)


Personally, I'm very dubious about photos. Height, weight, the usual "stats" tell me more about whether or not there are possibilities for physical attraction. I've met women who were photogenic as blazes, but in person bleh, and the reverse as well. It's also amazing how damn pretty a woman becomes if you hit it off and your feelings for her grow.

That said, however, if you want to go by photos, fine. But at the very least you could say that you're not attracted by his photo (after all, that's really the truth of the matter isn't it?) instead of saying that you don't find him attractive. I mean, what the hell do you know? You've never met him. Even if you like his photo, you still might not find him attractive.

K.







Awareness -> RE: Tactful response? (10/22/2015 1:12:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PassionsTorment
I guess my question is, how do I avoid this situation in the future? And if it does arise, and he DOES indeed look like he should be hiding under a bridge and eating small children...how do I deal with it without seeming like an ass?
You don't.

A Dom is a man whose self-belief is sufficiently strong to be unaffected by rejection from a single woman. A man whose ego is stung by a woman's lack of interest is no Dom.

Consequently, those pretenders are effectively outing themselves. It's the guy who shrugs in response and bids you good day who's the real deal. And frankly, men like that are a rarity, precisely because actual Doms are a rarity.



DesFIP -> RE: Tactful response? (10/22/2015 3:49:30 PM)

Personally I wouldn't be able to tell if there's chemistry by a picture. Unless it shows he's a foot shorter than he claimed to be or some such. I don't photograph well so I give other people the same doubt.

But all you need to say is that you don't think there's sufficient chemistry to take it to the next step. And good bye and good luck.



BigTruckDaddy -> RE: Tactful response? (11/4/2015 7:19:44 AM)

Character counts here too. That could be said for both sides of any relationship. Since I have no control over the character of others, then that leaves me to deal with my own. You really should be grateful that you found this out about them before things went too far.

Men have feelings too. When they get their feelings hurt they respond in many different ways. If their response is less than stellar then move on. You probably don't want them in your life for a host of reason, that being just one.

Looks aren't everything or even close. I see a bunch of Hollywood types I would not give the time of day simply based on whatever character assessments I have made on their past public behavior and or statements.

I recently told a stunning example of a sissy that what we were headed for in the relationship department would not work for me based on her age and VERY young looks. This may seem a dream to some with my kinks, but it just did not work for me. Although she was 22 she looked 16 or 17. I am 49. Call it what you will, but I personally was not comfortable with even the illusion I was with a youngster while i myself have Grandkids. While she was surprised and a bit put off at first, she took it well and understood after I explained my position. We are still friends today and she often comes to me with questions. I had not thought that scenario all the way through before I met her online and in person. I am still glad I met such a charming young sissy and look forward to being friends for years.

This and all sites like it should be attended by adults. As adults they should have learned by now what is an appropriate response to a let down. Using some of the algebra that sucked in school and I had to learn anyway. I take into consideration. Immediate hurt feelings +/- How I worded the let down +/- the nature of our discussions +/- plus a host of other things I am not thinking of now. Generally when I get done with the math that I do suck at, I just move on.

I suppose I personally put a bit too much in a lot things I do. I look at budding relationships as investments in myself and my future. I am not in the habit of casting aside relationships I have invested in. But then there are times when one must cut their losses and run...lol



xara69 -> RE: Tactful response? (11/4/2015 10:26:31 PM)

If you have a set of characteristics that you are seeking, then list them in your profile. If I were to look at a profile, and see that I am not that person's type, I would not waste my time starting a relationship. Men often state in their profile that they want someone in a certain age range, body fitness, attractiveness. If you know in advance that certain things would be a turn off, have the courage to be honest on your profile. Sure, you might get trolled for being "shallow", but you can block those people right away, without wasting your time on them. I think that would be preferable than knowing you are going to end up hurting someone's self esteem after initially appearing interested in them.



OsideGirl -> RE: Tactful response? (11/5/2015 8:27:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: xara69

If you have a set of characteristics that you are seeking, then list them in your profile. If I were to look at a profile, and see that I am not that person's type, I would not waste my time starting a relationship.


Well, you're the one of the few that operate that way. Women here routinely get emails from guys that don't meet their criteria. Hell, I'm married and just here for the forums and I still get guys that push for a meeting.



shiftyw -> RE: Tactful response? (11/5/2015 2:42:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: xara69

If you have a set of characteristics that you are seeking, then list them in your profile. If I were to look at a profile, and see that I am not that person's type, I would not waste my time starting a relationship.


Well, you're the one of the few that operate that way. Women here routinely get emails from guys that don't meet their criteria. Hell, I'm married and just here for the forums and I still get guys that push for a meeting.



Ditto.

I'm pretty sure my profile is "I'm dating someone and I'm just here for the forums and ego stroking" and I get mail all the time.



xara69 -> RE: Tactful response? (11/6/2015 2:09:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: xara69

If you have a set of characteristics that you are seeking, then list them in your profile. If I were to look at a profile, and see that I am not that person's type, I would not waste my time starting a relationship.


Well, you're the one of the few that operate that way. Women here routinely get emails from guys that don't meet their criteria. Hell, I'm married and just here for the forums and I still get guys that push for a meeting.



Ditto.

I'm pretty sure my profile is "I'm dating someone and I'm just here for the forums and ego stroking" and I get mail all the time.


Yeah, but if she already has her requirements posted in her profile, she doesn't need to worry so much about tact. They are the ones who set themselves up to be embarrassed.



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