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Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 1:39:39 PM   
Sirkell


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/14/2014
Status: offline 		How do you find a true person wanting to serve. Don't think it is here.

_____________________________

Sirkell
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 1:43:38 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Be a person worth serving

(And yeah, for you, if you are really as negative as that post comes off, likely not here. But moi? This place is heaven on earth. I've gotten more pussy than an old lady at the SPCA adopt a cat day)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Sirkell)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 1:48:28 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline 		They call them unicorns for a reason.

Seriously, what does this person get in return for taking care of you two? It's a seller's market for what you are looking for, and you're going to probably have to do a hell of a sales job to get what you are looking for.


(in reply to Sirkell)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 1:51:00 PM   
Sirkell


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/14/2014
Status: offline 		Not really negative at all just tired of all the online players. Slaves only online never intending to even come for a meet. The one whom we get will get all the pussy he can handle, wife loves a hard dick! But she does not want a live in. Maybe that the biggest down fall.

_____________________________

Sirkell

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 1:53:38 PM   
Sirkell


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/14/2014
Status: offline 		Thank you little ladybug. Good advice.

_____________________________

Sirkell

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 1:57:47 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline 		I also wanted to say that there *are* plenty of "true" people on here. You just need to wade through the garbage to find them. And then of course, there comes the compatibility issue...

(in reply to Sirkell)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 2:02:11 PM   
Sirkell


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/14/2014
Status: offline 		How to you tell the garbage from real?

_____________________________

Sirkell

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 2:18:33 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirkell

How to you tell the garbage from real?


The "smell test" works pretty well for me. If it doesn't smell right...then I move on. (You know, listening to that little voice...)

Taking the power exchange out of it, is this someone I can relate to? In non-sexy times, can I envision myself being comfortable around this person? Stuff like that.

When I was looking, I also wanted to meet as soon as practicable. Not only to find out if the person was as serious as they were saying, but also to determine in person chemistry.

I would also suggest thinking about a re-vamp of your profile. As I said earlier, it's a seller's market for what you want. What do the two of you like to do? (You know, for the non-sexual times.) Is there a photo you have that would give someone an idea of your interests or personalities? For example, I met my partner on here. I was just flipping randomly through profiles and came across his-- complete with a photo of him hiking with his llama. I just *had* to send him a message. Perhaps find something like that. You don't have to appeal to everyone- you just need one. Literally, set it out there so that one person would *want* to respond.

I'm sure there are people out there who would want to be involved with you-- you just need to let them know you're out there.

(in reply to Sirkell)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 2:22:31 PM   
Sirkell


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/14/2014
Status: offline 		Thank you. You are a great help

_____________________________

Sirkell

(in reply to littleladybug)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 2:25:37 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		What Kana said. (I'd totally serve Kana, for instance, under the right set of circumstances.)

Looking at your profile, you want something to serve you in all ways, do chores, and be available for whatever play you want when you want, and presumable to serve you both sexually in all ways.
You also want them to keep a full-time job aside from that, so you don't have the support them.

Great. Now what is it exactly you offer them in return?

It's sounds like your expectations off your slave when they're not at work are a full-time job in and of itself. So when exactly will this person have down time to recover from all that work?
I personally wouldn't take a collar with a couple who expect me to maintain a full-time job at home, as well as at work, but that's me. I'm sure there are others out there who are different in that.

However, even looking passed that point, it still leaves the relationship you're describing incredibly one-sides, where it's all about what you want, and what you'll be getting out of the relationship, with not even a hint at why this fabulous slave you're looking for should pick you over somebody else.

There's lots of couples like you looking, and not a lot of slaves willing to take on those two full-time jobs. So the ones who are looking for precisely that tend to go with Owners who make it clear what they're offering.
Your currently profile puts you way way way down on that list.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 7/15/2015 2:28:10 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Sirkell)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 3:34:00 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline 		Rant alert!

Who do you think you are? You declare yourself dominant and expect submissive people to queue up to lick your boots clean or what?
Let me educate you: submitting to someone is a thing that is more intimate than casual sex. Way more intimate.

The willingness to serve you is like a precious stone. You have to mine it and cut it. And before that, you have to find it.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 4:14:02 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		Before you rant, try reading. She does not label herself a dominant.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 4:40:26 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

try reading


This is a public forum. Please be civil.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 5:08:06 PM   
Sirkell


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/14/2014
Status: offline 		Thank you all. Going to totally change the profile and my whole picture on things. Thank you again

_____________________________

Sirkell

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 5:23:38 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I was perhaps a bit uncivil.
Allow me to elaborate.
First, be someone worth serving.
Next, as has been mentioned before, one catches more flies with sugar than vinegar. Put yourself out there on the profile.
Be different. Be unique.
Most of all be self honest-be straight up about who you are, not just in BDSM, but as people in life, and about what you expect and what you bring to the table.

When you talk to people, do it the same way you would if you met a hottie at the grocery store.
Express interest. Be polite.
Don't be or lead with the dick.

The BS detector will kick in after a bit. Sift through enough phoney mails, meet enough wannabes or have them no-show-surprise!), have enough conversations and you'll start to get a feel for who is real and who is full of chit.
My basic rules...and note that these are broad generalities I adjust as circumstances dictate.
-I almost never initiate discussion of sex.
-I talk about everything under the sun but sex.
-I ask lots of questions. Then some more. I actively look for red flags.
-I try to get a feel for them as a person, who they are, what their values/morals/ethos are (Because if we are incompatible there shit likely won't work).
-I show interest in them as human beings and treat them accordingly.
-If things click, I want to meet quick. And if they click when we meet, I want to play quick too. Life is short. Time is precious. I'd rather not waste my minutes or theirs. If incompatible, best to find out ASAP and minimize the pain.
-At some point, pretty early on, I tell them point blank what I want, what I expect from someone I interact it and what I will and will not tolerate. If they meet that criteria, great. If not, oh fucking well. No skin off my dick.
-Don't be desperate! I cannot emphasize this enough. The single worst thing you can do with a submissive is fail to seize the reins. Don't be an ass about it. Don't be cocky. But be and stay in charge.
-Don't make decisions driven by emotions. Let that email sit for a day. Reexamine it when things cool down, ardor or anger, either will skew judgement.
-Always remember Kana's number one rule of the net-everyone, and I mean everyone is a fake until you sit down across from them at a table and eyeball then. And even then, it usually takes about 3-6 months before you really see the real them.
-Last, time is your friend. There's no hurry (Other than sex crazing). If things go right, you're looking at a long term thing. That takes time, effort, commitment, sacrifice. Because good things need be worked for. Just like anything else, the more one puts into thing, the more one gets out of it.
-Be excellent. Always.

My Two cents worth. Take it for what it is.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 5:57:21 PM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

try reading


This is a public forum. Please be civil.


You can ask that others be civil, but when they are allowed to be snarky or call someone on something and debate, civil can take on new meaning. Try reading. You two made me laugh.

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 7/15/2015 5:58:39 PM >

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(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 6:18:30 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

I was perhaps a bit uncivil.
Allow me to elaborate.
First, be someone worth serving.
Next, as has been mentioned before, one catches more flies with sugar than vinegar. Put yourself out there on the profile.
Be different. Be unique.
Most of all be self honest-be straight up about who you are, not just in BDSM, but as people in life, and about what you expect and what you bring to the table.

When you talk to people, do it the same way you would if you met a hottie at the grocery store.
Express interest. Be polite.
Don't be or lead with the dick.

The BS detector will kick in after a bit. Sift through enough phoney mails, meet enough wannabes or have them no-show-surprise!), have enough conversations and you'll start to get a feel for who is real and who is full of chit.
My basic rules...and note that these are broad generalities I adjust as circumstances dictate.
-I almost never initiate discussion of sex.
-I talk about everything under the sun but sex.
-I ask lots of questions. Then some more. I actively look for red flags.
-I try to get a feel for them as a person, who they are, what their values/morals/ethos are (Because if we are incompatible there shit likely won't work).
-I show interest in them as human beings and treat them accordingly.
-If things click, I want to meet quick. And if they click when we meet, I want to play quick too. Life is short. Time is precious. I'd rather not waste my minutes or theirs. If incompatible, best to find out ASAP and minimize the pain.
-At some point, pretty early on, I tell them point blank what I want, what I expect from someone I interact it and what I will and will not tolerate. If they meet that criteria, great. If not, oh fucking well. No skin off my dick.
-Don't be desperate! I cannot emphasize this enough. The single worst thing you can do with a submissive is fail to seize the reins. Don't be an ass about it. Don't be cocky. But be and stay in charge.
-Don't make decisions driven by emotions. Let that email sit for a day. Reexamine it when things cool down, ardor or anger, either will skew judgement.
-Always remember Kana's number one rule of the net-everyone, and I mean everyone is a fake until you sit down across from them at a table and eyeball then. And even then, it usually takes about 3-6 months before you really see the real them.
-Last, time is your friend. There's no hurry (Other than sex crazing). If things go right, you're looking at a long term thing. That takes time, effort, commitment, sacrifice. Because good things need be worked for. Just like anything else, the more one puts into thing, the more one gets out of it.
-Be excellent. Always.

My Two cents worth. Take it for what it is.



And that...

*points to the above*

is why, in the right set of circumstances I'd serve Kana.






< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 7/15/2015 6:19:14 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 6:27:06 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline 		Kana, that is so true and so wrong at the same time. Which means that we are exploring the fringes of being human, to boldly go where no man/woman/whatever has gone before!

Let me take you up on one thing though: "First, be someone worth serving." Verily, verily. You could, from my perspective, say "Be someone worthy to serve".

There is no replacement for good character, but neither is there one for proper schooling.

< Message edited by daniel1973 -- 7/15/2015 6:36:13 PM >

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 7:20:22 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daniel1973

Kana, that is so true and so wrong at the same time. Which means that we are exploring the fringes of being human, to boldly go where no man/woman/whatever has gone before!

Let me take you up on one thing though: "First, be someone worth serving." Verily, verily. You could, from my perspective, say "Be someone worthy to serve".

There is no replacement for good character, but neither is there one for proper schooling.


Kana is elaborating on the time honored tried and true method of dating and attracting those you might be interested in. It is the only way to meet and develop relationships here or anywhere else should that be the goal. It is the way I always met women here. It is the way I attracted Star here and met her face to face while others had their cmail unanswered. It is the way I met several others here and they were all amazing even if they were not the girl for me or I the guy for them and in this process the last thing one mentions is sex or even kink for the first, second and perhaps even the third meeting. Good luck. A good first move is asking for advice since so many guys languish on here forever never meeting a single girl and the reason is they forget these are women who still expect you to be a great guy first and a Dom second or even third.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Getting a slave/sub - 7/15/2015 8:08:07 PM   
Sirkell


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/14/2014
Status: offline 		Thank you all greatly especially Kana. Have re-written profile. Hope it is better now I know I is honest. I have been coming on to strong and demanding and needful. That will all stop now. Thanks a lot. If you could take time to read new profile... Any suggestions? Thanks again.

_____________________________

Sirkell

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 20
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