RE: first contact advice

RE: first contact advice (Full Version)

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daniel1973 -> RE: first contact advice (7/19/2015 8:55:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV slaves wish and need to be property, and treated as such. I was prime property and wished to be treated as such!

Wayward5oul -> RE: first contact advice (7/19/2015 8:57:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul quote: ORIGINAL: daniel1973 Your choice ... as a submissive I want to be able to do as best I can though, that includes dominants who aren't that capable :-) What could I possibly learn from someone who didn't know what they were doing? There is a wealth of knowledge there, really. All terribly interesting, though overlooked and taken for granted. You can learn about the response time of your local EMTs. The quality of care and food at the local hospital, as well as wait times. The joys of physical therapy & chiropractics. Much to learn from those that know nothing. As long as you survive, of course. As curious as I am about all those little details that people never think of as valuable, these are ones that I would rather observe as a bystander and learn. But don't think for a minute that I wouldn't be standing there taking mental notes.

Wayward5oul -> RE: first contact advice (7/19/2015 9:09:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar pretty much the worse thing a guy can do is approach me as an equal in the first email This part is not true for me, but... quote: the best thing he can do is open with an email that shows that he understands why I need to need him this is what makes my knees weak. So even if the guy is acting uber-domly in his initial email, if he meets the second criterion, I may overlook the first part (as long as it isn't uber uber domly).

Arturas -> RE: first contact advice (7/19/2015 9:11:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar pretty much the worse thing a guy can do is approach me as an equal in the first email This part is not true for me, but... quote: the best thing he can do is open with an email that shows that he understands why I need to need him this is what makes my knees weak. So even if the guy is acting uber-domly in his initial email, if he meets the second criterion, I may overlook the first part (as long as it isn't uber uber domly). You mean confident and in control of himself.

Wayward5oul -> RE: first contact advice (7/19/2015 9:16:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arturas quote: ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar pretty much the worse thing a guy can do is approach me as an equal in the first email This part is not true for me, but... quote: the best thing he can do is open with an email that shows that he understands why I need to need him this is what makes my knees weak. So even if the guy is acting uber-domly in his initial email, if he meets the second criterion, I may overlook the first part (as long as it isn't uber uber domly). You mean confident and in control of himself. Yes, I do. In fact, my advice to the OP was to not be aggressive, but do show confidence. The two are not incompatible.

JVoV -> RE: first contact advice (7/19/2015 11:02:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV And again, subs are much different than slaves. subs require more wooing, and more vanilla, because it is a partnership. slaves wish and need to be property, and treated as such. The conversation dynamics should match that, though until properly collared, a slave still has free will. I am a slave, and require my partner (notice I said "partner") to be romantic. This slave also doesn't "need to be property". The definitions of the terms, obviously, aren't universal. Your profile on the other side lists you as a submissive, which is likely more accurate for determining how best to approach you.

daniel1973 -> RE: first contact advice (7/19/2015 11:29:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV Your profile on the other side lists you as a submissive, which is likely more accurate for determining how best to approach you. Bollocks, I already have a master!

JVoV -> RE: first contact advice (7/19/2015 11:35:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daniel1973 quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV Your profile on the other side lists you as a submissive, which is likely more accurate for determining how best to approach you. Bollocks, I already have a master! That's nice, dear. But you'll notice I was speaking to LittleLadyBug. Not that it should be obvious by directly quoting her in my reply or anything.

daniel1973 -> RE: first contact advice (7/20/2015 12:03:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV That's nice, dear. But you'll notice I was speaking to LittleLadyBug. You thought you did. Actually you were generalizing in a way that I would accept as punishment.

JVoV -> RE: first contact advice (7/20/2015 12:20:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daniel1973 quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV That's nice, dear. But you'll notice I was speaking to LittleLadyBug. You thought you did. Actually you were generalizing in a way that I would accept as punishment. I see your profile on the other side lists you as submissive too, but I was in fact responding to littleladybug. You have yet to earn the pleasure of my punishments.

daniel1973 -> RE: first contact advice (7/20/2015 12:24:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV You have yet to earn the pleasure of my punishments. Dang my master doesn't punish me any more, LOL!

masterstrong13 -> RE: first contact advice (7/20/2015 2:46:12 AM)
Thank you all for your comments, especially those who actually answered my original questions, to those who didn't, and those who digressed it's been entertaining non the less

littleladybug -> RE: first contact advice (7/20/2015 6:54:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV Your profile on the other side lists you as a submissive, which is likely more accurate for determining how best to approach you. Actually, as my partner found out, the best way to approach me is as a human being. IMO, labels are a good general way to start, but don't give much specific information, and certainly aren't a universal key to how to approach someone. As I said earlier, what I see as "submissive" and "slave" is not the way you view it. Which is fine. I would just encourage people such as the OP to bear in mind when approaching someone that there are no universal definitions for either. Compatibility takes a hell of a lot more than picking a label from a drop down menu on a computer.

Wayward5oul -> RE: first contact advice (7/20/2015 8:10:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV quote: ORIGINAL: daniel1973 quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV That's nice, dear. But you'll notice I was speaking to LittleLadyBug. You thought you did. Actually you were generalizing in a way that I would accept as punishment. I see your profile on the other side lists you as submissive too, but I was in fact responding to littleladybug. You have yet to earn the pleasure of my punishments. (sigh) I know this is going to make my Pussyboy jealous, but what the hell...can I watch? Lend a hand?

daniel1973 -> RE: first contact advice (7/20/2015 11:24:28 AM)
Make him read this: http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/private-language/

littleone35 -> RE: first contact advice (7/23/2015 1:31:24 PM)
n on yur knees bitch would not have worked with e. Unless a message was rude i responded to all. As a matter of fact my Masters first e mail to meis what pat of Long Islandyo live in? Wetalkedvanilla at fist ettse if we had any interests other ta BDSM. We fud oout we di we metwe clicked and her it is almost 10 years later and we stil have things to talk about. For me seeing if we have any vaniilla intereste in common came firsr the BDSM came after. Matt's littleone

daniel1973 -> RE: first contact advice (7/29/2015 12:31:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: daniel1973 Submit to someone who is kind of a good person but does not know how to lead you. Why on Earth would I want to do something like that? Maybe because you get some exercise like that. Maybe your dominant does.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: first contact advice (7/29/2015 3:27:41 AM)
I'm firmly on the side of getting to know someone as a person, AND as equals, regardless of labels. My advice is to never submit to someone you don't know well. On the other side of the kneel, this means not attempting to dominate someone you don't know. The OP will learn over time that this is the single best way to weed out the fantasists and wannabes who never intend to actually meet, or who are so caught up in their fantasies, they are quite incapable of actually being submissive. It's all about them, and getting THEIR fantasies fulfilled. These are the subs who come on here complaining their dom doesn't dom them 'right.' (Admittedly, perhaps he doesn't, just as many dom males are fantasists and sub females.) I can't see your profile, so I don't know where you're from. I highly suggest taking yourself to a munch where you can meet people in person. Best, CP

bislutdave -> RE: first contact advice (7/29/2015 4:06:41 AM)
I feel treating each other with respect and as equals at first until trust is achieved. When full trust and a relaxed feeling between the dom and sub is made then a good relationship can grow. After talking some and getting to know I feel the dom can start leading the conversation and laying the ground work over time for the sub to follow. This will let each of them be able to express what they are looking for and the limits they have and ones they want to expand dave

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: first contact advice (7/29/2015 4:38:02 AM)
<waves to bislutdave> I see you're taking my advice. Now if you could just get rid of that pic as your primary. When women see a dick as your primary pic, they assume YOU'RE a dick. When it includes overt BDSM or sexual overtones, they assume you're a fantasist or only interested in sex. If you're real, stop that.

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