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Just Out of Curiosity - 7/20/2015 2:58:18 PM   
CharlieN


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/13/2015
Status: offline 		Do you guys ever find your dominant/submissive side crossing into your professional life? Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? I know personal and professional usually aren't supposed to mix, but I am wondering.
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/20/2015 3:03:51 PM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline 		No. I'm dominant, not an asshole. I know when to lead and when to step aside.

I am also not dominant to everyone in my personal life. There is no reason to try to control or lead everyone, in my view. Just myself and those who give me that honor.

_____________________________

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(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/20/2015 3:05:20 PM   
spellslave


Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
Status: offline 		Not necessarily. Being a submissive-heavy switch does not make me more inclined to follow orders than a dominant. When I'm doing a job, I'll defer to whoever is my superior in that context [the workplace], be they someone who I would hypothetically submit to or not. I can lead a group of people who I might otherwise feel inclined to defer to, and follow someone who displays submissive characteristics. The workplace is not the place for BDSM, and so it is given no ground to tread on. A photographer once asked me if me being a submissive made me easy to direct as a model. I very frankly told him no, that I am not obeying him because I am submitting or have that desire, but because obeying the direction gets the best picture!

_____________________________

Fetlife: spellslave

(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/20/2015 3:48:15 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CharlieN

Do you guys ever find your dominant/submissive side crossing into your professional life? Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? I know personal and professional usually aren't supposed to mix, but I am wondering.


I find it quite easy. My master would never interfere with my professional life. I trust him with my life, so it isn't really a question. But then again he wants me to be able to pay the bills on my own.


< Message edited by daniel1973 -- 7/20/2015 4:23:21 PM >

(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/20/2015 4:23:34 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		Yes. I make it a point to (try to) practice submission throughout all areas of my life. Only one person has authority over me, of course. But my submission extends outward, beyond our relationship, and with intent.

(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/20/2015 7:34:46 PM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline 		No. I am dominant at work, and considered a leader and 'take charge' kind of person. I have actually had some of my male colleagues make comments about being intimidated by me. They would think that they had stumbled into a parallel universe if they had any idea that I had a submissive nature.

Those that know me from both work and socially, and are aware of my preferences, have a hell of a time believing it. They are convinced that I am going to wake up one day and suddenly realize that I am a domme.

But when I get to lay that part of me aside, and let down my defenses, it is like nothing else I have ever known.

(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/21/2015 8:26:37 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		My dominant traits go into my work life, my love life, every aspect of my life in fact, because for me, they are who I am.

I'm not particularly pushy in general, but give me a reason and you won't make that mistake again. I'm not the type to bark orders, but if someone is doing something wrong in a way that could cause immediate and serious danger, you can count on me to take charge and tell people exactly what to do.

It's not the sex that makes me do it, it's my personality. I'm fundamentally inclined to be responsible and use the abilities I have to improve anything I can. The idea of crossing over just makes me chuckle, like there are borders or invisible walls (fifty shades of Les Nessman). I know we are all expected to wear a thousand different masks for a thousand different situations, but if there's a way to leave the masks aside and just be ourselves, then that's the place where you'll find me.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to Wayward5oul)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/21/2015 9:08:22 PM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		Who I am doesn't change(in that regard). Work, family, in the bedroom personality is personality. Ive had bosses tell me im a great worker because I only need to be told something once, I have a good work ethic, and I train others well. Both sides of the coin playing into different areas.

Who I am does fluctuate greatly based on who I am spending the most time around. I start to inherit the characteristics of that person so im really picky about whom I allow around.

(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/21/2015 9:20:38 PM   
JVoV


Posts: 3664
Joined: 3/9/2015
Status: offline 		I have no problem taking direction that makes sense. I usually respond better to female superiors because they treat me like an asset, as opposed to a threat like most men have.

But leadership comes naturally, as does taking pride in and finding ways to enjoy my work.

< Message edited by JVoV -- 7/21/2015 9:21:18 PM >

(in reply to DerangedUnit)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/22/2015 1:45:35 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I have never been dominant within the workplace. Throughout my career I have needed the ability to lead and delegate; I don't see that as a dominant act, I see it as being comfortable leading a team. Many submissives lead within their workplace, that doesn't make them dominant either, it makes them skilled, confident and suitable for the job.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to JVoV)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/22/2015 1:55:40 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

My dominant traits go into my work life, my love life, every aspect of my life in fact, because for me, they are who I am.

I'm not particularly pushy in general, but give me a reason and you won't make that mistake again. I'm not the type to bark orders, but if someone is doing something wrong in a way that could cause immediate and serious danger, you can count on me to take charge and tell people exactly what to do.

It's not the sex that makes me do it, it's my personality. I'm fundamentally inclined to be responsible and use the abilities I have to improve anything I can. The idea of crossing over just makes me chuckle, like there are borders or invisible walls (fifty shades of Les Nessman). I know we are all expected to wear a thousand different masks for a thousand different situations, but if there's a way to leave the masks aside and just be ourselves, then that's the place where you'll find me.


This is right and true for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CharlieN

Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders?


This is obstinance.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JVoV

I have no problem taking direction that makes sense. I usually respond better to female superiors because they treat me like an asset, as opposed to a threat like most men have.

But leadership comes naturally, as does taking pride in and finding ways to enjoy my work.


Yes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I have never been dominant within the workplace. Throughout my career I have needed the ability to lead and delegate; I don't see that as a dominant act, I see it as being comfortable leading a team. Many submissives lead within their workplace, that doesn't make them dominant either, it makes them skilled, confident and suitable for the job.


Brilliant.

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/22/2015 2:13:05 AM   
sweetieDA


Posts: 129
Joined: 4/3/2015
Status: offline 		No, I'm sexually submissive, not socially. The only time I feel submissive around a person is if I'm attracted to them sexually, which doesn't happen since I'm married.

(in reply to CharlieN)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/26/2015 12:43:09 PM   
NeedAWhirlie


Posts: 18
Joined: 9/7/2008
Status: offline 		This topic is one that has made frequent appearances in my thoughts across all jobs I have had.

I've come to the acknowledgement that I have a "boss kink," meaning that somehow, in 99% of the cases, my mind finds itself engaged in a sexual BDSM fantasy with my current boss at the time. (That 1% is when I find my boss absolutely unattractive in any way- I texted some friends recently: "Finding New Problems, Moving up on Maslow's hierarchy: when your boss is asexual and you have a boss kink" LOL)

So... I do have to ask myself periodically if I am in the job position I am because of some inherent submissive nature or if, in fact, I am seeking and finding submissive fulfillment in the workplace because i'm not getting what I need sexually.

But at the same time, I have an anarchist, rebellious response to authority that I've had to outgrow. So, no, I don't find it easier to follow orders and in fact, I find myself having a "normal" social response to a person in authority attempting to be rudely aggressive or authoritative. I've had no issue discussing it directly and letting them know it was unprofessional or impolite, whatever the case was.

I just think it's funny... to think that the night before I might have had my face shoved inside my owner's asshole and called terribly "impolite" names lol

So overall, I would say no, there is no crossover in actuality. Just frequent fantasy flips in my mind that have nothing to do with my work reality lol

That said, I also have wondered about others in positions of authority- do they have some secret fantasies that touch this edge of work/ home? I don't think i'm the only one and that's when I find myself in a reverie of a boss telling me to close his office door because he has to talk to me. lol


< Message edited by NeedAWhirlie -- 7/26/2015 12:48:32 PM >

(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/26/2015 3:45:48 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline 		Yes it happens, all the time, but not like you would imagine (sub speaking). I've never been good at taking orders but since I do take them from my master I'm totally incapable of obeying other people. Unusable as employee, great as free entrepreneur.
Comes in quite handy in business negotiations, all those alphas can sniff my sub genes which makes them think I'm easy prey.

Edit: Dammit, call me a fool but I find this thing confusing, so bite me.

< Message edited by daniel1973 -- 7/26/2015 3:54:39 PM >

(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/27/2015 6:35:41 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CharlieN

Do you guys ever find your dominant/submissive side crossing into your professional life? Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? I know personal and professional usually aren't supposed to mix, but I am wondering.



No. I abide by house rules. Don't like working for people, then either take it on the chin or go self-employed.


_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to CharlieN)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 7/27/2015 6:05:12 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
No. I abide by house rules. Don't like working for people, then either take it on the chin or go self-employed.


Or found your own company. We need lots and lots of them!

< Message edited by daniel1973 -- 7/27/2015 6:09:23 PM >

(in reply to NorthernGent)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 8/3/2015 8:44:52 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
NO.

(in reply to CharlieN)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 8/3/2015 11:08:13 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		NookieNotes said it perfectly, Im Dominant, not an asshole.



_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Just Out of Curiosity - 8/4/2015 5:05:23 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CharlieN

Do you guys ever find your dominant/submissive side crossing into your professional life? Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? I know personal and professional usually aren't supposed to mix, but I am wondering.


PHENOMENAL question!!!!!!

I'm sub. If someone ever asked me to be Dom (which many have asked me to be)....one of us would crack a rib laughing our collective asses off (and likely require hospitalization).

(It wouldn't be me).

I am submissive....contrary to popular belief.

I so desperately desire an owner.

And some day I'll find one. In the meantime...I'll struggle along with the preconceived notions that I'm not.






(in reply to CharlieN)
Profile   Post #: 19
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