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I have some questions about spanking... - 7/22/2015 5:54:07 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
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Firstly, I am completely new to this (well not D/s, just spanking). I am not a masochist and have never been spanked before now for anything other than punishment.

So ... my questions:

I totally love the headspace of otk and the physical dominance of it. The idea of spanking tickles the sweet spot in my crazy brain... but I am not sure how to deal with the pain? I am wondering... as you do it more and more does the pain become less difficult, do you/can you learn to bend it into pleasure, and how?

I have been surprised at my response of late. Though I do not crave being hurt, again I love the headspace of being spanked, and actually have found myself craving a bit more of the bite (if not the full on hardcore pain) and not just the lovely in between rubs and the after the pain tingles in my bottom. Do you think this will continue and become more prevalent (I hope so!) and is there anything I can do to hasten that along if it is possible?

Thanks!

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

Post #: 1

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/22/2015 6:10:04 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
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It may be in how your partner does it, and that you need more of a warm up than you're getting. Have him start softer and slower, letting your endorphins build up until you can take more. This will take time if you're new to spanks and/or nervous.

Now, if you're only getting punishment spankings, this won't work. But the punishment would defeat the purpose if you enjoyed it, wouldn't it?

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 2

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/22/2015 6:28:33 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Tell him not to be so hard on you. To be lighter. To rub your ass between spanks. To stimulate you sexually so you come to associate spanking with arousal and orgasm.

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Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 3

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/22/2015 6:40:47 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Thanks for the input.... though, I certainly will NOT be 'telling him' to do anything, it's not that sort of show, doll. I really was hoping to keep it focused on what 'I' can do, if that makes any sense?

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 4

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/22/2015 7:09:22 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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I understand you're not comfortable telling him what to do, but you *can* tell him how you feel and how you're reacting and what you think would help you. Right?

If you can't do that, then ask yourself why.

_____________________________

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Post #: 5

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/22/2015 9:22:42 PM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

One can "bend it into pleasure" but as someone who has I would not recommend it. Altering the way your brain processes information is an elaborate undertaking and difficult to keep track of the repercussions. For one, when altering the way you feel pleasure you may find that you no longer feel pleasure from things you used to, or not being able to feel at all.... and its something thats a lot easier to do than undo. For something as light as spanking I would suggest starting light and finding a good spanker, new a person once who gave really relaxing spankings lol didnt hurt at all. But trying to break your perception of pain is a severe undertaking, it is only commonly done when there is no other option. Do not take the idea of altering your brain chemistry lighty... and if that isn't enough of a deterrent it takes a lot of pain to accomplish it anyways ;) it's a million times easier to just take the spanking.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 6

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 12:42:32 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

I totally love the headspace of otk and the physical dominance of it. The idea of spanking tickles the sweet spot in my crazy brain... but I am not sure how to deal with the pain? I am wondering... as you do it more and more does the pain become less difficult, do you/can you learn to bend it into pleasure, and how?

It depends on your goal. The pain doesn't really become less, though you can learn to take more over time, mostly because you become more aware of your own body's limits, and so the fear factor fades. Something that seemed really bad before you now realize isn't really all that bad, and so you're hesitation, tension, and fear is less, and because of that you can process the pain better and take more.

Like DerangedUnit said, bending pleasure into pain is possible but hard to do and not really recommended.

You can however learn all sorts of techniques to channel pain through breathing and stuff (think pregnancy breathing exercises and so forth) to learn to process it more easily. Generally speaking, relaxing, maintaining control over your breathing, and focusing on the feeling of the pain dissipating can make it easier to take.

There is another technique, which involves blocking the pain, which is quite easily to learn and quite effective, but has as a downside that it leaves you detached from the scene and the experience. Most tops don't like it when bottoms do it, and it doesn't sound like it's what you want anyways.

The options to start to enjoy the spankings themselves more sadly all require his cooperation, and really aren't something you can do unless he's willing to take you there.

Most girls have spots on their asses where spankings are more pleasurable, and others where they hurt more, him taking it slower, and focussing more on the spots that you like more is going to make the spankings more pleasurable. There's also different things he can do with the shape of his hand to vary the sensation from more thuddy (more of a cupped shape on the hand), to more stingy (hand held more straight, and by far the most common way people spank).
I personally HATE HATE HATE spankings that are stingy and can't take them very well at all, and yet I love thuddy spankings. The only difference between the two is the shape in which he holds his hand (evil bastard that he is he tends to switch back and forward between them though).

Now I understand that you're in a powerdynamic and can't just place demands on him. But maybe you could ask him to experiment a little? If he tries to start off more slowly, or softer, or with a different shape, you might both find something new and mutually enjoyable.

If not, and he's set on doing it the way he likes doing it, there's another highly controversial technique you can use, which is to train him by positive and negative feedback to shape his desires to be more to your liking.
You do this by figuring out what he's getting out of spanking you... does he like to make you squeal? Squirm? Cry out? Do you have a noise you make he likes in particular? Does he like the sound of you in pain?

After you figure out what it is, you make sure that you give him exactly that reaction when he does something you really like, and tone it down as much as you can when he does something you don't like.
This might seem fake, or dishonest in the beginning, but it actually really isn't, because the more you do it, the more natural it will become for you to associate that specific reaction with the feeling of pleasure. In essence, you are not trying to retrain yourself into feeling pleasure out of something that isn't pleasurable, instead, you're retraining yourself to react in a way that causes him pleasure, when you're feeling pleasure, so that he'll be motivated to do it more.

He's looking for reactions out of you, because those reactions satisfy him. If you can satisfy his needs when he's doing stuff you like, he'll do more of it, and it will create an automatic feedback loop. After a while, it'll feel like the more natural thing in the world to react exactly like he prefers when he does something you like, and he'll be drawn to doing it more often.

Good luck...

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 7/23/2015 12:43:03 AM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 7

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 2:24:46 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Firstly, I am completely new to this (well not D/s, just spanking). I am not a masochist and have never been spanked before now for anything other than punishment.

So ... my questions:

I totally love the headspace of otk and the physical dominance of it. The idea of spanking tickles the sweet spot in my crazy brain... but I am not sure how to deal with the pain? I am wondering... as you do it more and more does the pain become less difficult, do you/can you learn to bend it into pleasure, and how?

I have been surprised at my response of late. Though I do not crave being hurt, again I love the headspace of being spanked, and actually have found myself craving a bit more of the bite (if not the full on hardcore pain) and not just the lovely in between rubs and the after the pain tingles in my bottom. Do you think this will continue and become more prevalent (I hope so!) and is there anything I can do to hasten that along if it is possible?

Thanks!

Next time you do laundry, let one of your towels air dry and don't use fabric softener on it.

Pre-abrasion will make the spanking hurt more. A hot bath followed by vigorous drying of the
region (with your air dried towel) should do the trick. Some *Selena's oil can help with a nice
owie when things are getting on the rare side. ;)

Also, OTK - the more bent over you are, the more it will hurt.
All things being equal, prone on the bed hurts much less than all bent over so start touching
those toes! To kick it up even a notch further, go out on the web and find Figging: The Art
of Ginger Root play and utilize ginger and OTK together.

*Selena's oil - 3 parts mineral oil to 1 part cayenne pepper in small capped jar. Shake vigorously
before use and spread over the warmed spots.

As for seeking pleasure from the pain..

Enjoy the pain while you have it and remember it fondly when it's gone. The tiny little sadist
in me can't help you out more than that.. the thought of you in pain makes me giggle a little..

::wink:: welcomes back.

Does your top have alligator clamps?

Just askin'.. no particular reason.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 8

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 2:36:16 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

One can "bend it into pleasure" but as someone who has I would not recommend it. Altering the way your brain processes information is an elaborate undertaking and difficult to keep track of the repercussions. For one, when altering the way you feel pleasure you may find that you no longer feel pleasure from things you used to, or not being able to feel at all.... and its something thats a lot easier to do than undo. For something as light as spanking I would suggest starting light and finding a good spanker, new a person once who gave really relaxing spankings lol didnt hurt at all. But trying to break your perception of pain is a severe undertaking, it is only commonly done when there is no other option. Do not take the idea of altering your brain chemistry lighty... and if that isn't enough of a deterrent it takes a lot of pain to accomplish it anyways ;) it's a million times easier to just take the spanking.

I'm curious about this. I do a lot of behavior modification and altering the way a brain feels. I have never added a pleasure that also took something away or altered the ability to feel pleasure at all.

Do you have personal examples or any scientific research on this?

I'm very curious,a s I've been working on a book about behavior modification, and I have found nothing like these warnings out there... If they are there, I very much want to know, and add them to caveats.

You also use the term "break your perception of pain," which is not exactly how I envision this, so perhaps youa re speaking of something other than what I do.

Very curious.

*smiles*

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
Like DerangedUnit said, bending pleasure into pain is possible but hard to do and not really recommended.

Like I asked DerangedUnit, do you have any personal experience you can share, or links to information about the dangers of this? Because I have yet to see anything related to the harm of growing pleasure pathways in the body through the things I do, and yet, I would want to know, if there are dangers.

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Post #: 9

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 8:34:08 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
Like DerangedUnit said, bending pleasure into pain is possible but hard to do and not really recommended.

Like I asked DerangedUnit, do you have any personal experience you can share, or links to information about the dangers of this? Because I have yet to see anything related to the harm of growing pleasure pathways in the body through the things I do, and yet, I would want to know, if there are dangers.

Not personal experience, but I have a sister who's had long term chronic pain that was not treatable, and she got taught, with the help of medical experts, to reprocess the signals her nerves give her into 'not pain'. I don't exactly know the specifics, other than that it took a few months to learn, and that they specifically worked on her redefining nerve pain as 'soft touches'.

However, she now complaints that as a result she's less sensitive to touch in general, has trouble orgasming, and that her sense of taste changed. Apparently she's gotten good enough at reinterpreting nerve so that she can alter her perception of pain, but not good enough so that she can let other signals through unaltered, which takes away from her enjoyment in some cases.

Worth it to her... not so much for learning to deal with a spanking in my opinion.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 10

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 12:21:13 PM

FrankAr

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Firstly, I am completely new to this (well not D/s, just spanking). I am not a masochist and have never been spanked before now for anything other than punishment.

So ... my questions:

I totally love the headspace of otk and the physical dominance of it. The idea of spanking tickles the sweet spot in my crazy brain... but I am not sure how to deal with the pain? I am wondering... as you do it more and more does the pain become less difficult, do you/can you learn to bend it into pleasure, and how?

I have been surprised at my response of late. Though I do not crave being hurt, again I love the headspace of being spanked, and actually have found myself craving a bit more of the bite (if not the full on hardcore pain) and not just the lovely in between rubs and the after the pain tingles in my bottom. Do you think this will continue and become more prevalent (I hope so!) and is there anything I can do to hasten that along if it is possible?

Thanks!

I myself have found that spanking or caning or whipping or light slapping can be done to sexually arouse the female because I do it lightly in a way that it does arouse her. It gets her tingling in a way that you can hear the moan. Once I hear the moan she then is in that head space and the feeling that she can get is a thousand times more powerful than just making her arse, tits or back totally red. The female becomes more paliable in an erotic way. I sometimes do this when she has had a bad day and needs to let off some steam, because in my experience the letting off does have positive effects on the brain.

You let the female know that it is more of a sensual type of erotic and if she feels pain then to stop, but you read the body language and you can tell when she has the first hint of pain and then you stop, unless you have stopped already.

This is just what I have found in my experiences in life, that is all.

Frank Ar.

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 11

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 12:48:11 PM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

It's going to be hard to find medical studies on that since it would be illegal ;) unless you go to nazi research or vary to other studies on brain damage. Id suggest looking into the braun damage caused by nueroleptics. Which function similar to a chemical lobotomy, breaking off the pathway to the frontal cortex. The result is an inability to feel, or deadened senses.

These drugs control your dopamine receptors much in the same way you would doing any "brainwashing" to redirect sensation. If done for long periods your brain can forget how to do it itself, erasing positive sensation.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2014/07/study-reveals-brain-mechanism-behind-chronic-pains-sapping-of-mo.html

Im too impatient for google, theres a chronic pain link though...

As for personal experiences, mine id rather not go into in detail on a forum, pretty sure it breaks tos, if you have specific questions feel free to message me. Suffice it to say I got rid of all emotion as a child, which ended up being compounded by the afformentioned drugs in my early teens and I spent years rebuilding pathways that were originally severed in a matter of weeks. I still dont have them all, I can feel happiness now, and some forms of pain, I have not figured out how to grow back motivation. And anger is hit and miss, I can manage frustration though so I consider that close enough.

The last time I did it in another person it was just a light talk through with altering stimuli. Teaching the brain to focus on areas other than the pain. I thought it harmless since it was something I could quickly undo and it was selfish because I really wanted her to stop crying. After I did so a girl that before couldnt handle pain and was a typical bedroom submissive dropped out of her math major and became a fulltime slave for a guy who passed her around and beat the crap out of her regularly. I gave someone tools their life hadnt naturally conditioned them with and they werent prepared for it.

There was a hiker who fell off a cliff. Her legs and pelvis broken. She reported not feeling pain until she managed to drag herself miles to a road where she was rescued. If it is necessary your brain will turn it off. I only recommend doing it manually in cases of people who have endured lifelong trauma to rebuild normal function. On a whim you can never guess how their prior life experience might react with the changes.

Oh and as far as sisters go, I built an automatic laugh responce into my sister, any time something hurt shed start laughing. She liked the change for a while because it would scare people into leaving her alone, eventually she ran into enough where it was just encouragement and asked me to make it normal so people would stop wanting to hurt her.... it did give her an entertaining stint in physical therapy though after a spine surgery. They thought she was the happiest patient they ever had.

< Message edited by DerangedUnit -- 7/23/2015 12:54:34 PM >

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 12

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 1:53:56 PM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

Very interesting.

I don't believe that the medical issues apply, because we're specifically discussion mental manipulation and behavior modification.

If your experience, I'm guessing from TOS that you were not an adult making your own decisions. That also makes a difference.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit
After I did so a girl that before couldnt handle pain and was a typical bedroom submissive dropped out of her math major and became a fulltime slave for a guy who passed her around and beat the crap out of her regularly. I gave someone tools their life hadnt naturally conditioned them with and they werent prepared for it.

This is interesting to me. I'm assuming you were both adults. And she consented? Was it discussed beforehand? Was this something you were doing within an existing relationship, or just on a whim?

The hiker, again, I don't believe applies, because it was a traumatic injury. Different set of circumstances altogether.

Sister... She liked it, then she didn't. How is that any different from someone choosing to get a tattoo, then regretting it? Was she an adult? Were you?

I'm not attacking you, just to be clear. I'm very curious.

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Post #: 13

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 2:46:41 PM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

The mind is the most important medical issue, it is after all the control center for the body.

We were both 21 I was called by a dom I had left a few months back saying he had a girl with him that wouldnt stop freaking out. She had lied about her experience level and he had laid into her..... the guy was a douche by my standards so I went to get her out of there. I thought the easiest way to coax her back into a stable emotion state would be to numb it until I could get her away from him, because it's what I would have wanted. She latched onto me saying she loved me and saw me as her savior and I figured it would wear off as soon as she got back in a normal environment. Shed learn not to meet guys off the internet and go about her life, but after I dropped her off she messaged me a few days later bragging about how much better she was getting at handling pain. She was trying to copy my behaviors and no amount of trying to explain the folly in that reversed the effects.... people need to feel the trauma of the moment so they know to avoid it later. I made a lot of mistakes with that one, but it's impossible to know all the effects of every person. If I had stayed with her long term and taken it slowly it probably would have been fine, but I wanted to get her away from him as soon as possible. Because I did it too quickly she never adjusted back to normalcy.

A tattoo doesnt alter your personality, who you are fundamentally as a person.

No worries, I didnt see it as an attack just sounds like you are trying to understand where im coming from... which can be difficult ;)

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 14

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/23/2015 7:09:42 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Well, thanks to everyone for the replies. I shall try to incorporate what I can and hope it goes better! :)

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to DerangedUnit)

Post #: 15

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/24/2015 12:33:57 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Tell him not to be so hard on you. To be lighter. To rub your ass between spanks. To stimulate you sexually so you come to associate spanking with arousal and orgasm.

^ Good advice. OTK spanking can be very erotic, orgasmic even. It is all depends whether you know how to stimulate the pudendal nerve.

". . . is there anything I can do to hasten that along if it is possible?"

There is something he can do as well. If his goal is your mutual pleasure, not just torture, there are techniques that will make spanking a pleasure for a non masochist. For example, if you do it right, you can make spanking an erotic pleasure for a vanilla non masochist. Check out this thread and the links in it to learn about the pudendal nerve and spanking.

-=Does spanking lead to sexual arousal?=-

_____________________________

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 16

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/24/2015 2:14:20 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

The mind is the most important medical issue, it is after all the control center for the body.

We were both 21 I was called by a dom I had left a few months back saying he had a girl with him that wouldnt stop freaking out. She had lied about her experience level and he had laid into her..... the guy was a douche by my standards so I went to get her out of there. I thought the easiest way to coax her back into a stable emotion state would be to numb it until I could get her away from him, because it's what I would have wanted. She latched onto me saying she loved me and saw me as her savior and I figured it would wear off as soon as she got back in a normal environment. Shed learn not to meet guys off the internet and go about her life, but after I dropped her off she messaged me a few days later bragging about how much better she was getting at handling pain. She was trying to copy my behaviors and no amount of trying to explain the folly in that reversed the effects.... people need to feel the trauma of the moment so they know to avoid it later. I made a lot of mistakes with that one, but it's impossible to know all the effects of every person. If I had stayed with her long term and taken it slowly it probably would have been fine, but I wanted to get her away from him as soon as possible. Because I did it too quickly she never adjusted back to normalcy.

It seems to me, even from this short story that you did not alter her mentally enough to change all that. She was on that path to begin with. She was searching for dangerous thrills when you rescued her.

Perhaps you inspired her in ways she didn't know existed, but you take too much credit for the path of her life (even if you were a turning point), as she was an adult engaging in mental roulette before you engaged.

quote:

A tattoo doesnt alter your personality, who you are fundamentally as a person.

It can, much more than a single evening (that's what it sounds like) with a friend. After all, it stays with you for years, and can determine whether you get a job, how people view you, etc.

quote:

No worries, I didnt see it as an attack just sounds like you are trying to understand where im coming from... which can be difficult ;)

*nods* Good.

_____________________________

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Post #: 17

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/24/2015 1:29:50 PM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline

Hard to give a full picture of an event in text too. Since a lot of emotional feedback is involved. I never know which are the parts of a story other people find relevant... some day im going to "force" someone to sit down with me and dictate their reactions to various small details so I can try to figure it out. :P

Until then...
most of the lifechanging events that have shaped and changed me over the years were single events that triggered a new perception. Obviously past experiences play a role. But one event can often shock the system into change. Maybe not as lifechanging as someone deciding to get dogpaw tramp stamps... but fundamental shifts in personality. For example until 3-4 years ago I could not feel pleasure.one day triggered the change that allowed that to evolve. its usually a lot harder for people to shift their personality though, most dont consciously do it... they just slowly evolve and remember how impulsive they used to be in their youth or something like that.

I think there is a switch that is flipped that then sets of a multitude of processes, those processes are what people start to identify as change. Like with addiction, they start treating the drinking, stop drinking... I think the drinking is just another proccess caused by a switch that was flipped somewhere. Find that switch, you solve your problem. Granted I dont think it would work for most people, I doubt everyone analyzes every fragment of their life enough to recognize the thought that started the chain of events.... if people could there would probably be a big upsurge in thought police.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 18

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/24/2015 2:20:54 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

Thanks for the input.... though, I certainly will NOT be 'telling him' to do anything, it's not that sort of show, doll. I really was hoping to keep it focused on what 'I' can do, if that makes any sense?

If you aren't being honest with him about your reactions, and about what you need to find this a positive experience, then you're lying.

Lying by omission, but still lying. Is that what he wants you to do? To lie to him? Is he that insecure that he can't hear that you are disliking what he's doing, and beginning to dread it?

Because eventually the truth will come out. Probably when you refuse to take another spanking and hard limit it. Or when you walk because you can't deal with it any more.

Really think that's the best way to handle it?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 19

RE: I have some questions about spanking... - 7/24/2015 3:48:17 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Um... WTF? No.

It is a very new relationship and I have not come on a public forum to discuss my relationship with a bunch of strangers... however, I would like to find ways for ME (NOT HIM) to improve in this very particular aspect. He knows exactly where I am at and I him. I just was hoping that maybe there were breathing techniques or something that would help ME take more enjoyment out of the pain part of spanking. I have to say, it seriously chaps my ass (way more than a spanking) when people get on this higher than though band wagon and start blaming the dom or accuse a submissive of being shifty or topping from the bottom when they have no clue what is happening in the moment, and when all that was requested was INFORMATION.

Damn, now I am pissed.. I think I need a spanking....

_____________________________

We must move forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom...... The Simpsons

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." ...Ambrose Bierce

"Don't you oppress me!"....Stan/Loretta

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 20

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> I have some questions about spanking...

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