RemoteUser
Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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It continues to amaze me how people work.
UllrsIshtar, your logic seems to be based almost solely on my profile. This topic wasn't even about me, it was about how people evaluate other people, but since you've chosen to be viscerally personal, let's put my whole profile here for a moment.
"I am a storyteller without an audience; a lone father with a bright young lad; an unoppressive leader.
Friends are all I seek. I am not the sum of a handful of scribbled thoughts, so it is better to ask. It is how we educate ourselves, and one another. To the one I know will read this: be safe. you are remembered."
Read this however you want, but don't skim it to the point that you lose all sense completely.
It says right upfront that I'm a single father, that I don't believe leadership is oppression, and that I only want friends. It says that because I'm not ready to go after someone else right now. I had a relationship of three years end in a spat of cheating and lying that was so brutal that I do not want anything more than friendship until that wound heals. The scribbling refers to my journal, which is three years and hundreds of entries long, and says quite a lot about me if someone is inclined to read it. Telling people to ask about what I write is an invitation to offer commentary and criticisms, which I rarely get and would, as a writer, appreciate. It's not a hook to get a girl interested - I'm not that dense.
And if you're wondering, yes, the last line is directed towards my ex. I don't like being hateful towards others, even if they do hateful things to me.
So my profile says a lot about me, and is quite fitting to the purpose I want it to serve, but none of it, whatsoever, has anything to do with the topic at hand. I'll remind you, again, what the topic is, since it was totally derailed by a very unimaginative assumption that this thread is about me and not about the ethics of social interaction. (Sorry, I'm loud and crude at times, but not quite that arrogant - unoppressive, remember?)
Are people so busy, as you put it, to take the time to know someone without having them advertise themselves? Do you have to force others to consider you interesting before they frankly give a damn? If so, I can say for myself that it seems a bit ADD/ADHD to expect people to grab you and take your interest from you to matter or count for anything. If we are so deluged as a society that nothing counts without a forcible invocation of personal stimulation, what does that say about the development of the modern individual? Of course people will be drawn to things they find interesting, but inflation of the ego to the point that it overrides intellect and the natural urge to discover and learn, seems absurd.
Though it seems that that's exactly the case here. Even the tacit assumption that this was about me speaks volumes - it assumes that I'm driven enough by ego to feel the need to do such a thing in the first place, which is kind of funny when who I am is actually taken into consideration. The idea of this being an intellectual exercise in exploring how people interact with one another was completely overlooked by said assumption, which in a strange way fits nicely with the idea that people also need to be stimulated to react in interest, a prod of ego in place of the natural desire to learn.
That's assumptive in and of itself, actually more theoretical, and while unfortunately also amazingly negative it has its place within the boundaries of the topic. If I were to move on that theory as a base, I would have to reply that this is precisely why I am so "antisocial". I'm not driven by what I need from others. I don't need to be flattered or bamboozled with any display, nor do I need to have a reason handed to me to be a sociable person. I'll send a friendly wave to someone just for looking at my profile, with no expectation of a reply. It's neighbourly. Sometimes the person who looks at me has a blank profile, no sign/clue/indication/alert of anything, as you say, and I can still say, how's the weather down in [wherever they are from]? If they want to talk, cool, and if they don't it's fine with me. The onus is not on them to be interesting in order for me to engage in pleasantries and kindness.
And that beings me back to the core of the topic as stated originally - is it not enough, to be enough?
_____________________________
There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.
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