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RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 8/17/2015 5:16:48 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

No, you're not overly sensitive. You're human and that means some things work for you and others don't.
If he views this as ownership only, he still needs to accept that to you it would be degrading.

If he doesn't want you to withdraw from him, to feel unsafe with him, then he needs to accept that you can't do this and have a good outcome. If he wants to work with you, hoping you will eventually change your view, that's one thing. But he needs to understand that you may never be able to handle this.

Fwiw, I view it as you do. To be cold and wet, stinking of his urine would not make me feel like a cherished possession, but like a pair of old boots to be worn in the mud and who cares if they get ruined.

My suggestion is that you tell him you can't do this, that you folks don't appear to be sufficiently compatible.

_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)

Post #: 21

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 8/20/2015 3:21:31 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

There's something else going on, basically he wants you to recreate a scene he had with someone else. He wants you to magically become her.

That's a red flag in my book. Because as long as he's invested in this past relationship, nothing you do will be good enough. Because he doesn't want you, he wants this woman he was with back then. While conveniently ignoring the fact that they aren't together for a reason.

If he isn't interested in you, in your authentic responses, and is asking you to act out something else while not admitting it's just role play, then I'd suggest finding someone who does like who you are instead.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 22

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 8/21/2015 4:04:49 AM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kayleigh133

Thanks for the great advise. Very helpful.
We been together 6 months.
The first 3 were totally vanilla.
He seemed string and alpha. But I didn't know what it meant.
My idea of sub/Dom was basement and devices. ( yes I know- very dramatic)
Little things started shortly after 3 months.
Little things began after.
Pinning me down, and hand on my throat- all of which I loved.
He then openly had the conversation with me.
Told me his lifestyle and said he would go slow and train me. Work with me. He's asked my limits- I don't know how to answer. How would I know until I've tried.
I believe I'm a sexual sub.
It appeals to me greatly.
The day to day lifestyle is more challenging.
I'm mouthy and outgoing.
He's asked to modify my wardrobe.
Warned me about my interaction with other men.

About the peeing.... I did ask after reading your messages

He said I own you. It pleases me.
You're mine to use and get pleasure from and you will love the feeling of being owned so completely. And he cherishes me. And of after once I don't enjoy or can't manage to do again then he will live with that

If you are like me...a lot of stuff that I considered "hard limits" or stuff I would never do, went out the window when I was asked by the RIGHT person to do it. I started dating a guy who also had a watersport thing.. He looked at my profile list and said "I have never met a slave that dislikes as many things as you".. I thought about it and responded "There are a LOT of things I don't LIKE, but not much I won't DO for the right person".. I am not a "service" type but I "get off" on being "good". You may hate it but..if he likes it and you get the positive feedback afterwards..you will WANT to do it again (and, yeah...been there..did it...did NOT get the Tshirt!)

I can relate...I am the same type of sub (ok..."slave"..I have a MUCH harder time using that word then "sub" and I have actually never been a "sub". I am always drawn to and click with those looking for "slaves"). There are just some of us that are built this way. There is a LOT of stuff we would not do or put up with in a vanilla relationship because, often IME, those have always lacked that deep connection that allows me to get to the "whatever makes you happy makes me overjoyed" level (too often there is a deep feeling that this person is more disposable to you or you to them...two independent beings looking out for themselves)

Regarding "humiliation" as a general kink (whether water sports, verbal dressing down..) Even a lot of the dominant types don't "get" why we can enjoy the humiliation anymore than they can understand why some dominants enjoy doing it and NOT because they think less of us.. Might be the kick of seeing how far you will go but it is, for me, knowing that I have found someone that I am willing to go that far for (yeah...I am the "selfish slave")

(in reply to Kayleigh133)

Post #: 23

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 8/21/2015 11:22:05 AM

Kayleigh133

Posts: 19
Joined: 8/11/2015
Status: offline

Tiemeinknottss- I think you are very right.
I believe I would do anything that makes him happy. Nothing feels better then when he is pleased with me and loving me.
I'm not sure if finding a "true Dom" one who lives it. Breathes it is the easiest first sub/Dom relationship to have.maybe it's the perfect first.
I can't say for sure.
I can say it's more intense and deep them anything I have ever experienced.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)

Post #: 24

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 9/4/2015 9:16:30 AM

Bhruic

Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla

I hate to be a downer here, and I don't mean to enforce a One Twue Way, but this is probably something you both should've negotiated before the a serious relationship dynamic came into play.

This is an oft said thing, and certainly it is ideal if it can happen... but I don't know how realistic, nor how critical it is.

BDSM is a relationship, like any relationship. And the average person muddles through it like we muddle through any relationship. No one on the vanilla side has a detailed negotiation about what they each expect sexually before starting a relationship, and BDSM is often no different. That kind of openness and communication often takes a little time, and some trial and error, to flower.

And while it is certainly true that some people engage in edgy and potentially dangerous play, that does not tend to be the case with neophytes, or at the beginning of relationships, so I don't see BDSM and kink as being quite so scary and dangerous as people sometimes make it out to be.

I think in most cases, as a BDSM relationship - and the nature of play - evolve, people can tell when the dynamic is beginning to approach what might be a limit, and that may be the appropriate time to discuss it. Or, for some people, that may be the only time they can muster the courage to discuss it.

Casual play with someone you are not in a relationship with is different. In that case I agree it is best to discuss what will happen up front. Of course, people that are comfortable with casual play are usually confident enough to express their desires and limits.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 9/4/2015 9:18:46 AM >

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(in reply to RockaRolla)

Post #: 25

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 9/4/2015 1:30:45 PM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

You've gotten some good advice here, so please read it carefully.

This is my take on watersports:

1 -- it did nothing for me

2 -- it was an absolutely fantastic experience that was incredibly bonding

The difference being how I felt about the person and my understanding of how HE felt about it. So the advice to talk about things so that you understand them from HIS end is spot on. But, if you don't really get off on his control and ownership, it might just humiliate you. And you are the only one who knows if that would be good humiliation or bad, in terms of how it effects you emotionally. You're not going to know that until you try it.

This-this-thisetty-this.

There are sooooooooooo many "kinky thangs" that I've done in the past that have been both 1 and 2 with different partners.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 26

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 11/27/2015 5:02:08 PM

mistressgenesis

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/12/2008
Status: offline

Have you told him how you feel when he says this?

Does he react in a loving way, or put you down by telling you that you're too sensitive?

If I feel that a sub is too sensitive, I will gently work to desensitize them, and to better communicate what works for U/us. Putting that person down for being sensitive is cruel, unless someone enjoys being put down for it.

I get off on humiliating subs who are into humiliation. Humiliating someone NOT into it is called abuse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kayleigh133

I outright asked him to elaborate
He said it's about ownership and closeness. That he has no desire to humiliate me.
He told me a story. A sub he had been with.he woke in the night. Needed to urinate.
He turned her over. Peed in her and on her.
Afterwards orders her while naked and wet to clean the bed and sheets.
I felt sad for her hearing the story.
I envision it different. Loving.
Afterward a hot shower and kissing and holding.
He has said before that I am willing to submit but only on my own term and I don't have that right.
Limits he will repwct but as my owner he can take me how he likes.
When I hear Thais works they sting. Feel mean somehow.
I'm impossibly sensitive :)

(in reply to Kayleigh133)

Post #: 27

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 11/27/2015 6:56:23 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Look - if urination isn't your thing, you need to tell him. Owner-shmoner... bla, bla, bla ~ and if he is trying to force feed it on you or make you feel like you're going to be abandoned by him because you're "not pleasing him or his needs" Give subtle hints that you're replaceable ----> that is a huge, HUGE red flag.
I also find it interesting that this all got going while you were already IN the midst of a budding relationship ~ I mean wth? Did he just watch bdsm porn out of the blue and that's when he started all this?

I don't get it
You gotta admit, that's a bit suspicious.
I'm seeing red flags all over your posts - may not be what you want to hear, but something here isn't sitting well with me.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 11/27/2015 6:59:30 PM >

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The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to mistressgenesis)

Post #: 28

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 11/28/2015 4:51:21 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

You've gotten some good advice here, so please read it carefully.

This is my take on watersports:

1 -- it did nothing for me

2 -- it was an absolutely fantastic experience that was incredibly bonding

The difference being how I felt about the person and my understanding of how HE felt about it. So the advice to talk about things so that you understand them from HIS end is spot on. But, if you don't really get off on his control and ownership, it might just humiliate you. And you are the only one who knows if that would be good humiliation or bad, in terms of how it effects you emotionally. You're not going to know that until you try it.

Boom!

QFT

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 29

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 11/29/2015 6:05:59 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

If you are like me...a lot of stuff that I considered "hard limits" or stuff I would never do, went out the window when I was asked by the RIGHT person to do it. I started dating a guy who also had a watersport thing.. He looked at my profile list and said "I have never met a slave that dislikes as many things as you".. I thought about it and responded "There are a LOT of things I don't LIKE, but not much I won't DO for the right person".. I am not a "service" type but I "get off" on being "good". You may hate it but..if he likes it and you get the positive feedback afterwards..you will WANT to do it again

This.
1000 times this.

So many people discuss limits. So few understand that like so much in life, they have less to do with limits per see than who they are being broken for.

And part of that RIGHT PERSON thing is an understanding based in trust and want and need to please.
With the right person, it will no longer be about the act and more that you are pleasing, that you are making him happy, and that doing so makes you happy and gives you fulfillment

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 30

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 11/29/2015 6:25:31 AM

Bunnicula

Posts: 420
Joined: 4/7/2014
Status: offline

First time I did watersports it was with a guy that I liked that I played with quite a bit. I found it a bit icky and that was about it.

Next time I did it was with Master. And OMFG it was soooo hot! It was in the bath and he pissed on me from head to foot and at the end he said 'you're mine now, bitch. Now get yourself cleaned up - this cock ain't gonna suck itself'.

Sigh...I love a romantic man!

_____________________________

"You are THE MAN!!" - some_random_internet_asshole
"You're not a very nice bunny" - some_random_internet_asshole's_sock

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Previously known as 'myotherself' or simply 'da bunny'

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 31

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 12/2/2015 11:00:37 AM

willeatcum69

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/22/2015
Status: offline

whatever Mistress or Master wants ! Although with that said i have submitted to males and females peeing on me in the bath or shower. It excited me only because they liked it. It is close to the outside of what my personal limits are. Personally I feel it is a degrading act one that is not for everyone.

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)

Post #: 32

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 12/2/2015 8:41:24 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

FR

I can share my experience. I am always disgusted by pee or poop. I am disgusted even my own pee. So when my x-dom told me he wanted to pee on me, I was like WTF?

But he said, he will do it in the shower, below my face, and I can clean myself and shower and wash myself immediately after.

I said, I will try it once, if I hate it, never ever again!

The first time he did it, I spent alot of time in the shower, scrubbing the hell out of my entire body! It didn't feel good. I felt degraded and disgusted by it. I remembered finally emerging from the shower, feeling clean, my x-dom was smiling at me, saying, "It didn't hurt you, it was no big deal right?"

I was like, "Yea...., it didn't hurt me, but I felt horrible!"

But he said it was a simple thing, and he allows me to clean up immediately after, we will always only do it in the shower. For him, he feels like his marking me with his scent. And he likes putting his mark on me. I guess it must be symbolic SINCE I wash the hell out of myself right after, so what scent does he actually leave! I get more smeared of his scent from his cologne when he wears them and has body contact with me.

But he was so happy with it, and I thought, yea, it's really no big deal, as long as I get shower right after, I guess I can deal with it.

And eventually, it started feeling, like an emotional thing. Me allowing him to do something I really dislike and detest happening that made him happy, irrationally made me feel closer to him.

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)

Post #: 33

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 1/9/2016 3:58:01 PM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

not me peeing on this slave or submissive is not a good thing.

| echo what RockaRolla said. things should be discussed up front, what you want, what you need, what he wants, what he needs, limits on both sides.

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)

Post #: 34

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 1/10/2016 5:01:52 AM

Sheilasockpuss

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/10/2016
Status: offline

By all means let him annoint you with his urine. you are his piggy slave. Does he shackle you top his toilet?

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)

Post #: 35

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 1/17/2016 1:32:19 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kayleigh133

He has said before that I am willing to submit but only on my own term and I don't have that right.
Limits he will repwct but as my owner he can take me how he likes.
When I hear Thais works they sting. Feel mean somehow.
I'm impossibly sensitive :)

This is utter nonsense. He does not have that right. He can not take you how he likes. You clearly are new and learning. You clearly aren't sure about what you want or need.

He is pushing and (in my mind) bullying you into submitting.

The thing is, Kayleigh, submission is a CHOICE. It is not something you can be forced into (at least not in a healthy relationship). It's just like a person pushing another person into sex before they are ready for it. And that too is wrong!

Are there things a submissive person will do - even though they don't want to? Sure. Are there things they will do that will make them angry - but do them anyway? Sure. Are there things they will do even when they think they aren't ready? Sure. But here's the difference. When someone is comfortable in this kind of relationship, there is a symbiosis. The dom pushes, the sub submits... where they can. And the dom pulls back. The dom re-evaluates. The dom makes safe and healthy choices. At some point the dom's wishes are more important than the thing the person dislikes... so a submissive person does it. It's rather like ... Let's say.... my best friend loves Italian food. I don't so much. Perhaps one night my stomach is upset, and I don't want to deal with food that is not comforting for me. So that night we go out to a diner and I have chicken soup. My stomach is better, she understands, and we have a pleasant evening together. A few weeks later, she brings it up again. She really wants to go to that cute little Italian restaurant. My stomach is ok. I'm hungry. I want to hang out with her, so I go. I deal with it. I eat food I don't love, and I focus on the conversation, the relationship, the atmosphere, the music, whatever. My dislike of Italian food is less important at this point than making my friend happy. My dislike of Italian food is less important than spending time with someone I love, listening to her tell a story, creating a memory with her as we sing the Frank Sinatra song that is played.

The question is.... are you ready to do this thing he wants you to do? If not, then don't do it. If so, then do it. There are enough fun things to do in KinkWorld that you needn't jump into something you aren't ready to do. And frankly, I'd hate to be with someone who wasn't creative enough to come up with something else to do!

Warmly,
sunshine

*Obviously this is my personal opinion and others will not agree with me. And that's fine.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Kayleigh133)

Post #: 36

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 3/5/2016 10:42:51 AM

HisForLife71

Posts: 72
Joined: 3/3/2016
Status: offline

It just showed complete control. Right at the behinning, I saw it as a hard limit. Never wanted anything to do with it. But a couple of months ago, for some reason my submission started going deeper, and I wanted ways to prove myself to him. I started thinking of that, and I realised I kind of wanted it.
I mentioned this to him, and he told me my feelings made a lot of sense. He did it that night. He loves my willingness to give him more of myself, hand myself over on deeper levels, smashing through all my initial "hard limits".
It was amazing. He said the look of nervousness at first, innocent fear, turning to utter deference and trust and devotion is a wonderful gift to him. He sees my whole demeanor change.
It was such a feeling of his dominance, it was amazing. He grew even more superior to me in my eyes.
I have since swallowed a little of his pee. That was different, I did not like that at all, but thats the point. My submission is not dependent on my enjoyment or doing things that are easy.

_____________________________

WITHIN HIS CAPTURE, I FOUND MY RELEASE

(in reply to ChrchofDrk)

Post #: 37

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 3/7/2016 8:10:29 PM

BlueRoses1111

Posts: 48
Joined: 5/3/2015
Status: offline

This is one of my most arousing kinks.
There's so much going on in mind during this play but I wouldn't spring it on anyone as it tends to be a hard limit for many.

Perhaps he desires training you to eventually crave it. Then again, it may just be forever your least favorite activity.

(in reply to HisForLife71)

Post #: 38

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 3/8/2016 7:40:43 AM

HisForLife71

Posts: 72
Joined: 3/3/2016
Status: offline

I am currently working on a task on this subject. He wants me to get to a point where I can swallow a full amount of his pee. Not for the particular fetish of it, but for a show of absolute submission. My training started on sunday night and he gave me three lots, from the same "sitting" as it were.
I genuinely struggled. The third part was the most, he really gave me a good mouthful and oh my god it was probably my biggest physical challenge yet to swallow that amount. Really messed my head up. Thought I would either spit it out or throw up, but I didn't.
So far, he has put it to me as part choice for me to do it. He has now said he is taking that chouce away and will just order me to do it. Of course I could give a safe word, but I won't.
He knows both schools of thought have their advantages, but him taking my choice away makes it easier in some ways for me.

_____________________________

WITHIN HIS CAPTURE, I FOUND MY RELEASE

(in reply to BlueRoses1111)

Post #: 39

RE: Watersports- what my Master wants - 3/8/2016 10:08:09 AM

mousekabob

Posts: 187
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kayleigh133

I have only recently met my first Dom.
He sought my out and new what I was long before I even did.
Our relationship is strong.
It goes between a daddy/little girl & master/slave bond
He has made his desire to urinate on me very clear.
I believe he desires it both for the humiliation factor but also the sense of ownership and marking his territory.
This would be a big step for me.
Please help my understand the experience.
Can it be pleasurable?

It can be, yes.

Try it once in the tub. If you don't like it and you both are ok with that, then take a shower and don't do it again. No harm, no foul.

If he enjoys it and you decide it's a hard limit, then you both have some talking to do and decisions to make.

_____________________________

aka littlewonder
------------------------
Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Kayleigh133)

Post #: 40

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