Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison

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cloudboy -> Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/1/2015 7:25:15 PM)
There's another thread about M-F ratios, but look at the startling numbers for Ashley Madison. See below. Ratio of Male to Female users from the Ashley Madison hacking: 37 Million Male Accounts to 12 Thousand Female Accounts That's a ratio of 3,083 to 1 (M to F). ^^^^ Got this from Bill Maher And (it gets better) --- Ashley Madison faked female profiles to lure men in, hacked data suggest But the user records laid bare by hackers last week tell a very different story: Of the more than 35 million records released, only 5 million — a mere 15 percent — actually belonged to women. This discrepancy may be the smoking gun that proves something angry users, industry insiders and government watchdogs have alleged for some time: that when it comes to reporting their own user numbers, paid-dating sites distort, manipulate … and sometimes straight-up lie. “Ashley Madison has paid people to write profiles, and they’ve allowed fake profiles to proliferate on their site,” said David Evans, an industry consultant who has contracted with Ashley Madison in the past and has tracked the business of online dating since 2002. “Tons of sites are guilty of that. That’s not news.” https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2015/08/25/ashley-madison-faked-female-profiles-to-lure-men-in-hacked-data-suggest/

cloudboy -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/1/2015 7:34:14 PM)
Also from the WP article: "Whatever the exact cause, on the adult sites Pitcher (an investigator) worked on, real women accounted for less than 2 percent of total profiles." >“There is, undoubtedly, widespread pseudo profiling and fake messages still going on in the industry,” Pitcher said. “If you don’t have pseudos to try and fulfill the sexual desires of these men … men wouldn’t keep signing up.”< ----- "Ashley Madison is a male-dominated platform nearly devoid of women." >On Aug. 26, gadget-news site Gizmodo published a blog post written by editor-in-chief Annalee Newitz that examined the makeup of Ashley Madison’s userbase and how users actually engaged with the site. Newitz found that while the leaked Ashley Madison database shows 5.5 million female profiles, “there’s a good chance that about 12,000 of the profiles out of millions belonged to actual, real women who were active users of Ashley Madison.”< http://fortune.com/2015/09/01/ashley-madison-women/

DerangedUnit -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/1/2015 7:37:24 PM)
Hate to tell you but all hookup sites do that, actually most sites in general... its called marketing. Ive worked as a bot... though its considered a "writing gig" pretty much got paid $18 an hour to do what guys do for fun. When you launch a site you dont launch it empty or people arent going to sign up, you attract business by making it look active.

crumpets -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/1/2015 9:44:48 PM)
You need sheep to lure the (paying) wolves to the honeypot. BTW, as I recall, the number of "real" women wasn't even anywhere near 5.5 million (those were Ashley Madison's numbers). It's much (much) worse (like millions to none) in the reports I saw. Anyway, just for the record, we also discussed this discrepancy on the recent thread: Male:Female ratio on collarspace

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 11:00:43 AM)
It will be interesting to see after the media attention fades away whether men continue to sign up for and spend money on that site. Edit - long before the Ashley Madison meltdown I wondered about the validity of the site's premise. I know that some reported studies say married women cheat almost as much as married men do. A cheating married man I know tells me the same thing. But in my gut I don't believe it. I believe when married women cheat, for the most part, it's as part of the process of ending their marriage, while married men cheat as part of business as usual. The AM revelations I think lend some support to my instinct about this. Either married women don't cheat anywhere near as much as married men do, or they don't use social media sites to do it. I wonder what is true.

NookieNotes -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 11:27:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 Edit - long before the Ashley Madison meltdown I wondered about the validity of the site's premise. I know that some reported studies say married women cheat almost as much as married men do. A cheating married man I know tells me the same thing. But in my gut I don't believe it. I believe when married women cheat, for the most part, it's as part of the process of ending their marriage, while married men cheat as part of business as usual. Women don't cheat physically quite as much as men, but nearly as much (a bit over 2/3). But it's rarely planned. More often, it's a sort of hormone NOW!! thing with women.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 11:46:05 AM)
Women don't need paying (for the guys) 'cheating sites' in order to find somebody to cheat with. They can find a guy in the 'wild' or on any number of the free dating sites (free for the guys, thus increasing their own odds because of more availability). If all you're looking for is an affair, Craigslist is a much more practical choice for most women. In addition to that most women looking to cheat have a harder time moralizing this behavior than most men looking to cheat. Women looking to cheat will often deliberately place themselves in situations where they can be seduced by another man, and ~unexpectedly~ 'fall' for somebody else who 'swept them off their feet'. After all, if it's 'love' it's not really her fault... she was just overwhelmed by her emotions, and everybody knows women cannot control their emotions... right? Thus she won't be on Ashley Madison when she's looking for an affair, because being on Ashley Madison admits (to herself) intent to cheat (and cheaters are bad people, and she's not like that). Instead she'll be in a bar on Friday night getting drunk wearing far too little for her age, and acting inappropriately flirty with every guy who strikes her fancy until she finds one who -totally unexpectedly- sweeps her off her feet. This is intensified even by the fact that a lot of women 'trade up' when it comes to relationships. These women won't leave the previous guy until they've got something better lined up. Thus a lot of women who look to cheat aren't looking for a guy who's looking to cheat. They're looking for a guy to be the next "Mr Right Now" and are just staying with the current one until they confirm they've got him. Men on the other hand have less trouble owning up (to themselves) to the fact that they're looking for a piece on the side while having no intention on actually ending their marriage.

tj444 -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 2:18:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy There's another thread about M-F ratios, but look at the startling numbers for Ashley Madison. See below. Ratio of Male to Female users from the Ashley Madison hacking: 37 Million Male Accounts to 12 Thousand Female Accounts That's a ratio of 3,083 to 1 (M to F). I dont care about the numbers or ratio of any site.. it boils down to quantity vs quality and none of the sites (including here) ever gave me the "quality" I was looking for which doesnt really make sense since I am a chick and there are so many more men than women on all the sites... you would think that i would find someone.. I finally just gave up on online dating..

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 3:46:29 PM)
I've said this before, but it is so apt: for women here, the odds are good but the goods are odd [:D]

crumpets -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 4:09:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 Either married women don't cheat anywhere near as much as married men do, or they don't use social media sites to do it. I only have a little experience with married women, but I would tend to agree with you that the married women tend do it because they're looking to replace their relationship, while the married men are supplementing theirs. In addition, women don't need social media to meet men. They just need to exist, and men will meet them. As for Ashley Madison's numbers, I suspect, based on the reports I've seen which show a dearth of women, that any "women" on there either were professionals, or, they were merely curious (based on the activity figures, many so-called "female profiles" were actually inactive since the day they were created). The reports stated most women almost never checked their mail, while the men constantly did.

crumpets -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 4:12:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar a lot of women 'trade up' when it comes to relationships....and are just staying with the current one until they confirm they've got him. Men on the other hand ... they're looking for a piece on the side... This seems, to me, to be an apt depiction of the observed behavior! Hence, the women don't "need" Ashley Madison to satisfy their unmet needs, while the men use such a site as a tool to satisfy their unmet needs.

crumpets -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 4:14:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 the odds are good but the goods are odd [:D] That's far better, and funnier, than the campfire quote that men are sluts while the women (who are trading up) are the whores - or - the high school quote that men give love to get sex while women give sex to get love.

DerangedUnit -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 4:46:23 PM)
I have a hard time believing women actively look to cheat unless it's an act of revenge(oh yeah ill show him I can get some too). I think it is MUCH more likely that women assume being around other men is harmless and they can be friends, since the guys know they are taken.... then when the guys try something they just go along with the flow. Ive known a lotttttt of women(with jobs that placed me around models often)and ive never heard of a woman who one day decided "im horny, im going to fuck my husbands best friend" ..... maybe they exist. But a site that women would go to to hook up... find it incredibly unlikely. Even the "trading up" mentality... I dont think women actively look to trade up, they just fall into guys that come along.... might have to do with the number of submissive women ive been around but even dominant ones ive known take a fairly passive approach to choosing a mate. I suspect that when most women cheat it's not a conscious action they just "let something happen" if a guy catches his friend in bed with his girl, he doesn't usually get mad at her first.... he punches the guy first. It is instinctual for the man to assume it was the mans fault since women rarely initiate such behavior(unless, like I said, it is out of anger)

crumpets -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/2/2015 5:48:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit I think it is MUCH more likely that women assume being around other men is harmless and they can be friends, since the guys know they are taken.... then when the guys try something they just go along with the flow. This is a very interesting perspective, which, to me, makes a lot of sense.

NookieNotes -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/3/2015 7:56:38 AM)
A few notes on women and cheating: http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/Near-Ovulation-Your-Cheatin-Heart-6713?RelNum=6713 http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/comm/haselton/papers/downloads/ovulatoryshifts.pdf http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1559901/ Just saying. It's not about planning, as has been noted. It's often about hormones saying, "NOW! NOW! NOW!"

tj444 -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/3/2015 8:47:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crumpets quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 Either married women don't cheat anywhere near as much as married men do, or they don't use social media sites to do it. I only have a little experience with married women, but I would tend to agree with you that the married women tend do it because they're looking to replace their relationship, while the married men are supplementing theirs. In addition, women don't need social media to meet men. They just need to exist, and men will meet them. As for Ashley Madison's numbers, I suspect, based on the reports I've seen which show a dearth of women, that any "women" on there either were professionals, or, they were merely curious (based on the activity figures, many so-called "female profiles" were actually inactive since the day they were created). The reports stated most women almost never checked their mail, while the men constantly did. well,.. ummm... er... (cough, cough)... I was on that site for a while, years ago when I lived in Canada and still under the same roof with my hubby.. he had one bedroom and I had the other bedroom.. we were more like roommates (no sex, no nothing).. it was a time when I was trying to decide what to do.. I "met" a married guy on there, we never met in person tho, we just emailed each other.. he was sorta going thru something similar with his wife.. the upshot was that eventually we both decided to end our sad, sorry marriages... He eventually met someone that lived in his area.. my marriage was hell on earth and now i look back and wonder what took me so friggin' long to walk away.. That guy was the only guy i emailed from that site, never met anyone from that site in the flesh (clothed or otherwise).. After deciding to end my marriage, that site was no use to me anymore since I wanted a real relationship so attached/married men were off the menu for me.. I wonder if some of the (inactive) women profiles on the site were married women who signed up just to see if their hubby was on there and cheating on them (or trying to).. [:D] The problem with all online dating sites, sites like Craigslist & those "hook-up" apps is that it makes cheating for men so easy now.. which makes trusting someone you are dating and want to have a relationship with really hard to do.. Cheating seems to have become the norm..

cloudboy -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/3/2015 9:30:46 AM)
My focus is more on the Chicanery of these dating sites -- and as we all know -- a big refrain here is the lack of women on the other side. (Not that AM and CM are the same.) I'm not a proponent of life-long monogamy --- and most humans are against in their actions while giving stupid lip service to unrealistic, "romantic," wedding vows. Everyone wants to cheat their way out of a bad contract -- which is generally what marriage vows are....

DerangedUnit -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/3/2015 12:15:17 PM)
I wouldnt say most. There are a great many people who like the concept of having something that is theirs and only theirs... hense the whole "ownership" thing. People who want to cheat werent ready for marriage in the first place, or they entered it under false pretenses. Thinking the agreement was onr sided. I do think people tend to rush into marriage and relationships in general before they even have themselves figured out but there are plenty of beneficial reasons to be monogamous and plenty of people who enjoy it.

longwayhome -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/3/2015 1:28:02 PM)
I'm not sure that we can be very sure about why men cheat compared with women, beyond saying that everyone has their own personal rationalisation. A female friend of mine who was attached, but tended to hook up with people "spontaneously" at the end of most nights out, reacted with a good deal of gender based rage when she found out her quiet stay at home husband finally had an affair. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when all the standard cheating men stuff was quoted. On a slightly different note, women will often report a cheating partner to their friends while a man may be too ashamed to admit it when their partner cheats. All these things are self reported and how people see themselves may not be the best guide. I'm inclined to believe women cheat as much as men (allowing for the professional sex worker adjustment) but both sexes see and report their infidelities through the lens of their own values. What is certainly true is that a woman going out at night (or onto a hook up site) is guaranteed sex if she wants it whereas that's not automatically true for a man. This is often quoted as if it's an unfair advantage. It's great if you can regularly find your perfect hook up, not so great if you have to settle for what's on offer. Sometimes I wonder if all these men taking so many risks for a shag are really wanting no strings sex. In a world where men are often emotionally isolated, is looking for a bit of extra-marital sex sometimes a clumsy ill-considered way to connect with another human being in the only way they understand, when they can't connect with their own partner?

tj444 -> RE: Male to Female Ratios -- Look at Ashley Madison (9/3/2015 1:31:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy My focus is more on the Chicanery of these dating sites -- and as we all know -- a big refrain here is the lack of women on the other side. (Not that AM and CM are the same.) I'm not a proponent of life-long monogamy --- and most humans are against in their actions while giving stupid lip service to unrealistic, "romantic," wedding vows. Everyone wants to cheat their way out of a bad contract -- which is generally what marriage vows are.... married or not, "romantic" to me is seeing two old farts (in their 70's, 80's, 90's) holding hands as they walk down the street and still looking at each other with love in their eyes.. For some reason that used to exist, where couples thought of the other first, not themselves first, but society has changed, people have become narcissistic and self-absorbed carrying around their selfie stick and cell and tweeting about their superficial experiences.. when people are like that, of course life-long monogamy isnt realistic.. heck, 1 week of monogamy could be asking too much!

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