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Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 4:50:40 AM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		I am rather new to all this and have run into a dilemma.  Something in the vanilla world I would have had no problems jumping right in and shooting off my opinion but life has changed and do not know if I should say anything or not to save someone true pain.

There is a self-labeled Master here that sends out this form letter soliciting for a sub/slave, go figure.  giggle I have personally received this letter about four times on this site alone.  Well anyways, he is searching for "his one", which is nice, has spoken with him, and claims he only wants one, not a poly.  Well over the last few days, he claims to have collared his one.  Also, see a woman claiming he has collared her as well.   Great, hurray, happy they have found "their one", shoot where is mine.  giggle  Recently signed up under another lifestyle site, and bam, three days after they claim they are all set, he’s still sending out the same form letter and claiming just that he is still looking for, "his one".

What a liar and a cheat.  Do I say something to her?  Being new, I do not know what to do?  Do I walk away and let her find out on her own?  From you experienced and more knowledgeable then me, HELP.

Barbara

< Message edited by gardenia100 -- 7/17/2006 4:56:04 AM >
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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 4:56:38 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Do you know these people personally?  Are you even sure that they aren't the same person?  Forget it. 

(in reply to gardenia100)
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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 4:59:28 AM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, same person,  he uses the same head and shoulder shot in both sites.

Barbara

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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 5:02:42 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, personally, I'd let her know if you think she is in danger of becoming collared or even intimate wit this person. But I would not broadcast it online and ruin their "reputation". Because eventually, he will most likely do that himself, hehe.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/17/2006 5:09:47 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to gardenia100)
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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 5:09:31 AM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Susan,

Thats just it, they are claiming she has been collared any thing else is a no brainer and let them figure things out for themselves.  If he was poly, shoot let them be, but in their posts here they portray one thing yet he is still actively searching for "his one", elsewhere.

Barbara

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 5:13:39 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I actually have no experience in this situation, but, if he is claiming to not be poly, my gut reaction would be to e-mail her - as long as you know this isn't the kind of guy who is going to come to your house and shoot you, or something.
I think she has a right to know. Keep in mind, she mght not listen or even want to hear it. But at least you warned her.

But, I would not spread your opinion of this guy online or anything - his actions will eventually become known to other folks, and he sounds like he may be pretty close to being in an unaware"self-destruct" mode anyway (but that is my value system speaking).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/17/2006 5:15:04 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to gardenia100)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 5:15:59 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I meant that maybe he and she are the same person.  Just fucking with everyone's head.

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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 5:27:45 AM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you bandit25.  I understand what you are saying now, (sometimes the rocks don't line up properly first thing in the morning and have to get shook a little bit).  I don't know, there is a male picture in his profile and female picture in hers.  Without actually meeting someone do we ever know they are, who they claim to be?  Personally have only met a handful from this site and so far everyone I have met has been honest, however I do realize many fakes and cheats out there. 

Barbara

(in reply to bandit25)
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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 7:02:31 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		You know, if you don't know them personally, it's none of your fuckin business what the fuck they do. If he is collaring this woman and still looking it'll be found out eventually. Besides, who the fuck do you think the woman will believe, some nosey, busy-body that sudden plops some crap about her "One", or the man she's collared to? People need to learn to mind their own business sometimes.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to gardenia100)
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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 7:11:43 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Good Monday Morning to you Mr. D,

You seem to be having a bad day <grin>. I hope it gets better <smile>.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 7:19:58 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Now, let’s not jump to conclusions.  He could be in the early stages of Alzheimer’s

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to gardenia100)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 7:26:40 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Unless she is a personal friend, I doubt it'd do much good and it only makes you look bad to point fingers. Sometimes, we have to experience something in order to learn. Perhaps his lessons are that a form letter doesn't find good subs/slaves and that collaring someone 30 min after they meet doesn't ensure they are "the one". Perhaps her lessons are the same. In the end, we sometimes have to let people make their own mistakes. Unless she's in physical danger, my opinion is to just let it pass. If you've seen his pattern of behavior, perhaps she's smart enough to see it too.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to gardenia100)
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RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 7:27:30 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bandit25

I meant that maybe he and she are the same person.  Just fucking with everyone's head.


My first thought was "there is no submissive, they are both him". Did you ever know someone as a kid who told a lot of lies because he or she imagined people would like him or her better as a result? Like, I have a pony, or a swimming pool, or whatever. Well, those people grow up older but sometimes dont grow any deeper.
This guy thinks he looks more attractive if he's taken. He might "break up with" the submissive some time in the future so that he is available again. That way, we subs think "Well, gee, he isnt a psycho or weirdo because femaleslaveinlovewithhim00760 was with him for months and it just didnt work out but boy did she seem happy! Just check out her journal entries!" cause, you know, we're gullible like that.

This guy has it all figured out, doesnt he? In his mind, he's got submissives figured out, but just can't seem to bag one for himself. His rules:
-We love a well-written letter (never mind it's a form letter and he forgets who he sent it to already so we might get it several times).
-We are always more attracted to men who already have girlfriends (so just make one up).
-A picture gives any letter or profile more credibility (except when you use the same picture to tell two different stories to the same audience).
This is not exactly common but you will see it more than once.

Then again, he could have really collared a woman and be looking for another. Either way, it isnt up to you to alert her. The Universe will take care of the situation.

My best advice would be to just ignore all of his incarnations.


< Message edited by justheather -- 7/17/2006 7:38:08 AM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 7:29:02 AM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		To the op-butt out.

People need to make thier own mistakes.

It's arrogant to think you can make thier choices for them.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 7:40:55 AM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		fast reply:
 
 JMHO, I don't think the OP was meaning to butt in and mess with anyone. or be a busy-body.   I think she was/is worried about another person getting hurt in a relationship that is a lie.
 
 
I wouldn't let it weigh on my mind, it's something that if she is in, she will have to learn on her own.  Next time, maybe she will not accept a collar online and wait till she can be in person with him.
 
~Andrea (flutterby)

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 7:45:16 AM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you MasterFireMaam,

I have read other situations such as this and trying to learn, just did not understand if in the lifestyle being a stranger if I should do anything, say something or just keep quite?  Now I have heard both answers which means same as in vanilla world its up to me. 

Thank you for your time and your honest well thought out responce. 

Barbara

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 8:03:32 AM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		I did not mean to butt in, or make anyone’s decisions for them.  I could have told you from the beginning who they were or who the represent themselves to be but have not.  I only was asking if there was some kind of unwritten rule or anything of the sort.  Thank you sleazybutterfly for clarifying that for me. 

Looking for guidance, thought that is what these boards were about.  To learn but unfortunately some of you have turned around and just use them for your own personal I want to bitch at the world and I have a captive audience.
 
Barbara


(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 8:10:44 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		One problem with e-communication is that it is very difficult to guage inflection of the "voice" and a person's intended meaning when using terms with multiple connotations.
Please take the good and leave behind what you dont believe is useful to you. That's the best we can do in this type of forum.

People express themselves in many different styles. Style does not acurately always convey mood or intention. Still, words are powerful.

quote:

...just use them for your own personal I want to bitch at the world and I have a captive audience.


This is even more common than the scenario I described above. ;-)


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to gardenia100)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 8:13:28 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you for the sentiment, Cloudz. It's not a bad day that got my ire, it's people thinking that they need to butt into anothers relationship when they don't know either of the two in the relationship and and come on here looking for support. Take out the explatives and the message is still the same, it's none of your business so don't get involved. Once again, thanks.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Truefullness in the lifestyle. - 7/17/2006 8:21:53 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Mr. D,

You are most welcome. I understand your reaction...I also tire of the non stop nonsense - it is such a treat lately to find a thread that is not repetitive, ridiculous, or written by a hng. Which is not to say that the OP was any of these, but at best...misguided?

It is refreshing, Mr. D to have someone voice my sentiments without the sugar coating...as you definitely did <grin>. Keep up the commentary...I love it!

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 20
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