Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

lots of surprises


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> lots of surprises Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 11:52:30 AM   
johnsk


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline
A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility. You message that person, and no reply. have this happened to others?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 1:00:05 PM   
MissKatya


Posts: 341
Joined: 12/21/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility. You message that person, and no reply. have this happened to others?


I just want to point out something that I know others (including myself) have pointed out before in past posts;

"A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility."

Your problem is that there is too much "I" in your expectations. Just because you feel that someone may fit your needs, it doesn't mean that you fit theirs-especially when you mention more than once that you are willing to compensate a meeting with dinners and gift cards.

That could be translated to your only concern is having YOUR needs met and if someone is looking for someone who is more dedicated to a lifestyle situation, then you wouldn't be compatible, no matter how in sync your interests are. It's the classic "carrot dangle".

My suggestion would be to drop the offer for dinners and gift cards and offer it once something has been established as a token of appreciation.



_____________________________

"The desire to inflict pain, that is all that is uppermost"-Albert Fish

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 1:04:01 PM   
bounty44


Posts: 6374
Joined: 11/1/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility. You message that person, and no reply. have this happened to others?


almost the very definition of irony---I took a few minutes to give you a thoughtful reply to your query and sent it to you via a private message---which you "deleted unread"

shmuck.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 1:41:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
You must realize that profiles do not tell everything about a person. So if they dislike negativity and you have negative journal posts, that will be enough for them to know that you aren't perfect for them.

Many times, women will sign out and then search for your profile. So they can decide whether or not to reply without you knowing that they looked at you.

And of course, when you hover over a message you get to read the first few lines without opening it.

No reply is a reply. It's a rejection. Accept that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to bounty44)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 3:28:07 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
I read your profile. You won't appeal to lifestyle Dommes because you only seek an occasional partner for spanking. Lifestyle Dommes generally want a relationship. You won't appeal to the ProDommes because you just want to buy them dinner for compensation when they can earn a couple hundred dollars for a 1 hour session. You might appeal to another switch who is also only seeking an occasional spank partner. You won't find many of those.

Also, your age is against you. I don't say this to be nasty. I am 64 and it's just a fact.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 3:40:19 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bounty44


quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility. You message that person, and no reply. have this happened to others?


almost the very definition of irony---I took a few minutes to give you a thoughtful reply to your query and sent it to you via a private message---which you "deleted unread"

shmuck.


Priceless.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to bounty44)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 4:15:36 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
So perhaps the place for you would be in your local community where you might find compatible spanking partners at play parties.

If you are looking for a relationship rather than a spanking hook-up then your profile needs to reflect that.

http://findamunch.com/tag/utica/
https://rochesterkinksociety.com/links.html


_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 9:40:27 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility. You message that person, and no reply. have this happened to others?

You whined about this a year ago in this thread. How long will you continue to be surprised that people just aren't into you?

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: lots of surprises - 9/5/2015 10:43:33 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
How long will you continue to be surprised that people just aren't into you?

Thanks for digging that up, as it seems to be the number one reason people won't respond.

Many reasons seem to be obvious, but that seems to be the first.

Another reason, which I often ignore, is when someone contacts me from out of state, or from the bottom half of my state.

Another reason could be the puerile trash that some people write when they first contact a profile.

Yet another reason could be that the profile they're contacting hasn't been viewed for months by its owner.

Another reason is that the owner's mailbox is filled to the brim such that it's practically impossible to reply to all (and why should the owner bother?).

Yet another reason is that the profile is, shall I say it, um, fake. If you're messaging a profile of a petite 18-year-old babe, I have news for you. That 18-year-old babe has whiskers and a beard and he plays video games all day, in addition to creating female profiles for entertainment purposes (or for research).

Some profiles (I ran into one once, and reported it, and it was removed, and they created a second one, and I reported it, and it was removed) are from LE who is seeking a certain profile for whatever purposes they may have at the moment.

Some profiles have mail filters set up, for example, to ignore anyone from another state or country.

We could probably go on and on, so, if the OP isn't just whining (for years on end?), then I would ask the OP what kinds of profiles he is messaging.

I'd ask for only the basics, e.g., age with respect to the OP's age, location with respect to the OP's location, keywords with respect to the OP's keywords (e.g., submissive, switch, couple, etc.).

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: lots of surprises - 9/6/2015 3:53:15 AM   
longwayhome


Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility. You message that person, and no reply. have this happened to others?


What? Really?

They were perfect for you but didn't reply?

So many possible answers to that one, but given free will and the large number of messages flying about, it's hardly a surprise.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: lots of surprises - 9/6/2015 8:03:43 AM   
MissKatya


Posts: 341
Joined: 12/21/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef


quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility. You message that person, and no reply. have this happened to others?

You whined about this a year ago in this thread. How long will you continue to be surprised that people just aren't into you?



Ah....the truth revealed. Good catch!

_____________________________

"The desire to inflict pain, that is all that is uppermost"-Albert Fish

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: lots of surprises - 9/6/2015 8:15:09 AM   
IcarusBurning


Posts: 107
Joined: 2/1/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnsk

A few times, I have found profiles that just seem to fit what I seek perfectly, or least a good chance of compatibility. You message that person, and no reply. have this happened to others?


Its way too common.

First thing I would say is try to judge whether you are what the other person seeks perfectly. Sometimes that is not the case.

If it looks like a mutually great fit (at least judging from the profiles) and yet there is no reply... well, been there umpteen times. Let out a sigh, breathe deep and move on. Honestly, nothing better to do.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 12
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> lots of surprises Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125