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RE: Men, Describe how it feels like to - 10/3/2015 1:09:24 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul
No way you can spin this. This is judgmental. This is implying that someone is abnormal and doesn't belong here.

Unlike red, I have apologised and in the future, I will word it differently with the same question. Because my intent was not to hurt people, I have no problem learning from it and changing the way I phrase things in the future. So man who I said it to admitted he was hurt from this. And I apologised. I don't know what else do you expect me to do about this other than what I have already done?

quote:

The implication being that he is ashamed of it?

Actually that was my response to his implication that people should be ashamed for loving sex for sex.

quote:


And this is another example of the error that you make in so many of your observations. You cannot tell context.

You can't hear tone in writings, so anything anybody writes me, whether it's sarcasm or joke, I will take it seriously that the person means exactly what that person says. There is no way for me to tell if the person is joking or being sarcastic. You may be able to see it and get it, because you came from the same culture, but I won't get it because we don't talk like that. I would really need the *sarcasm* symbol to be out there for me to get it as sarcasm.

quote:

Yes, we know that you 'hear' all sorts of things. Time and time again you say 'a friend of mine from America told me...', and then you treat whatever your 'heard' as the gospel truth and make ignorant, blanket generalizations about the country. Or generalizations about some other country based on what you 'heard' about it.

But it is what I learn from people from those countries tell me about their own country. And many men are based in those countries, just travelling here for work, so of course I will believe they are not lying to me. Why would anybody want to lie to me about their own country and how it is like over there?

quote:


You do know that there is a lot to bdsm that isn't about sex?

Of course there is many kinks without sex, that's why I asked him that question, so maybe he'll explain what his into that he hangs around here.



quote:


Apparently, its everyone's interpretation. Still don't see it?

It's not everyone's interpretation. It's a few people's interpretation. You cannot lecture me that I cannot form my conclusions on a few people's opinion by now insisting that I form my conclusions on a few people opinions. Do make up your mind when you are dishing advice to me.

quote:


Now you are accusing him of lying in the first place. Nice.

Actually any man who tells me his a virgin, it's my first instinct to not believe him, especially in a kink site. Yes I do find it hard to believe that a kink site would be filled with virgin men. And that is just my impression that usually men into kink are liberal about sex. So I was surprise he exists. Being surprise that someone of a particular made up exist isn't derogatory in any way. Just like most men are surprise that I hate to french kiss. Because that's not common.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
So if you get paid for it, you are a whore. But if you don't charge for it, you are a genuine woman? Or normal? Interesting.

I use the word whore, like I use prostitute, and like I use sex worker. It's not derogatory but merely a description of their career. If there is a political correct word to use for sex worker that is the least insulting to people working in that industry, do enlighten me and I will always use that word in reference to them. As I said, I am not a political correct person but I have no problem to stop using words that hurt people who are actually in those careers, as I really respect them as human beings.

quote:


You don't want to admit it, but yeah you did.

I didn't insult him. That's the truth. If he felt the way I worded things felt like an insult to him, that's how he feels about it, but does mean it is true that I intentionally insulted him and was trying to insult him. Two different things.


quote:


All you have done is try to explain how everyone is misunderstanding you.

Because it's true.

quote:


Your language is telling, even if you don't want to admit it.

I call the man I love the most, words like asshole and dickhead. It's just how I talk. My brothers call me bitch and whore lovingly. I know this is difficult for you, but I hang around people where such words can be used as words of love instead of hate. Because I've always felt, the best way to combat nasty words is to change their meanings and what they mean to you. It's exactly like in a D/S relationship sometimes when verbal humiliation play is going on, your dom may call you whore or slut but it's all words of love.

quote:


Nothing against Ishtar, but this is a good example of your how treat things you 'heard' as the gospel, and base entire opinions and posts on that. Before Ishtar said this, you were basing your beliefs on what 'all the guys' told you. And going on quite a bit about it. Now, 1 person that you don't even know has told you something different, and you are ready to invalidate 'everything' you 'heard' from 'all they guys' before.

I have alot of respect for Ishtar even though I also had alot of clashes with her in the past especially over Gorean things. But one thing for sure, she is a role model to me in a way where she is what she is into and she's comfortable with her own sexuality and everything that she is. So anything she says, I do take as the gospel truth. And if it's the wrong interpretation, she will clarify to make sure people get accurate information. That's Ishtar.


< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/3/2015 1:18:03 AM >

(in reply to Wayward5oul)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Men, Describe how it feels like to - 10/3/2015 1:20:28 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

DANG IT!!
I really want to know what it feels like for a dick sliding into a vagina for the first time, but this topic has gone way off track.



Agreed!! Me too!

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Men, Describe how it feels like to - 10/3/2015 1:22:13 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

If that is your interpretation, that's your problem. A man saving his virginity till 60 is very rare. I am curious what motivates him. My questions were sincere.


And mine as well.
You didn't come across in the slightest as curious about his motivations, or sincere. You came across as mocking him for his idiocy of still being a virgin at this age, as if the only thing that's stood in the way of him is him being to dumb to figure out how to 'fix' the situation.
You also came across as proposing that the fact that he's still a virgin is somehow a problem, and something to be ashamed of, that he needs to change as soon as possible.
And lastly you seemed to imply in a very negative judgmental way that people who are asexual, or have diminish sex drive, or don't want to have sex at all (not saying those apply to you ashjor) have no place on a BDSM site and should just go away and let the 'grown ups' spend time together.

Might not have been what you meant, but that's how it read.



I will change the way I phrase my question the next time I bump into a male virgin. Because I will still be curious about why he chooses to stay a virgin.
How can you ask a man why is he a virgin without him feeling attacked for being a virgin?



(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Men, Describe how it feels like to - 10/3/2015 1:26:25 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ashjor911
no, & I don't want to put it in any vagina, its more to me than just sex. it has other sort of aspects than just dicks & vagina`s ..
it has aspect of feelings & connection real connection not shallow connection of someone offering someone a drink from across the room.


Thank you for explaining this. Actually this is all I wanted to know. But your initial reply was because you were based in the middle east, and that lead me to alot of other conclusions. If this was your first answer, that would be the end of it. Thank you. As everything derailed from the moment I took your words very seriously that you lived in the middle east which lead to a whole loads of other stuffs. So I am guessing now, the middle east part was a big lie on your part. Or sarcasm, which how would I know.

As I said, I've apologised and you do not accept my apology which is fine with me. There is nothing more I can do. But perhaps you can help me by teaching me what's the best way to ask a man why is he still a virgin without him feeling like his being attacked? Because I think, the whole problem started with, you didn't like the way I asked my questions or form my statements anyway.

I won't respond to anything else you have said because, clearly, you do not like the way I phrase anything and the more I re-explain, it will continually sound more and more offensive, so I don't see a solution to it especially if clarifying my intent was not good enough. I will just have to leave you to be offended. And I've done my part to apologize.

But if you want to help future virgin men from feeling judged by me, then give me a political correct way of asking "Why are you a virgin?"

I promise you I will use it. Lack of Diplomacy is my biggest weakness in life as I am blunt and straight forward, so I can always learn.




< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/3/2015 1:43:08 AM >

(in reply to ashjor911)
Profile   Post #: 64
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