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dreamlady -> RE: Definition of slavery (10/7/2015 10:27:57 PM)
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Ishtar, all of your siblings should have gotten named after deities. What would desert rose be in your language, or whichever language was used?
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ORIGINAL: alpha499
I believe you are sincere and and you are just stating your opinion, i was also sincere when i said a sub can be trained too many different ways according to the psychology of the parties involved in the deal. and Yes notaBULL it is all about sex and affection. dream lady you forgot that i clearly stated fear ( of a mistress ) is secure, in BDSM fear goes parallel to the real fear we instictively know, but it is not the same, therefore it is rather a figurative fear or allegoric, a kind of fear a humam being can distinguish while a cat cant, danger at animals is danger. period.
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Why would I want my slave to fear me? I'm not the type of a Mistress who inspires submission and subservience through fear. If I were, then I would be encouraging negativity, and I do not invite negativity into my life. Period.
fear generates respect, in BDSM fear is a form of indirect humiliation which you cannot deny to your sub if you are a domme. and it is not negativity because it is in fact occuring in a different dimmension BTW i dont have a mistress as of yet no body wanna undertake this tremedous task of defeating an alpha male.
Not to get hung up on semantics, but I don't believe in obedience training. Those who do get into that sort of thing should both be on the same page. I have to laugh, though, when I think of my European friend whose parents were FLR. He told me how his last Mistress would crook her finger or give him a slight nod to the head, and he would click his heels together in attention! Oh, I found that hilarious, how he would goose step it around her. He craved a more intense level of discipline, and her domination style was much more subtle than that. This is why it's so important for both parties to share the same D/s wavelength.
One submissive wants strict discipline, another doesn't. A slave may need to be micromanaged, another doesn't and is quite comfortable thinking for herself or himself without having to be told what to do constantly or be given the SAME instructions over and over again. Jeesh. That kind of sub would drive me nuts. I want a man, not a childish boy who can't wipe his own ass for himself. His duty is to serve me and make my life easier and run more smoothly, not for me to have to do all his thinking for him.
Not everyone gets into punishment dynamics. Not everyone gets into humiliation. I don't want a sub I have to put in his place because his level of submission is such that he doesn't know his place or where he stands with me.
Having said that, I will tell you that I am exacting (rather than demanding), and anybody who is close to me knows where they stand at all times. You can term it training, but I like to think of it as teaching and of having my sub read my cues. No different than what I have done with vanilla men. Zero tolerance is zero tolerance, and conduct unbecoming a gentleman isn't tolerated (unless I give the green light for that under certain circumstances). I don't get into bratty behavior or acting-out, and I won't put up with passive-aggressive little mind games. I refuse to play them.
Yes, it would appear as a guestimate that 95-97% of submissives want to be humiliated in one form or another, to one extent or another. I have neutral zones where I have factored in those kinks or fetishes that don't really do a whole lot for me, but it would be a treat for my sub. I am not always a "My way or the highway" type of Mistress, depending on what kind of give and take is on the table. However, I decide what works and what doesn't, which buttons to push and which ones not to push. That's where the D/s trumps BDSM, as far as I'm concerned, because I am the Dominant in charge of leading the relationship, not my sub's service Top.
Like Ishtar so aptly put it early on in this thread, if I want my man to fuck me in the ass, then he better be more than happy and willing, as in overjoyed, to have earned that privilege to please me in however which way that I want to be pleased and serviced. [sm=kiss.gif]
DreamLady
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