Can o/l stuff work? (Full Version)

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lilshadowpet -> Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 10:08:53 AM)

pet is a pet always..she chats in yahoo but the question keeps coming to mind...Can having a o/l Master truely work out for both?



cariad -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 10:39:54 AM)

this slave has been with Master for 17months now and most of it has been online, although W/we recently met in Aug. of this year and it was a great meeting.

there is no reason it can't unless it's something you or He don't really want. originally Master had told this slave that O/our relationship was to be strictly online, but after a bit He said He wanted to meet r/l and as she said it was a good meeting and she really enjoyed her time with Him and is looking forward to seeing Him again soon.

hope this helps a bit, and please let U/us know how things work out for Y/you.

[image]local://upfiles/52786/6F33E2E6FBB345AC933C6E7CE0386355.jpg[/image]



Mercnbeth -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 10:40:12 AM)

NO.



INSIDEYOURMIND -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 10:42:26 AM)

Online can't really work, because it's not real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



proudsub -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 10:50:09 AM)

quote:

Can having a o/l Master truely work out for both?


I had an online Master for 2 years and it worked very well with complete honesty and explicit scenes and a good imagination. However i felt i needed to try this in real life and after experiencing that i would never go back to online.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 11:23:56 AM)

proud,

Know that I (and beth), have the deepest respect for your posts and opinions. So this isn't coming from attack, but rather to make a point from what you posted.
quote:

However i felt i needed to try this in real life and after experiencing that i would never go back to on-line.


Isn't this illustrative of it NOT working? Why seek more if o/l met all your needs? I'll assume there are few if any, on-line subs who were as dedicated as you. With that assumption doesn't that prove the point that ultimately - it doesn't work?



perverseangelic -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 1:39:28 PM)

It depends on the sincerity and desires of both parties.

I have been in one online-only relationship. At the time, that is all myself and my partner wanted. We didn't have any desire to take it offline. Too, I took it as seriously as I have ever taken a "reallife" realtionship.

However, that said, I'd never do it again. For me, it was only worth something before I had the guts to move realtime.

HOWEVER. If both parties are content with online-only interaction, and are honestly invested in the realtionship, I think it can work untill one or the other wants to move to realtime.



proudsub -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 3:22:53 PM)

quote:

quote:

However i felt i needed to try this in real life and after experiencing that i would never go back to on-line.

Isn't this illustrative of it NOT working? Why seek more if o/l met all your needs?


I felt the online experience was a good one and worked while we were involved. I never sought or planned to seek a r/l dom. When i was approached by a local dom in a chat room we became online friends and decided to meet and it went from there. My online dom encouraged me to try it in r/l, said i needed that, so i did. Maybe i didn't word my original comment quite right.



MrThorns -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 3:30:09 PM)

I believe thatonline relationships can work for awhile....but I also believe that the relationship needs to develop if it is to continue to exist and the only way to do that is to take it offline. A lot of great connections can happen online if people are honest with themselves and their partner, but at some point you're going to want more than just text on a screen.

~Thorns



GoddessJules -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 4:05:21 PM)

I don't mean to sound like Bill Clinton. . .but I guess it depends on how you define the wrod "work." According to proudsub and perverseangelic, it can "work" in a certain place in time of a person's life. Depending on needs and expectations, *theoretically* I don't see any reason it can't "work."

I personally wouldn't want one, but I know that it is all that some people can do due to whatever situations in their lives so I won't knock it unless I walk 2 miles in their Pradas.

Jules



TaurusMCMLVIII -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 10:03:33 PM)

quote:

Can having a o/l Master truely work out for both?


Obviously this is a personal preference. Can an online D/s relationship work for both? Sure it can as long as that is what they both want. I have spoken to many whose only experiences are online and they are quite satisfied with it. For me, strictly online D/s is not satisfying at all. Nothing replaces the physical connection that is achieved with r/t experiences.



CloudThrasher -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/29/2004 10:32:38 PM)

Although many would argue this point, the truth of the matter is that it's deciding what you are satisfied with. Are you satisfied with fantasy or do you wish the real thing? Online D/s relationships and BDSM are fantasy; they do not exist. The reality of the situation is that they require (at least) two people in physical contact to engage in BDSM and to build a relationship.



EStrict -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/30/2004 12:34:21 AM)

I don't think I totally agree. It's not *just* what you are willing to accept, but also *what* reality you are willing to live in.

Proud, I think you are commendable for having come clean with your husband, but I am going to ask you something seriously.

You online dominant TYPES:

Your are tied to the bed, arms tied to both post. You feel the chill of my breath along your naked body. Your nipples tingle at the feel of my breath, hardening the red buds to sentisitve points... then you take an intake of breath of the feeling of the clamps I place on one then the other, pinching, causing you to cry out....


Now,,, has your current dominant (your husband) ever done that to you? Was it *more* real, ,,, did he cause additional thoughts/feelings/reactions in your body?


Sure.... you can *enjoy* online,, but to me, it's comparing mastrubating while looking at a really hot partner to getting to FEEL that partner... sure,, there is *some* satisfaction when you come,, but is it REALLY the same? Or just a shallow imitaion some accept when they do not have the *real* thing?



Nvernilla -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/30/2004 2:30:14 PM)

I've always found that O/L relationships involve so much loneliness that thay are counterproductive to my wants, needs and goals anyway. Tip of the hat to those who can be satisfied by such a thing but its not for me. The choice is a different one for each person and even within this elite genre we are so varied that I'm sure you will recieve many viewpoints...Mike



proudsub -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/30/2004 4:20:10 PM)

quote:

Your are tied to the bed, arms tied to both post. You feel the chill of my breath along your naked body. Your nipples tingle at the feel of my breath, hardening the red buds to sentisitve points... then you take an intake of breath of the feeling of the clamps I place on one then the other, pinching, causing you to cry out....


Now,,, has your current dominant (your husband) ever done that to you? Was it *more* real, ,,, did he cause additional thoughts/feelings/reactions in your body?


Yes He has and it definately was more real. [:D] But i still would not discourage someone exploring this lifestyle online. Online is not all fantasy. Quite often the dom will have the sub do things in r/l, either on cam, over the phone or on their own then report back to their dom. At the cam site i used to frequent quite often a sub would be on public cam with an online dom directing them, that was always fun to watch.[;)]



TheWarriorSage -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/30/2004 9:20:33 PM)

Hello lilshadowpet,

As many have said here, it would depend on what you are looking to experience, and how you would define the phrase "does it work".

Let me preframe by saying that this is my opinion, and has many have also clarified, these are all just personal perceptions of D/s...

I believe that online is a tremendous place to gain knowledge about the lifestyle, but that to characterize that gathering of knowledge as "experience" or as a relationship... is a very limited perception to what the depth of a true experience or true relationship has to offer.

I understand that for many, this is all they have available to them at the moment, so again I revert to my statement about what you are looking to experience, and how you define an online relationship "working".

When I am doing training in business settings, I often use this metaphor...

There is literally a world of difference between "knowledge" and "experience". A person could read every book written on the subject of skydiving. They could purchase and watch every video on skydiving. They could invest 10's of thousands of dollars in attending classes with the best teachers on the subject and purchase top of the line skydiving equipment. They could even wear that equipment and jump from a training tower. They could be the most knowledgable person in the world on the subject of skydiving.

But until their butt jumps out of an airplane at 15,000 or 20,000 feet. They have never truly "experienced" anything close to skydiving. The actual experience is something that rarely compares to the knowledge base you have because all of a sudden you are having a full sensory experience that will affect you in ways you never thought possible... creating mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical responses that can only be created by the real life experience itself.

So again, it is my opinion that if you are looking to gain knowledge... online is a great place to be Mentored. But that if you seek to truly experience the depths of a D/s relationship... you will be left with knowledge... not experience.

On a personal note... I personally believe that when in an online relationship the title a person would hold is a bit different than in real life. In an online relationship I can see someone being a Mentor, but not a Master. Again, it is only my opinion, but I believe that the title of Master has much more signifigance and is used in a disrespectful way if being used in a situation where it is on more of a "fantasy" level.

I have been Mentor to many online over the years, and have embraced that title. I have also held the title of Master, but only in real life relationships. To me, Master is meant for when you have reached a level of commitment and communication that you can only reach through "experiencing" each other.

In any case... just my two cents and I wish you well



perverseangelic -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (11/30/2004 10:32:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessJules
I don't mean to sound like Bill Clinton. . .but I guess it depends on how you define the wrod "work." According to proudsub and perverseangelic, it can "work" in a certain place in time of a person's life. Depending on needs and expectations, *theoretically* I don't see any reason it can't "work."



IMHO, this is true of -any- relationship, not just one online. They only work in a certain place and a certain time for a given individual. They only work if they meet needs and fufill (some or most) expectations.

I honestly think an online realtionship is like any other realtionship. It works if it is what an individual needs/wants. If it doesn't fufill needs, or if a person isn't committed to it, it doesn't work.



lilshadowpet -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (12/1/2004 7:07:36 AM)

thank you E/everyone for Y/your feedback everything said is helpfull and is greatly appreciated ~smiles~



masterLon3446 -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (12/5/2004 8:01:33 AM)

One old mans opinion......heed what MrThorns and Mercnbeth are saying......thats it simply....

MasterLon



barelynangel -> RE: Can o/l stuff work? (12/5/2004 8:54:03 AM)

Interesting question. I personally do not see how anyone can truly understand the reality of a relationship without experiencing the actuality of the relationship. If you are only online you are merely guessing at your reactions. For example, if you kneel online and have never knelt in front of a Man, you can only guess what it will feel like. And if you have but never have in front of the Man you become collared too online, you will only be guessing what you would feel.

Can the relationships work? sure if your expectations do not allow for the reality. Some people are perfectly content because they are married or such to live through relationships online. But if you have any sort of fluttering to be reality online will never be enough and the stirrings for the actuality will eventually kill your online relationship as not enough.

Its all in what your expectations, wants and wishes are, in my opinion. Thank you for allowing my comments.

angel



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