capu5761
Posts: 17
Joined: 2/3/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
quote:
ORIGINAL: capu5761
Well luckily I do not think she has seen the movie and I know for sure she has not read the book.
By actually controlling (dominating) her and the situation, instead of being driven by your own desires.
But that I mean:
You're a guy, you're a Dom, you have ideas, fantasies, desires, lusts, kinks, perversions that you want to be able to indulge in with her.
However, now is not the time for any of those. Because chances are, that your ideas are WAY ahead of hers. If you're going to push her on what you want to be able to do with her as her Dom, you're going to shut her down, before you've got a chance to get to any of them, and it's going to be a really negative situations for both of you.
So step back from your own desires for a moment, and come up with a plan instead.
You've got her to point A, you want her to go to point Z (the land of your fantasies). To do that, you need to get her through the entire alphabet first.
So talk to her, go through a kink check list with her, find out where her fantasies are, what her idea of kink is, what turns her on, what scares her.
Now you know what she likes, what she wants to try, what she fantasies about, so give her a LITTLE bit of that. Tease her a little, feel her out, be very focused on sticking exactly to what she likes. Make sure, above all else, that whatever it is you try on her is a POSITIVE experience for her. Resist the temptation to push her any harder than to a place where you know, for a fact, without a doubt, that it's going to be 100% of the way a positive experience for her, even if that means that you don't get to do anything at all you like to do.
You've got her at B now. She liked it, and she's going to want more. So the next time, you still focus super heavy on her, and making sure she has a good time, but you try something new, something she hasn't done before but has mentioned she also likes. Something small.
You talk to her a lot again, figure out how it went, what she liked, what she didn't like.
And you go again, just a little bit further, still focusing on what she likes, but pushing the stuff she likes a little more, into more things, new things.
By the time you get to M or so, you slowly start introducing some of the stuff you like to do, but she's never really mentioned before. Small steps, still mostly focused on her, still mostly catering to what she likes, and she wants, regardless of your own desires, but with a little tiny bit of yours thrown in.
If you can manage to be patient enough to actually have a plan, and stick to that plan, and to build your plan around making sure that she feels happy, and safe, and positive about you introducing new things, you'll get her there.
But in order to do so, you need to actually control the situations, Dominate, in the sense that you're controlling yourself and your urges in order to teach her she's safe, and not ever let your dick lead the way.
It's a tall order, but it can be done... if you've got the self-control to pull it off.
This is along the lines of what I was expecting to do. I definitely have no intention of rushing her in any way and want to make it as pleasurable for her so she will come back for more and more. I like your idea of having her look over a list and check off the things she likes. That way I am not bringing it up nor am I suggestion she try this or that kink.
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How to train a women with sub tendencies? - 
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