To want or not to want

To want or not to want (Full Version)

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notaBULL -> To want or not to want (10/13/2015 3:42:12 PM)
When Dominant Females claim they want submissive males, are they really sure they want that, the feedback I am getting is that they get bored of these men very quickly, so what is the solution here?

peppermint -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 3:58:35 PM)
As with any relationship you date, you get to know each other, and most times you find out that it's not going to work long term. That means you break up and start to look for someone else who might be the one. It doesn't matter that it's a Dominant/submissive relationship. It will still be like any other relationship. I certainly did not marry the first man I dated. I certainly did not form a long term relationship with the first Dom I met. It's not boredom. It's incompatibility. It's just not going to work.

notaBULL -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 4:02:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peppermint As with any relationship you date, you get to know each other, and most times you find out that it's not going to work long term. That means you break up and start to look for someone else who might be the one. It doesn't matter that it's a Dominant/submissive relationship. It will still be like any other relationship. I certainly did not marry the first man I dated. I certainly did not form a long term relationship with the first Dom I met. It's not boredom. It's incompatibility. It's just not going to work. Thank you for your feedback Miss

OsideGirl -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 4:11:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL When Dominant Females claim they want submissive males, are they really sure they want that, the feedback I am getting is that they get bored of these men very quickly, so what is the solution here? One of things that tends to prevelant in the D/s BDSM community is people jump right into a kinky sex relationship. They confuse tingly genitals for love. Then about 3 months into it, the bloom is of the rose and they realize that they don't like the person they're with. I'll also add that many people have unrealistic expectations of what is possible within a relationship. In some cases, they seem to think that D/s is some sort of magical power that suspends basic human interaction. Because of this, the average life span of D/s BDSM relationship tends to be 3 - 6 months.

notaBULL -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 4:35:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL When Dominant Females claim they want submissive males, are they really sure they want that, the feedback I am getting is that they get bored of these men very quickly, so what is the solution here? One of things that tends to prevelant in the D/s BDSM community is people jump right into a kinky sex relationship. They confuse tingly genitals for love. Then about 3 months into it, the bloom is of the rose and they realize that they don't like the person they're with. I'll also add that many people have unrealistic expectations of what is possible within a relationship. In some cases, they seem to think that D/s is some sort of magical power that suspends basic human interaction. Because of this, the average life span of D/s BDSM relationship tends to be 3 - 6 months. the average life span of D/s BDSM relationship tends to be 3 - 6 months. Yes that is the feedback I am getting as well, very short lived relationships. I hate that. As a slave at least, I CANNOT see the joy of serving for only 6 months. The pleasure is to see your owner blossom while her slaves spoil her for years, so this way, they can see her progress. Ok, thank you Osidegirl

MisterP61 -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 4:53:46 PM)
It has been a very, very, very long time since I have posted to these forums. So hello to all I do know and hello to all I do not. Yes Dominant women do really want submissive (not going to put gender here because not all women want male). My Wife is a Dominant woman and She has had submissives (not talking about casual play types) that have lasted way more than the 3 - 6 month range. Yes, quite a few are on here for the kinky sex, but others are wanting more than that. It basically boils down to finding the right match, and that really can't be found without any sort of time investment. For Our family it takes quite a long time to be (for lack of a better word) vetted. Some will work out and more will not. You get what you put into it time wise. MP

OsideGirl -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 4:55:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Yes that is the feedback I am getting as well, very short lived relationships. I hate that. As a slave at least, I CANNOT see the joy of serving for only 6 months. The pleasure is to see your owner blossom while her slaves spoil her for years, so this way, they can see her progress. Ok, thank you Osidegirl I firmly believe that the way around this is to not engage in a power dynamic until you've gotten to know each other. It doesn't have to be a protracted courtship, but go out. Meet in social situations, see how they interact with the world, talk about core values. Focus more on WHO they are rather than WHAT they are. Your chances of success will improve. There are a number of us in the forums that are engaged in very long term, power dynamic relationships.

J0K3ER -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 5:01:18 PM)
Dominance and submission can exist in two forms. 1- a preexisting condition of domaninance/submission ( desire to dominate or submit). this type of relationship is rather consensual ,solely based on a)admission, b)agreement,and c) potential compatibility .This won't set this type of relationship apart from any other social relation, except of few particularities, so , what is applicable here is applicable there. Form 2-unplanned dominance /submission emerging as a result of a casual encouter between two individuals . I will let you finish the thought ,nothing is set in stone.

OsideGirl -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 5:14:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisterP61 It has been a very, very, very long time since I have posted to these forums. So hello to all I do know and hello to all I do not. Hey MrP! Welcome back!

LadyPact -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 6:01:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL When Dominant Females claim they want submissive males, are they really sure they want that, the feedback I am getting is that they get bored of these men very quickly, so what is the solution here? I might not be the responder that would be the position you were looking for. I really don't think it's a case of folks getting bored. I know of female led relationships (female D/male s) that have lasted over decades. They don't seem to get bored. Some of them are very much in love, very compatible, and exceptionally happy. Me personally? I would get bored of the stereotypical 'lowly worm' types. The ones that have the air of desperation? I'm not suited for them, either. You want a quality D, right? Well, Dominant women tend to want a quality s too, if they are really going for the relationship thing. It takes a little more to be that than just picking a label from the drop down menu. There's also the part about being a good man, being compatible with your partner, and all of that other stuff if you are actually going to love a person. Can I give you some advice? The smartest thing you are ever going to do is listen to what the Dominant women are saying when it comes to the criteria that they use for the partners that matter to them. Most of it is about being a good man/human. Kind of like what vanilla people do, without the kink.

littleclip -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 7:49:56 PM)
i see a lot of want verses need the idea of a personal slave sounds wonderful but the application is something else when it comes down to the day to day relationship duties dishes trash laundry and even cleaning the cat boxes when we share the whole of the lifes experiences with them that's where the long term bonds will be made the relationships based on just one aspect will not likely live long, the ones where the lives are truly shared will last forever

notaBULL -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 7:58:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Yes that is the feedback I am getting as well, very short lived relationships. I hate that. As a slave at least, I CANNOT see the joy of serving for only 6 months. The pleasure is to see your owner blossom while her slaves spoil her for years, so this way, they can see her progress. Ok, thank you Osidegirl I firmly believe that the way around this is to not engage in a power dynamic until you've gotten to know each other. It doesn't have to be a protracted courtship, but go out. Meet in social situations, see how they interact with the world, talk about core values. Focus more on WHO they are rather than WHAT they are. Your chances of success will improve. There are a number of us in the forums that are engaged in very long term, power dynamic relationships. Go out? Jesus Christ, from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night, I do not know anyone in the entire world that went out more than I did.

angelikaJ -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 8:16:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Yes that is the feedback I am getting as well, very short lived relationships. I hate that. As a slave at least, I CANNOT see the joy of serving for only 6 months. The pleasure is to see your owner blossom while her slaves spoil her for years, so this way, they can see her progress. Ok, thank you Osidegirl I firmly believe that the way around this is to not engage in a power dynamic until you've gotten to know each other. It doesn't have to be a protracted courtship, but go out. Meet in social situations, see how they interact with the world, talk about core values. Focus more on WHO they are rather than WHAT they are. Your chances of success will improve. There are a number of us in the forums that are engaged in very long term, power dynamic relationships. Go out? Jesus Christ, from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night, I do not know anyone in the entire world that went out more than I did. Your version of going out has an entirely different context than her version. OsideGirl: quote: Meet in social situations, see how they interact with the world, talk about core values. Focus more on WHO they are rather than WHAT they are. You: quote: from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night

notaBULL -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 8:53:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Yes that is the feedback I am getting as well, very short lived relationships. I hate that. As a slave at least, I CANNOT see the joy of serving for only 6 months. The pleasure is to see your owner blossom while her slaves spoil her for years, so this way, they can see her progress. Ok, thank you Osidegirl I firmly believe that the way around this is to not engage in a power dynamic until you've gotten to know each other. It doesn't have to be a protracted courtship, but go out. Meet in social situations, see how they interact with the world, talk about core values. Focus more on WHO they are rather than WHAT they are. Your chances of success will improve. There are a number of us in the forums that are engaged in very long term, power dynamic relationships. Go out? Jesus Christ, from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night, I do not know anyone in the entire world that went out more than I did. Your version of going out has an entirely different context than her version. OsideGirl: quote: Meet in social situations, see how they interact with the world, talk about core values. Focus more on WHO they are rather than WHAT they are. You: quote: from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night what is your point Miss?

MikeRaven -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 8:59:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Go out? Jesus Christ, from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night, I do not know anyone in the entire world that went out more than I did. Every single night for 32-years you went to a strip joint? What did you get arrested for?

sexyred1 -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 9:01:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Yes that is the feedback I am getting as well, very short lived relationships. I hate that. As a slave at least, I CANNOT see the joy of serving for only 6 months. The pleasure is to see your owner blossom while her slaves spoil her for years, so this way, they can see her progress. Ok, thank you Osidegirl I firmly believe that the way around this is to not engage in a power dynamic until you've gotten to know each other. It doesn't have to be a protracted courtship, but go out. Meet in social situations, see how they interact with the world, talk about core values. Focus more on WHO they are rather than WHAT they are. Your chances of success will improve. There are a number of us in the forums that are engaged in very long term, power dynamic relationships. Go out? Jesus Christ, from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night, I do not know anyone in the entire world that went out more than I did. I doubt seriously that a strip club was not what she meant about going out. If that is limit of your version of going out, I feel sorry for you.

notaBULL -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 9:06:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Yes that is the feedback I am getting as well, very short lived relationships. I hate that. As a slave at least, I CANNOT see the joy of serving for only 6 months. The pleasure is to see your owner blossom while her slaves spoil her for years, so this way, they can see her progress. Ok, thank you Osidegirl I firmly believe that the way around this is to not engage in a power dynamic until you've gotten to know each other. It doesn't have to be a protracted courtship, but go out. Meet in social situations, see how they interact with the world, talk about core values. Focus more on WHO they are rather than WHAT they are. Your chances of success will improve. There are a number of us in the forums that are engaged in very long term, power dynamic relationships. Go out? Jesus Christ, from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night, I do not know anyone in the entire world that went out more than I did. I doubt seriously that a strip club was not what she meant about going out. If that is limit of your version of going out, I feel sorry for you. Well I do not like it when people judge strippers. For me, a stripper was the Goddess of all Goddesses. I just loved them. I never saw them as strippers or lower human beings and I chose to build my social life around them because I am attracted to Females who have many men in their lives and we all know that strippers are surrounded by men. I gave them a lot of money and never asked for anything thing. The only problem with strippers however is that they hate slaves, so was kind of going around in circles

notaBULL -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 9:08:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MikeRaven quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Go out? Jesus Christ, from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night, I do not know anyone in the entire world that went out more than I did. Every single night for 32-years you went to a strip joint? What did you get arrested for? ***TOS VIOLATION*** (No personally identifying or contact information.)

MikeRaven -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 9:18:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL quote: ORIGINAL: MikeRaven quote: ORIGINAL: notaBULL Go out? Jesus Christ, from age 15 to 47 the year of my arrest, I was in strip joints every night, I do not know anyone in the entire world that went out more than I did. Every single night for 32-years you went to a strip joint? What did you get arrested for? ***TOS VIOLATION* (No personally identifying or contact information.) "A man appeared in a *TOS VIOLATION* court Tuesday morning in a bomb scare and robbery at a New Brunswick liquor store. Michel *TOS VIOLATION*, originally from Montreal, faces charges of armed robbery and two counts of public mischief." So you are Michel *TOS VIOLATION***?

J0K3ER -> RE: To want or not to want (10/13/2015 9:34:43 PM)
let me cut right to the chase now, and in order to stick to the topic, your question is " do really dommes want male subs" this is the main question, I believe the answer is yes, IF they are genuine dommes, then it is very natural for them to seek subs. Do men and women seek and enter into marriages? yes. Do they ( in some cases ) wanna retract afterward and get a divorce? Also yes. this is a general rule that applies to ALL Men and Women regardless their sexual orientation or their Cultural background. your Q:<< are they really sure they want that >> I DONT KNOW, I really dont. e.g., A woman's hansdom, successful co-worker or colleague, may disclose his orientation to her as a sub whose interest is ONLY in dommes. what you think notaBULL ? her lucky day Huh! <<the feedback I am getting is that they get bored of these men very quickly, so what is the solution here?>> yes thats true, people lose interest, and if you think me, or anyone else here could give you the solution to this, you may wanna ask them to solve the problem of divorce as well. a D/s, M&S engagement is no different than any other Vanilla ice cream relationship.the question is how much efforts can you put towards the relation in order to succeed. couples committing to a long-term-relationship quelque-soit leur rôles, dom/es or subs, are not free anymore after making commitment, you as a dom/me have Obligations towards you sub and vice versa, so it is no privilege for the dom/me to violate the agreement by claiming unlawful rights to walk away from the deal.

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