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A true submissive ... - 10/14/2015 1:56:30 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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... when he sees that his mistress's glass is half empty, fills it.

Awww. Pithy, eh? Well, I liked it.

Seen on a 62 year old femdom's profile.

I do wonder whether there are D/s relationships that develop into something that's more like a philosophical or spiritual journey, as both partners edge towards their older years.

Bugger. There's a question in there somewhere, but I can't quite work out what it is.

So you will all have to work out what the question is and then answer it. Get on with it. And don't keep me waiting - I can't abide it when femdoms keep me waiting, as I believe I've made abundantly clear on prior occasions.

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Post #: 1

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/14/2015 11:11:34 PM

dreamlady

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
... when he sees that his mistress's glass is half empty, fills it.

I do wonder whether there are D/s relationships that develop into something that's more like a philosophical or spiritual journey, as both partners edge towards their older years.

Bugger. There's a question in there somewhere, but I can't quite work out what it is.

So you will all have to work out what the question is and then answer it.

I don't think your unasked question is whether there are lifelong D/s partnerships, because we should both know of or have heard of quite a few that have gone the distance.
I once believed I had one for the longest time, but Fate determined otherwise, cruel Mistress that She is.

Not to change the subject, but while we're musing and ruminating here, I have a better question to pose: What is the unhealed wound of the legendary Fisher King?

DreamLady

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 2

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/15/2015 2:38:48 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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The older partners I know still enjoy the lifestyle. They are out and making the most of it.

I'm sure there are more who choose to pull back and practice less rowdily... LOL!

I love the idea of the sweetness of a simple ritual. Hot tea in the morning for me. Someone sitting down next to me, their warm thigh covering my toes, which are nearly always cold (and I love that contact and way of sitting). Someone brushing the hair back from my face, or holding it back for me while I...

Well, anyway, it's the little things over time.

Is it true submission? Or true love? Hard to say.

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Post #: 3

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/15/2015 7:39:31 AM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
... when he sees that his mistress's glass is half empty, fills it.

I do wonder whether there are D/s relationships that develop into something that's more like a philosophical or spiritual journey, as both partners edge towards their older years.

Bugger. There's a question in there somewhere, but I can't quite work out what it is.

So you will all have to work out what the question is and then answer it.

I don't think your unasked question is whether there are lifelong D/s partnerships, because we should both know of or have heard of quite a few that have gone the distance.
I once believed I had one for the longest time, but Fate determined otherwise, cruel Mistress that She is.

Not to change the subject, but while we're musing and ruminating here, I have a better question to pose: What is the unhealed wound of the legendary Fisher King?

DreamLady

actually know the answer to this due to a long ago english paper on Le Morte d'Arthur in particular and the legend of The Fisher King in general throughout history. Heh, and here I thought that particular paper would never be useful!

< Message edited by SDFemDom4cuck -- 10/15/2015 7:40:19 AM >

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Post #: 4

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/15/2015 9:23:19 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

... when he sees that his mistress's glass is half empty, fills it.

A true submissive also knows when it's for the Dominant's own good to let him/her get up and get that drink.

Gary broke his hip in Aug. Those 25 steps to the kitchen and 25 steps back to his desk are needed exercise for him. So I will ignore the fact that he would like a drink or a snack so that he'll finally realize he should get his own. It's not always easy to let him get his own stuff. It would be easier sometimes for me to do things for him. In fact I sometimes feel a bit guilty. However, I have to remember what is best for him.

Gary is 74. I'm 64. I wouldn't call our journey together philosophical or spiritual. It's more dealing with reality. While we deal with reality we have a whole lot of fun and a whole lot of laughs.

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(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 5

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/15/2015 2:07:57 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck

actually know the answer to this due to a long ago english paper on Le Morte d'Arthur in particular and the legend of The Fisher King in general throughout history. Heh, and here I thought that particular paper would never be useful!

Could you share? I read about the Fisher King a long time ago - it was a really good story. I also read sort of pop psychology book - a good one, though - that was based on the legend of Percival and the Holy Grail. The Fisher King came up in that. I went a-googling after dreamlady's comment but didn't find out much.

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Post #: 6

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/15/2015 2:13:54 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Gary is 74. I'm 64. I wouldn't call our journey together philosophical or spiritual. It's more dealing with reality. While we deal with reality we have a whole lot of fun and a whole lot of laughs.

You are telling me what I want to hear, peppermint! I would *very much* like to think I'm heading for fun and laughs as I age ....

'Fun and laughs' sounds 'spirited'. For some reason the word 'spiritual' has come to mean almost the absence of 'fun and laughs'. Thus 'spirited' and 'spiritual' evoke two entirely different images and feelings these days. There's got to be something wrong, there. I have an enduring suspicion that stuffed-up windbags of a religious or neo-religious type have got hold of the word 'spiritual' and completely up-ended its meaning for everyone. Subject for another thread, maybe.

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Post #: 7

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/15/2015 2:17:31 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I love the idea of the sweetness of a simple ritual. Hot tea in the morning for me. Someone sitting down next to me, their warm thigh covering my toes, which are nearly always cold (and I love that contact and way of sitting). Someone brushing the hair back from my face, or holding it back for me while I...

Well, anyway, it's the little things over time.

Is it true submission? Or true love? Hard to say.

I'd guess that that's where true D/s and true love blend in to one another. Yep, simple rituals. A (quite young) male sub who used to post here, and one who I greatly admired - Undergroundsea - loved such rituals. I could see why. They can be so *enduring*; therefore, they can really help 'fix' the relationship. Me, I like rituals. Rituals are ace.

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Post #: 8

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/15/2015 8:22:33 PM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Rituals are ace.

Yes.

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Post #: 9

RE: A true submissive ... - 10/28/2015 11:09:15 AM

LuminousFire

Posts: 50
Joined: 10/19/2015
Status: offline

The glass can never be half full (an analogy i detest as one of the worst ever came into vogue several years ago. Even if it could be it could never be finitely measured. Those that know me, know I like my coffee cup or glass of wine filled to no more than 5-80%. And I doubt anyone likes it filled too 100% especially; hot coffee or chilled wasted chardonnay – good excuse for a carpet licking

You question escaped me.
You evolved to sharing. Sharing what
Another – rare treat
Cake muffin – No! – i put my slippers down but again those that know me know they can half of what I have.
I have no problems filling another’s glass if the other is correct.

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 10

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/1/2016 3:12:24 PM

anotherlosersub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/30/2015
Status: offline

i was married to a Woman who was 14 years older than me. We had a great femdom relationship for about 10 years and she decided that we were not going to play anymore. That was the biggest bummer of my life, now what?

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 11

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/1/2016 4:47:15 PM

DaveLuke

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/20/2015
Status: offline

i like that there are dominants out there that like that kind of service as i always fantasize about that. that is exactly the sort of thing i want to do for a girl. I mean sure the kinky bedroom fun is always desired but that's a very small amount of the time you spend together and I am really happy been in the service of a girl/lady.

I have noticed some people get offended if i use the term girl or lady so maybe i should just use the term dominant i don't know.

(in reply to anotherlosersub)

Post #: 12

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/1/2016 5:29:43 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anotherlosersub

i was married to a Woman who was 14 years older than me. We had a great femdom relationship for about 10 years and she decided that we were not going to play anymore. That was the biggest bummer of my life, now what?

If we stopped playing tomorrow, we would still have a D/s relationship, great love and great friendship.

The fact that you think it's the biggest bummer of your life says a lot.

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Post #: 13

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/1/2016 5:47:21 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
If we stopped playing tomorrow, we would still have a D/s relationship, great love and great friendship.
The fact that you think it's the biggest bummer of your life says a lot.

I am pondering about this. If someone was giving you the best bdsm sex in your life ever! And then stops wanting sex for life some day some where later in that relationship and just choose to continue with non-sexual d/s.

Personally for me, I'd need an open sexual relationship for us to continue as an exclusive couple if he will never ever have sex with me ever again.

Otherwise, friendship will always be there of course. Two different things, and I can always be there for him for non-sexual things, but I can't imagine being deprived of sex for the rest of my life, just because he wakes up one day and decides he never wants to have sex with me again.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/1/2016 5:48:57 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 14

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/1/2016 6:24:38 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I am pondering about this. If someone was giving you the best bdsm sex in your life ever! And then stops wanting sex for life some day some where later in that relationship and just choose to continue with non-sexual d/s.

Personally for me, I'd need an open sexual relationship for us to continue as an exclusive couple if he will never ever have sex with me ever again.

Otherwise, friendship will always be there of course. Two different things, and I can always be there for him for non-sexual things, but I can't imagine being deprived of sex for the rest of my life, just because he wakes up one day and decides he never wants to have sex with me again.

1) He didn't say "sex", he said "play"

2) My need to have someone fulfill the mental aspects of my life, far outweigh the physical needs of my life.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 15

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/2/2016 1:30:20 PM

anotherlosersub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/30/2015
Status: offline

What i meant was that i still need to be controlled and although i still love her it is a bummer that we cannot play anymore. We have a vanilla relationship now.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 16

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/3/2016 8:14:41 AM

anotherlosersub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/30/2015
Status: offline

I am sorry, but I need discipline in my life. It is an intrinsic need that true masochists have. As for being a bummer. How would most feel if their wife said, no more play, sex or affection. Would one not feel that was a big bummer? This is my wife and my life.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 17

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/3/2016 8:16:31 AM

anotherlosersub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/30/2015
Status: offline

Sex, affection, everything!

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 18

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/3/2016 8:42:52 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anotherlosersub
I am sorry, but I need discipline in my life. It is an intrinsic need that true masochists have. As for being a bummer. How would most feel if their wife said, no more play, sex or affection. Would one not feel that was a big bummer? This is my wife and my life.

Going to try to help a bit, OK? One thing I do disagree with is the "true masochists need discipline" thing. There are plenty of masochists who are just in it for the pain and don't crave control as submissives do. Just my take on definitions.

So, are you saying that your wife is saying no more sex at all or just no more kinky sex? (Basically meaning that you'll be doing the vanilla, for lack of a better term sex.) There is kind of a difference. I know that to some folks, the kink is a part of the sex and not having that is a big issue.

I'm also curious as to what you said regarding no affection. To a masochist, you bet, that administering of pain IS a sign of affection. I get that. What I'm asking about are the non kinky signs of affections such as kisses, hugs, hand holding, etc.

If it's an all of the above kind of thing, you might want to consider asking your wife if she will go to marriage counseling with you. Women cease sex, affection, etc when something is WRONG and it's usually something pretty big. While I do know kinky people (long term kinky people) who get to a point in life where they just want to have a vanilla relationship, they still engage in the normal displays of affection the way any other vanilla couple would do. (Hey. It does happen. There are later in life kinksters. Later in life change to vanilla is a thing, too.) I don't know what condition you or she think the relationship is in but you might want to see a professional together.

_____________________________

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Post #: 19

RE: A true submissive ... - 1/3/2016 3:34:23 PM

anotherlosersub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/30/2015
Status: offline

I suspect she is now passed menopause and just does not desire intimacy any more. We have no sex. She just kept putting me off until I quit asking.
We tried counselling with 2 different counselers. I do not blame myself because I have always been there for her and never was abusive or rude to her. I just try to take it as it is.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 20

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