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New for me - 10/22/2015 7:48:32 PM

Gavelinthegrey

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/22/2015
Status: offline

I'm looking to become a good Dom. My wife wants to not be in control in the bedroom. I'm looking for good advise, and a place to start.

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RE: New for me - 10/22/2015 7:54:20 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Talk to her. What kind of things is she interested in, what kind of things are you? Start with the stuff you both are excited by.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Gavelinthegrey)

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RE: New for me - 10/22/2015 8:26:01 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

I hope your time here at Collarchat will bring joy and insight.

I'm a gay male sub, so I don't have much hands-on counsel for you. But here are a tidbits gleaned from reading way too many posts.

-- Put your marriage first. Go slow and listen, listen, listen--especially for what she doesn't say.

-- One of your best sources of counsel is likely to another dom who's been in your situation. So you may want to research BDSM/kink
events in your area. If playing in public is a downer, you can always go as a voyeur. There might also be "munches"--shared meals in regular clothe. Munches, I'm told, can provide a more comfortable path into our quirky community.

-- I've heard great things about "The Loving Dominant" by John Warren.

Hope this helps!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Gavelinthegrey)

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