FieryOpal
Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: boytoy4u628
My question is to all of the Female Dominants out there; What is the best way to approach a Dominant in terms of a first inbox message?
Along with what the other ladies have already stated, I understand you are more concerned with how to approach a Domme. Keeping in mind that you are a switch, approach Dominant women as you would any woman, whether she is Domme, switch, sub, or vanilla--the common denominator here is woman, specifically how a gentleman should treat any lady.
quote:
I am asking because I am new to the community and I would like to know the proper etiquette that is preferred.
I'm not going to pull any punches, because that would do you a disservice. It makes no difference whether you are 21 (which you are) or 55, whether you are contacting a lady in her 20s, 30s, 40s, or older (please just don't contact women old enough to be your mother unless the woman has indicated she is interested in much younger men. That grosses some of us out!)...
1. Put some clothes on. You're a total stranger, and we don't want to see three pictures of your dick. At this point, it doesn't matter what you would write to me, even if you did match up in age and location. Not interested.
2. (a) The caged one is especially offensive to women who are not into chastity practices. Many Dommes are not, and I personally find your caged cock main profile pic to be offensive.  This is also not going to appeal to most switch women.
2. (b) You can forget about a sub woman giving you the time of day. This would turn off even the ones who would bother to possibly consider a [Dom-leaning] switch, unless they're newbies who don't know the difference.
3. As a switch, you already have the odds stacked against you. Male switches are typically not regarded as being "submissive enough" for a Domme to want to own, nor "Dominant enough" to become a submissive woman's Master.
4. Read through the entire profile and most if not all of her journal entries. Some women, like myself, have a key word or key phrase that must be contained in any contact message to show that you took the time to learn something about us as an individual.
quote:
If possible, could you share examples of bad/good first messages that people have sent you?
That's a lot of ground to cover, so I'll focus on the DO-NOTs.
- DO NOT attach a socially inappropriate photo to your message. We didn't ask you for one, did we? Refer to Item 1 above, as pertaining to your choice of profile photos because that's the first impression you make. This is what I always say: A person only gets ONE chance to make a favorable FIRST impression.
- DO NOT exhibit standard male laziness/ineptitude by writing 1-word messages: Hi, Hello, Holla
- DO NOT exhibit standard male laziness/ineptitude by writing 2-3 word messages: Good day, Good evening, Hi there, Nice pics, How are you? May I speak?
- DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES bulk mail out generic intro messages that show you are too lazy and inconsiderate to take the time to personalize your message.
- Expect these kinds of messages to get Deleted Unread, and to find yourself getting Blocked. Nothing personal; you get what you (don't) give.
_____________________________
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau
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