quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

While I don't think it's self centered...

Is like two hours really normal for folks?

My guy can maybe hit two hours a few times a year.

But I really wouldn't say we were having sex for two hours- we play and then bang.

Like on average we are probably like maybe forty five minutes.

Two hours? Like of just sex? Or like is that all the things?

Am I weird in this? We get tired (though, we could both be in better shape)? And my back starts to hurt, and other things start to get sore. I'm mostly just impressed.

Shifty, it was actually your comment that made me want to answer the thread. I hope I'll say this in a way that will make sense.

I categorize sex differently than most people. By my definitions, there is vanilla sex and there is kink sex. Vanilla sex is devoid of any power structure, kinky play, and stuff like that. However, it isn't stuff like always missionary, with the lights off, no oral, etc, etc, etc. To me, vanilla sex is still pretty amazing stuff. Of course, my partner for vanilla sex is MP.

Kink sex is the stuff that is present that wouldn't be under vanilla sex. That's the kink, power exchange, S/m, bondage, and has to include the actual, physical sex. Just flogging somebody while I have all of my clothes on isn't sex to me. While some scenes can be sexual, they aren't actual sex unless there is sexual contact. Frankly, I determine if something is sexual based on me. If I go and beat somebody and they find it sexual and fap themselves silly afterwards, I couldn't care less. Their interpretation and mine are two different things.

I'm not currently engaging in kinky sex with any of my play partners at this time, so I have to go back to the one that I was, which was tk. (Not that I mind this much. He really was the best submissive I've ever had in bed.) If you asked me how long the sex was with him, I'd include all of the kinky play because once we had a sexual relationship, all of our kinky play was pretty much foreplay. I was having a sexual response pretty much from the time I put the collar and cuffs on him, so I count all of it. The average set up went something like this:

Usually, about 9:00 PM, we'd head downstairs. We'd do thirty minutes or so in relaxation chit chat. Just how is life in general stuff. (I don't count that part.) Usually some kisses, warm embraces, that kind of thing.

Somewhere around 9:30 - 9:45, I'd move forward. Depending on the kink activity that I wanted to do, we'd prepare for that. It could be straight impact play, could be wax, needles, electrical, sensory dep... Whatever I had a taste for. That would go until at least midnight, with cuddling and certain bits of after care running until roughly 1:00 AM.

Sometimes, the physical sex would happen immediately afterwards. Others, I'd put the boy through so much that we'd take time to recharge the batteries. Usually, that meant some form of protein snack. (He'd bring nuts, trail mix, or whatever he thought he'd have a taste for with him.) We'd have a drink or two. Process the endorphins and do immediate post play recap.

That was kind of our 'break'. The endorphins would still be going when we'd go to bed somewhere around 1:30 or 2:00. The actual physical sex would last anywhere between an hour or two. Somewhere around 3:00 or 4:00, he'd fall asleep.

The next day, I'd be up hours before him and then come back to bed. We'd do late brunch of proteins and orange juice, work in the kitchen together for dinner plans, talk about ideas for the next play thoughts, do dishes, hold hands, kiss for hours... Sometimes, a quickie in the afternoon to relive tension.

Have dinner and social time with MP. Next night at 9:00 PM, we'd be right back at it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I thought this was actually a pretty decent topic.

It's often interesting to hear what are buzz kills for different kind of men and women, and anything peculiar?

I've already heard from 2 men that I would buzz kill them in sex, by falling asleep on them, and talking about random shit, like what colour to paint the ceiling during sex lol! OMG! I would have killed some men's erection on here!

But hey! We are all different! Other men love my nonsense in bed. I seldom meet a man who gets upset with me for falling asleep on them, they usually continue, as they had my permission to continue, I usually tell them, nothing I love more than to be fucked awake when I am sleeping. Or I am pretty much fighting sleep to stay awake to enjoy their attentions, but I'm totally enjoying it! I guess prompting them in advance about how I feel about being fucked to sleep or fucked while I am sleeping, does make a difference as it sets their expectations if they agree to go ahead.

So ladies and gentlemen, do share your buzz kills.

For myself, I think if the man ever utters a different woman's name, it would be a buzz kill. I would probably get up and leave immediately.

And I was sharing that I have met many men who cannot maintain an erection without french kissing. I hate french kissing, and try to avoid doing it. So in doing that, I discover alot of men can't get hard without it.