emotional eating (Full Version)

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Greta75 -> emotional eating (11/29/2015 10:44:58 PM)

One of my biggest struggle in life is emotional eating.

I googled alot of solutions, been to therapy with multiple counselors, and there seem to be no fix for my problem. There was a counselor that I stuck with for 4 years, and it was just unresolved.

My biggest unresolved emotional problem is the emptiness I feel being born to parents who didn't want me and continously displaying behaviour towards me of disdain and like it's my fault I was born to them, somehow, although rationally I obviously have no control if they freaking chose not to use proper protection, but it's somehow still my fault, I should have prevented my own birth, not their fault apparently. And although I clearly recognize that I constantly eat to fill in this void and frustration, but recognising why I am eating, doesn't help one bit in stopping me from eating.

Also, emotional eating doesn't seem to work like, oh, why don't I just eat lettuce all day then. Because I sometimes go on a all raw fruit and raw vegetable diet, healthy stuffs, and I do not feel full no matter how much of it I eat. And I do eat ALOT non-stop. Like I would eat a whole massive cooking pot of salad and still feel hungry, and it's almost like torture, constantly eating the healthy stuffs and never feeling full.

Like it always has to be evil, cheesy, oily, deep fried, full fat, everything that will kill you, for me to feel satisfied. But if I had it in moderation, again, I feel empty.

I've always been naturally athletic, and the interesting point is, when you google, every solution is exercise. Looking back at my youth, I'd say, 60% of my time was spent in sports. Various different types of sports. I mean, Cycling, Soccer, Basketball, inline skating, Badminton, I have always been very physically active. Now as an adult, I rock climb, run trail marathons, love hiking challenging mountains and I still inline skate. I try to do as much sports as I can to burn away all the calories of my hopeless eating habits.

But it's one big lie that exercise relaxes you, or makes you eat less or anything like that. The more I exercise, the more I need to eat, my emotional eating becomes one big monster.

And my weight keeps creeping up. It's one depressing cycle. I don't think I can exercise enough to burn all the calories I ate. I came back climbing 2 mountains back to back this weekend, part of my hardcore routine. About half of my group who came with me quit after the first mountain, so it was tough. They were all slim and fit people too. I was the biggest in the group. On day 2, I was practically pissing off my hiking guide because I kept over taking him, and I told him we were moving too slow, he needs to quicken the pace. He used the excuse that my friends were lagging behind, but the friends I was with, are very fit, they were just warming up and taking it chill on the flat bits. Later on, they started sprinting up when the real elevation comes, as that's when the real challenge comes. The guide under-estimated them. And I realise, what is the point of me doing all that, even if I am stronger, fitter and with better endurance than them, I am still built like an elephant. I rather be at their fitness level and have their weight.

Anybody ever had emotional eating issues and kinda conquered it? What helped?






dreamlady -> RE: emotional eating (11/29/2015 11:55:45 PM)

This is in no way a professional opinion. What I'm wondering is whether you can effectively reduce stress in your life.

Stress often compounds other issues. Stressors can trigger PTSD, stress creates higher levels of cortisol in your system, and that cortisol can get centralized around fatty tissues around the belly area like a spare tire.

Stressed-out individuals fall into erratic eating and sleeping patterns that work against your body's natural rhythmic cycles, including your menstrual cycle.

This can also work both ways. If your genetic disposition were different, you could find yourself unable to gain weight if that were your goal, especially if you are the type of person who is predisposed to having a lot of nervous energy. (Think skinny dude who can't gain any weight no matter how much caloric intake he has.)

The problem is, your stressing about this very situation is getting in your way by contributing towards whatever self-defeating cycle you feel you are caught up in.

I would start by consciously cutting out whatever built-in stress situations you can, staying away from negative, emotionally toxic people to the extent possible, and then working on purging yourself of your own toxic emotions. We all have them, and we all run into brick walls from time to time.

If you haven't already done so, I would sign up for a meditation class. If nothing else, it might help put your mind at ease and reduce your anxiety levels (which couldn't hurt).

DreamLady



Cell -> RE: emotional eating (11/30/2015 12:18:07 AM)

I think we have similar body types. It's a kind of mixed blessing I suppose. Being able to hike all day and night or workout everyday and recover quickly, but every moment you aren't doing that, everything you eat just goes straight to fat.

I also have friends that are thinner and don't seem to put on weight much but I run rings around them in endurance and recovery time. I just thought I'd let you know your not alone lol. I don't have any answers besides what I think you already know. Exercise everysecond of every day, or watch your belly grow! =P




Greta75 -> RE: emotional eating (11/30/2015 12:21:24 AM)

quote:

Being able to hike all day and night or workout everyday and recover quickly, but every moment you aren't doing that, everything you eat just goes straight to fat.

Yea, I have been overweight since a baby. I look at my baby picture and I was an obese baby for sure.

But somehow, athletically, I have always had the speed and power and endurance. It was always easy for me. I seem to require less training than women half my size around here to be better.

But if I keep exercising, I have a slow weight gain, but it still keeps gaining. IF I don't exercise, I fear what will happen. I actually haven't really not exercise for a long period of time yet. But I am usually always doing something, as I feel really disgusting and yucky if I don't do something that thoroughly exhaust me and make my heart jump out of my chest.



Greta75 -> RE: emotional eating (11/30/2015 12:27:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Stressed-out individuals fall into erratic eating and sleeping patterns that work against your body's natural rhythmic cycles, including your menstrual cycle.

My stress levels are definitely high. My periods are super irregular. Sometimes it doesn't come for 2 months. And it never comes on time. Always too early or too late. It's all over the place. I am using tracking app for my period and it never comes on predicted time.

I think it's pretty hard to eliminate stress levels as alot of things that are stressing me out is beyond my control. I gotta live with it.

Meditation was recommended to me, but I find myself always very hyper and can't sit still. Even yoga class stresses me out because it's too slow. I always like fast paced activities. So I don't know how will I survive meditation. Even with yoga, you are suppose to focus on your breathing and I can't stay focus. Hiking mountains and skating are actually the closest I come to not thinking. As I am focus on not tripping over or falling down, just watching the terrain closely and where to put my feet. I use skating like transportation, so any terrain goes, lots of things to look out for.



angelikaJ -> RE: emotional eating (11/30/2015 10:03:59 AM)

Is it emotional eating or is it binge eating?
There is a difference.

http://www.bingeeatingdisorder.com/what-is-BED.aspx.



Greta75 -> RE: emotional eating (11/30/2015 4:59:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Is it emotional eating or is it binge eating?
There is a difference.



Thanks for the website, had a look at it.

It sounds like binge eating is one of symptoms of emotional eating.

For me, I definitely always feel like my hunger is psychologically. I can always feel my stomach says it's full, but emotionally, I don't feel full enough, so I stuff myself with more food to feel stuffed and bloated, which comforts my emotional emptiness. I know if I didn't keep up with the corresponding amount of exercise, I would have expanded to something seriously bad. And they often say, try exercise to tackle this emotional emptiness as replacement, but somehow, exercise makes me want to comfort myself with more food later. It is hard work. My hiking friends have often mentioned to me that I need to stop eating so much, I done all the hard work but now I am completely wasting the work, by putting even more in. I'm at loss at how to stop eating, despite being able to capture myself in action, and rationalise it to being irrational. But it's like my addiction. Eating is my addiction. And I actually don't snack in between meals at all. It's just meal time comes, and the amounts I feel I need is definitely twice more than someone like me should be eating.

I think it's also some psychological problem caused by my mom. Because she'd always force me to finish everything, including what other people could not finish on the table in communal meals. And then later fat shamed the fuck out of me, telling me how disgusting fat I was, and then starve me for a week. Tell me no physical food for a week, and just fed me with lemon water and pills, fibre pills and vitamin pills. And then again tell me how disgusting fat I was to her. I was like maybe between 8 to 12 yrs old at this time. And I think recently, I am seriously stressing about this as I met my mom during my brother's graduation recently, and she said the words that triggered shit, "How come after running several marathons, you are still sooo fat?" And she looked up and down at me in absolute disgust. As an adult I shouldn't be affected, but I was terribly affected and cannot control how it affected me.

I just got alot of eating disorders from her treatment. I think since a kid, I was so sports driven to try to get skinnier constantly, I just became better athletically without losing a single weight. But just kept putting it on in a slow manner. Which is a life long frustration. Of course, I know the problem is food intake and types of food.



angelikaJ -> RE: emotional eating (11/30/2015 5:15:17 PM)

Maybe this could be helpful?
https://www.oa.org/newcomers/is-oa-for-you/



indianriver -> RE: emotional eating (12/1/2015 7:38:04 AM)

In my opinion you seem to want to name it " emotional eating" but it is not. Or at least not the only unsatiated desire you have. A couple weeks ago you mentioned a more strange habit of yours regarding your ability of having sex for hours. I think the two conditions correlate and emerge from same ground.
Not to mention besting a whole team including the mentor in mountain climbing, a third symptom. It seems to me, but very unlikely inertia.



shiftyw -> RE: emotional eating (12/1/2015 2:12:23 PM)

Greta- I was just coming here to log off for a time- and check on my messages etc. but I saw this in the feed and had to respond.
However- if you want to message me- I might not be on here for a while- so i'm on Fet under the same name.

I feel the same way. I've always had weight problems, but I got a real handle on it in high school and dropped a ton of weight and excercised, etc. Then in college- with the event that caused the PTSD/Depression- I simply lost control. I was admittedly- busy worrying about other shit- and eating just was one of the only ways I found to deal with it- which is unhealthy and stupid- but I can't go back now- so it is what it is.

"Fullness" just isn't something that happens to me. And frankly- losing weight is scary to me. It will get attention- and I honestly spend most of my real life trying to avoid a lot of attention.

Mine is ABSOLUTELY related to PTSD. Stress triggers it. My adrenals are just...for lack of a better word...fucked. My thyroid also joins the party. That all coupled with my already pretty disordered eating- results in slow weight loss and weight gain. I'm also exhausted- just all the time. The best thing I can say to do is just track everything.

Today- I have tracked all my food.
I had a grapefruit for breakfast- it took me a long time to eat- which is key for me also- because if I eat it slowly over an hour- I'm busy doing it- I'm not thinking about the next thing I'm going to put in my mouth. Etc.
Then I had spaghetti squash with a bit of pesto for lunch, a yogurt, and a piece of whole grain bread
For dinner I'm having pork tenderloin with a side salad.

Like- and thats great- cause I feel really in control today.

I know exactly what I'm supposed to eat- and no matter how goddamn empty I feel- I know I can live on the calories I'm eating. So I just ignore it. Or guzzle water and pee every twenty minutes. This is the hardest part for me- ignoring it. Right now- I don't have any question that I could eat a whole pizza, and probably still have room for more. I NEVER feel satiated. I also have to admit- often when I feel "empty" I have to consciously make an effort to tell if my stomach is empty or if its an emotional emptiness/depression. Thats when I can look at what I tracked and say "Ok- I'm good with food, so what IS bothering me?"

It is hard as hell. Really. Don't let anyone down play how hard it is to you.

I'm sure they'll be 900 suggestions to try this diet or that diet on this thread. Do what feels right to you. If thats paleo, great. If it isn't- great. Nothing is going to work if you're piling on the misery.

Eating is a truly rough experience for me for me right now. I feel really conflicted all the time. I love to bake, and I'm very skilled- but it makes me feel guilty and shitty. I love food and flavors- and I'm a great cook- and I'm proud of that about myself- but there is significant shame that comes along with it for me. Because I could eat A LOT- and try things- A LOT. I work IN a restaurant- and I love being there, I believe in our product and think its high quality- and there's worse I could eat. Its the AMOUNT I could eat that scares me and makes me feel ashamed. I can look at something and probably guess relatively accurately how many calories are in it. It totally ruins the experience of eating- because instead of enjoying it, which would probably help reduce stress, and make me feel more full- I'm fucking worried about how fat my ass is going to get. Worry is just stress. Which will just make me fatter. So its a cycle that sucks. Any really restrictive diets for me- trigger this cycle really badly. I'm sure some people feel enlightened eating Keto or Paleo. I feel like a piece of worthless garbage. I'll never "thrive" if I feel like garbage and like someone who can't stop obsessing over everything. I never feel proud of myself on Paleo. And frankly- while my self esteem has gotten better in recent years- being fucking good at baking/cooking/working in the restaurant industry- is a source of pride for me I'm just unwilling to let go of at this point. Which I realize is a problem- but I'm working on it- I just never think a restrictive diet is going be "good" for me, mentally.

For me tracking tends to become obsessive- after I was diagnosed with PTSD- they said I have some OCD as well. I check things- like my shower, door locks, etc. before bed. I check my car several times to make sure its in park before I get out. I get obsessed with thoughts of how to avoid a murderer or a rapists or what I would do if it happened again and stay up all night planning and thinking about it. And I get OBSESSED with tracking my food. I always start just using weight watchers, then I add my fitness pal, then I track it on paper, then I post it to daily menu threads- etc. So then I have to stop for a while- take a break and let my mind recover. Because this shit is stressful.

Being forgiving of yourself- is also really hard. Only you can say "ok so I ate half a cake today- but tomorrow will be better" rather than "ok I ate half a cake today- I may as well just spiral for the rest of the week because I ruined everything"
I think its important to identify slip ups and know that they are going to happen. Its important to figure out where some of the control issues lay in yourself.

I have to say- when I am "good" and using my meditation/yoga/hypnosis tapes and what have you- I'm in way more control.
I also find planning my meals the day before- and tracking them the day before- makes me feel more in control and not as obsessive. Because I know its going to be there tomorrow.

Keeping control over yourself is hard fucking work. And I have anything but mastered it.

Be nice to yourself and learn to recognize when you're in control. Recognize triggers before you eat. Know you'll make mistakes and try your best to not let them spiral.

Reading this to myself makes me feel like a liar and hack because I can barely follow this stuff myself. I go whole months just floundering and yo-yoing. I just have to keep thinking about it as a slow change and process and accept that I have to go through it.
I hope you figure out what works for you and what you need. I really wish you all the best of luck with this. <3



Greta75 -> RE: emotional eating (12/1/2015 10:42:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: indianriver

In my opinion you seem to want to name it " emotional eating" but it is not. Or at least not the only unsatiated desire you have. A couple weeks ago you mentioned a more strange habit of yours regarding your ability of having sex for hours. I think the two conditions correlate and emerge from same ground.
Not to mention besting a whole team including the mentor in mountain climbing, a third symptom. It seems to me, but very unlikely inertia.

Yea, excessive eating, excessive exercise, excessive sexual drive. I guess it's all to fill a void that cannot be filled.

They say exercise is suppose to be the cure for both excessive sexual drive and excessive eating. But excessive exercise increases my sex drive and my eating like crazy. I can run a full marathon and right after, I'm ready for a sexual marathon.

With the exercise, I don't feel satisfied, unless I am killing myself. Otherwise, I will feel empty, so I always push myself to the maximum. It's either exercise to dying exhaustion where I physically cannot move anymore. I mean, the crazy thing about endurance is, if your mind keeps going, your body will keep going. It can keep going magically, regardless how much physical pain you are in. Endurance sports has always been 90% mental and 10% actual fitness to me.

There was one time I was completely mad. Skated 30km, then sex till morning, barely enough sleep, hiked half marathon, and skated another 45km on the same day, then sex till morning again, and then turn up for another 10km hike in the morning and then back to sex all day till next morning again. And I felt so alive. It was like, if I lose energy for sex, I go fuel it up with my exercise. It could go on and on and on, and I was totally skipping sleep. Although I did talk about nodding on and off during sexual play, yea it happens.

Don't know the solution. When I went for therapy, they say pills aren't magic pills when I complain it's not working. I still need to exercise some self-control like end of the day. I have to control it.

But the sex and exercise doesn't bother me. I think those are healthy problems. Sex is a good work out. Exercise is a great work out. Keeps me healthy and fit. Excessive eating is unhealthy, that is the only problem I want out of my life.



Greta75 -> RE: emotional eating (12/1/2015 10:51:16 PM)

Thanks shifty.

It is just a constant struggle I guess, hope both of us will defeat it totally some day.



Greta75 -> RE: emotional eating (12/1/2015 11:12:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Maybe this could be helpful?
https://www.oa.org/newcomers/is-oa-for-you/

Thanks! I didn't know such thing exist. Will have a look.



DesFIP -> RE: emotional eating (12/2/2015 7:34:07 AM)

Make a list of nonfood comforts and plan to do them. Feed your emotional needs in other ways.

So if you need to be told you are of value, put affirmations around the house.

And we need about three pounds of food daily to feel full. Make sure most of that is low calorie, snack on carrots, cucumbers, raw bulk that fills you up without adding calories. Plan meals and snacks out. Make sure to portion them out and carry with you.



indianriver -> RE: emotional eating (12/2/2015 8:42:06 AM)

Greta, with regard to human body abilities and limits, and on any measurement standard, the extent you push your body to is extremely beyond the limits. Even for a professional athlete, what you do shout set the bological defense mechanism alarm off. It is really to my surprise your shut off system is not working. Like a temperature gauge reading low when it is actually burning hot.



EdgeQueen -> RE: emotional eating (12/2/2015 9:18:04 AM)

I wouldn't say I do it to the same extent as you, but I certainly eat when I'm not hungry, usually because it's either better than sitting with my thoughts, or I'm bored and I just really love the *taste* of food more than anything else in this world. I also use the bit of extra weight I carry as a shield to "protect" me from the rest of the world. People are overall less threatened, jealous and sexually attracted to a woman 20-30 lbs overweight, with short hair, who never wears make-up and the introvert in me likes the lack of attention. There are of course deep underlying reasons for all these things, though I'm not going to list them all here. Probably the 2 books that have helped me the most are "Fat is a Feminist Issue" by Susie Orbach and "Diet Recovery" by Matt Stone (this one is a free kindle book on amazon, he has other books, but this one I keep coming back to over and over). The first has helped me to identify what's going on in my head and it's been much easier to understand what's going on with me and why I have the habits I do. The second talks about the damages we do to our metabolisms through over-exercising, over eating/under eating, restrictive diets and consuming too many fluids. I've also found the practice of mindfulness to be very helpful, though it's a difficult road to walk for me as I'm quite self critical with a mind that never really shuts up. But slowly (oh god, so slowly) things are changing and getting better.

Edit to add: I'm going to add Scott Abel's "Beyond Metabolism" book, as it's an excellent read.



LadyConstanze -> RE: emotional eating (12/2/2015 9:25:03 AM)

Maybe it would help if you try to keep a diary and notice especially what triggers those binges, you know do it for a while and then analyse it, find what's common about it and then try and avoid anything that triggers it, obviously not all at once, but one after the other...

I used to bounce between eating when I was depressed and not being able to eat anything, to the point where food literally made me sick and I was starving myself because only if I decided how much I ate it felt like I was remotely in control, while all the time thinking I am this obese monster and people are just humouring me when they tell me I'm not...

What I learned was to avoid some situations, to react when my thoughts were going into a certain direction...



FelineRanger -> RE: emotional eating (12/2/2015 10:22:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

Yea, excessive eating, excessive exercise, excessive sexual drive. I guess it's all to fill a void that cannot be filled.



Whether or not you realized it, you just diagnosed the problem right here. The deeper question that you have to answer is why that void exists.



DesFIP -> RE: emotional eating (12/2/2015 2:59:24 PM)

And it is never wrong to get professional help when you can't solve a problem yourself. You would use a lawyer to handle a real estate transaction because they'll do it quickly and correctly. At the same time, too many people refuse to see therapists who can guide you through problems like this. You've struggled with it for years without success, isn't it time to get help?



LadyConstanze -> RE: emotional eating (12/2/2015 5:07:54 PM)

i do think she has professional help

Though just read through her post again, for her sports and eating are outlets, compulsive, I might be off target here but maybe it's worth to look at it



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