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A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 9:02:13 AM   
MikeRaven


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/19/2015
Status: offline 		I know that a good relationship consists of authentically enjoying each other's company and each other's personality. But for most relationships that's not the main thrust. It seems to me that in most relationships one party provides some sort of product or service.

For example, a friend of mine was looking for a woman that would be a good mother, Catholic, good cook and good in bed. He found someone and married her. But if you took away the "good mother" "Catholic" and "good in bed" properties the relationship would go "poof."

Another friend of mine was looking for financial security and this person found it. If you took away the "financial security" the relationship would go "poof."

Another friend went to the Philippines and married someone and most people there marry for the green card.

But this doesn't mean they don't love each other.

I'm currently involved in a "girlfriend experience" with a woman. She is young and beautiful. I pay her $100 and she spends the night with me. French kissing, cuddling, sex, etc. I then pay her $20 to go out to eat, or go to the park, or amusement park. We have feelings toward each other.

People tell me she is a whore and I'm her "John." Stop paying her and you will see how much she loves you.

But don't you think that's true of any relationship? If you take away the "produce and service" one is providing the relationship goes "poof."
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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 9:12:10 AM   
LadyXandreia


Posts: 44
Joined: 6/17/2009
Status: offline 		I'd agree that yes, in general, people have to get something out of a relationship or they leave. Even if they're getting something that most sane people wouldn't want. ;) But say someone is married to someone who falls into a coma and never wakes up. Would you say that relationship has gone poof or not, provided they stay married? Would your answer change depending on if the still-active partner remains sexually faithful?

I'd also say don't worry about what other people call your relationship. You're consenting adults, after all.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 9:49:59 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
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From: United States
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This again? Every post is about you paying this owman.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven


People tell me she is a whore and I'm her "John."

She is and you are.

quote:

Stop paying her and you will see how much she loves you.
I'm positive this is true.

quote:

But don't you think that's true of any relationship? If you take away the "produce and service" one is providing the relationship goes "poof."
You're equating a business relationship with an emotional relationship.

When I had cancer, was home sick throwing up on the bathroom floor, missing work, holding massive medical bills and had no sex life - our relationship didn't go "poof". Instead, he held me, told the bill collectors to fuck off, did his best to keep house and understood when I kept him up all night because I was sick.

The reality is that you have a business relationship. If you're happy with your arrangement, then go for it. Just be realistic about what it is and don't expect her to be there through thick and thin.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 12/9/2015 9:54:45 AM >

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 10:09:33 AM   
freedomdwarf1


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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 10:17:33 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I fell off a roof a couple of weeks ago. I'll be in a wheelchair for months.

He's helping me to the bathroom, bathing me. In the beginning he was dealing with a bedpan, wiping my ass, etc.
There's not much sex with me in pain, unable to have any pressure on my pelvis. Hopefully I'll be up to giving him some oral sex before long assuming we can find a position that works. But if not, he's still not going to abandon me.

Stupid people marry for the shallow reasons you've listed. None of which guarantees that you're still going to like each other enough to continue. You could be a divorced parent. Your spouse could leave the moment her green card goes through. Your wealthy wife could afford a better divorce lawyer and accountant to shelter her assets.

You need to be authentically on the same page when it comes to ethics and morals. You need to really like and value the other person as one of your closest friends. You need to have active listening skills, fair fighting skills and a sincere appreciation for the other person's talents. That's how you get a relationship to last 10, 20, 30 or more years.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 11:00:13 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		DesFIP good answer :) and pretty much what OsideGirl said.
Relationships come in many formats – the full spectrum is a better word; Money, cash, security, cooking, dependence abandonment, convenience, boredom, loneliness, fantastic orbs, love etc

What type of feelings you have for each other I could not possibly say definitively.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 11:58:04 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

But for most relationships that's not the main thrust. It seems to me that in most relationships one party provides some sort of product or service.


Opinion + personal experience =/= fact.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

I'm currently involved in a "girlfriend experience" with a woman. She is young and beautiful. I pay her $100 and she spends the night with me. French kissing, cuddling, sex, etc. I then pay her $20 to go out to eat, or go to the park, or amusement park. We have feelings toward each other.


Dang, I could be making bank for all of the cuddling I'm forced to do at night.

Honestly, yes, if you define "girlfriend" as someone who spends time with you, with or without pay, then sure, you're getting "the experience".

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

People tell me she is a whore and I'm her "John." Stop paying her and you will see how much she loves you.


Yup. It's very easy. Let her know that funds are tight, and it's either keeping the lights on or being with her. You'll have your answer very quickly.


quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven
But don't you think that's true of any relationship? If you take away the "produce and service" one is providing the relationship goes "poof."


Nope. Don't fall into the trap of trying to reconcile your own "relationship" by comparing it to others. It is what it is.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 12:28:05 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		You keep posting threads trying to elicit agreement that paying cash for the sexual attentions of women is no different than any other "relationship". But she's a hooker and you're a client. Nothing wrong with that. If you are this touchy about hooker/client sex, why don't you spend some time instead figuring out why women will only be with you for pay, and work on changing whatever that is?

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 12:30:24 PM   
cindyluvNY


Posts: 26
Joined: 9/29/2015
Status: offline 		I didn't know a prostitute can develop authentic feelings for her clients. Does she have authentic feelings with the rest of her clients, or are you special somehow?
Are you sure you aren't being fooled by her? A lot of business people (not just prostitutes) are quite savvy and they know exactly what to say and how to say it. Anything for the money.

By the way, my comment is directed toward the OP, but in my comment section it says, (in reply to littleladybug). I don't know why it's there.

< Message edited by cindyluvNY -- 12/9/2015 12:33:50 PM >

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 12:34:27 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I bet she has authentic feelings for his cash :-)

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 1:07:10 PM   
MissKatya


Posts: 341
Joined: 12/21/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:


I'm currently involved in a "girlfriend experience" with a woman. She is young and beautiful. I pay her $100 and she spends the night with me. French kissing, cuddling, sex, etc. I then pay her $20 to go out to eat, or go to the park, or amusement park. We have feelings toward each other.

People tell me she is a whore and I'm her "John." Stop paying her and you will see how much she loves you.

But don't you think that's true of any relationship? If you take away the "produce and service" one is providing the relationship goes "poof."


"girlfriend experience" or GFE is a term used by escorts as a service. Basically it means that he's paying for the escort to play girlfriend for the set amount of time he paid for. So his little "omg she really likes me and we have feelings for each other" is just a ruse to get everyone to negatively comment and give him some wank fodder. He is well aware of his situation, if there is one.

I am willing to bet that he is in a long term vanilla relationship and comes here to fulfill his humiliation fantasy by posting here. I'm pretty sure he's not seeing escorts either.

Just a hunch.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 1:21:18 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Mike, not buying this one, its a pattern, you have had some good advice...take it, or dont, we aren't here to celebrate your humiliation ..
The only person you are fooling is yourself...stop the money see what happens.
Or keep paying for what you think you enjoy...no skin off my nose.
What you do with your money is your business, no one elses, the same as in the bedroom, if you consent and she consents, have a ball. But to ask the same questions about a "chick and your money", surely it's been asked now in four variations? The only person you need to talk to is yourself.




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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 1:35:16 PM   
MikeRaven


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/19/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cindyluvNY

I didn't know a prostitute can develop authentic feelings for her clients. Does she have authentic feelings with the rest of her clients, or are you special somehow?
Are you sure you aren't being fooled by her? A lot of business people (not just prostitutes) are quite savvy and they know exactly what to say and how to say it. Anything for the money.

By the way, my comment is directed toward the OP, but in my comment section it says, (in reply to littleladybug). I don't know why it's there.


First of all, she is not a prostitute. I met her on this site and I offered her money and she accepted. We met at Starbucks to see if we clicked. In my opinion she is a "10." As I got to know her, she said she was a stripper in Las Vegas. To get away from the wild life she moved to where I'm at and now works full-time as a waitress. She said she has never done this before in her whole life. The reason she is taking my offer is because finances are hard right now.

So there is "no other clients." Just me. I'm not being fooled by her because prostitutes do not french kiss their clients and spend the night just for $100.00.

It's an authentic relationship and she has authentic feelings for me as well as I do for her. My argument isn't this like any other relationship based such as those people who are in it for benefits?

People keep saying, "Oh, you've posted similar questions." So what? People post all sorts of questions and a lot of time it's the same variation.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 2:06:51 PM   
Dvr22999874


Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline 		Good luck to you both Mike......................this isn't costing you much and you are both enjoying the experience, one way and another, so just go with it mate.
If she is a prostitute, she doesn't know much about prices, but there again, who cares as long as you are both happy with what you have got.?
Yes, a prostitute CAN develop feelings for a client. We have a friend who has been married to one of her (now ex) clients for about 5 years now and they seem very happy.
You don't need advice from anybody mate.................just follow what your instincts tell you to do.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 3:11:47 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		What would happen if you began spending that $120.00 on taking her to dinner and a movie?



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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 4:03:28 PM   
Cell


Posts: 409
Status: offline 		OP,
Why do you call it a "girlfriend experience" in quotes?

In regards to the finer points you're making about most relationships having a product/service component... I can understand the points you mention but I don't really like some of the ways you describe it, mainly due to personal peeves of mine regarding the trend of speaking in terms of "branding" when referring to pretty much anything, including individual people! like they are some component in a marketplace. That aside, some convincing arguments can probably be made in favour of your views but when it comes down to it, I think you're always going to find resistance to the idea simply because you're paying money for this. You have to understand, this place has seen a lot of money making shit masquerading as everything under the sun, and in the end the only real way to make sense of it all, is to just ask "Does this eventually come back to money in some way?" The window dressing might change but the profit component is the giveaway. Especially if it's in the form of something as blatant as cash.

Having said that, so what if people have trouble getting past the money thing... you don't mind it right, and you're fucking a "10" =)
Giddy up cowboy!

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 4:04:54 PM   
MikeRaven


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/19/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

What would happen if you began spending that $120.00 on taking her to dinner and a movie?




I've gone on one too many dates where I do spend that kind of money. Many women have the attitude, "I'm a quality woman and if a man is interested in me he will take me to a quality restaurant." And rightly so! So they ask me to take them to this expensive restaurant. They always order alcoholic beverages, appetizers and desert. I always tip 20%. So the bill is close to $100. Then if we go to a movie it's another $50.00. And the whole time she talks my right ear off telling me all the drama in her life.

So with my girlfriend, we skip all that, I donate $100 and she doesn't talk my right ear off. She has active listening skills, which seems to be rare these days, we cuddle, hug, kiss, etc.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 4:07:32 PM   
MikeRaven


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/19/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

OP,
Why do you call it a "girlfriend experience" in quotes?

In regards to the finer points you're making about most relationships having a product/service component... I can understand the points you mention but I don't really like some of the ways you describe it, mainly due to personal peeves of mine regarding the trend of speaking in terms of "branding" when referring to pretty much anything, including individual people! like they are some component in a marketplace. That aside, some convincing arguments can probably be made in favour of your views but when it comes down to it, I think you're always going to find resistance to the idea simply because you're paying money for this. You have to understand, this place has seen a lot of money making shit masquerading as everything under the sun, and in the end the only real way to make sense of it all, is to just ask "Does this eventually come back to money in some way?" The window dressing might change but the profit component is the giveaway. Especially if it's in the form of something as blatant as cash.

Having said that, so what if people have trouble getting past the money thing... you don't mind it right, and you're fucking a "10" =)
Giddy up cowboy!


I had no intention of implying that men always pay. There are plenty of women who are used as a sugarmomma. There are plenty of men who are opportunist and users. Probably more so than women.

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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 4:12:03 PM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline 		If it's working for you, what's up with the need for validation from an anonymous internet forum?


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RE: A Question About Relationships - 12/9/2015 4:12:05 PM   
Cell


Posts: 409
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cell

OP,
Why do you call it a "girlfriend experience" in quotes?

In regards to the finer points you're making about most relationships having a product/service component... I can understand the points you mention but I don't really like some of the ways you describe it, mainly due to personal peeves of mine regarding the trend of speaking in terms of "branding" when referring to pretty much anything, including individual people! like they are some component in a marketplace. That aside, some convincing arguments can probably be made in favour of your views but when it comes down to it, I think you're always going to find resistance to the idea simply because you're paying money for this. You have to understand, this place has seen a lot of money making shit masquerading as everything under the sun, and in the end the only real way to make sense of it all, is to just ask "Does this eventually come back to money in some way?" The window dressing might change but the profit component is the giveaway. Especially if it's in the form of something as blatant as cash.

Having said that, so what if people have trouble getting past the money thing... you don't mind it right, and you're fucking a "10" =)
Giddy up cowboy!


I had no intention of implying that men always pay. There are plenty of women who are used as a sugarmomma. There are plenty of men who are opportunist and users. Probably more so than women.


Possibly. But what specific part of my post are you replying to?

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