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LadyPact -> RE: I'm lost! (12/11/2015 8:28:01 AM)
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OK, if we're going to talk, let's talk. In saying that, it means that you have to understand that folks are trying to help you. It also means I'm going to break up the wall of text so I can address the various points. (Don't get mad. I do it with everybody.)
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ORIGINAL: Cuckingcurious
I never once said crossdressing is a must for me sure I enjoy it but it doesn't mean I have to have it. I never told anyone to stop reading my profile if they don't like some of my kinks.
That said, you have to be fair about it. Your screen name is directly related to the kink that seems to be your direct focus. When that's not the other person's kink, they are going to pass you over. Also, I noticed that your main pic is a chastity device. That's also something that some women will pass over for. There's another thread going right now where some folks said that's an automatic incompatibility for them (myself included). If my main pic was a needle shot, you would discount me immediately, which is entirely your right to do.
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That's the biggest problem I see here. No one has wondered why my profile states what it does now because I doubt anyone really cares. A domme reads it for what ever reason and stops because she saw something she did not like. She dismisses it like the thousands of other profiles.
Chance are, so do you. When you see things in a profile that you aren't interested in, do you contact that person anyway or do you go to the next that more matches what you are looking for? If you know you are incompatible from jump street, what would be the point of wasting your time? You're not interested in fin dom, right? Do you specifically pursue people with those profiles? No, you don't because you know it's not a good fit for you.
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Sure I could pretend I'm a happy person but the fact is most of us aren't.
Ummm... Who's "most"? If you're not happy, I'm sorry to hear that but let's not paint everybody else with that brush.
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There isn't a perfect way to write a profile. I've seen several dommes that weren't really friendly. Does that mean I did not try to contact them?
I don't know. Did you? If you did contact folks that weren't friendly (and let me assure you that I'm not via email) that might be you wasting your time. However, that's your decision and other people are allowed to make theirs. On this site, let me assure you that women are far outnumbered by men and they aren't going to contact the folks that seem negative to them. If you're expecting folks to try to figure out what's underneath it all ([8|]) I think you might have a long wait ahead of you.
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Besides the whole point of this post was the lack of female dominants that aren't trying to scam me out of money. Once I've weeded out all the findoms and pros I was left with a handful of people that actually still use the site frequently in my area. I've since expanded the search radius and I'm still not coming up with much, please note my interest search is off and I'm searching from ages 27 to 50.
No offense, but if I was honestly looking for someone, I wouldn't be using this joint. Fet is way easier to find people going to munches and events. Everybody I'm playing with now have accounts on Fet and goes to the clubs here in town. (I know you looked. Don't believe the location on my profile.)
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What do I find? Findommes, findomme and more findommes. Some don't even say so on their profile so when I have a lengthy we mail conversation with them and after email 30 or so she suddenly asks for money it really frustrates a guy like me. Here I am thinking wow this is awesome I think I found someone and then boom "donation".
I'm not saying I don't feel for your plight. The fin dom thing is probably one of the biggest complaints about this joint. I also think it's kind of weird that the term donation has now become in vogue. It's not like it's a 501C charity thing.
Point being, if you know you're getting lousy results, why aren't you changing your methods? I'm the kind of person that says when something isn't working, you do something else.
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I try to be as honest as I can about my feelings and yes they are negative, they are frustrated, they are disappointment. Lying to you on my profile would be the same as lying to myself and will get me absolutely no where.
Did I suggest that you lie? I can promise that I didn't. Heck, I put somebody out of my life at one time because he turned into a lying, manipulative fuck. (Hasn't changed since, either.) You won't catch me advising that to anyone.
What you can do is be proactive in trying different things so you aren't frustrated, disappointed, etc. If you're putting all of your eggs into the basket of CM, that may not be the path to success.
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Thank you for all your suggestions I didn't realize there were groups in Houston focused on a younger crowd I may take a few weeks and see its better. Also the last time I was at a munch was when I was 29. I went for a while but it was always the same group mostly. All good people but no one that really stood out as relationship material. And yes I just might use that safeword here soon and trying my best in the vanilla world. Who knows how many times I've unknowingly ate a creampie...
So, you are basing the earlier statement on six years ago? Heck, I've gone back to places/events where I have previously lived and there were all kinds of new people to meet. Ever hear the fable about the wolf and the (so-called) sour grapes?
Let me give you a little hint. Don't lead with your kinks and don't sprinkle them unnecessarily into your posts. People, even here, probably aren't trying to engage in talking with you about how many cream pies you might eat in casual conversation. You wouldn't throw that line in there if you struck up a chat with somebody at the grocery store, so it might not be a great idea on threads.
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