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The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 11:17:22 AM   
booklover13


Posts: 78
Joined: 3/20/2013
Status: offline 		I get quite a few messages, as well as a few friends of mine on here, that predict loneliness for me based on what he has read in my profile. These are totally unsolicited. Just pop up in the inbox from time to time.

No one can answer my question of "um, yeah, so what's your point?". Do men truly believe women are terrified of being alone and will do anything, change anything about themselves, just to be hooked up to a man? I don't pin that accusation on all men. Apparently, a goodly portion of men truly believe women are desperate for companionship.

As for me, yes, companionship would be lovely. However, being alone is not the frightening hell some men believe it to be. I like my own company. Heck, I prefer it over others!

Any thoughts from the wise folks on the forums?

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 12:16:22 PM   
MsBane


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/5/2015
Status: offline 		well some people view companionship like food, in that bad food is still better than being hungry. i view it like a car, in that walking is preferable to a shitty car that won't start or is always breaking down. both views are equally valid, it varies from person to person.

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 12:24:20 PM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: booklover13

I get quite a few messages, as well as a few friends of mine on here, that predict loneliness for me based on what he has read in my profile. These are totally unsolicited. Just pop up in the inbox from time to time.

No one can answer my question of "um, yeah, so what's your point?". Do men truly believe women are terrified of being alone and will do anything, change anything about themselves, just to be hooked up to a man? I don't pin that accusation on all men. Apparently, a goodly portion of men truly believe women are desperate for companionship.

As for me, yes, companionship would be lovely. However, being alone is not the frightening hell some men believe it to be. I like my own company. Heck, I prefer it over others!

Any thoughts from the wise folks on the forums?

I find it puzzling that you leap from "...predict loneliness for me" to "...men truly believe women are terrified of being alone and will do anything" in just a handful of words.

I put that down to your misunderstanding of the messages you receive or you haven't imparted the salient points.


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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 12:44:12 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		My guess is that since men keep asking her that question and she gets those CMails without any prompting from guys (some of them predicting loneliness for her) she does wonder if a lot of men think that women are terrified of being alone.

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 12:44:38 PM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: booklover13

I get quite a few messages, as well as a few friends of mine on here, that predict loneliness for me based on what he has read in my profile. These are totally unsolicited. Just pop up in the inbox from time to time.

No one can answer my question of "um, yeah, so what's your point?". Do men truly believe women are terrified of being alone and will do anything, change anything about themselves, just to be hooked up to a man? I don't pin that accusation on all men. Apparently, a goodly portion of men truly believe women are desperate for companionship.

As for me, yes, companionship would be lovely. However, being alone is not the frightening hell some men believe it to be. I like my own company. Heck, I prefer it over others!

Any thoughts from the wise folks on the forums?

What has this to do with BDSM?

(in reply to booklover13)
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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 12:49:20 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		>50-90% of these men mailing you are already attached; no doubt looking for a bawsack trampling, or to thrash some wench with their toasters. Perhaps their words should not be heeded literary and in no way do these wretched creatures represent someone like me; a master of self trepanning, gather of cats, lover of cake and cheap Chardonnay, and so on. It would be for the best if you hurled that lot into a volcano.

If they, in the main, have zero substance then their words are without meaning, are they not.

As Msbane implies, albeit she overlooked the fact many of these scoundrels are more than likely bestowed with wench, some people like attention and the more the better..attention parasites i call them, they serve no useful purpose, and will feast on all who will let them.

As for lonely, better alone than with someone for the sake of it

Still my favourite clip alone bad friend good

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 1:12:58 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: booklover13
I get quite a few messages, as well as a few friends of mine on here, that predict loneliness for me based on what he has read in my profile. These are totally unsolicited. Just pop up in the inbox from time to time.

No one can answer my question of "um, yeah, so what's your point?". Do men truly believe women are terrified of being alone and will do anything, change anything about themselves, just to be hooked up to a man? I don't pin that accusation on all men. Apparently, a goodly portion of men truly believe women are desperate for companionship.

As for me, yes, companionship would be lovely. However, being alone is not the frightening hell some men believe it to be. I like my own company. Heck, I prefer it over others!

Any thoughts from the wise folks on the forums?

Some men really do believe that there are *some* women that are terrified of being alone. They think that makes them inclined to settle for less of a man than they deserve. I'm sure such woman exist, though I don't have any of my acquaintance.

Some people on the net will throw anything against the wall to see if it will stick. Since males outnumber females by a great ratio here, I think folks try just about anything they think will work. Anything to get a woman to respond to them. They are desperate and lonely, so they think women are desperate and lonely, too. The males think the women will settle, rather than be alone.

Funny thing is, I see more males that are miserable being alone than I do women. Most of the single women I know have very full lives. They have plenty of friends, social contacts, and interests. They tend to fit the 'a relationship would be nice but I don't NEED one' category. I don't consider them alone or lonely.



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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 1:35:19 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		True many men will play on that fear, utilise a variety of tactics. ladypact Most of these wretched beings are apparent. But unfortuantley there are many genuine women who buy into their malarkey. Conversely there are many women who cannot handle being a day, week, month, year alone - I view them with utter contempt, sometimes sadness as they lack the capacity for change, and blame them for the continuation of that cycle (perceived)

I myself do not like being alone, but i will not be with someone for the sake of it - which I was when i was married x 11 years Which was 12 years ago or so.

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 1:38:45 PM   
MsBane


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/5/2015
Status: offline 		I definitely agree its better to be alone than with someone for the sake of it, but why do you have contempt for those who feel differently?

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 2:19:56 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire
True many men will play on that fear, utilise a variety of tactics. ladypact Most of these wretched beings are apparent. But unfortuantley there are many genuine women who buy into their malarkey. Conversely there are many women who cannot handle being a day, week, month, year alone - I view them with utter contempt, sometimes sadness as they lack the capacity for change, and blame them for the continuation of that cycle (perceived)

I myself do not like being alone, but i will not be with someone for the sake of it - which I was when i was married x 11 years Which was 12 years ago or so.

I wouldn't say it's a contempt, in my case. I find those who feel that way different than me, so I guess I don't understand it. That, and 14 years as a military wife, I suppose I'm used to periods of it, so it would seem strange to me for my life to feel empty. I don't identify with it.

Still, after all of the crap that I've seen folks try to use as angles via email over all of these years, I have to think it's a ploy more than anything else. Has very little to do with the person receiving the email.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 2:44:11 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I met men and women who can't be alone, the serial monogamists, never really understood that, it seems that they're afraid to do something themselves and just seem to see themselves as some part of a double pack.

To be honest, the biggest worry about moving in together with H was for both of us if we could hack living in the same house, because we had a long distance relationship for years and yes, it was quite an adjustment, for both of us I think.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 4:08:34 PM   
IronicTautology


Posts: 33
Joined: 8/8/2014
Status: offline 		.

< Message edited by IronicTautology -- 1/1/2016 4:09:20 PM >

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 5:03:17 PM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: booklover13

I get quite a few messages, as well as a few friends of mine on here, that predict loneliness for me based on what he has read in my profile. These are totally unsolicited. Just pop up in the inbox from time to time.

No one can answer my question of "um, yeah, so what's your point?". Do men truly believe women are terrified of being alone and will do anything, change anything about themselves, just to be hooked up to a man? I don't pin that accusation on all men. Apparently, a goodly portion of men truly believe women are desperate for companionship.


I get it or its equivalent a lot on dating sites, kinky and vanilla. Sometimes I feel like the men that do it seem offended by the idea that they aren't wanted, so they have to tell you how you are doing it wrong. While it happens a lot, I look at it as more of a 'loudest voice in the room' kinda thing. Most men don't do it, but the ones that do do it enough and to enough women that it sure as hell seems like most men.

quote:

As for me, yes, companionship would be lovely. However, being alone is not the frightening hell some men believe it to be. I like my own company. Heck, I prefer it over others!


No way in hell could I live with someone right now. Maybe in a few years, but for now I like where I am at, and I like my own company. I know people who don't know how to be alone, and I get it. But its just not me.


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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 5:59:24 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		I have always been the sort of person who rather be alone, than be around people I don't enjoy the company of, or if I don't relate to.

This applies even to platonic friendship.

But I used to think I fear being alone for the rest of my life. But at the same time, I am choosy about company. I think it's more of a fear of never feeling connected to someone in a close manner for the rest of my life. But what I seek is more than just another physical human being by my side, but emotional closeness, meshing of minds.

I realise it's not loneliness I fear, because I have so often chosen to be alone, being very anti-social and rejecting alot of social invitations. If I fear being alone so much, I should be out there socializing always, staying around company. But I don't do it.

I will literally only hang out with someone only if they are gonna do something I was gonna do alone anyway. And it's an on the way thing, since they are looking to do it too.


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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 10:31:16 PM   
booklover13


Posts: 78
Joined: 3/20/2013
Status: offline 		No "salient points". Just simply "I predict loneliness for you." That's the entire message based on what he read in my profile. Odd.

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"Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation."
~Edward R. Murrow

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 10:34:36 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Just simply "I predict loneliness for you."

Some people just have nothing better to do than to randomly PM people and be negative towards them.

(in reply to booklover13)
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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/1/2016 11:35:30 PM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
"Fear" (I've come to dislike this word in a lot of common usages) of being alone is a basic human fear. We all have it (again, I don't like the word "fear" but I'm just going with the OP of the thread). The real issue is to what degree do we allow it to influence - not only our dating/romantic choices but - our lives, in general.

I think the OP makes a good point:

quote:


As for me, yes, companionship would be lovely. However, being alone is not the frightening hell some men believe it to be. I like my own company. Heck, I prefer it over others!


However, that last sentence speaks volumes, as well.

I, too, have no issue with being alone. I got very comfortable with the idea, years ago. I also believe that no matter how we slice it, we're all, very much alone, at the very end; no matter how many loved ones may gather at our bedside.

All of that said, there are people that are immobilized with the fear of being alone. I have one in my family who was so affected that she eschewed what even she espoused as common decency because her new partner was an assbag.

She went from someone who would almost exclusively listen to Frank Sinatra and old standards to an alleged "fan" of shit-kicking music. This person was so afraid of being alone that she became one of the least genuine people I've ever met; a veritable chameleon, willing to give up basic tenets of her being, just to have someone in her life. Not cool.

The sad fact is that I have observed that humans (male and female) on the whole are closer to that end of the spectrum than the other. Haven't we all met the couple who claim to be "master and slave" and after a few short minutes, we can tell that there's a ton of topping from the bottom going on? That's a man that is scared to fucking death of not having that woman in his life (although, I will grant that with males, it's usually more about sex and with females, it's usually more about love).

That "fear" is what gives people power in relationships.



Michael

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/2/2016 9:57:27 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I think they're putting their own fears on you. Actuary stats show that men don't live very long after losing a spouse, but women are likely to live for years.



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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/2/2016 10:11:14 AM   
Baldrick


Posts: 302
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline 		I know women who move from one relationship to another, like I move from one dish to another at the buffet. They fear being alone... I can never understand it... The start anger relationship as the other one dies, so there is complete continuity.

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RE: The Assumption of Women fearing being alone. - 1/2/2016 2:12:12 PM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1


quote:

ORIGINAL: booklover13

I get quite a few messages, as well as a few friends of mine on here, that predict loneliness for me based on what he has read in my profile. These are totally unsolicited. Just pop up in the inbox from time to time.

No one can answer my question of "um, yeah, so what's your point?". Do men truly believe women are terrified of being alone and will do anything, change anything about themselves, just to be hooked up to a man? I don't pin that accusation on all men. Apparently, a goodly portion of men truly believe women are desperate for companionship.

As for me, yes, companionship would be lovely. However, being alone is not the frightening hell some men believe it to be. I like my own company. Heck, I prefer it over others!

Any thoughts from the wise folks on the forums?

I find it puzzling that you leap from "...predict loneliness for me" to "...men truly believe women are terrified of being alone and will do anything" in just a handful of words.

I put that down to your misunderstanding of the messages you receive or you haven't imparted the salient points.


Not unusual to get this type of message or its equivalent, with nothing else to provide a context for it. You get enough of them and you begin to develop your own theories about why they do it.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
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