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public vs. private play - 7/18/2006 9:49:33 PM   
comesoncommand


Posts: 78
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline 		i know in many cities and areas there are many private groups of individuals who hold private play parties.  For those of you who attend those, or are part, how did you go about finding those wonderful networks?

Also,  can someone shed some light on a comparison between public play and play in a private party atmosphere?
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/18/2006 9:55:39 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Some people meet others from online ads and message boards, many meet at munches, some meet at dungeons... It is kinda a small community in many places, so sometimes groups meet by attending each other's events in other small cities. You make a few friends, and then viola! private partying starts!

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(in reply to comesoncommand)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/18/2006 10:01:27 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: comesoncommand
i know in many cities and areas there are many private groups of individuals who hold private play parties.  For those of you who attend those, or are part, how did you go about finding those wonderful networks?

Usually through friends I met in the public groups.  Or occasionally from online interactions.
quote:


Also,  can someone shed some light on a comparison between public play and play in a private party atmosphere?

Usually fewer rules in private (sex/alcohol more likely to be allowed, people allowed to play and roam for free, no dms), usually more intimate quiet space to play, less enya music.  Usually people know eachother more so there's less stress about knowing new people and new dynamics.

There's also sometimes more drama since they aren't on their public behavior and more posturing.

I like private, semi private, and public play- all for different reasons.  I take the good in them all and enjoy them for what they have.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to comesoncommand)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/18/2006 10:02:05 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Warning - Broad Generalization

Public play boils down to the common denominator

Private play because guests are selected by the partygiver tends to be skewed in one direction, for better or worse.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/18/2006 10:10:23 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		LOL at less enya.  That was funny.

(edited because I guess the ampersand gets filtered)

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 7/18/2006 10:11:24 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/19/2006 7:57:55 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Find a local munch group.  For many years we've had a woman out here in San Diego who has had a web page...it has links all over the world.
Just do a search for Caryl's BDSM page.

I personally prefer private parties.  You can do much more.  Generally you are amoung friends.
At public parties you have a lot of voyeurs.  A lot of people doing things that should never be done safety wise because they are trying to show off.  When in reality they are only showing how inexperienced they are.
At private parties more people play, where at public parties you get a lot of standing around. 
There are a great many differences to like one verses the other.  You'd just have to try one or the other to judge for yourself where you feel most comfortable.

(in reply to comesoncommand)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/19/2006 2:33:55 PM   
ravn


Posts: 328
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		I've played in public play-spaces, and i've now played at private parties.
The biggest difference? I was more at ease at the private party and not once did i get someone coming up to say "That's just wrong! How can you say you like that? He's making you say that isn't he? I wouldn't use that thing on my horse!"



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Masochism is a valuable job skill.
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Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.
~Proverb ( bring on the tyranny!)

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RE: public vs. private play - 7/19/2006 2:49:39 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		I find most often the biggest difference in public and private play is the number of people and (usually) the extent of sexual intimacy.
 
I like both.  Public play (for me) is a great place to play with a new partner.  There are Dungeon Monitors around, lotsa people...but less 'personal' than a private party.  I like that...  That...and no sex at the Public venue.
 
Private parties are fun because there IS often sex there...and more intimate fun.  Still, some play, some don't.  At a private party, I might be more relaxed...enough to try some newier kind of play; and include more sexual stuff.  I dunno...it's just that; private.
 
I've never had someone ever approach us and say anything like 'you're doing it wrong'.  Though, I did once have a DM check-in to ask if this was resistance play.  But then...a nervous cop was watching!  LOL
 
MOO;  MNSHO..............YMMV

(in reply to ravn)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/19/2006 2:53:10 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		 
LOL... you like sjamboks too, huh?  sweet!   
 
Still, I probably wouldn't use one on a horse, either!  Weren't they made for elephants (and later 'crowd control'?)


(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/19/2006 2:55:42 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Believe it or not, the private play parties I've been to (not that there are that many) have had more people than the public ones...go figure! 

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/19/2006 2:57:38 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		 
LOL... who knew?

(in reply to bandit25)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/19/2006 3:02:01 PM   
ravn


Posts: 328
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		yeah, it (the sjambok) is the most painful form of non-lethal crowd control that they employ, but they were origianlly made out of elephant/rhino skin, but that's illegal so we use good ole hard rubbery-plastic here.

_____________________________

Masochism is a valuable job skill.
Chuck Palahniuk
Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.
~Proverb ( bring on the tyranny!)

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/19/2006 3:53:57 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		Its hard for me to play when others are watching but I would play in a public place like the beach at night or in a parking lot it just makes me  uncomfortable when others are watching.  If my Dom wanted me to play in front of others with him but only with him I would do it for him.  I would never be able to play at a public party no matter how much he asked me too.

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to ravn)
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RE: public vs. private play - 7/20/2006 11:24:00 AM   
MdmSarah


Posts: 32
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline 		I've always found private play parties by either  making friends with folks through munches then getting invited, or just by hosting my own.   I adore hosting private parties - good friends, good food, good play, stretched out over a weekend.  I'm fairly liberal in the rules I ask guests to follow - cover anything that's penetrating with a condom, sit on a towel if you're naked, keep play to the guest and play rooms only, clean up when you're done.   Otherwise, it's more of an open atmosphere than a "public" play party - and people are more likely to join in scenes because as the host, at least I know everyone.

Hmm...sounds like I need to start planning a weekend sometime soon....

< Message edited by MdmSarah -- 7/20/2006 11:25:39 AM >

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
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