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Men! - 1/20/2016 4:31:22 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		One thing that drives me nuts about them is, when there is a problem. I mean, like something bad happened at work or something, they go into a mood, and alot of other stuffs comes out that is unrelated to the real problem at hand. Until I get mad about them being ridiculous unreasonable and mean at the moment! And then I hear the real issue.

Which then I have no choice but to put aside my anger and focus on being supportive on the actual issue!

But what piss me off is, I get piss off already over nothing! When if only they could have just said, "This and that happened at work today and it's bumming me out!" We could have just not even fight over stupid unimportant things just to find out about, what the real situation is!

And I could have been calm and supportive to the real problem instead of getting upset and fuming over nothing!

Argh!!!

Just ranting.

If you are a man who do not do that, I applaud you! Please don't ever do this!

PS: Incase anyone think saying as it is, like word for word everything I typed here has never been communicated to the man, or I would say men, before, it has! It never works. The same thing happen over and over again. When I bitch about something behind people's back, I bitch about it infront of their faces first. I always let the person know when there is a problem! And suggest a solution. I'm always very pragmatic and just want solutions.

So it's like either I get used to it, the whole drama cycle, which Ugh! Driving me me nuts!

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/20/2016 4:41:44 AM >
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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 5:04:43 AM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline 		Unfortunately the repressed / misdirected anger/frustration is fairly common. Woman do it too but I think men do it more. We are taught to be tough and not show emotion, "to be a man" from an early age. It can be hard to unlearn a lifetime of training.

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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 5:17:28 AM   
freedomdwarf1


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Status: offline 		Many men could say the same thing about women, Greta!

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chattelmansub


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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 11:39:14 AM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75


If you are a man who do not do that, I applaud you! Please don't ever do this!




Never in my life have I wanted to talk about work outside of work.

I'm pretty much an all or nothing person, so that means that when I'm at work I give it 100% no let up, but upon the moment I leave the premises at night that's it, gone, another part of my day opens up and it doesn't in any way, shape or form include thinking about work.

I'm a 100% work person and a 100% leisure person, neither impacts upon the other. Work is the place where I go to achieve and when I leave there I have other things to achieve, such as talking shite on a message board, that don't involve work - but then, I suppose here I am talking about work.

But, I don't want a round of applause.

You make your choices/set your stall out and you should just get on with it. No use in moaning.

If you don't like something then change it, don't moan about a choice you've made.

I work in a situation with a lot of pressure. Probably more than most on here. As a result I make a point of talking itself through in my mind before I enter work: what am I prepared to accept in terms of having more work than I could possibly cope with, where is the line to be drawn, in what circumstances am I going to say no.

And, that's the trick. Set your stall out in your mind and stick to your guns whatever you've decided. Mind you, this demands that you're a reasonable and ethical person because in the event you start shouting the odds sailing close to the wind of subordination then of course you'll be out of a job and struggling for a reference.

I'd imagine most people on who moan about work just aren't planning and sticking to what they're prepared to accept. It helps of course in the event you're value for money.

I like work, I mean really like work. It's a place where I achieve things. What's not to like about that?

I haven't had a weekend off since I came back from Italy in September. Some weekends worked both days and others just one. I also get in to work between 7.30 and 8 every morning and leave around 6.30/7 on average.

But, that's my choice. Don't like it then don't do it and find another job/career.

We have a saying in England, or at least in the North East: no use in crying over spilt milk.



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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 12:14:42 PM   
RottenJohnny


Posts: 1677
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Status: offline 		FR

Maybe it's just me but I find that women seem to get even more pissed when I tell them exactly what I'm thinking.

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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 3:31:11 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

Many men could say the same thing about women, Greta!


Indeed. An example springs immediately to mind.

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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 3:34:42 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RottenJohnny

FR

Maybe it's just me but I find that women seem to get even more pissed when I tell them exactly what I'm thinking.



You don't do that, do you? For god's sake, man, what planet were you born on?

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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 5:49:52 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Meh. We both get into moods and get snippy with each other. It happens. It's life and we know neither of us is usually to blame. We just give each other space. Pretty simple

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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 5:51:06 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		Yup. That's about the size of it.

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RE: Men! - 1/20/2016 7:41:01 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		NorthernGent,

This job situation involves forced relocation, huge pay cut due to the differences in taxes from my country to the other country. Same pay, but different tax systems. Could be a difference of 40% to 50% for taxes. And of course no longer being in the same country as me.

A situation this serious, I just expected him to just tell me this has happened. And yes, he is considering to tender his resignation, as he does not want to leave. Major decisions to be made.

I don't think there should be any stigma in discussing work issues. I talk about my work issues to another of my friend all the time, but because we work in similar line, so he understands and gives good advice.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/20/2016 7:50:21 PM >

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RE: Men! - 1/21/2016 3:07:20 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: RottenJohnny

FR

Maybe it's just me but I find that women seem to get even more pissed when I tell them exactly what I'm thinking.


You don't do that, do you? For god's sake, man, what planet were you born on?


Wait, this isn't usual? I prefer to know EXACTLY what the people in my life are thinking. Always.

Why wouldn't I?

Not knowing doesn't mean they are not thinking it, and can lead to incredible miscommunication.

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RE: Men! - 1/21/2016 4:31:54 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		By way of an answer - this on my Facebook page this morning:

'If a woman asks if she looks fat, it's not enough to say "no". You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary.'



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RE: Men! - 1/22/2016 3:49:57 AM   
NookieNotes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

By way of an answer - this on my Facebook page this morning:

'If a woman asks if she looks fat, it's not enough to say "no". You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary.'


LOL! That's funny.

But also not what I'm looking for in my life. If I actually look fat. Fat, as in: I am finding you less attractive now, because you are gaining weight/being less active/etc, then I want to know.

I may or may not choose to do anything about it.

But I want to know.

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RE: Men! - 1/22/2016 12:15:59 PM   
Kana


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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Meh. We both get into moods and get snippy with each other. It happens. It's life and we know neither of us is usually to blame. We just give each other space. Pretty simple

Or someone gets the fuck slapped out of them :-)

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RE: Men! - 1/23/2016 7:43:33 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
'If a woman asks if she looks fat, it's not enough to say "no". You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary.'


I give men a trickier question. I send them a picture of a woman which I then I ask them the question of, if she's bigger than me, or slimmer than me? Or same size?

I sent it to 3 different men who have slept with me for more than a year. So they know my entire naked body intimately, and should be able to judge.

1 man say bigger, but you're not fat anyway to start with (Honest and diplomatic, and this is my longest lasting FB)! 1 man said, exactly the same (This guy proposed marriage to me, but I somewhat didn't like his answer, clearly we never got married). 1 man said slimmer (We simply parted because he relocated, I don't know if his honest or not, but it kinda made me happy, plus when this question was posted to all 3, he was the last person who was with me naked among all three). Haha!

I occasionally send pictures of women to men and ask them if they think she was fat. I never ask directly if I was fat.

I got to say, my current closest sexual mesh now reacted exactly how you described it. Act shock like how could anyone think I'm fat lol, I guess he read that facebook post.




< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/23/2016 7:54:24 PM >

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RE: Men! - 1/24/2016 12:13:41 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

NorthernGent,

This job situation involves forced relocation, huge pay cut due to the differences in taxes from my country to the other country. Same pay, but different tax systems. Could be a difference of 40% to 50% for taxes. And of course no longer being in the same country as me.

A situation this serious, I just expected him to just tell me this has happened. And yes, he is considering to tender his resignation, as he does not want to leave. Major decisions to be made.

I don't think there should be any stigma in discussing work issues. I talk about my work issues to another of my friend all the time, but because we work in similar line, so he understands and gives good advice.


It's certainly not a stigma with me.

It's a choice: I'm at work quite a bit of my life and while there work gets my 100% attention.

All the more reason to leave it behind the minute I walk out of the door. Work is an important part if my life, but not the be all and end all.

As for taxes, relocation and pay cuts: no sympathy here. Life can seem tough, but really it ain't; it's as tough as you want to make it. Either resign or don't and just get on with it. You'll all be still alive at the end of it.

Now of course let's say you or he/she needs that money, then more fool you/he/she tying yourself into a job and a lifestyle you can't afford to lose.


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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: Men! - 1/24/2016 2:59:26 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

By way of an answer - this on my Facebook page this morning:

'If a woman asks if she looks fat, it's not enough to say "no". You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary.'


LOL! That's funny.

But also not what I'm looking for in my life. If I actually look fat. Fat, as in: I am finding you less attractive now, because you are gaining weight/being less active/etc, then I want to know.

I may or may not choose to do anything about it.

But I want to know.


Actually, it's obtruded onto my consciousness, over the years, that I tend to assume that women are, in certain ways, a lot more fragile than they really are. Counterintuitive, maybe, given that I'm a sub male.

I think that, these days, if a partner were to say, 'I want you tell me if you find me fat - that is, less attractive' - I'd be more likely to take her at her word and tell her, should that situation arise. Still not easy, though.



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RE: Men! - 1/25/2016 1:13:44 AM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

By way of an answer - this on my Facebook page this morning:

'If a woman asks if she looks fat, it's not enough to say "no". You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary.'


LOL! That's funny.

But also not what I'm looking for in my life. If I actually look fat. Fat, as in: I am finding you less attractive now, because you are gaining weight/being less active/etc, then I want to know.

I may or may not choose to do anything about it.

But I want to know.


Actually, it's obtruded onto my consciousness, over the years, that I tend to assume that women are, in certain ways, a lot more fragile than they really are. Counterintuitive, maybe, given that I'm a sub male.

I think that, these days, if a partner were to say, 'I want you tell me if you find me fat - that is, less attractive' - I'd be more likely to take her at her word and tell her, should that situation arise. Still not easy, though.


Yeah. It's funny when actual honest communication is something that we have to get used to doing, because:

1. We have learned it's not well-received, and so we've created other instinctual patterns.
2. It's not well-received, because we've learned that it's proper that we only hear socially-coated niceness from everyone around us, including our closest friends and partners, and we don't have experience or the tools in handling the truth.

Weird.


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RE: Men! - 1/25/2016 9:26:37 AM   
mousekabob


Posts: 187
Status: offline 		I've never understood why women or anyone really, asks another if they are fat. You either are or you are not and if you are, you probably already know you are. I've never once asked someone if I was fat. I already know I am. All I have to do is try on my pants from a couple of years ago to know I am. Not rocket science.

To ask someone else if you are fat is setting yourself up for disappointment, sadness, depression, kind of like self torment. If that's your thing though...go for it.


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