LadyPact
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Have I ever told you that I love these, Jeff? I don't necessarily seem them as sexist. Usually, they turn out to be funny with no real harm done. While I agree it's more an individual thing depending on the person that you are with, these little laughs at ourselves can be entertaining. (By the way, I always think of you when the subject of throw pillows comes up.)
Without further ado...
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ORIGINAL: jlf1961
In response to the "Men" thread....
1) No concept of the passing of time, when they say "I will be out in a minute" you can figure on 20, and if they say "Give me a few" you might as well sit and watch the replay of a football game.
I cop to this 100%. I call it living in really long minute world. I honestly don't care what you do while time is suspended, (i.e., the aforementioned watching of the football game). Your job while I'm getting ready to go anywhere is to leave me the f^ck alone. I get ready to go anywhere in a very specific order, so you're not "helping" me by handing me my cell phone when I'm on another step in the 'getting ready to go' process. What you're really doing is interrupting the way I do things, which means I have to try to remember what stage I was in during getting ready and nine times out of ten, it's going to mean that it will take me longer. We'll both be better off (and out the door when we're supposed to be) if you just let me do what I have to do. Over the years, MP has just adjusted to this by telling me we have to leave at least fifteen minutes earlier than we really have to be out of the door.
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2) Lack of comprehension for the physics property of 'stored energy' and 'gravity,' i.e the toilet seat, if it is up, tap it and it returns to the down position with zero effort.
I do not find this to be acceptable. The bathroom is generally one of the rooms with the best acoustics in the house. (Why do you think so many people sing in the shower?) That tap results in a loud crash of the toilet seat hitting the bowl, which generally draws the attention of every other pair of ears in the house, which follows that well meaning people will concern themselves with asking you if you are alright. This is not only embarrassing but annoys me at having to answer somebody during nature's call.
Which, by the way, is something you should know. If the bathroom door is closed and I'm in there, anything you are bringing up in casual conversation can WAIT. I'm really not going to be in there so long that any trivial matter can't be put on hold. The exceptions to this are if you are screaming FIRE, have fallen down and have broken something, or you are bleeding from the head. Like every other mother on the planet, I have spent my years when the off-spring were little and I got no privacy in the bathroom. You are grown. I expect you to have a more reasonable approach.
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3) The habit of bringing up past arguments even when not ever REMOTELY connected to the present point of conflict.
Allow me to introduce you to two concepts that exist in my world. One is called "dot to dot" thinking. You may not see how whatever is going on at the current moment will be connected to what you did years ago but I can assure you that I do. It might be kind of like that six degrees from Kevin Bacon thing. However, it really is there. Ask me after I'm done being pissed off and I'll gladly draw you a map.
Second, all women have what I call the mental filing cabinet. We're not necessarily chomping at the bit to pull out some old, dust-covered, forgotten file, but we know it's in there. You may have forgotten what's in any of those files. I haven't.
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4) The annoying habit of staying in the shower so long that the hot water is used up. I have personally known of women that would use up the water in an 80 gallon hot water heater.
Bah. I know men who do the same thing. If you want the hot water, get in the shower first. Simple.
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5) Strange fascination with owning as many pairs of shoes as financially viable.
This is because you do not understand shoes as a category. Under the category of shoes, you must understand that there are sub categories, otherwise known as sneakers, boots, sandals, etc. We've been trying to teach you people for years that the brown shoes do not go with the black pants, that there is a difference between flats, heels, and pumps, and many other nuances to what we wear on our feet. Until we get you past that, there is no point of us trying to teach you about handbags and other accessories.
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6) They use up all their closet space and appropriate everyone else's
On this, I will defend myself. MP actually owns as many clothes as I do if you consider things like uniforms. I know you have first hand experience on what that really entails, so I'm taking the win on this one.
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7) Unable to grasp the idea that if a dishwasher can cut grease off dishes etc, it will work perfectly well on engine parts.
I might find this acceptable *if* you don't put another damn thing in the dishwasher with them *and* agree to run an additional (empty) cycle after you take them out. Frankly, I say the same thing about sex toys/insertables. If you don't have an autoclave, this is one of the best methods for things like glass dildos, etc. Want it clean? It's the best appliance in your house.
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8) what the hell is wrong with gutting fish in the kitchen sink? It's that most of you don't know how to clean a sink afterwards worth a damn. Learn how to leave my kitchen in the same state as the way you found it and we'll talk.
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9) inability to understand that if a suitcase is 2 cubic feet in volume, you cannot get 9 cubic feet of clothing in it.
I will be the first person to admit that I overpack. This is especially true if we are going somewhere kink related for a few days. How am I to know what kind of scenes I may want to engage in while I'm there? You think you only need one pair of shoes, but I probably need five. (See above post about how you don't understand how shoes work.) I'm not wearing that f^cking corset all of the way on the drive there, and there really are such things as day and evening leather. You are not required to understand this. Your job is to pack the vehicle. If I can get the items into any particular suitcase and it *closes,* I'm good.
Edited for a spelling error.
< Message edited by LadyPact -- 1/21/2016 10:24:46 AM >
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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
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