yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (Full Version)

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wannapleez -> yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/7/2016 12:54:19 PM)
So, this was interesting. I was looking at the "Newest Local Users" the other day. One of the users was a woman who is less than half my age and a FinDomme. Neither of these appeal to me, but she posed a question in her profile that I felt I had some insight into. And so I sent her a note with my thoughts. I also explained my tastes (didn't want to lead her on). And you know what happened? SHE WROTE BACK! And the conversation continued for several more emails. Someone who is specifically here to make money, and knowing that she wasn't going to get a cent out of me, still took the time to communicate with me. I wasn't "wasting [her] time" (as I've heard indirectly from many). Contrast that with the numerous times when I have expressed interest in a woman, or even just paid her a compliment, and never heard back a single word. And this rudeness gets justified for 101 "reasons", which I always felt were lame, but become flat-out ridiculous in light of this lady's actions. So hang in there, folks. There actually are some people who were taught manners.

DesFIP -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/8/2016 7:43:22 PM)
What this shows you is that when you aren't presenting yourself as looking for sex, you get viewed as a decent human being. We're all able to make that distinction and to respond only to people who don't give us those creepy vibes and to delete those who do without comment.

wannapleez -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/10/2016 2:37:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP What this shows you is that when you aren't presenting yourself as looking for sex, you get viewed as a decent human being. We're all able to make that distinction and to respond only to people who don't give us those creepy vibes and to delete those who do without comment. No, not really. The usual lack of responses is in no way connected to the content of my messages. As I stated in the OP: Contrast that with the numerous times when I have expressed interest in a woman, or even just paid her a compliment, and never heard back a single word. Plus, even when I do express interest, such expression is commensurate with that person's profile (actually, it's usually tamer).

Kana -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/10/2016 3:05:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannapleez So, this was interesting. I was looking at the "Newest Local Users" the other day. One of the users was a woman who is less than half my age and a FinDomme. Neither of these appeal to me, but she posed a question in her profile that I felt I had some insight into. And so I sent her a note with my thoughts. I also explained my tastes (didn't want to lead her on). And you know what happened? SHE WROTE BACK! And the conversation continued for several more emails. Someone who is specifically here to make money, and knowing that she wasn't going to get a cent out of me, still took the time to communicate with me. I wasn't "wasting [her] time" (as I've heard indirectly from many). Contrast that with the numerous times when I have expressed interest in a woman, or even just paid her a compliment, and never heard back a single word. And this rudeness gets justified for 101 "reasons", which I always felt were lame, but become flat-out ridiculous in light of this lady's actions. So hang in there, folks. There actually are some people who were taught manners. Funny. I've been here for years. Had conversations with all types, subs, slave, dommes, dominants, whatever. Usually starts with them asking me something or me spotting a forum post or something in a profile that inspires comment or question on my behalf. Some people respond. Some don't. But I've found that as long as I come off as reasonable and not a jerk, I can get some great conversations started and, as long as my head is on straight, can learn from everyone I interact with

LadyPact -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 6:30:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannapleez Contrast that with the numerous times when I have expressed interest in a woman, or even just paid her a compliment, and never heard back a single word. And this rudeness gets justified for 101 "reasons", which I always felt were lame, but become flat-out ridiculous in light of this lady's actions. So hang in there, folks. There actually are some people who were taught manners. Why do other people's reasons seem less valid just because the person who wrote you back didn't have the same reasons? She was local to you. That means you might actually have information for her regarding events that happen in your area or other tidbits regarding location. In other words, there might be an advantage to answering your email because the contact could pay off at a later date. It's not the blanket, "oh this person has manners and other people who don't answer emails are rude" that you think it is. It's just that in her evaluation of emails, she, like everybody else, answered the ones that could have an advantage to her now or at a later date.

littleladybug -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 7:03:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannapleez Contrast that with the numerous times when I have expressed interest in a woman, or even just paid her a compliment, and never heard back a single word. And this rudeness gets justified for 101 "reasons", which I always felt were lame, but become flat-out ridiculous in light of this lady's actions. Please explain to me why I have any sort of obligation to respond to unsolicited messages.

wannapleez -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 8:05:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact [color] In other words, there might be an advantage to answering your email because the contact could pay off at a later date. ....... It's just that in her evaluation of emails, she, like everybody else, answered the ones that could have an advantage to her now or at a later date. [/color] If that reasoning doesn't set off alarms bells in your head, I'll never be able to explain it.

wannapleez -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 8:06:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug Please explain to me why I have any sort of obligation to respond to unsolicited messages. Please explain to me why you bothered to ask a question for which you want no answer.

littleladybug -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 8:09:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannapleez quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug Please explain to me why I have any sort of obligation to respond to unsolicited messages. Please explain to me why you bothered to ask a question for which you want no answer. No, actually, I really do want to know. You seem to be very concerned about "manners", and I would like to know how that ties into replying to unsolicited messages.

LadyPact -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 8:14:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannapleez If that reasoning doesn't set off alarms bells in your head, I'll never be able to explain it. Well, sorry. It's doesn't. You may disagree with the word advantage. Would you prefer benefit/beneficial? See, an email from somebody in the same location has that. If you'd have been some wanker from (by example) Egypt, it wouldn't have had the same benefit. A person in a relationship isn't going to get anything from the drive-by "let's get it on" messages they are sent. There are lots of reasons not to reply to every email. It's entirely up to the receiver if they believe there is a potential positive to engaging in conversation or not. We're always going to have to agree to disagree on this one. An investment in writing an email on your part doesn't obligate the receiver.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 11:41:35 AM)
quote: Please explain to me why you bothered to ask a question for which you want no answer. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetorical_question

StrongSpirit -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 6:39:21 PM)
The belief that women are polite and respond to men that are polite is patently false. Women are human beings, not another species. They are almost EXACTLY like men. This means that most of them pick who they respond to for exactly the same shallow, bad reasons that men pick women. Yes, there are a few good women out there that will reply to men that write great emails. But most women don't care how brilliant you are in an email. They make their decisions based on factors that are just as shallow as men do. Height is the most common constraint, but there are others. The simplest way for a woman to get a man to write to her is to post a fake picture. The simplest way to get a woman to reply is to lie about your height. Neither work out in the long term.

ManOeuvre -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/11/2016 6:48:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit The belief that women are polite and respond to men that are polite is patently false. Women are human beings, not another species. They are almost EXACTLY like men. This means that most of them pick who they respond to for exactly the same shallow, bad reasons that men pick women. Yes, there are a few good women out there that will reply to men that write great emails. But most women don't care how brilliant you are in an email. They make their decisions based on factors that are just as shallow as men do. Height is the most common constraint, but there are others. The simplest way for a woman to get a man to write to her is to post a fake picture. The simplest way to get a woman to reply is to lie about your height. Neither work out in the long term. Not nice, but not wrong. Such is life.

dreamlady -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/12/2016 3:27:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit Yes, there are a few good women out there that will reply to men that write great emails (depending on what she considers to be a "great" or well-written message, because meaningful is more important than whatever a man considers to be impressive from his standpoint). But most women don't care how brilliant you are in an email if you are writing a message which impresses only your own self [unless you're like moi, who sometimes can't resist imparting some much-needed advice for a man's own good on how to improve his approach]. There, fixed it for ya. quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit They make their decisions based on factors that are just as shallow as men do. Guilty as charged. Age appropriateness, geographic location, compatibility, seriousness in wanting an exclusive relationship commitment, a head of tuggable hair, stuff like dat. quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit Height is the most common constraint, but there are others. Also guilty as charged. I just can't make myself feel sexually attracted to a man who is either too short or too tall for me. But, I will allow for an inch shorter than what I would prefer, if that inch gets compensated elsewhere. [8D] Most guys fudge 3 things, which is ironic considering how literal-minded these same guys usually are. Literal, as in hung up on FACTS, on the provable, the observable. For some strange reason, they can measure objects with precision but get brain freeze when it comes to their own anatomical measurements, being an average of an inch off in two places. This is never on the short end of the stick either. [:o] (Btw, the third thing is income and/or job title [level of professional responsibility], but that's the least of my concerns in the overall picture.) quote: ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit The simplest way for a woman to get a man to write to her is to post a fake picture. The simplest way to get a woman to reply is to lie about your height. Neither work out in the long term. When it comes to on line, some men are just as prone to pass off an "old" photo of themselves than some women are. The same with understating their weight, if they feel self-conscious about being overweight or overly husky. As for age, I've run into plenty of older men who lie about their age -- you don't want to hear the horror stories. Believe me, you don't. [image]http://cdn.collarspace.com/attachments/021216/03ED1604-DCB7-469C-8D2F-0774F6CAB93A1.jpg[/image] DreamLady

wannapleez -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/12/2016 12:25:15 PM)
A little quiz. This is phrased as though the "you" is a woman and the other party is a man, but either of these can be changed as the situation warrants. You are walking down the hall at work. A man approaches from the opposite direction. He smiles and says, "Good morning." Which of the following do you do?: A) Smile back and also say "Good morning." B) Ignore him. C) Say/do nothing now, but evaluate if a return greeting would be beneficial to you. When you decide at 2:15 pm, you hunt down his office, poke in your head and say "Good morning." D) Kick him in the junk and run the other way. E) Look at him derisively because a smile and exchanged pleasantries is how things started with your psychotic ex. If you choose (A), why?

LadyPact -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/12/2016 12:51:21 PM)
Since you very specifically said in one of the options that the guy has an office, so he is obviously a co-worker, I'll go with A. Here's your explanation. If that person actually works with me, he is a part of said company, which means he is potentially someone that I have to work with. Whatever he does within the office and whatever I do have the potential to be necessary to interact at sometime on something business related. Meaning the stuff that comes into play with earning my paycheck. Yep. Looking at it like that completely explains why she may have written back where I wouldn't.

littleladybug -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/12/2016 1:09:44 PM)
I would choose A. These are office pleasantries though. A completely different scenario than responding to an unsolicited message from someone with whom you have no affiliation.

wannapleez -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/12/2016 7:40:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Since you very specifically said in one of the options that the guy has an office, so he is obviously a co-worker, I'll go with A. Here's your explanation. If that person actually works with me, he is a part of said company, which means he is potentially someone that I have to work with. Whatever he does within the office and whatever I do have the potential to be necessary to interact at sometime on something business related. Meaning the stuff that comes into play with earning my paycheck. Yep. Looking at it like that completely explains why she may have written back where I wouldn't. So am I just a dumbass redneck who returns greetings with no expectation of future benefit? Or are you doubling down rather than conceding that maybe, just maybe, I might have half a point?

DesFIP -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/12/2016 7:53:18 PM)
You behave professionally with coworkers because not doing so can cause you not to be promoted, or receive a bonus, or get fired. There is no relationship between that and getting an unwanted email from a guy who thinks talking about your physical attributes is complimentary. It isn't. The fact that you drool upon seeing a woman's cleavage is not a compliment. Far from it. Or that you have a think for women with that color and length of hair. We are no more required to respond to creepy come ons than we are to stay on the line with a cold call salesperson to thank them for their offer of vacuum cleaner demonstration when we aren't planning to accept it. In fact, by not wasting your time, we're probably being politer than if it were the opposite.

LadyPact -> RE: yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus (2/13/2016 3:09:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wannapleez So am I just a dumbass redneck who returns greetings with no expectation of future benefit? Or are you doubling down rather than conceding that maybe, just maybe, I might have half a point? [sm=shame.gif] Let's keep in mind that I didn't call you a dumbass. What I am saying that you and I see the matter differently. Your hypothetical was a situation that automatically has a benefit because pleasantries between co-workers has direct impact on the person returning a morning greeting. Your email to the person in question might have had a benefit to it because a) you specifically answered a question in her profile and b) you live in the same local area, so you may be a resource. So, that person may have seen an advantage or future benefit to answering your email. On the other hand, that same email would not have had the necessary time to benefit ratio to other people. The receiver is the person who determines whether something warrants a response or not based on their own criteria. What the sender thinks that criteria should be is inconsequential.

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